the great simpsons quote thread..

[Reply #40 on:]

Marge: Homer you think of what we doing is wrong?
Homer: I don't think anything I did is wrong.

Homer: looks like god made you out of my sexiest rib

Sideshow Mel: Dear lord, look at that blimp, it's hanging from a ballon.
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I want to be Bender's biggest fan!

 

[Reply #41 on:]

Not the sky!  That's where clouds live!

[Reply #42 on:]

Oh, DT, where are you in our hour of need?

"Ow... my brains..."

"To Homer! And to Sgt. Pepper, who's growing out the back of youre neck!"

"Well, if it isn't my old friend Mr. McGreg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!"

[Reply #43 on:]

I'm not that great on Simpsons quotes... *hangs his head in shame*

[Reply #44 on:]

Lisa: The city of Washington was built on a stagnant swamp some 200 years ago, and very little has changed.  It stank then, and it stinks now.

[Reply #45 on:]

Spinoffs!  Is there any word more thrilling to the human soul?  Hi, I'm Troy McClure.  You might remember me from such spinoffs as [sOmething] and The Son of Sanford and Son.

Daddy, these rubber pants are hot!
Wear them until you learn, son.

My name is Daddy.  Charles Daddy.
Big Daddy!  What hae you done with my son?
Oh, the boy is fine.  I taught him to play the spoons.

I thought I heard some kind of party in the background.  Are there any parties today, Skinny boy?
New Orleans wasn't much of a party town, but I think there was a small celebration, Mardis-something.

He's gradually getting away, cheif.

Tell her her rump's as big as the queen's, and twice as fragrant!

Unfortunately, one family member didn't want that chance and refused to participate, but with a little creative casting, you won't know the difference.

I'm Lisa cheerleader blonde and stunning, sophomore prom queen 5 years running.

[Reply #46 on:]

"Lord a'mercy, how I wish I wasn't so blasted fat."

"Look, Big Daddy! It's regular daddy!"

"I ga-ron-tee!"
"Will you stop saying that?"

"Chief Wiggum PI will return... right now."

[Reply #47 on:]

Compu-Global Hyper-Mega Net

[Reply #48 on:]

I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such films as "today we kill tomorrow we die" and "gladys the groovy mule". But today you'll see me in my greatest role - your video tour guide to Rancho Relaxo!

[Reply #49 on:]

McBain: Ja, thank you, ja, that's nice.  Let's say hello to my music guy, Skoey. That is some outfit, Skoey. It makes you look like a homosexual.
Audience boos
Whoa, maybe you all are homosexuals too!

Cape Feare
     

[Reply #50 on:]

"I can't live the button-down life like you, Marge. I want it all! The terrifying highs! The dizzying lows! The creamy middles! Sure, I may offend some of the blue noses with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called city fathers, who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

[Reply #51 on:]

Inspired by the most logical race in the galaxy, the Vulcans, mating will be confined to once every seven years.  For some of you this will mean much much less.  For some of us that will mean much much more.

[Reply #52 on:]

Homer: There ones was a man from Kentucky......Doh

in "Deep space Homer"

[Reply #53 on:]

Homer: "Snuh."

[Reply #54 on:]

Grandpa Simpson: "´My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star!"

No. 1: "To night we commemorate the 1500th anniversary of our glorius society's foundation. An because of the momentous event we're having ribs!"

The Stonecutters:
Who controls the British crown ?
Who keeps the metric system down ?
We do! We do!
Who keeps Atlantis of the maps ?
Who keeps the martians under wraps ?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car ?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cale fists (?) of their might ?
Who rigs every Oscar night ?
We do! We dooooooo!

And great to see Kif (or one of his relatives) as member of the Stonecutters.

[Reply #55 on:]

Bart:  Akira, my good man, I'd like two sharks, an octopus and an eel.
Akira: Very good.
Bart:  Do you have any giant squid? The kind that drags men to their deaths?
Akira: Not today.

One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

[Reply #56 on:]

Me fail English?  That's unpossible!

[Reply #57 on:]

Otto: "Zeppelin Rules!!"

Kent Brockman: "Homer that hat had been with this station for 25 years, it only had 1 more week 'till retirement."

Parole Board member: "But didn't you make thise lisence plate reading: DIE BART, DIE" (American pronouciation)
Sideshow Bob: "No, no, it's german: "Die Bart, die". (German pronouciation)
Parole Board: "Oh, I see. Well nobody who speaks german can be evil."

[Reply #58 on:]

Um . . . "Die Bart, Die" was tattooed on his chest

[Reply #59 on:]

"What the hell was that?"

[Reply #60 on:]

What's wrong with me?
I think you're crazy.
I want a second opinion!
You're also lazy.

[Reply #61 on:]

Burns: Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season.  And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya.
Smithers: whispers to him
Burns: Hmm? What?  Oh, and by that I mean, of course, it's time for the "Worker of the Week Award".  I can't believe we've overlooked this week's winner for so very, very long.  We simply could not function without his tireless efforts.  So, a round of applause for...this inanimate carbon rod!

Deep Space Homer

[Reply #62 on:]

homer: i thought the cop was a prostitute!

homer: i am evil homer, i am evil homer *dances around dressed like a devil with two shakers*

grandpa simpson in a "etablisement":
does your father know that you are working here?
bart: yes, it was his idea.
grandpa simpson: in that case i take a whiskey sour.

[Reply #63 on:]

I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-A to chimpanzee.
Oh you'll never make a monkey out of me.
Oh my god, I was wrong,
It was Earth all along.
Oh you finally made a monkey,
Yes we finally made a monkey,
Oh you finally made a monkey out of me!
I love you, Dr. Zaius!

Thank you, thank you, it's great to be back.  I'd just like to say, I couldn't have done it without the help of a special lady, my always outrageous fiancee, Selma.  Take a bow, Sugarbeet!
Oh, well, uh . . .
Down in front!

[Reply #64 on:]

Homer: Say, what's going on?
Hank: I'm having a little trouble with the government.
Homer: Oh, those jerks always walking over the small businessman. Don't get me started about the government.

You Only Move Twice

[Reply #65 on:]

**Homer's impression of a sperm**

[Reply #66 on:]

Oh another personal favourite:
"But who will police the police?"
"*shrugs* I dunno... Coastguard??"

[Reply #67 on:]

"The general public sees you as something of an... ogre, sir."
"I ought to club them and eat their bones!"

[Reply #68 on:]

"I am holding still...I am squirming!"

" I went into the Mc donalds in shelbyville on friday night."
"the Mc what??"
"McDonalds resturant. i'd never heard of it either, but they have over 2000 locations in this state alone."
"must have sprung up overnight."
"You know the funniest thing, though? It's the litlle differecnces."
"example."
"well, at Mcdonalds, you can buy a Krusty burger with cheese, right, but they don't call it a Krusty burger with cheese."
"Get out... what do they call it?"
"its called a quarter pounder with cheese."
"quarter pounder with cheese? I can see the cheese . . . well, do they have Krusty partially gellatinated non dairy beverages?"
"yeah. they call em shakes."
"shakes. you don't know what you're getting."

[Reply #69 on:]

I could share with you all up to 170 blackboard gags. I won't, though, just some favourites.
I am not a dentist.
I will return the seeing-eye dog.
I will not say 'Springfield' just to get applause.
I will not hang donuts on my person.
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding.
A trained ape could not teach gym.
I will not strut around like I own the place.
It does not suck to be you.

[Reply #70 on:]

I will not screw with the couch gag
I will not buy a presidential pardon
I'm so tired, so very very tired
This is mot a clue . . . or is it?

[Reply #71 on:]

"The President did it" is not an excuse.
I do not have diplomatic immunity.
I am not a lean mean spitting machine
My butt does not deserve a website
I cannot absolve sins
Loose teeth don't need my help
I have neither been there nor done that
I will not file frivolous lawsuits
I was not touched "there" by an angel

[Reply #72 on:]

Marge: "Don't forget to pick up Bart!"
Homer: "I'm on my way! What did you say marge? Pick a bar? What the hell is that?"
TV: "And Bart is now leaving the field! (Fans chanting) BART BART BART!"
Santas little Helper: Bart! Bart! Bart!
Maggie: (Burping) Bart!
Homer: I can't think with all this noise!

[Reply #73 on:]

"Trab pu kcip! Trab pu kcip!"

[Reply #74 on:]

Homer: "Marge, not in front of the hippies."

Dr. Hibbert: "Well, I couldn't solve this mystery. Can you?" (Points exactly at the camera.)
(Turns out he is actually pointing at Chief Wiggum)
Wiggum: "Yeah, I'll give it a shot.I mean, you know, it's my job, right?"

[Reply #75 on:]

Bart: Oy thanks nice lady, my voice is crazy with spraying already,oy I feel so much better, mister madical science type person

Homer: Uh, so let's have a conversation. I think we'll find we have very little in common.
Mindy: Can't talk, eating.
Homer: Hey my favourite, a raspberry swirl with a double glaze.
Mindy: Double glaze *drools*
Homer: D'oh, so we have one thing in common. But you know what I hate? Drinking beer and watching tv.
Mindy: Not me, that's my idea of heaven.
Homer: D'oh! me too.
Mindy: Really@ I can see I'm going to love working with you, Well gotta go, I wanna sneak in a quick nap before lunch.
Homer: Foul temptress. I'll bet she thinks ziggy's gotta too preachy too!

Think unsexy thoughts think unsexy thoughts.

Leeny: Homer what's wrong?
Carl: Yeah you never seen a naked chick riding a clam before?

Bart: I'm a nerd
Milhouse: So am I!

Free mouthwash!, Free Shampoo!, Free Shower curtain!

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[Reply #76 on:]

Who wets whose bed now, Milhouse?

[Reply #77 on:]

"Now look sad, and say 'D'oh'..."

[Reply #78 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nixorbo:
Um . . . "Die Bart, Die" was tattooed on his chest

Ya win some, Ya loose soem.


 

Posted by Nixorbo:
I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-A to chimpanzee.
Oh you'll never make a monkey out of me.
Oh my god, I was wrong,
It was Earth all along.
Oh you finally made a monkey,
Yes we finally made a monkey,
Oh you finally made a monkey out of me!

I love you, Dr. Zaius!

Monkey Choir:
"Dr Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaaius
hmmmm, dr. Zaius."
Single Hip-Hop Monkey: "Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius

[Reply #79 on:]

Okay when I say hello mr thompson, you say hello. Hello mr Thompson.
........
Okay let's try again. Hello mr thompson.
........

and so on