the great simpsons quote thread..

[Reply #80 on:]

 

Originally posted by M. Proctor:
Okay when I say hello mr thompson, you say hello. Hello mr Thompson.
........
Okay let's try again. Hello mr thompson.
........

and so on

I think he's talking to you...

/me shakes his groove thing.


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"Why are you all still alive? Oh, yeah... it's only Tuesday."

[Reply #81 on:]

Apu: "There it is, the worlds first convenient store!"
Points to store at top of mountain.
Homer: "This isn't very convenient."

Head of Kwik E Mart: "Approach, my sons. You may ask me three questions."
Apu: "Good, because all I need is one..."
Homer: "Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?"
HoKEM: "Yes."
Homer: "Really?"
HoKEML: "Yes."
Homer: "You!?"
HoKEM: "Yes, I hope this has been enlightening for you."
Apu: "But..."
HoKEM: "Thank you, come again."

James Woods: "Yeah, okay lets do it again, hey! get back here! Okay, now you're you i'm me."
Jimbo: "I'm, me?"
James Woods: "Hey, don't jerk me around, kid."

[Reply #82 on:]

Kent: Tonight on ``Eye on Springfield'', we meet a man who's been hiccupping for 45 years!
Man:  [hic!]  Kill me!  [hic] Kill me!

Homer: Someday you'll thank me for this, son.
Bart:  Not bloody likely.

Homer: Mmm... Soylent Green.

Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie

[Reply #83 on:]

Must...remove...my..Brestplat e ,mmmm baybe later.

[Reply #84 on:]

"Now, over the years, a newsman learns a number of things that, for one reason or another, he just cannot report. It doesn't seem to matter now, so......the following people are gay...."

[Reply #85 on:]

 

Originally posted by darthgy:
homer: i thought the cop was a prostitute!

LOL

  that was funny

[Reply #86 on:]

lou: Can i hold the gun to the side cheif, it look's so cool

wiggum: Whatever you want, birthday boy..

[Reply #87 on:]

grampa: you can't just change your name homer, the legacy of the simpson name was passed down from my father from his  fathers father and his father traded a mule for it, and that mule whent on to win spring break...

(homer,marge,bart and lisa look blankly at him)

[Reply #88 on:]

Bleeding gums Murphy:"The blues is'nt about feeling better, It's about making other people feel worse and making a few bucks while you're at it"

In 22 shot films about Springfield Nelson says"Ha Ha" to a large man in a car & the man replies"Do you find something comical about my appearance when I am driving an automabile?"

[Reply #89 on:]

 

Originally posted by Otis P Jivefunk:
In 22 short films about Springfield Nelson says"Ha Ha" to a large man in a car & the man replies"Do you find something comical about my appearance when I am driving an automabile?"

Everybody needs a vehicle.  This was the largest one I could afford.  Should I therefore be made fun of?
I guess . . .
How would you like it if someone laughed at your misfortune?  Let's find out.  :: Pulls down Nelson's pants::  Now march!  Look everybody!  It's that boy, who laughs at people.  Let's laugh at him!
Haha!
Wave to the people!  Blow them kisses!

[Reply #90 on:]

Willie, the Groundskeeper: "Me retiremen' grees'!!"

Willie: (seeing Homer and Bart in the schools cafeteria) "Hey, who are you?"
Homer: (In an assummed Scottish accent) "Why, where the new exchange students from Scotland."
Willie: "No kidding, I'm from Scotland too. Where in Scotland?"
Homer: "Err..North..Kilttown..?"
Willie: "You don't say. I'm from North Kilttown too. Do you know Shamus McAngus (?)."
Homer: "Yes, he....Wait a minute there is no McAngus in North Kilttown, why you're not even from Scotland!!"

[Reply #91 on:]

I know this isn't quite right, but here goes...

Bank Loan Guy (after telling Homer they can't lend him anything): It also says here that at one time, you held a dog by the back legs, and pushed him around the room like a vaccuum cleaner.
Homer: But that was in the third grade!
BLG: Yes, well, it all goes on your permanent record.

and another one...

Bart: Why do we have to have nice shoes for church? Jesus wore sandals.
Homer: Maybe if he'd had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him.

[Reply #92 on:]

Nelson says "I'll get you after school simpson"...Bart stands still then Princible Skinner says"run along Bart, he'll get you after school, theres learning to be done".

[Reply #93 on:]

Homer: (As King Solomon) "The pie shall be split in two, and each man shall receive....death!!!" (The soldiers haul Carl and Lenny out) "I'll eat the pie."

[Reply #94 on:]

Mmm . . . sacrilicious . . .

[Reply #95 on:]

Ooh, floor pie.

[Reply #96 on:]

barney: what kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for?! (gasp) someone spilled beer in this ashtray! (slurp)

[Reply #97 on:]

Scientist: Sir, how would you like to get higher than you've ever been in your life?
Barney: Be an astronaut?  Sure!

Scientist: Now of course only one of you will be chosen to go into space. So the next few weeks will be a grueling series of tests to determine which one of you is most qualified.
Assistant: Oh, and Mr. Gumble: for the duration of the training there will be no more beer.
Barney: What?  Three whole weeks with only wine?  I'll go crazy!

Deep Space Homer

[Reply #98 on:]

(Smithers and Burns tries to flle Bart and Grampa Simpson in a speedboat)
Smithers: "They're gaining un us, Sir. We have to jettison some weight."
(Burns just looks at him)
Smithers: "It's been an honour serving you, Sir"
(Smithers jumps overboard)

[Reply #99 on:]

"Tramapoline! Trambopoline!"

[Reply #100 on:]

hahaha, trambopoline...

Homer: So what's your problem?
Lisa: Mr Bergstrom left for Capitol City and I'll never, ever see him again.
Homer: Uh-huh...
Lisa: I knew you wouldn't understand.
Homer: Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand...

[Reply #101 on:]

Old man Simpson got rid of the trampoline!
Let's jump on his car instead!

[Reply #102 on:]

Haha, I got me a bed!

[Reply #103 on:]

I think I wet my bed . . .

[Reply #104 on:]

"Somebody ordered the London Symphony Orchestra. Come on, people. Someone did, probably while high. Supress Hill, I'm looking in your direction."

[Reply #105 on:]

That's Cypress Hill.

Continuing the pot references...

"Man, that is FLAGRANT false advertising."-- Otto Mann, upon leaving "Stoner's Pot Palace".

[Reply #106 on:]

Hi, Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins
Homer Simpson, smiling politely

[Reply #107 on:]

Bart & Lisa are fighting.
Homer : Bart, Lisa stop fighting!
Lisa : We're fighting over who loves you the most.
Homer : Carry on then
Bart : You love him most!
Lisa : No you love him most!

[Reply #108 on:]

Lisa: Every dad thinks that their kids are the most beautiful in the world.
Homer: Dad, am I beautiful?
Abe: No, you're uglier than a mule's butt!

Fixed smiley - ":" + "D" =   

[Reply #109 on:]

Simpson, Homer Simpson
He's the greatest guy in history
From the town of Springfield
He's about to hit a chestnut tree

[Reply #110 on:]

Doh

[Reply #111 on:]

Bart:  Just remember when you see my report card, they've got this whole new grading system this year. It now goes D-B-A-C.

Homer: Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
   Radio: Seventeen.
   Homer: D'oh!
   Radio: Thirty-two.
   Homer: D'oh!
   Radio: Five.
   Homer: D'oh!
   Radio: Eight.
   Homer: Woo-hoo!
   Radio: Forty-seven.
   Homer: D'oh!

Kamp Krusty
   

[Reply #112 on:]

Edna: Swollow that applesauce and kiss me!
Skinner: I allredy did. I did it when you talked.

[Reply #113 on:]

Put it all on 42!  I've got a feeling about that number!
Sir, the board only goes up to 28.
Put it all on 28!  I've got a feeling about that number!

[Reply #114 on:]

Sun goes up, sun goes down, sun goes up, sun goes Doh (sun smashes on the ground)

[Reply #115 on:]

Why, you little....

[Reply #116 on:]

Ack, ack, ack . . .

[Reply #117 on:]

Skinner: "I know you can read my mind Bart Simpson. If I ever get proof that you skipped school your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me, I think words I would never utter in public."
Homer: "I know you can read my mind too, son. miav-miav-miav-miav-miav-miav-miav-miav-miav-miav-miav-miav-miav-"

[Reply #118 on:]

Tester: this cant be right, this man has a 104% body fat.
 No Eating in the tank.
Homer: Go to Hell

[Reply #119 on:]

HOMER: with ten thousand dollars we could be millionaires. we could buy all sorts of usefull things, Like,,,Love