Make Your Own Bad Sequel!

[:]

Every now and then a movie comes along that not only touches our hearts but opens our minds...and then three or more years later a crappy, almost plot-less, special effect and second-rate actor filled sequel to it is released.
But what if we were in charge of making a bad sequel for a good movie? Post your bad sequels here. In the immortal words of Lewis Black: "If I'm going to be in that much pain, I'm going to be the one causing it!"

Schindler's List II: Payback
A time-travelling rabbi travels back to WWII where he finds himself at a German concentration camp. He equips his fellow Jews with robotic exoskeletons and laser weapons to destroy the nazis. A full-on war between the Jews and the Germans ensues and in the end the Jews win. They become drunk on their power and start destroying German cities in revenge. They finally find Hitler and slay him. They continue their rampage and after accidentily killing a little girl, realize that doing this makes them no better than he nazis. They give their suits up and five of them (the stars of the movie who were related to the time-travelling rabbi) band together to make sure the world stays as peacerful as possible. You can tell by the ending there's going to be another sequel.

Gremlins vs. Critters
A new batch of evil Gremlins tries to take over the town from the original movie. Meanwhile, a meteor filled with Critters wrecks in a confield in the town. The Critters also plan on taking over. Huge war-like scenes ensue as the two groups cause chaos in the town. In the end Gizmo manages to save the town with his wits. Unfortunately, one gremlin and two critters have survived.

[#1 :]

Titanic 2: With a vengence
 The survivors of the Titanic disaster are rewarded with a free ocean cruise by the white star line who lost so much money paying reperations to the families of the dead that they couldn't afford to pay anything to the survivors. However the dead are mighty pissed about their demise and launch a full scale attack on the Survivor Cruise Ship (the first white star ship to sail after the sinking) The Survivors, headed by Orlando Bloom, James Marsters, and Britney Murphy must band together to fight the zombie ghosts to save their ship from meeting the same fate as the Titanic. They soon discover that the zombies are taking orders from a small girl (played by Dakota Fanning) this child was not on the titanic nor did she lose anyone in the disaster, her connection to the zombies is never fully explained. but after a violent and exciting exorcism the girl turns good and the zombies turn to ash never to be seen again. At least until the next sequel, Titanic: Third Times A Charm

[#2 :]

They Flew to Basra: Cheap British film telling how the Royal Marines captured Basra, filmed mostly in swindon.

The Prequel: 7 American's bring down Baghdad, compete with super 3D Laser effects and exploding Dictators.

[#3 :]

Silence of the Sheep: Silence of the lambs II: The lambs are no longer cute and cuddly...
The second in the epic trilogy.
If you thought silencing the lambs was hard think again. Now they're back and they've grown into sheep....... Don't count sheep in your sleep. Don't go to New Zealand and above all don't mess with them, cos now there reaqlly mad and looking for revenge....

[#4 :]

Total Recall 2
Arnie wakes up in the real world again and finds out the first movie was a dream, goes about his normal life while wife divorces him for killing her in the virtual world and running off with that pixellated prostitute. In a move noone understands Arnie comes to the conclusion that this is a dream from falling asleep in the real world of the first movie, then becomes unsure wether this is the real world or wether mars was the real world and this real world is a dream, or wether the Mars bit was a dream and this is a dream as well while the real world is left far behind, he becomes unable to cope with all the bullshit and is about to kill himself when Jessie Ventura turns up and convinces him of the value of life wether it be real or in a dream, he runs for Governor of California with Ventura's assisstance but upon winning starts to think maybe he really did kill himself and this is the afterlife, craziness ensues...

[#5 :]

Gigli 2
The MPAA execs shoot themselves when the idea is pitched.

[#6 :]

Matrix: Reloaded
Oh, wait...

Armageddon II: Retun of the Comet

Signs 2
The aliens are back, and this time, they brought ponchos.

Apollo 14
"Huston, we don't have a problem..."

Die Hard 4
John McClaine is in the wrong place at the wrong time...somebody starts shooting...he kills the bad guy...says "Yip-i-kai-ay, mother fucker"...the end credits roll to "Let It Snow".

Jurassic Park 4
As posted at IMDB.com
Anyways, i think the plot about destroying the island is great. heres another factor everyones missed: HIPPIES. those stupid hippies they are always pro-life and crap like that. what if there was a group of pro-life, hippie terrorists on the island trying to stop the extermination team and the DNA team. and they have signs and all of that junk, and they plant bombs in both teams equipment n stuff, and finally some big dinosaur (T-Rex, spino, whatever) gets fed up and eats them all. Thus wipeing out a vast number of hippies.

[#7 :]

T4: Short Circuit
A video game system designed by the robot army from T3 becmes a hit with the public and flies off the shelves. It's called the Painstation and wherever you are hurton the game you get shocked in real life by wearing a suit that hooks up to the PSN. Little do the gamers realize the electromagnetic shocks used to add realism to the games are subconsciously programming their minds to worship electronics. It's up to a friendly robot (sorry no Arnie-just the robot from Short Curcuit) to stop the madness. To bad a rival robot (Steve Buscemi) has been sent out to destroy him before he brings down Painstation.

Air Bud: A Dog's Day
Air Bud's taken up a whole new sport in this new movie (directed by Martin Scorsese) and it involves blackmail, murder, embezzlement, and seduction. Air Bud becomes a drug smuggler for the mafia and quickly moves up the criminal ladder. He seduces an Italian beauty, takes on the Don (Ray Liotta), blackmails an undercover detective (Christopher Walken), blows up the local police department, runs from the law, and gets sky high.

[#8 :]

Terminator 4 : Who's side are you on this time?!?!

[#9 :]

Star Wars Episode VII: Return of the MacDonalds Happy Meal Tie-in

[#10 :]

Scary Movie 5

Following the success of the 4th, every movie villian ever created is pitted against one another. Last one standing will feature in a lameass Scary Movie 6, already in progress. They plan to stick the unnamed winner in amd release it after Scary Movie 5 leaves theaters.

Winnie the Pooh: We Hate You Too

The beloved bear commits suicide and the movie centers around all the good times they had and eventually leads in a search to find the bear's family. During this, they realize that Tigger is not the only one without an actual family. None of them have one! They all decide to commit suicide. Will Christopher Robin save them or will he finally realize he has a mental disorder and get the help he needs?

Short Circuit 3

Though this movie takes place almost 20 years from the last one, it will come in as if we just left yesterday. After being declared a citizen of the U.S. Johnny notices that humans and robots are somewhat incompatible as mates and sets off to recreate the event that made him 'human.' He succeeds, but accidently gives 'life' to all existing robots. These newly 'living' robots decide to enslave humanity. Now Johnny must rectify his mistake and discovers in doing so, he may shut down permanently. Does he love humans enough to risk his own life?

(Note I made this sound stupid and interesting at the same time   )
 

[#11 :]

 

Originally posted by Lurrr:
Star Wars Episode VII: Return of the MacDonalds Happy Meal Tie-in

How about...

Star Wars episode VIII: The phantom restroom    

Luke has to pee... but... at what cost???

[#12 :]

Hah hah hah, dat iz fonny.

[#13 :]

K9-widow maker

a dog goes round and eats peoples husbands

not sequal but funny none the less

[#14 :]

Coming To Disney DVD in 2007-

Finding Nemo 2!
Nemo is captured.. Again!
And learns Friendship is fun!
Marlin chases after Nemo... Again!
And learns that you should never give up!
With 4585,000,000,000 new songs!
 

[#15 :]

Hard Core Logo 2: The Lounge Act Years.

[#16 :]

 

Originally posted by HawkingHole4001:
Not VERY funny, but chuckle-worthy, right?

Fucking newbies, shut your hole, Hole.

[#17 :]

 

Originally posted by Britz:
 Fucking newbies, shut your hole, Hole.

All right, all "bad" sequels (un)-deleted.

[#18 :]

[Australian Philosophers from Monty Python] Yeah!, 'ya pouf![/Australian Philosophers]

Please don't hurt me Britz. I meant as a harmless Britain to Australian exchange of a joke. Take the piss out of us Pom's if you feel like it.

[#19 :]

 

Originally posted by Britz:
 Fucking newbies, shut your hole, Hole.

No new-member bashing.

Thanks,

The management.

[#20 :]

Oh if we leave you in charge we'll have just one repeat of the Toad incident after another.

.... Wait a second, you are in charge, damnit!

And alright Pommie, but only cause I loved that sketch so much, heheh, making love in a canoe, it's so true.

[#21 :]

 

Originally posted by Britz:
 Fucking newbies, shut your hole, Hole.

    :laff:Haha!

Post 2600!

[#22 :]

Hannibal 10: Gum's of the liverspotted Shark.

Dr Lecter has escaped the Nursing home and hunts down the people who put him there, his enemys who are his Family. With hilarious consequences.

[#23 :]

JAWS 5:

Jaws is now invading the wavepool at Raging waters! It's up to 2 lifeguards to stop him! And then for no reason, the military come in to destroy Jaws. Then Jaws eats the entire U.S militay(He was hungry).

JAWS IS BACK! AND READY TO TAKE YOUR MONEY!

COMING SOON

[#24 :]

Friday the 13th part 11, Jason comes back to life, and goes on a murderous rampage, killing large amounts of teenagers in a violent and...
Oh hell, who am I kidding, it's probably already in production. 

[#25 :]

It's already out if you count "Freddy vs. Jason".

Brazil II
A movie about a man living in a colorful world where everyone is free to do as they wish. He dreams of a short black-haird woman and a chance to escape into a slightly more organized world where people respect the rules.
In the end he thinks he has escaped this hellish life of wildness but finds out it was all a dream.