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Author Topic: Uh oh, newbie fanfic!  (Read 31301 times)
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Bending Unit
« Reply #480 on: 01-26-2005 15:42 »
« Last Edit on: 01-26-2005 15:42 »

*Ducks for snowball*

Woooo! Mutiny! I've always wondered why it never happened in the series.

And I love mysteries, I'm just a very curious and impatient person   ;)
Well, actually, there's a lot of snow outside right now, I even played in it a couple of days ago! But the problem is that our school system doesn't have a snow-day rule. If they'd had, I wouldn't be sitting here with an injured knee right now. (Yes, I slipped and fell. It was funny, but it hurt like hell!)

Anyway, I like the big words used in your story. I keep adding these difficult words to my vocabulary. I think I owe you a big thanks on my latest A in English!   :D

Edit: TOTPD! Covered in snowballs!

Bending Unit
« Reply #481 on: 01-26-2005 16:26 »

And the plot moves! I didn't see that coming, mutiny. Having Zapp locked up with Hermes and Amy is also somewhat bound to be...interesting  :D And you write Zapp brilliantly, that's was just so him.
Now, I'm worried about Kif. Will he be the hero that saves the day? (Or not?) Looking forward to the next chapter!

Starship Captain
« Reply #482 on: 01-26-2005 20:21 »

Ooooh interesting chapter...Great work! Can't wait for your next update. The suspense....

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #483 on: 01-27-2005 07:39 »

Okay, I would have volunteered to shovel your driveway if not for the fact that I...um...lost my shovel by a cliff...which I threw it off of.

Anyway, it looks like I had two great chapters to read today, so review I must.

Part 40
All us shippers* were waiting forever for Fry and Leela stuff, and there it is! Like N-o-r said, an exchange like that would probably never have happened in the show, but hey, by the standards of fanfic world (where your readers won't turn on you if you take small liberties with the characters), that was about as in-character as Fry and Leela can get in a shippy scene (driving the point home without becoming incredibly saccharine about it). That said, I think you wrote their exchange incredibly well. I loved this moment especially, (which JBERGES thankfully quoted earlier, saving me the task of actually having to search for it, 'cause that would tempt me to read that part again, while I'm trying to comment):

The weary woman giggled awkwardly in sudden embarrassment as she pulled away. “I, ah, I missed your laugh.”

Fry raised his eyebrows in pleasant surprise. Leela didn’t have to see it, she could just feel it. “Is that all you missed about me, baby, ‘cause I really missed you too.” He brushed her arm in feather-light touch.

Fry didn’t have to see her glare at him, he could just feel it. The ritual was immensely comforting to the delivery boy.

“Do you have to ruin everything?” she demanded, not nearly as irritated as she made out to be. The routine was like slipping on an old pair of shoes, relaxing and stabilizing. They smiled together in the dark.

Great job all around.

Part 41
And the Zapper's back! What can I say? The idea of a mutiny is fantastic, Zapp was hilarious, and I'm really starting to wonder about Kif. I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

Tee, hee, hee...sexy ramen noodle...


*Gorky is 50% shipper, 50% insane-o, needy, annoying lady...person

Urban Legend
« Reply #484 on: 01-27-2005 14:24 »

Originally posted by the talented and probably beautiful Layla50
And N-o-r gave me fantastic idea, although we'll have to see if he let's me use it.


Umm...err..just coughing.



« Reply #485 on: 01-28-2005 02:24 »
« Last Edit on: 01-28-2005 02:24 »

man hope layla wasn't crashed by snow.........or at least until shes finished writing and posting her fic   :laff:

Starship Captain
« Reply #486 on: 01-28-2005 13:09 »

Very good so far, keep up the good work.

I just can't wait for the rest of the story.

(I still have the fealing that Fry will be saved by a true love kiss from Leela   :)   :D   :flirt:   :love: )

Bending Unit
« Reply #487 on: 01-28-2005 22:51 »

Thank you once again for all the encouraging comments. This isn't an update I'm afraid, but it's a promise of a huge update tommorow. Big things happening with Fry and Leela and with Zapp and Hermes. Possibly a Nixon scene, but if I don't get that done, then there should be another shortly. I suspect that within a week or two most of the big secrets will be revealed and then the big climax and then all the wind down to this monstrosity. Still, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. Big things tommorow anyway.

say what now: Yep! Plotty stuff, and more to come. I've dragged this out quite long enough. I gotta give you a hug for being creeped out. It's wonderful and adorable and touching. I'm also thrilled you're enjoying the Kif mystery. I love the hurry song and I will endeavor to do just that. (And I don't mind demanding, cause it tells me you like it!)

Futurama Nerd: So, I hear you want to meet me. That's sweet, thank you! And yay! I have a bodyguard! I'm so glad you liked the sexy ramen noodle, 'cause came completely out of my head, whereas some of those awful pick up lines are from the internet. (I suppose I should credit somebody... ah well.)

PJ:Ooh! Make sure you tell me if you've guessed right. (Even if you have, I'm pretty sure you haven't guesed the whole story.)

As for your question, to space somebody, or one's self is to jettison them out an airlock. (Not a pretty way to die.)

I hope your weather clears up. Mine has (but there's still snow everywhere.)

morbo_it: Hold on to that pity, I think you're going to need it. Kif... will be back at some point.

Ol'coot: Yeah, I imagine there would be lots of joy! Heehee, that's quite a fun image.

bish: Regarding Kif, you'll have to wait and see. Thanls for the support!

becky: Good duck! Mutiny is quite fun, and of course, this is dangerous mutiny. (To be honest, mostly, it's cause I don't want to make Zapp into some crazy psycho ruthless guy.) I'm really sorry you got hurt and I hope you feel better soon.  Oh, and I think you deserve all the credit for that A, and congratulations!

Asab: Oh, the three of them should be lots of fun to write. I'm delighted that you're enjoying the Zapper, and as I've said before, you'll just have to see about Kif!

Philp_J_fry: Heehee, I'm glad you're enjoying the suspense.

Gorky: Those dratted shovels, always getting away. I know, I know that shippy stuff was incredibly saccarine, but I figured since it's all going down hill fast, I could get away with it. I'm so glad you and Bergey enjoyed that part, as it's one of my favorites.
I guess I don't have to tell you to wait and see about Kif, as you've beaten me to it. Mutiny's are fun, and hopefully exciting if I can pull it off. (You've obviously got a well balanced personality.)

N-o-r: Hmm... well, first off, thanks! You're a cutie. (I bet you don't get that often on PEEL) And, I'm gonna take that post as a yes, since I have evidently driven you insane...er.

PJ: Ah, It's nice to be loved... for my writing if nothing esle.

NIC2001: Hello there! Thanks for all the encouragement! A true love kiss from Leela huh? I could say something, as this cracked me up, but I think I'd better let you wait and see why this is so funny.

Futurama Nerd

« Reply #488 on: 01-28-2005 23:53 »

Of course I'd want to meet you! Why wouldn't I? I'd have to if I'm going to be your bodyguard   ;)

Anywho can't wait for tommorows update! Big things eh? Makes me can't wait even more!
say what now

Bending Unit
« Reply #489 on: 01-29-2005 01:23 »

Big update tomorrow, eh?  :D Well, now I can go to bed happy. Thank you.

Originally posted by Layla50:
A true love kiss from Leela huh? I could say something, as this cracked me up, but I think I'd better let you wait and see why this is so funny.

SDFKJOASUGHASDFJK NOW I WANNA KNOW! (Now I'm going to go to bed thinking of what this could mean in all different sorts of senses and perspectives).


DOOP Secretary
« Reply #490 on: 01-29-2005 09:42 »

Well, actually, the point I was trying to make was that Part 40 was so incredibly well-written ship that, even if it was actually saccharine, it didn't make me want to wretch like 99.9% of the ship in most shippy fics (which isn't tactfully written, like that was). Seriously, no need to be so hard on yourself (because half of the people reading this were just waiting for the shippy stuff, which you delivered).

Oh, wait, why am I arguing? I get another part soon! Yay!

Bending Unit
« Reply #491 on: 01-29-2005 23:19 »

Here it is! This part features the strangest joke I have ever attempted. So run away now!

Gorky:Ah, I understand now, and I'm glad you've forgiven me for the other thing too! I'm kinda like Fry, you know, he likes eight spoons of sugar in his coffee, and I like eight spoons of sugar in my fanfics.

say what now: You will never guess. (Well, I seriously doubt it anyway. heeheeheehee)

Futurama Nerd: Well, if you find yourself in Nova Scotia one day, drop me a line. I'e always wanted someone to take a bullet for me. ;)

Oh, and PJ: Thanks for the guess, I'm gonna email you back soon!

Part 42:

   “Aiiiiieeeee! We’re all gonna die!” Leela watched through a narrowed eye as the panicking redhead splashed through the water tugging on his hair helplessly. There wasn’t much point in trying to intervene. Eventually, Fry would tire himself out and she’d be able to talk to him like an adult. Until then, Leela leaned against the rock face, arms folded. She was the living picture of a calmness she didn’t feel.

   When his well-thought-out plan for escape failed, Fry stopped his frantic pacing and turned to plan B. “Leela! Save us!”

   For a second she did not reply, waiting to make sure she had his full attention. She was mildly surprised when Fry did not axe again, instead merely pleading with his eyes.

Satisfied that he was listening, Leela gave him a little bit of empty reassurance. “Relax, Fry. For one thing, panicking won’t do us any good, and for another, the water’s not even waist high.”

‘There’ll be plenty of time for panic later if we can’t get out of here.’ Leela thought grimly. In truth, she was as worried as Fry was. She didn’t understand the rising water, and it deeply troubled her. The cyclops hadn’t forgotten the reason that Fry was stuck in this place. Her inability to wake him up had brought guilt rushing back, along with torrents of bitter recrimination. Leela had to get them out of that cavern, had to save Fry, had to wake up and comfort her parents. She was a seething cauldron of emotion, but Leela refused to show her anxiety. To admit fear was to give it power. Certainly, it wouldn’t do Fry any good, no more than if he gave in to his own fear.

   “But Leela-”

   The violet-haired woman shook her head firmly, irritation, bourn out of that repressed fear, surged up within her. “Just shut up and let me think, will you?” she snapped at him heatedly.

   “Fine, fine,” he replied, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. Silence, but for the steady trickle of water running over rock, reigned for a few minutes. That was as long as it took for Fry, his fear temporarily surrendered to Leela’s judgment, to get bored.

To alleviate the tedium, the delivery boy moved to the far opposite of Leela and began probing at it experimentally. The rock face was cold and smooth, made slick by the moisture in the air. There was no trace of moss on the uneven stone; it was utterly lifeless.

   In the excitement of seeing Leela, Fry had forgotten that he had not been alone. What had become of his mother and cousin? For that matter, what had happened to his dad, and Bender? And what was with that brain guy? He glanced at Leela. Her eye was shut and she was obviously deep in thought. It struck Fry that she looked sad, and he cringed unseen at her weary expression.

   As if she felt his gaze, Leela’s round eye snapped open and Fry quickly looked away.
“Fry? Did you see anyone when you were walking around before?”

   Grateful for her question, which spared him from interrupting her, he eagerly replied, “Yeah! A bunch of people! And Bender! And this brain guy, from that time you don’t remember. And dad and mom and my cousin, just before the lights went out.” Deliberately, he left out the angry man. “Man, I haven’t thought of her since I came to the future.”

   “Katy?” came the simple question.

   “Yeah, how did- oh! You saw them too?!” he cried in a rare flash of insight.

   “I saw Katy. She said she was your cousin- for real.” Leela put significance on her last two words. Fry blinked in confusion.

   “For real? Well, I guess so. What makes a real cousin real? There are Care Bear cousins, right? Are there cousins in law? And what about those other things, second cousins. What are they, like twins?” he babbled incoherently, casting a desperate look at her.

   “Never mind, Fry.” Leela rescued him from his own tangled thoughts easily. Unfortunately, it was much harder to rescue him from this prison. She stared at him suspiciously and he felt her solitary eye boring into him. “What else did you see?”

   “Uh, well-” he was reluctant to bring up the man that had attacked him, or seemed to. He rubbed his head thoughtfully and knew Leela had seen the gesture. After a beat, she growled at him impatiently, surprising him with the intensity of her interest. “I heard some noises, screams,” he clarified when she prompted him with a raised eyebrow. “And then this guy came out of nowhere and attacked me with… something.”

   “Did you recognize him?” Leela axed, eye wide.

   Fry tried valiantly to picture his face clearly, but it was no use. “Sorry, Leela. It was so dark and so fast. I was scared… Uh,, that is, if I wasn’t such a brave guy, I would have been scared.” he quickly tried to cover, eyes darting nervously.

   Leela rolled her eye. “Oh, get real Fry. Remember that time at the public pool?

   Fry laughed in chagrin. “It looked like a spider.” Suddenly he snickered in amusement. “Remember the sign? ‘Community P___’. Heh heh, pee.” 

   “Uh, Fry, mortal peril here?”

   “Huh? Oh yeah, right. You should relax more, Leela. I’m sure you’re gonna find some way to save us, like always. Just sit back and let it happen.” He stretched and started to sigh, when Leela leaned forward and grabbed his arm.

   “Don’t you dare!”

   “What?” the delivery boy feigned

   “This water better not get warmer.” Fry had the grace to look at little embarrassed. “After all, this is your brain.” Leela gestured around the cavern before tapping him lightly on the forehead.

   “Good point.” Fry acknowledged. Leela pulled them back to more important matters.

   “Katy seems different, at least, different from all those other women that are running around in your head.”

   Fry grinned sheepishly. “It’s a little crowded in here, isn’t it?”   

   Leela nodded, smiling. “So, what do you remember about her?” The redhead rubbed his hands together, brow furrowed in thought.

   “Well, you know, we grew up together. I haven’t thought about this is so long.” Fry shook his head. He still wasn’t feeling quite right. Life outside his own head seemed blurry and very far away. “I think… I think we kinda went through some things.” He lost himself in the past. When Leela spoke, it startled him.

   “What sorts of things?” Her concern gaze felt suddenly invasive, and Fry looked away. Memories came in fits and flashes, and they disturbed him in their vagueness. Katy was… scared? Crying? Or was that him? He didn’t know and so tried to gloss over it.

   “Oh, nothing major, you know. Kid stuff. I don’t really remember, and anyway, none of it really matters now.”

   “But maybe it does matter, Fry. Tell me about Katy, and maybe we can figure out more about that man. I think they’re connected somehow.”

   “Stay away from my daughter,” Fry sighed.

   “What?” Leela jumped on his words.

   “That’s what he said-”

   They were plunged into thick darkness and the sound of rushing water filled their ears. “Oh, not again.” Fry squeaked.

   “What did you do?” Leela demanded.

   “Nothing, I swear!” Fry tried to move forward and yelped as he tripped. Leela reached forward to where the water was being splashed around and hauled Fry to his feet. He clung to her, gasping and sputtering, trying to speak.

   “Quiet, she hissed. Leaned up against her, Fry could feel her heart pounding through her wet tank top, but he was too frightened to care.

   “Found you again, kid.” Once more, the dark voice came out of the darkness. “I told you that you couldn’t get away from me. But you just never listen, do you.” The deep-throated murmur came from straight behind them, all the more menacing for the velvet in his tone.

   Fry moaned in dismay. They spun around. Leela tried to confront the man, though she could not see him. Something brushed by her, and she tried to track the noiseless movement.

   “Who are you? Answer me!” she called, challenging the black air.

   A cruel laugh was the only reply.

   “This is the greatest injustice to ever fall down upon the noble name of Brannigan. Captain. Zapp. Captain Zapp Brannigan, that is.” The agent standing guard in place of the DOOP officer couldn’t resist briefly tossing off a mocking salute before returning to his watch. Brannigan had spent the last few minutes railing against his captivity.

   “This is very, very bad.” Hermes said quietly to Amy.

   “What’s that, soldier?” Zapp demanded,
staring into the Jamaican’s eyes. Hermes countered it with the fiery stare of a legendary limbo champion.

   “I’m not a soldier, man. I’m a bureaucrat. Hermes Conrad, grade 35.”

   “I’m not interested in your frivolities.” Brannigan waved his hands wildly at their surroundings. “Look where you’ve gotten me. I lost my ship, my command, my first officer. Oh, Kif! Why have you betrayed me?!” He bellowed dramatically at the sky.

   Infuriated, Amy grabbed Zapp by the shoulders and started bellowing at him. “My Kiffy did not betray you! He wouldn’t!” Her voice dropped dramatically. “Nobody got you into this but you and, and” she searched for words, “you’re a bad captain!”

   Zapp’s eyes grew big as tears gathered in them. “That’s mean.” he whimpered, before bursting into tears and wailing like a 250 pound baby.
   The display shocked Amy into silence but the bawling continued. It was earsplitting and Hermes shot Amy a poisonous glance as Brannigan draped a meaty arm over the bureaucrat. “Now look what you’ve done,” he muttered to her, not caring whether or not Zapp heard him.

   With an apologetic flinch for the effect her words had had on the ‘erstwhile’ captain, Amy tried to undo the damage. “There, there,” she comforted awkwardly through gritted teeth, “Maybe you just need more practice.

   “I’ve been a DOOP captain for years, wah!” he sobbed melodramatically on Hermes’ shoulder.

   “Uh, well, maybe you should consider another career.” she offered hopefully.

   “But I wanna be a captain!” he squealed, causing even the guard to clamp his hands over his ears.

   Pushed to his limits, Hermes cried, “Calm down! You’re a good captain,” he lied unconvincingly, “Tell him Amy!” When she hesitated, thinking of the horror stories Kif had told her, Hermes repeated, “Tell him now!” A tearful Brannigan looked expectantly at her, breath hitching.

   “Oh, all right. You’re a good captain, Captain.” Amy forced out unhappily.

   In an instant, his squalling disappeared as though it had never been. “You’re right about that, missy. Nobody out captains Captain Zapp Brannigan!” he cried triumphantly.

   A mocking clap drew their attention to the agents standing outside the cell. The head agent was grinning at them, clearly amused. “Bravo,” he said simply. “Nice to know that if we ever need a show we can count on you, Brannigan.” His beleaguered cellmates were almost happy to see the agent.

   The captain launched into an angry tirade. “Now see here!” He didn’t get far, however. The head agent held up a stern hand, holding a sterner weapon.

   “I do see; I did see, and now I’m going to find out everything I need to know. Take him,” he said coolly, indicating Hermes.

   Before the prisoners could protest, not that it would have done them any good, one of the agents dropped the force field while two others held lasers to prevent escape. Two more took hold of Hermes arms, and, ignoring Amy’s dismayed gasp dragged him out of the cell.

   “I’ll have your rank for this!” came Zapp’s bellow. Andrew merely laughed.

   “Fine with me, captain, as technically I don’t have a rank. One of the benefits of being a member of a secret government agency.”

   The force field went back up, and the agents left Amy and the Zapper alone in the cell, with the guard continuing to watch over them. Amy mournfully watched them leave. When she turned back, Brannigan was openly admiring the engineering student.

   “Well, now that I’ve gotten us a little privacy-”

   “If you try anything, I’ll… I’ll tell Leela about the video and let her eviscerate you.” Amy threatened. “Or better still, emasculate you,” she added poisonously.

   “I-” he began authoritatively, “have no idea what that means. No matter! I realize it’s going to be hard for you to keep your hands off me, but the situation is dire and we have no time for a lusty romp now.”

   Amy sighed in exasperation. Still, at least she had managed to keep the romantic at bay for the moment. Zapp was frowning as he peered closely at the walls. “Is this lipstick?” he asked, gingerly touching it. He turned a suspicious glance at her. “What exactly have you been doing in here anyway with that other guy and not me?”

   Hermes Conrad felt sick. He wasn’t sure what they were going to do to him, but he hoped it wouldn’t involve taxation… or cattle prods. He was restrained on a bed in the medical bay, and there were agents and crewmembers everywhere. Several of the crewmembers cast him apologetic expressions, for all the use it was to Hermes. The laser pointed at his head had convinced him not to struggle earlier, and now even if he wanted to fight back, there was no hope of escape.

   Despite knowing that, Hermes thrashed wildly when he saw they were going to inject him with something. ‘Not good. Not good!’ his survival instinct was screaming at him. “Can’t we just talk about this? Do you have any kids? I do! A boy, who’s every bit as anal retentive as his old man. Twelve years old. Needs a father! I’m sure I have a picture somewhere-”

   “Take it easy, now. You don’t want to be too worked up when you’re pumped full of this stuff,” the interrogation expect said calmly as he rolled up Hermes’ sleeve. “Stress can do all sorts of nasty things to you.” He chuckled lightly. “There was this one guy… well, you should have seen what we found during the autopsy.”

   Hermes swallowed hard. Before he could say anything else, something cold touched his arm. In a painless hiss, the drug rushed through his system. Although he knew it was impossible, the bureaucrat could swear he felt it surge icily upwards into his brain. Abruptly, the ice melted and warmth suffused through the bureaucrat. On some level, he was aware that he was singing calypso with a goofy smile on his face, but he was far to relaxed to care. The thought amused him however, and he giggled.

    “How do you feel?” came the echoing voice, interrupting his merriment.

   Hermes tried to think about that. “I feel like sugarcane in a green snake field,” he replied, then frowned. That wasn’t quite right, was it?

   “Is he under?”

   “And how?” the second voice was amused. Hermes felt a little put out by that and tried to regain control of the situation like the control freak he was.

   “This is no time for jokes people, that smelly freak tore up my office again. Somebody let the guinea pigs in there. I’m looking at you Bender.” He blinked, disoriented and attempted to figure out which of the two faces was the robot.

   “Is that our guy?”

   “Could be. Hey, listen up.” One of the figures reached out and tilted Hermes head towards him. “Who tore up your office?”

   “That idiot red guy. I’d like to see him clam baked!” The groggy man tried to sit up, thrusting his fist into the air, but the rest of his muscles were not inclined to cooperate and he slumped back down bonelessly.

   “Whoa. He’s pretty worked up for a guy flooded with Sodium Pentathol2: the new generation.”

   “Must really hate the mutant. I wonder why.” More questions penetrated Hermes drug induced haze. “So you hate this guy?”

   “Oh, I have for years.” Hermes replied conversationally, feeling almost chipper.

   “What’d he do to you?” The dark-skinned man scowled.

   “Not to me, to LaBarbara.”

   “Who’s LaBarbara?”

   “My wife, my beautiful, legally bound wife.” Hermes eyes narrowed in fury. “One look at Zoidberg and she’s having dreams about him!”

   “Dreams?” questioned one.

   “Zoidberg?” came the other, suspicion and wariness in the question. Hermes nodded vigourously, his head threatening to bob off his not-so-elegant Carribbean shoulders.

   “Let me tell you something: there is nothing quite so humiliating as having your wife scream out someone else’s name at an intimate moment, particularly when it’s a hideous stinking crab monster!” His voice went higher and his accent grew stronger, “Oh, husband, you’re bein’ foolish, not that that’s unusual. I can’t be ‘held responsible for my dreams.’

   The interrogators were no longer listening to his babble. “Look, tell us about the mutant.”


   “Yes, Planet Express has a mutant on staff. Tell me about him.”

   For a moment, Hermes was quiet, confusion written on his expressive face. “Him? Oh! The mutant. She’s alright, the best captain we’ve had in a good long while. We have an almost 65 percent success rate for deliveries now that she’s in command. That’s up from 24.”

   There was cautious astonishment in the voice now. “She? We had that the mutant was a male in his mid twenties.” Hushed, alarmed conversation bubbled around him, too fast for Hermes to follow in his addled state.

   “What about Philip Fry? He’s a member of the crew, isn’t he?”

   “Officially, yes.” Hermes shrugged.

   “Tell me about him.” Now they were finally getting somewhere.

   “He’s a lazy, shiftless, clumsy burden, but he’s from the twentieth century, so he’s not in the union.”   

   “Where is he now?”

   “In the sewers, with the mutants.” he replied easily, unconcerned about anything beyond LaBarbara’s continued faithfulness.

   The agents continued to question Hermes, ferreting out information on the crew. It turned out that the bureaucrat did not know their exact current location, but he did know the general area where the New New York mutants congregated. In his loose-lipped state, Conrad gave up the location without much effort from his questioners.

   Leaving Hermes to recover from the drugs, Andrew had a quick conversation with the doctor before heading back up to the bridge.

   “Not quite what we wanted, but we have enough to report to the president. He’s going to want to know that the delivery boy is not our mutant.” Andrew shook his head at his own blindness. “I should have guessed that it was the cyclops we should have been looking at all along.”

   “Maybe, but, in all fairness sir, you’ve seen the Planet Express personnel files. They don’t  exactly boast the traditional space crew. How could you pick one freak out from the others?”

   Andrew smiled ruefully, conceding the point. “Look after him, and get him back to the bridge when he can walk on his own.” As he left the bay, the man reflected on just how he was going to break the news to Nixon, and more importantly, how Nixon was going to react.

And miles to go before I sleep...

Urban Legend
« Reply #492 on: 01-29-2005 23:49 »

say what now

Bending Unit
« Reply #493 on: 01-29-2005 23:50 »
« Last Edit on: 01-30-2005 00:00 »

There is a lot to scream about in this chapter, so my review should probably be one long AHHHH. An AHHHH for that guy coming back at Leela and Fry (once again, I was scared to death), an AHHHH for Hermes revealing the location and stuff, and one big resounding AHHHH for the LaBarbara/Zoidberg thing. That is the scariest thing ever. Funny, but scary.

Oh, and also some good HAHAs for Zapp.

EDIT: Well, it turns out Venus already beat me to the AHHHHing!

DOUBLE EDIT: Oh, I forgot to add that Fry's freakout about the real cousin thing was really cute... I especially liked the Care Bear cousins line   :laff: .
Fry´s Lady

Bending Unit
« Reply #494 on: 01-29-2005 23:54 »

Lol nice fanfic Layla50  :)
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
« Reply #495 on: 01-30-2005 00:23 »

I'll just second all the "AAAHHHHHHHHHH!"-ing.

Very nice, as usual.
Futurama Nerd

« Reply #496 on: 01-30-2005 01:45 »

My god! Zoidberg and LaBarbera?! Now I can't sleep tonight. Visions, visions in my head! But, still great job Layla. You've done it again   :)

off-topic: If I ever do go to Nova Scotia, I'd definatly will go visit you! Give me a list of stalker you have and I'll see what I can do  ;)

Bending Unit
« Reply #497 on: 01-30-2005 04:09 »

Oh. Your. God. This is quite great... Nah, who am I kidding - THIS IS THE BEST... I can't wait to read more... But LaBarbra and Zoidberg?? I assume that this is only Hermes imagination, right?? (and your filthy one)... One question?? shouldn't it an 'interrogation expert' instead of 'expect'??

Bending Unit
« Reply #498 on: 01-30-2005 04:28 »

giving away the skeletons in hermes' cupboard, aren't you? i guess snow is good for the fanfiction, and here around too is snowing a lot
keep up this way!!

« Reply #499 on: 01-30-2005 09:44 »

Hmmm.  I've seen some, uh, fanart of LEELA and Zoidberg but never LaBarbara and Zoidberg.  I always wondered why Hermes seemed to hate him so much.  Guess that's as good an explanation as any.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #500 on: 01-30-2005 10:41 »

And the plot thickens...

Great stuff, as always, Layla. I loved the Fry/Leela stuff, of course (hmm...pee?  ;)). And then we had all the Zapp-isms (Zapp crying was perfect). And finally, that LaBarbera/Zoidberg thing...I'm scared to close my eyes. Eh, well...

*Closes Eyes*


Seriously though, can't wait for more.

Bending Unit
« Reply #501 on: 01-30-2005 13:06 »

ARRRGGGHHH indeed! That is one very unsettling image  :eek: Great stuff again Layla - I still can't wait to learn about Katey...

Minor point; at the end the agent tells the staff to take Hermes back to the bridge. Did you mean brig?

Urban Legend
« Reply #502 on: 01-30-2005 13:39 »

LaBarbara...and Zoidberg......?


Alright, now that I've got that out of the way, this part is way to long for me to properly critique right now.  Let's just say that the Fry/Leela scene was well done (who is this guy?  Uncle Fry?  Evil twin of Morris?) the Zapper was spot on as usual, and you seem to be a bit too familiar with Sodium Penta.  Ran afoul of the Border Patrol once, eh?

Bending Unit
« Reply #503 on: 01-30-2005 15:11 »
« Last Edit on: 01-30-2005 15:11 »

I'm going to be mentally scarred now. Bad images.

Anyways, that part was excellent! Except the whole LaBarbara/Zoidberg thing. I nearly choked on my Coke out of the hilarity and disgustingness. The great thing about part 43 was it was a plot thickener, but it had lots of jokes and things to make it interesting.
“Is this lipstick?” he asked, gingerly touching it. He turned a suspicious glance at her. “What exactly have you been doing in here anyway with that other guy and not me?”
That's my favorite line so far.
This part brings up a lot of questions. I wonder if the angry man is just a phantasm (see, I can use big words too!) or really an evil person from Fry's past. Hopefully my questions will be answered soon...*hint hint*   :D

Bending Unit
« Reply #504 on: 01-30-2005 20:35 »

I think I'll just not mention the whole "funny but digusting" thing, since everyone else already has...But yeah, it sure got the same reaction outta me, hehe...oof. o.o

I just love your Zapp! His sudden crying outburst was too funny. But you're also a master of suspense! I'm dying to know what's going on. It's too creepy. The whole water deal terrifies me, not to mention the voice *shudders*

Urban Legend
« Reply #505 on: 01-30-2005 21:08 »
« Last Edit on: 01-30-2005 21:08 »

Ah, what a happy time on PEEL.  All sorts of people are updating and it's just about all good.  Nothing much to say about this part that hasn't been said, unfortunately, but I’ll repeat some stuff!

Things I liked:

Zapp’s breakdown, followed by the quick stop after he got approval.

Fry and Leela in the cavern.  Just about as well written as it could possibly be. 
Fry could feel her heart pounding through her wet tank top, but he was too frightened to care.
What a perfect illustration of how scared Fry is.  Rubbing up with a wet-T-shirt-contest-style Leela, and he doesn’t even care.  :)
Memories came in fits and flashes, and they disturbed him in their vagueness. Katy was… scared? Crying? Or was that him? He didn’t know and so tried to gloss over it.
I liked this... because I’m guessing you’re foreshadowing, and if you are, you’re doing it well. 

One slightly negative thing:
“If you try anything, I’ll… I’ll tell Leela about the video and let her eviscerate you.” Amy threatened. “Or better still, emasculate you,”
We all know you're smart enough to pull off an alliterative threat, but is Amy?  I'm actually not sure.  Sometimes she's clever enough, and sometimes she's a ditsy pile of Martian lingo.  In the end, I think the line is worth it just to get Zapp's confused reaction.

You and your snow-days... lucky Layla...  they don’t exist anymore for me...  Keep writing! 

Starship Captain
« Reply #506 on: 01-30-2005 22:10 »

Labarbra and Zoidberg? This keeps getting better and better. Keep up the good work. Update soon!

« Reply #507 on: 01-30-2005 23:41 »

very good and long up date. am gonna assume the shadow dude is katy's dad which would mean some kind of trauma in fry's past.

also i think my guess about the noises is wrong the more i think about it.....but i look forward to the reply on it

Starship Captain
« Reply #508 on: 01-31-2005 14:23 »

Okay that was weird.
Do we have to think that Doctor Zoidberg and Labarbra dit it !!!! 
   :confused:   :nono:   :confused:

Btw Layla50 do you know how big you story is by now???
You are up to 145 pages long (in msword)that is big.
(You could make this a book and send it to Matt G. and D.X.C.,maybe they will turn it in a movie   :)   :D   :)  )(A men can dream, a men can dream)

Keep it up and good.

Hey, btw, the true loves kiss, I am glad that you like it.  Just can't wait to see what will hapen to Fry and Leela.  :flirt:

P.s. I live in Quebec so I got my share of snow too.



« Reply #509 on: 02-01-2005 21:20 »
« Last Edit on: 02-02-2005 00:00 »

I really like the way you try to give an inside look at all of our favorite characters. It makes, I think, for very enjoyable fiction. As far as the piece itself, , I really do like it as a piece of drama. The one thing that I would reccomend would be that you either go all out on the jokes that you add. I mean, they have great potential to be really very funny...but you have to commit to them. Don't just kind of timidly throw one in there. Have faith in the joke and let it do its thing. Aside from that, I really enjoyed the piece and look forward to more, hopefully   :)
Futurama Nerd

« Reply #510 on: 02-01-2005 23:51 »

Welcome to PEEL omega470   :)  Enjoy your stay here at Nerd World.

Where are you Layla? It's been like 4 days already. Well, I'm sure you have a good reason to why you havn't updated, but I hope you update soon.

« Reply #511 on: 02-02-2005 15:24 »

Fic...fab...Rachel..need update for...fic reading!
*procedes to go utterly insane*
Wheeeeeeerrrrrreeee aaaaaarrrrreee yooouuuuu?

« Reply #512 on: 02-02-2005 16:34 »
« Last Edit on: 02-02-2005 16:34 »

man talk about working under pressure every one wants you to post the next part........well i hope you didn't rush the writing cause could affect.......well am not sure what but something.

say what now

Bending Unit
« Reply #513 on: 02-02-2005 16:58 »

Layla, you got us on our knees, Layla, we're begging darling please!

(She's probably making us wait and laughing maniacally at how pathetic we are and how she has so much power over us. Curse you, you master of suspense!).

P.S. We love you!

Bending Unit
« Reply #514 on: 02-02-2005 18:17 »

Oh, you guys are sweet, and demanding!
I know it's hard to believe, but I do have a life (not much of one, it's true) outside of my home. Now that all those snow days are distant memories, I've got concerts and projects and homework all over the place. So, unfortunately, I won't be able to update till the weekend.

say what now: It's nice to be loved. Power trips are fun, but as a Canadian, I cannot enjoy power without feeling guilty for not appeasing you.  :)

PJ:Heh heh, yeah. You've got it in one. I'll try not to mess anything up. I can't disappoint you now, can I?

Young_and_Angry, or should I call you Rachel? You made me laugh, thank you! I'm really trying to get things done, so I'll update as soon as I can.

Futurama Nerd: Ah, my dear bodyguard. Kindly do my homework and go to work for me and I'd be glad to update.  ;) It's nice to be missed!

omega470: Always great to meet new people here. This is on its way to becoming a meet and greet thread. Thank you so very much for all the kind words. I'm glad you're enjoying my writing. I'm wondering if you could clarify your comment a bit however. Maybe you could pick out a timid joke and explain how it could be done better? I'd appreciate it. Thanks!

NIC2001: No, you don't have to think that at all! In fact, I never wanted to imply any actual uh... interaction, between them. Just that perhaps LaBarbara found the good doctor intriguing. (I know, highly unlikely, thank goodness.) After all, she did choose Hermes over Barbados Slim... maybe she likes going down the ladder.
According to my MSWord, it's only 130, but we're probably using different fonts. I'm more likely to get a cease and desist order than to see this thing animated, but it is on its way to novelhood isn't it?

PJ again: You'll just have to wait and see won't you?

Philp_J_Fry: Wow! A positive response to LaBarbara and Dr.Z. You scare me.  ;)

JBERGES: It's a good time to be a geek. (Mmmm, chicken.) I'm glad you noticed the quick stop after the breakdown. I thought it would be fun. I'm sooo happy you liked the Fry and Leela interaction. It was a tricky scene. I love that you, wonderful author that you are, like the wet T-shirt scene. The point got across and that is so comforting to me.
I am indeed foreshadowing. Bwahahaha!
About the Amy line, I know I know. The emasculating bit just popped into my head and I couldn't help but like using both words. What makes it worse is that the words are fairly complex. Amy was definately having a smart moment.

I'll keep writing if you will!

AsaB: It amazes me how emotionally involved people are in this story. It's also immensely satisfying. I hope that I don't let you down at the end. And thank you for not mentioning the horrible image.  :)

Procyon: Sorry about the badness. I wasn't sure how freaky that would turn out. Hilarity and disgustingness... heehee I ought to use that as one of those quote things they put on book covers.

I'm glad I'm keeping you guessing and thank you for quoting your favorite line. (It makes me happy that you liked it!)

N-o-r: Wow, I'm getting good at making you wretch. I'm just trying to dilute the sugar with a big heaping bowl of Jamaican seafood chowder. Mmmmmmmm good! I have never run afoul of the border, and certainly never while carrying sardines... at least, I don't remember anything about that.

Ol' coot: I did indeed mean brig. Blast! Foiled again by the nefarious silent 'e'. Glad to have creeped you out, and gladder that you're still curious about Katy.

Gorky: Hey there! You have no idea how long I stared at the hmm... pee line. Too long. Glad you liked the Fry/Leela scene and of course, the Zapper. I'm starting to like writing him more. Sorry about the appalling thoughts I put into your brain.

Crash_7:Leela and Zoidberg?!!! Yikes! I figured it would be fun to give some sort of reason for all the hostility between them.

morbo_it: Enjoy the snow! And yep! The poor characters can't keep anything secret from me!

swidzi: Completely imagined, of course. I'm not that twisted! Thanks for correcting that typo and thanks for encouraging me!

Futurama Nerd, again: Thanks again for the support! (spsss... the stalker names can be found in this thread...)

Shippy Mandy: Thanks! and sorry!

Fry's Lady:Thanks alot!

say what now, again: I'm definately sensing a theme in the responses this time around.  ;) Clever with the HAHAs by the way, cracked me up! It really amuses me that the scariest thing I've ever written was a mildly suggestive joke.

Venus: Shoot... that's the third time this month you've gone and blown up. I'll get the mop....  :)

Yeesh, It takes me forever to respond to you guys. (And you're all worth the time!)


Bending Unit
« Reply #515 on: 02-02-2005 18:34 »

We're not demanding! I demand you stop saying that!

Besides, it's your fault anyways, feeding us with regular updates, then yanking it all away right as the plot gets all supenseful!

Eh, why am I complaining? Your story is great, and it's rare to find fanfics of this caliber that don't fall into those cliches. And if you do, the people don't update. ever. So we are very thankful.

After that very sucking up post (though I meant it), will you pretend the weekend's tommorrow?  :D
say what now

Bending Unit
« Reply #516 on: 02-02-2005 18:43 »
« Last Edit on: 02-02-2005 18:43 »

*whine* The WEEKend?! [Zoidberg]Awwwwwwwwww.[/Zoidberg]

Well. Your little reply thing made me laugh. It is amusing that the mildy suggestive joke turns out to disturb people the most (though while I had to cover my wide-open grinning mouth while reading that, I still think the voice thing was more disturbing). Sighsigh. I'll wait like a good girl!

Procyon, your demanding thing really made me laugh... thank God I'd just swallowed my Pepsi before reading that...

EDIT-O: And this is my post that will make me a Bending Unit. I'll never be a Delivery Boy again *cries hysterically*.
Futurama Nerd

« Reply #517 on: 02-03-2005 02:33 »

Anything for you oh master, as long as it isn't math homework, I'm not so good with math   :p  Your welcome for the support, you are doing such a great job it's hard not too.   :)
You have a lot of stalkers, I'd have to fly around the world. You better pay for tha air fair  :p

Congrats to say what now on becoming a Bending Unit. You can always start a new acount and become a delivery boy again...

Bending Unit
« Reply #518 on: 02-03-2005 05:43 »
« Last Edit on: 02-03-2005 05:43 »

Yay... Layla is alive...we will wait till the weekend we will * swidzi thinks about hypnosis and other tehniques that will 'convince' Layla it's weekend already*

Nah, I really can wait (since I'm having an exam session right now) but will the next update be long enough to please both us (and by us I mean ME) shippers and those who wait for homour??

(please don't Nixon hurt anyone, please??   :D   :D )

EDIT: 'Alright!!! I'm a delivery boy!!! I'm filing in for your place say what now...

Delivery Boy
« Reply #519 on: 02-03-2005 11:04 »

Thursday, 11:05 am. Is it the weekend yet?
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