Sequels and Prequels and Remakes, Oh My! (Upcoming Films)

[Reply #680 on:]

Well, maybe it's so far away, the universe wraps, and it's a twist, like in Planet of the Apes.

So... does that mean that Tim Burton is going to direct the next Star Wars film?

It'll be Batman and Robin all over again.

....I'm not sure if you're aware that Tim Burton didn't direct that film or not...

[Reply #681 on:]

Burton directed Batman (1889) and Batman Returns (1992), While Joel Schumacher directed Batman Forever (1995) and Batman & Robin (1997). Schumacher's are very inferior to Burton's, as they are overly campy and have many unnecessary undertones.

[Reply #682 on:]

Joel Shoemaker is the worst Batman villain.

[Reply #683 on:]

Burton directed Batman (1889) and Batman Returns (1992), While Joel Schumacher directed Batman Forever (1995) and Batman & Robin (1997).

I've never seen the 1889 Batman, but I think we can all agree I simply must.

[Reply #684 on:]

Hurr... I laughed at that too much. Now I'm imagining how a 19th Century Batman would look.

[Reply #685 on:]

There was a 19^th Century Batman. He didn't really fight crime so much as cause random chaos, and he wasn't a comic book character but a mysterious figure from a series of actual police reports: Spring Heeled Jack.

There are many descriptions extant of who he was and what he did, but this is a particularly awesome pairing:

From this website:

Most bizarrely it was described on the Hampton side of the Thames as 'an unearthly warrior in polished bronze armour', complete with strange clawed gloves, and wearing horrible red shoes, which attacked several people, ripping into them with metal claws. Over the course of its reign of terror the phantom would appear in various locations to the west of London, apparantly gradually moving west, and curving around the edge of Richmond Park, which seemed to be the initial centre of its operations, before suddenly crossing the Thames at Hampton and heading north and then east along the then green belt around London.

From the BBC History portal:

What is surprising is how quickly panic could set in. This seems to have happened in Netherton in 1877. A terrifying creature with one flashing eye had been spotted by a number of witnesses leaping hither and thither near the canal. The police were summoned to the spot, surrounded the creature and detained it. It did not take long to realize that Jack was in fact Joseph Darby, later to be the World Spring Jumping Champion, who had been practising at night in a pit helmet.

Here's a paper with sources. It's only slightly-tarnished by having been published in Fortean Times.

There's also more than one picture inspired by this particular legend that bears a passing resemblance to Batman. For example;



So. There's your 19^th Century Batman. He may or may not actually have existed, but he's the closest thing that I can think of.

[Reply #686 on:]

The claws make it sound like an early appearance of Logan, AKA Wolverine, who was alive at that time.

The real Logan, I mean, not the comicbook version.

[Reply #687 on:]

Yes... obviously the real Logan.

[Reply #688 on:]

I also like that that picture appears to have the creature smoking a cigar.

[Reply #689 on:]

I was certain that he was creating a baby tornado, possibly from his ear.

[Reply #690 on:]

There's always the 1943 Batman serial: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman_%28serial%29

Or the Elseworlds comic book Gotham by Gaslight is set in 1889: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gotham_by_Gaslight

[Reply #691 on:]

I wish they would've finished the Gotham By Gaslight game. 

[Reply #692 on:]

I'm personally fond of JLA: Age of Wonder, featuring 1876 Superman working alongside Nikola Tesla. And Thomas Edison, but who cares about him?

[Reply #693 on:]

Heh. DC is convoluted.

[Reply #694 on:]

DC has to much history to not be convoluted.  Marvel is just the same.

[Reply #695 on:]

We were discussing Elseworlds, which are stand-alone, out of canon stories.

Anyway, most of DC's history was erased a few years ago with Flashpoint.

[Reply #696 on:]

It's amazing how much of an impact a simple typo can have on the discussions of a single thread.

[Reply #697 on:]

Marvel is just the same.

I know. The Ultimate imprint was a great opportunity to wipe the slate clean, but now that's become just as convoluted.

[Reply #698 on:]

Think I heard somewhere there's going to be a Gilligan's Island movie.  Michael Cera is supposed to play Gilligan.  And Beyonce might be Ginger.

[Reply #699 on:]

I'm pretty sure that every character's just going to be played by Eddie Murphy.

[Reply #700 on:]

Eddie Murphy, Beyonce, what's the difference.

[Reply #701 on:]

Think I heard somewhere there's going to be a Gilligan's Island movie.  Michael Cera is supposed to play Gilligan.  And Beyonce might be Ginger.

Hopefully this isn't another adaption that ends up like The Three Stooges or Flinstones.

[Reply #702 on:]

The movie I'm most looking forward to is the new movie by the guy who directed Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind. Its called Mood Indigo.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESs9sE6yuxI

[Reply #703 on:]

The movie I'm most looking forward to is the new movie by the guy who directed Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind. Its called Mood Indigo.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESs9sE6yuxI

I absolutely adore Eternal Sunshine! Will definitely have to check that one out when it's released.

[Reply #704 on:]

I prefer eternal darkness to hide my sins.

[Reply #705 on:]

Eternal Darkness of the Spotted Mippy.

[Reply #706 on:]

So what's everyone's opinions on the Metal Gear movie? 

[Reply #707 on:]

So what's everyone's opinions on the Metal Gear movie? 

Don't care. 

[Reply #708 on:]

So what's everyone's opinions on the Metal Gear movie? 

Tactical Homoerotic Action!

Let me show you my Snake. Is it Solid enough for you? Taste the Liquid!

If it keeps true to the videogame series, expect multiple scenes of men urinating, possibly onto other men; Men with beautiful flowing suicide blonde hair and shapely hips in form-fitting outfits; Men groping other men's junk; Naked unconscious men posed on the floor with their arses pointing up in the air; strange romantic pining from inexplicable Soviet cowboy for another man... Just... men, really. Men being really strange and extremely gay. It's raining men.

Also included:
*A strategically-questionable, tactically unsound bipedal nuclear launch platform. Designed to "launch a nuclear attack from any point on earth" (we have stealth aircraft to perform that role), it can be destroyed by one man with a stinger missile launcher.
*Hardened special-ops soldiers who engage in extremely long-winded philosophizing during combat, waxing poetic about life, death, and everything in-between... er... just like real soldiers? No, not really.
*Themed combatants.
*A hero who is actually Snake Plisskin from Escape from New York, but less badass.
*Completely nonsensical subplot about rogue AIs trying to take over the world through a needlessly complex set of machinations.
*Multiple bullets struck out of the air by swords.
*Stupid in-reference within the dialogue about an infinite-ammunition cheat.
*Constant breaking the fourth wall that seems clever only the first time.

Yeah, no, it's gonna be great.

[Reply #709 on:]

If it keeps true to the videogame series, expect multiple scenes of men urinating, possibly onto other men; Men with beautiful flowing suicide blonde hair and shapely hips in form-fitting outfits; Men groping other men's junk; Naked unconscious men posed on the floor with their arses pointing up in the air; strange romantic pining from inexplicable Soviet cowboy for another man... Just... men, really. Men being really strange and extremely gay. It's raining men.

So... just an A-, then?

[Reply #710 on:]

Don't forget incest, coldy.

[Reply #711 on:]

Am I the only one here who thinks the Metal Gear Solid games have completely stupid stories?

[Reply #712 on:]

What do you mean? Clones who look and sound nothing alike, dismembered hands grafted onto other people and taking over their bodies? Inexplicable mystic links with animals, insane unseen AIs doing really weird things for inexplicable reasons? How can you consider any of that stupid?

I enjoy the games, actually. But they're really just crazy Japanese animes, with all the over-the-top characterisations and sci-fi nonsense that one would expect. As for a movie adaptation... well, we know what to expect from live-action Hollywood adaptations of Japanese anime.

See:
Dragonball Evolution
The Last Airbender
Speed Racer
Guyver
Transformers

Case closed.

[Reply #713 on:]

Surviving members of Monty Python's Flying Circus are set to reunite for another film

[Reply #714 on:]

 YAY, Catching Fire comes out this weekend. Hope they didn't ruin my vision of it.

[Reply #715 on:]

Surviving members of Monty Python's Flying Circus are set to reunite for another film

The description of the film sounds really lame. But we shall see.

[Reply #716 on:]

Speed Racer was good.  I refuse to believe otherwise.

Also, didn't the Rex platform have more than 2 legs?  I thought it was described more as a tank, and had 4 to 8 legs.  I could be wrong though... and yeah, I guess launching nuclear attacks was only important in the 80s and 90s.

[Reply #717 on:]

Rex was bipedal. As was Ray. As are the 'Geckos'. As were the old MGs in the 1987 and 1990 games, and I assume the versions in the various mobile games. All of them could be killed by one man, on foot, with a portable missile launcher. In one instance, a single man is able  to kill scores of Rays. In all, a failed weapon system, I think. Yet, inexplicably, people keep building them?

The only MGs that weren't bipedal were A) the Soviet Shagohod in the 1960s (not really a MG, but a developmental precursor), which had screws and tracks and an inexplicable rocket engine, and Arsenal Gear (not really MG either), which was just a big nuclear submarine.

Here is Rex:



I suppose its movable 'stiletto heels' could be considered as a secondary pair of legs, though they're only deployed to stabilise it when it's in its crouched firing position.


Speed Racer was a turd on a pretty girl's face.

[Reply #718 on:]

Speed Racer has some of the coolest visuals I've seen in any movie...but ya, the story and acting is absolutely atrocious to the point that it detracts from the visuals.

[Reply #719 on:]

So I should watch it with the sound off, jamming '80s New Wave in the background?