Pitt Clemens guide to the common Zombie.
What is a Zombie?"Zombie" is a generic term derived from a voodoo refrence for re-animated dead. Zombies come in all shapes and sizes, but all usually carry these two qualifications:
-Undead
-Hungry
Some are brought back to life by large doses of a specialized radiation, some by viruses, and others are forced back into the realm of the living due to a lack of housing in the afterlife. Whatever the reason this is sure: None can be reasoned with.
How can I recognize a zombie?To begin with, it is rare that you will ever recognize zombie as singular thing. It is almost unheard-of that a zombie will be alone. Zombies will be in large numbers, massing toward living things in order to consume them. While some have a penchant only for human brains, most will consume any living flesh they can get to. Zombies are usualy slow-moving human-forms with chunks of rotting flesh, open wounds, continually chomping jaws and characterized by dull-wittedness.
What to do if you see a zombieFirst: Don't panic. You have one advantage the zombie doesn't have: You are smarter than it is. As long as you are focused and aware you have a chance to survive.
Second: It is You or the zombie. One of you will be destroyed in the next minute or so. Whoever the zombie may have been: a relative, friend or even a lover-it is irrelivent. It is going to kill you if you don't destroy it first.
Third: Seek other humans. Abandon all Prejudices and classisms and join into an-inter-reliant team to combat zombies.
How to fight a ZombieIf the zombie is alone (only ALMOST-unheard of), just increase your pace, and walk toward the most open, zombie-free area available. The zombie you just outran is slow, and will therefore take some time to catch up with you. Wherever you end up, you must immediately find an arsenal with which to fight the zombie(s).
Do not attempt hand to hand combat. The zombie has teeth, as well as the not-uncommon jutting bone fragment. These may result in slight cuts and abrasions which cannot be treated, but will inevitably infect you and turn YOU into one of THEM! Any contact with zombie skin, flesh or garments wheather orally or via the mucus membrane will have the same results. Almost any weapon optimum at three feet can be effective on a (single) zombie.
Bludgeons and long blades should be used to take out the zombies appendages, before dealing a final slaying blow to the zombie's Achilles heel: The head. When using a bludgeon or blade be aware that the weapon you are weilding is to be regarded as a biohazard. Firearms are effective only when emphasis is on accuracy and headshots. Incendiaries and explosives are extremely effective in combatting zombies at long range. Grenade and Gasoline trap attacks can take out multipule zombies, but may result in secondary casualties to human combatants. Use with caution. It is very important you avoid low-voltage electrical weapons such as tazers, they have no effect on zombies, and the only electrical pulse that could have any effect on them are upwards of 500V.
In the unfortunate, but sadly, likely event that you are over-run by zombies, you have no choice but fortification. In this event you must hold up inside and barricade the sturdiest available structure.
Barricades such as furniture and appliances will be effective for only so long before the zombie horde breaks it's way in. For this reason, it is advised you avoid traditional houses and choose concrete structures or buildings that are already built from the fortification concept, such as police departments, prisons, court-houses or millitary installations many of these will also provide needed weapons. If there is an installation that matches this description in the immediate area, and you are not in dire need of fortification at your current location, it is strongly reccomended that you arm up with supplies and an arsenal and attempt to re-locate there.
While you are fortified you must tend to five vital aspects of fortification which you can remember with the acronym: POWER.
P: PERIMETER
Always maintain a Perimeter, a firm wall between you and the zombies.
O: OBSERVATION.
Survey the perimeter constantly, make sure there are no weaknesses or inlets for the Zombie Mass. Also observe your fellow fortifiers, for they too may become zombies.
W:WEAPONS
Maintain a constant and varied arsenal, whether improvised or intended to combat the zombies, should the worst come to pass.
E:ESCAPE
There should be a route which you can take and zombies can't, such as a trap-door or rope-climb that can bring you either out of the shelter or to an inaccessable perimeter.
R:RATIONS
Food and water from an un-tainted source will be vital to survival until help arrives.
Types of zombiesThere are several types of zombies you should be famillair with if you are to survive the appocalypse.
THE DOMESTIC ZOMBIE
This is the zombie cheifly referred to in this guide. Slow moving, unintelligant, dangerous alone lethal in numbers. use extreme caution
ANGRY ZOMBIE
This zombie is characterized by a direct link with evil, demonic or generally il-manerred supernatural forces. They are more intelligant than the Domestic Zombie, but usually have a short-lifespan and an effective area limmited to it's home focus of pure evil. Avoid it and it's stomping ground.
ATHLETIC ZOMBIE
Faster and meaner than the domestic type the athletic zombie will come rushing at you headlong. Use automotive vehichles to outrun them.
NRA ZOMBIE
This zombie has figured out that a gun can work both ways. Still not too bright, can be led to shoot other zombies, but nevertheless, try to keep out of shooting distance.
ROBO-ZOMBIE
In the future when zombies evolve past the oral phase they will simply collect all living minds into one undead-collective. Certain limits to rehabillitating the robo-zombie have been achieved, but largeley they remain hostile, intent on consiuming more life forms, and technologically advancing the zombie collective. Hope that your super-weapons will be enough.
STACY
A Stacy is a particular breed of zombie, induced when a teenage girl is wholely and totally consumed by the feeling of love. When this love over-powers the girl she will die, but the love's strength will bring her back to life, and hungry to express the love through consuming the nearest victim. Stacies are slow-moving as the domestic zombie, but cannot be killed save for complete dismemberment into upwards of 250 pieces. This is known as "repeat killing." A crack team of forces as well as hand-held chainsaws have been made available to suit this need. Stacies are easy to spot because the victim will experience Near-death happiness for a week before expiring. Upon reanimation, deal with a Stacy accoridingly.
Thank you for reading this guide, and wish this day to be the best it can be in this God-forsaken, hellstorm armageddon.