Outrageous Prices For Food and Entertainment! (The Movie Reviews Thread)

[Reply #120 on:]

Well, damn, that's what I get for not paying full attention.

[Reply #121 on:]

I disliked the villain, because he felt too cartoonish and that's coming from someone who believes in a LOT of cartoonish villains as being realistic/ believable.

The whole film is cartoonish - that's why it's so much fun. Red Skull is less cartoonish that most of the film such as Captain America himself and the fact that it's basically just Hugo Weaving doing an impression of Werner Herzog is awesome.

That being all said, the film could've been as short as Thor, and gotten away with it.

Thor is only 9 minutes shorter than Captain America.

The futuristic bits that revolved around the sacred blue cube of destruction felt so... out of place in the 1940s setting to me. That alone was probably what made this movie feel a bit... wrong. Scrap that, scrap the villain and try a different one and I think the film would be ten times stronger.
It wasn't futuristic - it was steampunk if anything - harking back to the pulpy cinema of the 40s and the nature of the comic books from which it was based. Again, it's one of the reasons why I think the film works - without it, you'd have a much more generic and therefore, less interesting film on your hands.

[Reply #122 on:]

the only other villain I can think of working is Baron Zemo

[Reply #123 on:]

Swallows and Amazons (1974)

Yesterday was a bank holiday, and the TV schedulers wanted to air a family film, so dug out this one. I watched some of it to see if it wasn’t as bad as I remembered: unfortunately, it was.

Yes, I know it’s aimed at children, children are the main characters (often a problem for the producers), and storylines have to be modified due to time constraints and ease of filming, but too much got lost in the transition. People have said “That’s not how I imagined them…”, and “It’s a simplified version…”, and I agree. First of all, John Walker appears too young: it’s generally accepted that he’s about the same age as Nancy Blackett. Second of all, there is no indication that the Swallows, and John in particular, have a navy background and a reasonable understanding of all things nautical: they come over as just another bunch of kids playing with a boat during the holidays. Third of all, don’t cut out scenes that define a character: Nancy is supposed to be a tomboy and rebel, so don’t leave out her Captain Jack Sparrow moments.

If the BBC go ahead with a remake they need to avoid the mistakes and omissions of this film. I might be biased, but for me it just doesn’t do the books justice: 4/10 barbecued billygoats.

[Reply #124 on:]

Saw The Avengers for the third time, still so much fun. I can't wait to see the extended cut on Blu-ray with more Cap footage.

[Reply #125 on:]

Avengers

It took them 3 attempts but they finally nailed the Hulk.

Samuel L. Jackson played Samuel L. Jackson very well as usual.

Ironman and Captain America were suitably cool, as was Hawkeye.

Loki was evil. Thor was godly.

Scarlett Johansson was completely redundant.

A- (but not in the Wernstrom way).

[Reply #126 on:]

Avengers

Not sure why Shia Lebougff (don't know how to spell his name, don't give a fuck) wasn't all over this movie.  Seriously, this was pretty much just Transformers 17, Revenge of Loki's army that consists of 20 men that wants to take over planet Earth when they can't even beat like 5 or 6 people, some of which have a couple of extra human abilities.

The whole plot throughout the movie makes very little sense, and what's worse is that the script was clearly trying to append some sort of sentimental value to the events that were occurring, as if they'd consulted Adam Sandler as their chief consultant on how to get their audience to become hypnotically empathetic. 

I had trouble watching this movie to be honest.  Anyways, for what it's worth, I have no idea how this movie could have been good... they simultaneously made Tony Stark a super asshole (I enjoyed Iron Man btw) and a pussy... so this was probably the best we could get; overhyped jazz shit ala X-Men 3.  This was better than X-Men 3 cause that movie is just peurile shit, but you know.   At least they're making a sequel to this movie, and it'll include half the cast of X-Men 3 and the spiderman from the unneeded reboot... also it will involve one of the lamest Dragonball Zsiest storylines in all of comicdone.  Ooo, can't wait!  I hope they include Shia Lebboof in it too, cause I know that would just make it rads better!!!

D--

[Reply #127 on:]

Iron Man 2

Watched it, it was alright. I tolerated it more than Captain America only because of Robert Downey Jr. Seriously, they could make a film of him just saying random shit and he'd do fantastic in it, I swear. Dunno if I'd watch it again but meh, I'd prefer it to Captain America by a small bit. The film seemed a tad flighty and parts were skimmed that probably should've been expanded upon but alright. So long as we get cool fights I'm down with it.

70/100 arc reactors

Avengers

Clearly winna wasn't watching the same movie as everyone else. Ok, the movie was long, and maybe the plot line wasn't perfect but it's a damn fun film to watch. I actually liked Captain America in this film and while some of it seems over the top and ridiculous, I loved it anyways. The audience got many small bouts of giggles and the one-liners were zingers. Scarlett was better in this movie than she was in IM2 acting-wise IMO. Not that I could entirely pay attention to that because of boobs. I actually learned who the hell Hawkeye is and I like his character. I wanted more Thor/Loki fighting (because Tom actually was hit during those scenes by request to make it seem more realistic) and I almost wish somehow the one fight in the beginning-ish... wouldn't have ended with standing around awkwardly but then again, awkwardness is kinda comical. I'll just say this: Loki is a villain in this, but I read him as more the intelligent type who does shit merely to see what happens until he gets caught and pouts about how he loses. Hence him being God of mischief.

A-

[Reply #128 on:]

I agree about Loki being the kind of person who isn't really a villain just someone who likes to screw with people. But he is a good villain, and after reading countless discussions on IMDB, I think he was more of a pawn in a grander scheme. Regardless I loved him, he was funny, he was creepy, and I want to have Tom's babies.

[Reply #129 on:]

Only after I do that, hon. Only after me.

[Reply #130 on:]

Get The Gringo
Ok, Mel Gibson may have flipped out in his personal life and his last movie choice, but I liked Edge Of Darkness and this, so recently he's 2/3 for me.
Think Payback meets Prison Break season 2, the film opens with him in a high speed car chase over the Mexican border, and he ends up in a dirty Mexican prison, befriends a young kid and figures out the corruption and major players on his way to escaping!
Look out for Peter Stormare from Prison Break and Bob Gunton from Shawshank Redemption...
SEE? IT HAS GUYS FROM OTHER PRISON MOVIES/TV SHOWS SO IT'S COOL GUYS!
B+

The Raid
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU *deep breath because you forgot to breathe from being on the edge of your seat* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKK!!
Amazingly exhilarating tense and thrilling martial arts and shooting action.
A

[Reply #131 on:]

Dark Shadows

There were things that I liked about this movie, mainly the 1970's setting because I love 70's culture. But man, this was such a flat movie. You have these great actors and they aren't given anything to do, there are these set ups for funny moments or character developing moments and nothing comes of it. It's incredibly static and the plot is all over the place. By the end of the movie all these new twists are added from coming buttfuck out of nowhere (mostly with Chloe Mortez's character), and it ends very meh-like. Even the final battle which has good moments is filled with a bunch of dull air.

I can't say it was horrible because it wasn't, but man it was just wasn't even trying. This is Burton on autopilot and I really dislike that. Depp was amusing enough. But yeah this is disappointing, I can't even decide which was worse this or Alice in Wonderland. Because while Alice in Wonderland had a consistent plot and didn't take 20 left turns, it was boring. This wasn't boring...but it was. But it was a different kind of boring. I'm not even sure.

B-/C+

PS: I do actually want the soundtrack for this movie because it was filled with 70's goodies.

The Incredible Hulk

I've been meaning to watch this since The Avengers. All I can say is maaaan, as much as I loved Ruffalo's Hulk and how he's presented in the movie, Edward Norton is a damn good Bruce Banner. I am very interesting in seeing how The Avengers would have turned out if he was still playing the role. I liked this movie, it was pretty good and his Hulk seems to be more self-aware and definitely intelligent, which I didn't get from Ruffalo's Hulk.

So sad things didn't work out, I really really liked this movie. Edward Norton crush!

A-

[Reply #132 on:]

Iron Sky

This movie is getting my vote for movie of the year. If you want a laugh this is the movie to see, the political incorrectness is what makes this movie so great. Not going to say much due to spoilers.
This is recreated in the movie

Pros: Spaces Nazis from the moon. Space station MIR being used as an attack ship by the Russians.

Cons: All of the Germans, sprechen im deutsch. So you have to read subtitles.

A solid A

[Reply #133 on:]

50 First Dates

This movie is really bad but for some reason I watched it to the end. What happens? Adam Sandler meets Drew Barrymore with brain damage meaning that she doesn't remember the day before so her Dad and her brother spend about a year living the same day. (They even watch a movie with her over 300 times every single day.) So Adam Sandler makes a tape for her so she remembers him but she breaks up because there wont be a future for them both and he leaves on a boat but then in an incredibley forced plot twist he goes back to her and takes her with him on the boat trip, they then have a baby... Boring charictars, boring plot, bad jokes,
3/10
It's a really forgettable movie, so forgettable that I almost forgot what happened 4 minutes after watching it.

[Reply #134 on:]

It's Adam Sandler. When he tries to do something beyond a comedy with a touch of romance, it turns into ashes in the mouths of the audience.

Cursed is the Sandler! Alone is he!

[Reply #135 on:]

It's a really forgettable movie, so forgettable that I almost forgot what happened 4 minutes after watching it.

[Reply #136 on:]

What's sad here is that 50 First Dates is one of the better Adam Sandler movies. Not Happy Gilmore better, but I would be willing to watch 50 First Dates ten times a day before watching Jack and Jill or the one with Andy Samburg that's coming out.

[Reply #137 on:]

Triangle

Triangle is a very similar film to Timecrimes - a foreign film released a few years before it. It takes a very simple but intriguing premise and just runs with it despite there being no real explanation for much of it. Time-travel can lead to real mind-fucks and this is a brilliant example of just why. It gets very complex with countless strands for you to try and keep track of, but that's a good thing if you ask me. In fact, you can largely ignore the storyline or thin characterisation in favour of the puzzle unfolding which is fine because that's all this film strives to be. And on those grounds, it's a success.

7/10


American Reunion

American Pie was, at best, an average film with a likable cast. Its sequels are poor and downright terrible respectively. This is pretty much everything you might expect from a "reunion" type film, decades later. The jokes are weak, the plot weaker and there's an annoying amount of time dedicated to nostalgia-wanking for fans. So if you're not a huge fan that'll get an erection whenever a character from an earlier film pops up, then this probably isn't for you. Still, you could do worse for a contemporary comedy release (*cough* The Dictator *cough*).

5/10


Friday

It meanders along aimlessly until something of a plot pops up in the last 5 minutes. This would be better if the film was considerably funnier but as it stands, it's just a mediocre comedy that speaks to a specific niche of 90s society and seems to think that that's an excuse for not being a better film. But... it's very watchable with some good, comedic performances dotted around.

5/10


Hey, did somebody say Adam Sandler?

Jack and Jill

What? How does shit like this get made. How many people are aware of how poor what they're making is going to be. It's shocking. In short, I'm sure you're already aware of how much people hate this film. I'm sure, if you've got any intelligence, you'll have been turned off of it by the marketing material. But do know that it's a terrible film and devoid of artistry. All that can be said is that, to be fair to Al Pacino, it's clear that he gives his all to every role he takes on. You can't help but feel sorry for the guy for actually trying.

2/10


The Dictator

I love Borat, it's one of my favourite films. I even love Bruno. I love Da Ali G Show. I even enjoy Ali G in da House as something of a guilty pleasure. That is why it pains me to report that The Dictator is among the worst films I have ever seen; devoid of laughter and artistic value. Most Brits are aware that this isn't Sacha Baron Cohen's first scripted effort (Ali G in da House) and it's always been apparent that he's not the best at scripted content based on that film and the parts of Borat and Bruno that tie the "pranks" together. But at least what we've seen in the past tends to be funny in an immature, "I'll laugh if I'm drunk" kind of way. The Dictator doesn't even work on that level. The writers seem to be of the opinion that simply being offensive is funny. It's not. I'm all for being offensive but you have to have some sort of purpose or justification for it - you can't just show the inside of a woman's vagina and expect it to be funny in itself. Have a police car burst out of it like the start of The Naked Gun 2 1/2 or something. But yeah, add on to that that the storyline is next to none-existent and the characters are so poorly defined that they might as well be different people in each individual scene. The film's emotional backbone - why we should care about any of it - is the idea that Sacha's dictator is actually a nice guy who just doesn't know better but, for every scene conveying this, there's two that undermine it afterwards. The story is so lazy, it's actually insulting to watch. Other than Sacha Baron Cohen, there are three credited writers on this film. They're the geniuses that wrote the Mike Myers adaptation of The Cat in the Cat and, sadly, The Dictator is by far their worst film to date. I'm really struggling to convey just how poor an effort this film really is. Ben Kingsley is in it which is perhaps part of why it reminded me so much of The Love Guru - but once again, this is worse than The Love Guru.

2/10


Jeff, Who Lives at Home

I like the Duplass brothers. I find their films endearing in spite of their huge flaws and the fact that (until this one), I was yet to see one that I'd call a decent film. For all their films' flaws, they seem to be growing as film-makers somewhat. This was a huge step up from Cyrus and I do think that one day, they'll produce something special. Their crash-zoom directorial style worked magically in about 5 instances and was horrendously off-putting for the rest of the film - but that said, the characters they crafted were fun to watch and I enjoyed the film for what it was, a diverting light-comedy. Just like all of their work, it's not without its flaws - but it's their best effort to date and certainly a film I'm happy to call "good".

7/10


Dark Shadows

I'm a huge fan of Tim Burton and, as such, I had hoped that Alice in Wonderland was just a blip. Sadly, with this film, it seems to have been the start of a trend. This film is mildly better than Alice in Wonderland but that's not saying much. It's a huge mess. It's very apparent that the film was based on a TV soap-opera because it feels like one - meandering all over the place with hammy acting and dialogue and little in the way of cinematic scope. The tone is all over the place suggesting that the film couldn't tell if it wanted to be a faithful take on the show or more of a comedic, mockery of it. It's a lovely looking film, though with a good - if somewhat uneven - cast and a passable score from Danny Elfman. Not his best work, but it'll do. Oh well, Frankenweenie ought to be fantastic.

4/10


Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior

I didn't care for Mad Max but I was informed that the sequel was a huge improvement and thought it would be worth giving a chance. Sadly, it's about as good as Mad Max which isn't very good at all. Beyond the franchise's unique visual depiction of a post-apocalyptic society (although it's hard to imagine how the world could end up that way purely though a lack of fuel - surely nuclear war or something of that nature would also be needed) there's little to praise it for. It's obnoxiously over-scored, the story might as well not exist, the action (and the film in general) is poorly and claustrophobically shot so as to never allow for a true sense of scope. It's an all-round bad effort and I don't understand why people like it.

4/10


Man with the Screaming Brain

 It's a true B-movie: a low-budget affair, written by, directed and starring Bruce Campbell. It's watchable thanks to Bruce Campbell's charms but it's far from... you know... good. The storyline is extremely close to a laughably bad movie-pitch from Karl Pilkington that can be heard here. That's essentially what this film is, except that this one doesn't devolve into softcore, lesbian porn. So yeah, make of that what you will.

3/10


Rashomon

A highly-regarded classic. I can sort of understand why, but I'm not sure that I agree. The story structure was probably new and fresh at the time, but in a world of three-segmented episodes of animated shows that tell the same story from 3 different perspectives, it's hard to get excited about. The ending is nice and quite profound and a lot of the cinematography is quite good for its time (although I've seen better from earlier) but overall, the film isn't all that engaging and at best, feels dated. It's not bad, but it's not all that great, either.

6/10

[Reply #138 on:]

You seem to watch a lot of movies that you don't like, turnip.

[Reply #139 on:]

American Reunion
Everyone's older and the ones who couldn't act still can't act.
I laughed a few times but for the life of me can't remember any particularly outstanding moments other than Ali Cobrins delicious knockers.
D+

[Reply #140 on:]

What's sad here is that 50 First Dates is one of the better Adam Sandler movies. Not Happy Gilmore better, but I would be willing to watch 50 First Dates ten times a day before watching Jack and Jill or the one with Andy Samburg that's coming out.

Agreed.  I actually kind of like 50 First Dates because it's a bit unique, but it's been awhile since I've seen it.

Hey, did somebody say Adam Sandler?

Jack and Jill

What? How does shit like this get made. How many people are aware of how poor what they're making is going to be. It's shocking. In short, I'm sure you're already aware of how much people hate this film. I'm sure, if you've got any intelligence, you'll have been turned off of it by the marketing material. But do know that it's a terrible film and devoid of artistry. All that can be said is that, to be fair to Al Pacino, it's clear that he gives his all to every role he takes on. You can't help but feel sorry for the guy for actually trying.

-2/10

You forgot the negative.

[Reply #141 on:]

Just some quick reviews

The Avengers

Loved it, 3D was ok but was just glad to see a movie where they let Mr Whedon just get on with it.

A

Moneyball

Was an ok movie if a little predictable (incidently I know nothing about baseball so I did not know about the teams victories going in).

B

Shame

Really good film.  Michael Fassbender is great in it, even if we do see a little too much of him at times.

A

On her majesty's secret service

Was told this was a terrible movie but I did not think it was that bad.  Yes George Lazaneby is the least charismatic of the Bond's but the action scenes are pretty good, certainly worse films out there.

C

Gone with the Wind

Will admit I did not get this one but I do not feel the film holds up well at all.  The acting seems more suited to the theater than the film screen, the historical accuracy is dubious at best and the film is far too long for what it is. I guess we should not judge older films by modern standards but the film bored me.

D

Strangers on a Train

Now I can see why this is considered a classic, really enjoyed the ride.

A

[Reply #142 on:]

You seem to watch a lot of movies that you don't like, turnip.

I've seen all the good ones already.

[Reply #143 on:]

The Cat in the Cat

You watch cat porn?

[Reply #144 on:]

You don't?

[Reply #145 on:]

All porn has pussy. Except the gay type.

[Reply #146 on:]

Figured somebody might like this.

[Reply #147 on:]

I watched Last Action Hero this afternoon, it's been years since I saw it last, and it was still entertaining enough after 19 years (fuuuuuu....) a John McTiernan and Shane Black combination is always going to be good!
Throw in Arnie at his cheesiest, Charles Dance as a badguy and a very meta idea that was unusual for it's day and you have a great action comedy!

"I've just shot someone and I did it on purpose..."

B+

[Reply #148 on:]

*bump for moon Nazis*
Iron Sky
Apart from the projectionist being a knob and cutting off the bottom row of subtitles meaning a restart 15 mins in, this was a  load of fun, one of those "What if..." movies.
Lots of cheesiness and a few great gags (some meh ones) and some hammy acting, but expectations met!
Lol Finland, you silly.
B-

[Reply #149 on:]

Preaching to the converted here I'm sure, but...

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Best film ever made. Must be my 40th-ish viewing and it still makes me laugh, cry and fills me with excitement. So, just to reiterate...

Show spoiler

[Reply #150 on:]

Shatner's "KAAAAAAAAAAN" is classic.  I haven't watched it in years, though I occasionally quote from it.

[Reply #151 on:]

Dark Shadows

There were things that I liked about this movie, mainly the 1970's setting because I love 70's culture. But man, this was such a flat movie. You have these great actors and they aren't given anything to do, there are these set ups for funny moments or character developing moments and nothing comes of it. It's incredibly static and the plot is all over the place. By the end of the movie all these new twists are added from coming buttfuck out of nowhere (mostly with Chloe Mortez's character), and it ends very meh-like. Even the final battle which has good moments is filled with a bunch of dull air.

I can't say it was horrible because it wasn't, but man it was just wasn't even trying. This is Burton on autopilot and I really dislike that. Depp was amusing enough. But yeah this is disappointing, I can't even decide which was worse this or Alice in Wonderland. Because while Alice in Wonderland had a consistent plot and didn't take 20 left turns, it was boring. This wasn't boring...but it was. But it was a different kind of boring. I'm not even sure.

B-/C+

PS: I do actually want the soundtrack for this movie because it was filled with 70's goodies.

 Edward Norton crush!

A-

Yeah Spacedial, I have to see Black Shadows, but I don't have high hopes for it.  When I first saw the adverts for it on Youtube, I thought: "Looks like someone's trying to be Tim Burton and not even doing a very good job of it" and was quite surprised when I saw that it actually was the guy doing it.  I guess it's like Alice in Wonderland: you'd think Tim Burton doing a movie a bout a family of vampires in the 70's (and was also his favourite tv show growing up) would be a match made in heaven... but from what I hear it just didn't work.  Alice in Wonderland was all right, but let's face it, I came away from it feeling like I'd been cheated out of something that should have been so much more: and I wasn't the only one.   I think American McGee did a much better take on the whole "Dark Alice in Wonderland thing" (which has become a huge cliche' now, much as I love it).

But I would like to see it.  I think Tim Burton sucks at doing adaptations really.  Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was pretty forgettable as well.  He works so much better when he's going on his own unique vision, because for some reason, he doesn't do a good job of tying it to other people's work.    Also... much as I love Depp and especially Helena Bonham Carter, you can have too much of a good thing, especially when the three of them are in danger of fusing into one gigantic blob creature.  Let's face it, if Alice was Alex or Alec, Johnny would have got that role before you could say bread and butterfly.   I am incredibly excited about Frankenweenie, (I adored Corpse Bride, and it is one of the movies I usually put on when I do my illustration work).   

[Reply #152 on:]

Just came back from "The Dictator":

Sick, offensive, and deliciously politically incorrect. Exactly what we expected

- I appreciated the rather crude character designs. They were supposed to represent archetypes, not realistic human beings. It worked surprisingly well....
- The showdown (final speech) reminded a bit of "The Great Dicatator" (just in a much meaner way).
- The movie still raises the question: Is there anything in this world that could embarass Sasha Baron Cohen?
- Nothing about that movie was really subtle, with character development being handled rather quick and efficient. But it was yet enough, nothing was missing: There was a political message, put out by Cohen in the most direct way. Not much more than that message, not unnecessary, complicated, meddled subplots...just the needed message.

[Reply #153 on:]

I saw it a few days ago and really enjoyed it. Easily my favorite Sasha Baron Cohen film. It helps that me and my friends are horrible human beings and that's exactly our kind of humor.

[Reply #154 on:]

It's Kind Of A Funny Story
Young dude is depressed, nearly kills himself but goes to a mental hospital for a week instead, meets Zach Galifianakis and other crazy dudes, and Emma Roberts.
Gets better, learns stuff and asks the girl out.
Good performances from the leads and some laughs, at least it wasn't Michael Cera.
B-

Project X
Think Superbad party meets the crazy antics of the closing credits of The Hangover, all shot in shaky cam.
Loser dude and his friends have a big party for the high-school people who don't know who they are, boy it escalates quickly: the pet dog gets high and is tied to several balloons, an angry midget escapes from the oven and dick-punches everyone on his way out, the riot cops are called and a crazed flame-thrower wielding lunatic like at the start of Lethal Weapon 4 shows up looking for his stolen ecstasy.
Fun but ultimately a formulaic high-school party plot underneath.
B+

Trivia: Both films feature this actor and this music piece.

[Reply #155 on:]

Prometheus

Even better than I thought it would be, and I expected it to be amazing! The connections to Alien are awesome, the idea behind the plot is super awesome, the 3D was awesome, the effects, the acting, JUST GO SEE IT!*

9/10

*WARNING: Do not see it if you have not seen the 1979 Ridley Scott movie Alien, as Prometheus is a kind-of prequel to it. And you'll be confused.

[Reply #156 on:]

Prometheus
Do androids spy on your dreams? The answer is yes, creepy androids.
After all the talk about "it's not an Alien movie", it isn't really, but thematically it flippin' is, expanded universe type stuff, but good nonetheless.
A-

[Reply #157 on:]

Prometheus is really good.

[Reply #158 on:]

A Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
Why on earth.2 have I not seen this?! It's honestly one of the best movies I've ever seen and I now know where TNUK has his avatar from!
10/10

Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring.
I can see what all the fuss is about with the movie but because it was on for such a long length of time I had to have 3 sit-ins with me forgetting some important parts which left me confused. I dunno I guess I need to see it again to get it a little bit more so at the moment I'll give it a 7.5/10

Also I'm in the middle of the second one.

[Reply #159 on:]

Beanoz: read the books and watch the 80's tv show both are so much better than the movies.