'Die Hard' Puns (And Upcoming Films)

[on:]

(Mostly discusssion of upcoming films... you know, what the thread was originally supposed to be for).

But still,

'Shanghai Hard' - John McClane is partnered with Jackie Chan and hilarity ensues.

[Reply #1 on:]

Fixed the thread title for being too ambiguous.

[Reply #2 on:]

Your wording is much less of a mouthful.

I like that.

[Reply #3 on:]

I'm not much for mouthfuls of things. Unless it's delicious cake!

[Reply #4 on:]

Tied Hard: John McClane gets a new rope, and uses it to sexually arouse himself while tying himself to a chair during the arousing. He later found himself stuck in his own basement, helpless. And he was covered in jizz.

[Reply #5 on:]

The Day the Music Died Hard: John McClane hosts a tribue to Don McLean.

[Reply #6 on:]

Pie Hard: Once again suspended from the Police Force, John McClane decides to take up cooking classes with all the free time he now has on his hands but is once again in the wrong place at the wrong time when his cooking class is hijacked by terrorists in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner.

[Reply #7 on:]

'Hard Die' - John McClane steps on a die left on his floor after a game of Monopoly when he gets up for a drink of water in the middle of the night and swears for 90 minutes about how much it hurt his foot.

[Reply #8 on:]

Tried Hard: But couldn't think of anything witty.

[Reply #9 on:]

Zed wins the thread and we're still on the first page.

[Reply #10 on:]

Personally I prefer:

Lie hard 1.2- The prequel to Lie Hard 2 that has McClane sleeping for 9 hours.

Trying Too Hard: Beanoz4 beats a dead horse until somebody takes it away from him.

...and feel that it covers pretty much the same ground.

[Reply #11 on:]

Fried Hard My egg was bad, I sent it back.

[Reply #12 on:]

Died Hard: The David Carradine Story.

On-Topic: Can't wait for the Avengers.

[Reply #13 on:]

...and feel that it covers pretty much the same ground.

Zed's was funnier because it was self-deprecating.

[Reply #14 on:]

Dial Hard: John McClain calls a sex hotline

[Reply #15 on:]

Somebody start a new upcoming film thread... no more pages of Die Hard jokes