Put your thumbs in the air like you just don't care (Movie Reviews)

[Reply #80 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nixon+Morbo=???:
 I dunno, Patrick Stewart was born for the role of Prof. X, and Wolverine wasn't half bad either.

True, and true.

 

Speaking of Ray Park in X-Men, did anyone else catch what I thought was a reference to Darth Maul?

Refresh my memory?

Oh, and TOP OF THE PAGE DANCE!

[This message has been edited by Moderator Kryten (edited 07-16-2001).]

[Reply #81 on:]

 

Originally posted by Kryten:
  Refresh my memory?

After Toad tossed Storm down the elevator chute, he grabbed the pole that was propping the elevator door open, and twirled it around, much like a previous character of his . . .

[Reply #82 on:]

of course i do remember! (it looks like i only remember it now because you mentioned it, damn different time-zones)
ray park is cool as toad, x-men was a great movie (i bought it on dvd), has anyone seen the spiderman-teaser-trailer? i don't know what to think about it. the idea of that giant spidersnet to catch the helicopter is a funny thing but spideys costume has such strange "glitter-net-stuff" (i don't know how i should call this)on it, you know spidey has a blue-red-costume and on it there is a spidernet and that spidernet looks so artificial! (i hope you get my point). i really hoping that the spiderman movie will be as good as the x-men movie. i remember that old spiderman movies from the 70's or 80's, what a crap. i think movies based on comic-books do often fail the magic of the comics.
by the way: preacher would make a hell of a movie!!!

[Reply #83 on:]

this is a short post on what you should not go see...
Evolution. VF and FJ have already given you reasons, and I went to go see it without much choice, but I'd like to give a few reasons on why you shouldn't waste 10 bucks.
well, I had a crap time right from the start, because I was at my beach house, and the age cutoff for the tickets was different, and I didn't know, plus she was a fat bitch, who obviously wasn't getting any.
It wasn't funny. all the jokes sucked.
It was a massive plug in for 'head and shoulders' shampoo (the shampoo saves the world from aliens)
so don't ignore it when everybody tells you its crap ( like my cousin who I saw it with) and save your money for drugs , god knows, It'll go to a better cause.

[Reply #84 on:]

I thought Evolution was good. Then again I liked Galaxy Quest. Some Evo's jokes were a bit silly but it was an alright film, compared to some anyway.

I saw the Mummy 2 and agree the special Effects were naff. Like when the desert grew around him. It wasn't funny. It was a film that was so action packed you think you should find it interestin, but I didn't

[Reply #85 on:]

This isn't very current, but I saw the Dungeons & Dragons movie the other day. I wasn't expecting much, and boy I didn't get much. It's in the same vein as Battlefield Earth and Monkeybone--a critically panned, box office bomb that nobody likes, but we watch it just to see how bad it is.

This movie has the worst acting ever. Even that Thora Birch girl, who is supposed to be non-crappy, is very crappy in this movie. It's amazing how much the cast over-acts. My theory is that only one actor sucked at first, and that started a domino effect. Marlon Wayans overacts, and then the Dwarf guy says "hey, they're over-acting and the director isn't saying anything. Maybe that's what he wants? I guess I better start making exaggerated facial expressions too". And before you know it, even Thora's acting like a high school Intro To Drama flunk-out. Now that I think about it, the extras were over-acting too. I wouldn't be surprised if they started throwing pies at each other in the background, like on Futurama.

I'd remember the story being pretty bad, but hell if I can remember what happened. Something about a scroll and a scepter. And some villianous henchman with blue lips. I think there may have been a dragon, but it's hard to remember. Plus you can't even hear half the dialogue thanks to that loud-ass soundtrack.

As I mentioned before, there's a dwarf character in the movie. But I have no idea why. I don't think they even explained why he joined up with the heroes. Seriously, he just suddenly showed up. And even after he showed up, he didn't do anything. He didn't fight, he didn't save anyone with his wits or his weaponry. I can't imagine why they'd write him in there. If they needed a dwarf, they should have recast Marlon Wayons with Gary Coleman. Nobody would have cared.

The whole movie sucked, and the ending was just confusing. Luckily I rented the DVDVDVDVDVD version, so I got to see the crappy deleted scenes, and hear the director talk about his movie like it's better than it really is.

Speaking of, the director said the movie did well enough overseas that the studios are considering a sequel. I hope this pans out, because I'd love to see how bad a series of sequels would be.

[Reply #86 on:]

I saw Jurrassic Park 3 last night. It was about what I expected. The action scenes weren't as tense as JP1, but they were fairly cool, and there were less annoying children in this one(this movie only had one kid...still pretty bad, but oh well).

The action was pretty much non-stop, which is good, but I felt like it never really built into anything. There wasn't really a big climax that topped everything that came before. It was just one long, steady action scene.

It's short, but that's a good thing. I'm glad they didn't feel the need to keep everything at 2 hours. I would recommend JP3 as a good way to waste five bucks on a weekday afternoon.

[Reply #87 on:]

JP3- Decent dino flick.  It's a popcorn movie, but it works for what it is.  The "new" dinos work to varying degrees.  The spinosaurus kinda sucks; i didn't really see what was so great about him and he looks like a mutant crocodile (or is that alligator?).  I was happy they cut down on the number of annoying little kids from the 1st movie (sorry i haven't seen the 2nd one).  This kid is probably as non-annoying (for a kid) as possible.  If Steven Spielberg directed it he probably would have schmaltzed it up a lot more, so i didn't really miss him much. The ending was too abrupt, but that's better than having the movie go on for 3 hours (Pearl Harbor, I'm looking at you).  I was upset that more people didn't die though. --This is the kind of movie, that, if it were on TV i would be excited to watch, but i wouldn't buy it on video.

 Monkeybone-I know what you are thinking: What the hell movie is Monkeybone?  Well, this movie was only in theatres for one week, folks.  Sad, but true.  I missed out on it that first (and only) weekend and so FishyJoe and I finally got a hold of a rental copy of the DVDVDVD.  This is like some sick version of the movie Ghost by way of Beetlejuice, right down the sets and Whoopi Goldberg.  I know its a bad movie when one of my favorite characters was actually Chris Kattan- hell i even felt sorry for him for being in such crap.  Basically, as the cartoon intro painfully demonstrates, Monkeybone is Stu's (Brendan Fraiser) childhood erection come to life.  The whole movie is about Stu's penis, oh and there are some farts "jokes" thrown in.  The movie tries to hard to be edgy, artistic and wild, but it was just plain boring.

[Reply #88 on:]

 

Originally posted by Mitsui:
I saw the Mummy 2 and agree the special Effects were naff. Like when the desert grew around him. It wasn't funny. It was a film that was so action packed you think you should find it interestin, but I didn't

meh, everybodys salready heard my speel on how I though mummy 2 was shitty, but I must say that I thought that evolution was better... minimally.

[Reply #89 on:]

Has anyone watched "Death Race 2000"?
I just watched it last night! its the dumbest movie ever created! no question!
the only acter i reconized was Sylvester Stalone..

filmed in 1975, the movie took place in the yr 2000..

It was a stupid story about a intercontinental US car race, you gain points byt killing people..
ex. person over 70, 100pnts.

Had a good twist at the end but still

[Reply #90 on:]

I think I've seen parts of Death Race, but I'm not really sure.

On FF:The Spirits within, the CG animation rocked, no doubt about that. It was kinda weird setting the plot here on Earth, but it didn't bother me at all. The bottom line, though, according to my friend's testimony, you WILL have a hard time watching this movie if you're a hardcore fan. It comes off wanting to be a drama because there wasn't much action and then they 'American-ize' it by adding a love plot that threw off the whole mood. However, it is a great watch for not-so-hardcore fans like me.

I don't think anyone here reviewd Kiss of the Dragon. Well KOD kicks ass all the way, with its awesome action scenes. The right music plays at the right moments, making it more dramatic. What can I say? Jet Li is just smooth with his moves, with so many unexpected actions.

[Reply #91 on:]

 

Originally posted by Kifley Jr:
Has anyone watched "Death Race 2000"?

doesn't the titile just scream at you not to watch it?

[Reply #92 on:]

 

Originally posted by Kifley Jr:
Has anyone watched "Death Race 2000"?
I just watched it last night! its the dumbest movie ever created! no question!
the only acter i reconized was Sylvester Stalone..

filmed in 1975, the movie took place in the yr 2000..

It was a stupid story about a intercontinental US car race, you gain points byt killing people..
ex. person over 70, 100pnts.

Had a good twist at the end but still

i have seen it, it was years ago. some of my friends rented it on video, that was a roger corman production, was it?
i can't remember the end but all i can recall now is that the movie was pure trash and pure fun!!! man, i would like to see it again!!! 

[Reply #93 on:]

 

Originally posted by darthgy:man, i would like to see it again!!!   

you can get it off http://www.Filmspeed.com

you can download it its called "Downplay"

[Reply #94 on:]

 

Originally posted by Kifley Jr:
filmed in 1975, the movie took place in the yr 2000..

I love old movies that take place in the "future". Like Conquest of the Planet of the Apes(I think that's what it was called...the fourth one, anyway). Takes place in 1981. Um, hello? If we had ape slaves that violently revolted, all led by one great talking ape, I'm sure we would have remembered.

Back to movie reviews: yeah yeah, Monkeybone was bad.

[Reply #95 on:]

Planet of the Apes- sucks.  I wan't to laugh at everything.  The general whoreishness of the girl ape (Ari) the whoreishness of the swimmer chick.  All the things that would be spoliers like the reason its bad to have a space man on the planet of the apes, and the surprise ending... they all suck most of all.  It was supposed to seem clever but all these things just seemed boring and stupid.  This movie didnt have the loud-soundtrack-of-B:E, but it did have a damn lot of the shaky-camera-of-confusion-ala-blair-witch.... oye! 

[Reply #96 on:]

I too saw Planet of the Apes. The original was SO much not-worse. I mean sure, it had its fair share of cheesiness, but so what, it was made in the 60's--what's the remake's excuse?

Well I guess "remake" is an incorrect term...I guess I should say it's a "re-imagining" of the original. Or maybe a "ruining" or a "rip-off" of the original. In the new movie, character development takes a back seat to action. This would be fine with me, if it weren't for the fact that action also takes a back seat to really corny jokes that mirror our own society(or the "sly" references to the original movie). I can think of at least 47 times when I shook my head, or audibly groaned at Tim Burton's lameness.

And that sucks, because I actually like Tim Burton. Peewee's Big Adventure is one of the coolest movies ever, and the first two Batman movies, while not great, were certainly miles ahead of the two non-Burton sequels.

After two hours or so of bad in-jokes, characters who suddenly change political ideas for no reason, and one of the worst, least thought-out subplots I've ever seen(involving an annoying 13 year old human who thinks he can fight as well as an adult), the movie ends with a groan-able "twist" that will make even the easiest of moviegoers shake their heads in disgust.

A few more points:

The ape makeup was pretty good. I thought some of the apes looked pretty scary. But they threw all potential scariness out the window when they had the apes jumping around and squealing like a bunch of circus animals. I'm sorry, but monkey squealing isn't scary--it's hilarious.

Speaking of monkeys, an ape in the movie mentions that monkeys are one step ahead of humans in the evolutionary ladder. Would they even know what monkeys are? Even if there were monkeys on that planet(and I'm pretty sure there weren't), how can they think of them as being above humans? Humans can convey thought through speech--monkeys cannot. Just how stupid are these apes?

Couldn't Burton have kept the action semi-realistic? I know it's a movie about talking apes, so maybe I shouldn't complain about realisticness, but come on...the apes jump 20 feet into the air like the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon warriors. And humans fly into the air when punched in the face--it's ridiculous.

Helena Bonham Carter was a dirty harlot. The movie didn't even develop a romance between Mark Walberg and the ape girl(I forget her name. Geisha? Something like that)...they just met each other and all of a sudden she's making passes at him.

I liked the ape kissing in the original. It was cute. But in this new version, it's just disgusting.

Ok I'll shut up now.

[Reply #97 on:]

I'll be seeing this Wednesday night, but I wanna know the answer to one question.... does Heston say The Line?

[Reply #98 on:]

Hmmm...depends on what you mean by "The Line". But yes, he does repeat one of his original lines.

[Reply #99 on:]

Yeah, I saw a review, and it mentions that he says...

Show spoiler

"Damn them! Damn them all to hell!

[Reply #100 on:]

Well I don't want to spoil anything, but....

Show spoiler

Yeah, that's the one.

[Reply #101 on:]

Anyone seen Scary Movie 2?  I've been thinking about going to see it but I've heard it's pretty stupid.

[Reply #102 on:]

 

Originally posted by Kryten:
Yeah, I saw a review, and it mentions that he says...

Show spoiler

"Damn them! Damn them all to hell!

POTA: the next generation spoilers

Show spoiler

yea but it sucked.  also M. clark duncan says some version of the "get your stinking paws off me" line-- that sucks even more.  if your a stupid idiot that gets excited easily you will "squeal" with "girlish" "glee" when C. Heston talks about how evil guns are...

seriously don't get pissed at me if you read the spoilers

[Reply #103 on:]

 

Originally posted by VelourFog:

Show spoiler

if your a stupid idiot that gets excited easily you will "squeal" with "girlish" "glee" when C. Heston talks about how evil guns are...

Hey, I think that's frickin' hilarious!  I mean, you could cut the irony in that with a knife!  I mean, the man IS president of the NRA!  In the same vein, I thought the best part of the original was

Show spoiler

when Charlton Heston got a gun

[Reply #104 on:]

Waiting for Guffman[/b]

Freakin' hilarious movie.  It's about how a small town in "Missourah" celebrates their 150th aniversery by putting on a play commemorating their history.  It's shot as a documentary on the making of the play.  The director is a Broadway reject, who is just plain old not straight.  He casts townspeople, who are just so bad, that they're kinda good.  Incidently, the dad from American Pie and the mother from Home Alone are in it.  It's directed by the same guy who did "This Is Spinal Tap."  Anyway, the director sends out letters to various Broadway companies, and one sends back, saying that they are sending a scout, Mr. Guffman (hence the title).  And so the movie is about how the play comes together and the finished product.

Best lines:
You are bastard people!
I hate your ass-face!
Kids just don't like lunch, but when they've got a "Remains of the Day" lunchbox, they're much happier."

-All by Corky St. Clair, the director.

[Reply #105 on:]

I haven't even seen This Is Spinal Tap. I guess I should...I hear it's supposed to be great or something. Oh well, I'll watch it later.

*jeff- that's not a review... you better check yo'self before you wreck yo'self*

[Reply #106 on:]

Planet of the Apes was good, better than the old one.  Jurassic Park 3 was pretty good, though short.  It seemed like they just ran from dinosaurs the whole time.  But I advise against seeing Cats and Dogs.  I saw it with my aunt and my cousin, and it was terrible.  It's more of a kids' movie.  After that we snuck in to the end of A.I., and it was like some twisted Pinocchio, or however you spell it.

[Reply #107 on:]

I just saw Jurassic Park III last night originally to sit in the front row with two other friends and make fun of it (sound familiar?).  Anyway, this movie sucked.  Big ass dinosaurs jump out of nowhere and people run from them.  There I just spoiled the whole movie for you, no need to go see it.  When there's a character on screen that isn't a dinosaur expert, they are automatically stupid when it comes to every aspect of life, some kind of comic relief maybe but it's just annoying and made me throw half my $2.50 .5 oz bag of Sprees at the screen and damnit I love Sprees.  This 1 hour and 32 minute waste-of-time was annoying, predictable and maybe had only ONE small funny part, but sadly wasn't SUPPOSED to be funny, I just laughed my ass off at the stupidity.  This movie had good actors, but why they appeared in this movie baffels me.  Good graphics though.

[Reply #108 on:]

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?[/i]

Again another movie that I really enjoyed.  It's very loosely based on The Odyssey, by Homer.  It's about 3 convicts who escape to find a treasure in 1930's Mississippi, who encounter many obstacles along the way.  It has an above average soundtrack, with a lot of "old-timey" songs.  It was kinda fun to figure out which scenes in the movie represent parts from the Odyssey.  Anyway, I recommend this movie as well.

[Reply #109 on:]

(VelourFog) you can chat about movies here: http://www.peelified.com/cgi-bin/showpage.cgi?Forum=2&Thread=000303&Page=3  (/VelourFog)

[Reply #110 on:]

The Others- nothing really happens in this movie, but it's a decent haunted house movie.  Bring a date and make out!  If you saw the trailers then you got 2/3rds of the "jumpy parts" spoiled for you.  Trailers nowadays are bastards that way.  Half the people i made go with me didnt know anything about the movie, i think its probably better that way.  If you know the ending, there is basically no point in seeing the film, as the whole plot just builds slow suspense to the ending, which is cool enough. I give it a B

[Reply #111 on:]

 

Originally posted by FishyJoe:
*jeff- that's not a review... you better check yo'self before you wreck yo'self*

Hey! I don't remember saying that!

Anyway, The Others...I thought it had some cool creepy moments, and the old woman was quite a scary bitch. And the british kids were cute. But boy what a predictable ending. I was SO hoping they wouldn't go with that ending, but they did. Lousy writers.

[Reply #112 on:]

I hate to pull a futurefreak ( ), but I'm going to bring back this old thread even though I have nothing to say.

Come on guys, post movie reviews...there have been some semi-big movies in the past few weeks. American Pie 2(Bart, didn't you download it a while back? Review it already!), Jay & Silent Bob, that crappy Woody Allen flick, Bubble Boy...

Even Roger Ebert is slacking off...he never posted a review for Rat Race OR Bubble Boy, and his AP2 review sucked. Hurry up and get critiquin'!

[Reply #113 on:]

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back[/i]

Definitely worth seeing.  It's freakin' hilarious!  I'm not sure I know of any movie that has as many quotable lines as this.  The plot was ok, and there was some character developement.  The best part of the movie was seeing almost every TV/Movie celebrity under the sun have a cameo appearance, from Carrie Fischer, Mark Hamill, and George Carlin to Jason Biggs, James Van Der Beek and Chris Rock.  If you aren't offend by crude language and dirty jokes out the wazoo, this is one worth seeing.

[Reply #114 on:]

Ok, here is my huge movie review...

The Score
Robert De Nero did a great job in it (as he always does in all movies) and Edward Norton is one of the best new stars out there (he was amazing in this and the fight club).  This was a semi slow movie, but not bad at all.  I liked almost all of it and didn’t get very bored (although I did find myself skipping a couple of parts to speed it up).  I give it a 8 out of 10.

Evolution
The people that made this movie didn’t know whether they wanted a comedy or drama, and this movie was neither.  I hated it, although I did enjoy watching it at the time.  I think they wanted to make another Men in black type of film, but did a horrible job of trying to portray it.  4 out of 10

Jurassic park 3
I was hoping this was going to be a really really good movie, and it wasn’t that.  It was much better then the second lame ass Jurassic park movie, but not nearly as good as the first one.  And the last part was really lame.  7 out of 10

American pie 2
According to edeltraut, this is a dick flick.  And what would I be?  A dick you say?  You’re right!  I liked this movie.  It wasn’t as cool as the first one, but all in all it was funny and entertaining.  7 out of 10

Bring it on
This is a dumb cheerleader movie that was lame and meaningless.  I was hoping to have a good plot and lots of hot chicks in this movie, and only got one hot chick and a stupid plot with horrible acting along with the annoyance of cheerleaders.  4 out of 10

Cast away
I thought this was going to be a dumb lame movie, and I was half right.  For one thing, I know everything about the movie just by watching 3 trailers. I was only wrong about one thing, which was the very end.  I thought it got boring and dull at parts, but all in all I liked it.  6 out of 10

Unbreakable 
This was a very cool and inventive movie, but wasn’t nearly as good as the sixth sense.  It was slow at many parts, but was still entertaining.  I didn’t like it that much though. And the end was kind of lame.  6 out of 10

South park: Bigger, longer, and uncut
Very funny movie.  Very good if you like the show.  9 out of 10

[Reply #115 on:]

evolution
at first i thought ooh,david duchovny this should be as good as the x-files,boy i was wrong.i liked it up to the kane madness bit,i mean why did he make the kane madness,was it for that stupid joke at the end?i think they made this just to flash around some computer graphics.overall rating:   

[Reply #116 on:]

I've seen a lot of movies this summer. Here's My list:
The Mummy Returns: I HATE BRANDON FRASER. Enough Said.
Spy Kids: Ho Hum.
Tomb Raider: If you aren't an Angelina Jolie fan, Don't bother.
Legally Blonde: Surpisingly good.
Dr. Doolitle 2: Better Then Shrek.
Shrek: Oh, Mike Myers. You used to be funny.
Planet of the Apes: What? No Dr. Zaius? And what the hell's up with the ending?
American Pie 2: American Pie. Again.
Jurassic Park: No Michael Crichton+No Steven Speilberg+Jurassic Park=Sucks.

I know, I sound like a crank.

[Reply #117 on:]

SHREK
some scenes were funny like the wrestling skit and the dragon castle bit was very well done.the ending made me cry...
because it nearly wrecked the whole movie!i mean

Show spoiler

why does the bad guy always get eaten in these type of films?and dont even get me started on the transformation!

but eddie murphy was casted well...
as an ass!!   
but for some reason i liked the this film(except for that dingis meyers).overall:   

[Reply #118 on:]

Oye, Spy Kids...I watched like 25 minutes of that(don't worry, it was free). What a piece of shit. Why would anyone like that? I heard people hyping it up like it was supposed to be a kids movie that adults could enjoy too...what the hell? This is quite possibly the most annoyingly kiddie movie ever.

iFil!: did you really think JP2 was better than JP3?

[Reply #119 on:]

I'd like to take this time to remind you to chit chat about movies in this thread: http://www.peelified.com/ubb/Forum14/HTML/000005-3.gz.html
you can review movies in this thread.  I know it seems complaicated, but i'm sure you guys are all smart people and will figure it out some day