It stinks! (movie review thread)

[Reply #360 on:]

HHHHAAAAANNNNS

[Reply #361 on:]

I read the first four books several several years ago and have seen the first 5 movies. Meh.

[Reply #362 on:]

"I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative. Not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way... so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life."

[Reply #363 on:]

American Wedding
 
Fuck you, movie.  Fuck you.  Someone walks into the room and says how funny these American Pie movies are.  My partner says she thinks this one is the best of them.  I am never watching a movie with her again, unless one is on TV at work.

[Reply #364 on:]

All the American Pie movies are stupid and totally lowbrow. 

[Reply #365 on:]

   Harry Potty Number Seven: The Finale - Part One

   …

Here's a question which has only just occured to me: In the scene, toward the end, where the trio

Show spoiler

attempt to run away from the snatchers, why didn't they just disapparate away instead?

[Reply #366 on:]

American Wedding
 
Fuck you, movie.  Fuck you.  Someone walks into the room and says how funny these American Pie movies are.  My partner says she thinks this one is the best of them.  I am never watching a movie with her again, unless one is on TV at work.

Did anyone stick their dick in the wedding cake?

[Reply #367 on:]

Somehow "One time at band camp on my honeymoon…" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[Reply #368 on:]

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

Best of these films in a long time and I thoroughly applaud the decision to split it into two, this has given them a chance to actually slow the pace of the story a little compared to recent outings when the director/editor/whatever has clearly been under pressure to get the story told as quick as possible due to time constraints. To be honest, a similar decision two films ago wouldn't have been such a bad idea either.

It was a fine choice of where to finish off, and although I'm not sure exactly where in the book they got to, it was suitably cliff-hangerish (meaning like a cliff-hanger, not like the movie Cliff Hanger). There's still plenty to happen in the last film, what with only half the Horcruxes destroyed and only one of the Hallows found and hopefully they be hitting the ground running when the next one starts.

After a few relatively disappointing installments, this film has made a refreshing change in this franchise and I'm seriously looking forward to the final chapter.

Now we just have to wait about ten years for them to start the whole thing again from a more informed stand point. It was extreme folly, in my opinion, to start making the films when they did cause there were only four books out at the time.

8 out of 10 could rise if it turns out to be part one of a great epic.

[Reply #369 on:]

Maz's One-or-More-Sentence Movie Reviews

That movie everybody else is seeing at the moment
I haven't read the books, but I did see all the preceding movies in a marathon just over a year ago, so I don't specifically remember what happened in each of them, and I'm still fuzzy as to what happened in the 6th film, but nonetheless I think I got what was going on.

It took ages. It just seemed like they were trying to tell us so many things that I'm not sure were necessary. It's not like reading a book, where the storyteller has to verbalise every single thing they want to put across. Films can use pictures and such and smoosh it all up so that one book doesn't need what will probably end up as 5 or 6 hours worth of film. Yay.

The movies do keep you quite entertained though. My main issue came when they were trying to invoke emotion

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over a fictional animated guy who looked like he was made of rubber. Okay sure, I cried when Mufasa the animated lion died, but at least lions are real, and I was 9 at the time. HP7 is rated M15+. So of course I had to laugh at all the sooks who made sooky noises in the cinema when Dobby passed on in the great circle of life.

Predators
I fell asleep on and off through most of this, and I've not yet seen a Predator movie (aside from this one) so it probably wasn't that interesting for me. Morpheus was a dick.

Alien
This actually seemed to drag on a bit to me.

Aliens
This didn't seem to drag on the way the first movie did. Made me want to perhaps view the other Alien films.

The American
The scenery was really pretty. Let's go to Italy. I don't know what the movie was meant to be about. Some guy plays weapon dealer, kills his girlfriend and gets all boohoo about it then gets another girlfriend who happens to be a prostitute, because that's what you do when you go to Italy. Yeah, I was nearly drifting to sleep in this too..

Indiana Jones - the second and third ones
I watched these too close together to separate them, but they were fun. The one with Connery in was great, and the one with the kid was pretty cool too. I feel more up to date with the world now that I've seen these.

Tron
Now I'm ready to see Legacy when it comes out. Legacy looks pretty cool. Tron is quite an..aged film. Watching it I decided I would not have understood a single thing if I had seen it when I was a kid. I'm also a little confused as to why it is even called Tron, since Tron him(it)self was only briefly focussed on for the duration.

Labyrinth
I now know how deprived my childhood really was.

[Reply #370 on:]

Labyrinth
I now know how deprived my childhood really was.

Show spoiler

[Reply #371 on:]

The image in the spoiler didn't work, so I quoted, I copied, I pasted into the address bar and hit return.

I really wish I hadn't.

[Reply #372 on:]

If the words 'kindertrauma' and 'bowiecrotch' didn't put you off looking you deserve everything you got

[Reply #373 on:]

Tweek!

Forgetting Sarah Marshall
I'm not a big fan of Jason Segel or Russell Brand, so there's only one thing to recommend this film: Mila Kunis.  But, that's not enough to recommend it overall.

3/10

[Reply #374 on:]

I like Jason Segel, but Sarah Marshall was pretty unimpressie

[Reply #375 on:]

   Harry Potty Number Seven: The Finale - Part One

   …

Here's a question which has only just occured to me: In the scene, toward the end, where the trio

Show spoiler

attempt to run away from the snatchers, why didn't they just disapparate away instead?

From what I recall from the book.

Show spoiler

The ministry start tracking all magical means of transport that they can have control of ie; disapparating. Otherwise they get dropped in on by death eaters.

I think anyways.

sj01, I agree. I don't like either of those guys but I was able to semi enjoy this movie to a degree. I'd give it a 4/10.

RED

Had to take the car to get rego checked and a good once over. So I had some time to spare and went to the movies.

Kind of a slow builder for the beginning and a dull one at that, could have been a tad bit quiker. After the dullness the excitement begins with lots of action of John (Willis) kicking ass and being one step ahead of the bad guys and dragging his love interest around, so pretty much the same as every other spy movie ever. All this action is occasionally interrupted with people with unexplained connections and pasts with John whom are easily found and help John out with his mission.
 
The ending to this movie is extremely rushed and could have easily been extended and explained much better. Really, between the beginning of the 'explanation' and the credits there's about 4 mins. Thats pathetic.

All in all it was good for some popcorn violence but pretty forgettable.

6/10

[Reply #376 on:]

Company Business

This movie is set in the time immediately after the fall of the Berlin Wall.  A retired CIA operative (Gene Hackman) is recalled to duty, to escort an imprisoned Russian spy (Mikhail Baryshnikov) through a trade with the Russians for a downed US pilot.  The trade goes wrong, and they're both left out in the cold by their respective governments.  I enjoyed this film, as it not only documents the extreme changes in government & culture that occurred during that period, but makes clever & satiric observations about the military and the spy games the US and Russia ran on each other.  Directly by Nicholas Meyer (one of my favorite directors), it's a fun film to watch.

8/10

[Reply #377 on:]

'Arry Potta 7

All the cool people went to the midnight premier apparently. So I went with my mom who like me didn't read the last book. I know how dare I, but seriously I'm sick of people telling me to read it. I'll read it on my own damn time. I felt super bad for Hermione at the very beginning and the end. And I was just impressed with how drastically different this movie was compared to the first one. The best thing about this experience was hearing my mo call Draco Malfoy a weeny. I guess it's just glaringly obvious by this point. LOL!

A

[Reply #378 on:]

 Read the book!

[Reply #379 on:]

You read the book!

[Reply #380 on:]

Made me want to perhaps view the other Alien films.

Yay!
The others are shit, but YAY!

I'm also a little confused as to why it is even called Tron, since Tron him(it)self was only briefly focussed on for the duration.

Yeah, I always wondered about that. He was kind of a minor character really. Just a cool-sounding name, I guess.

[Reply #381 on:]

Yeah, cooler than 'Kevin's Techological Adventure' I guess.

Silent Hill
Uhm. Wot. That didn't end properly. But neat to see Marita from X Files. I was getting into it until it ended

Se7en
Heh, Kevin Spacey. Pretty neat although not overly different to any other mystery where everything seems to become more and more obvious to everyone but the characters in the movie.

[Reply #382 on:]

Silent Hill
Uhm. Wot. That didn't end properly. But neat to see Marita from X Files. I was getting into it until it ended

It was meant to have a sequel pretty soon after, but the director went to jail for killing someone with his car. lol.

[Reply #383 on:]

lol ohmg lamou.

Maybe he could make a movie about that. It's not like there's ever been a movie about people hitting other people with cars before, right?

[Reply #384 on:]

That's odd.  It's not like they can't replace him with some other director; there's plenty good ones around to choose from.  He must have some sort of iron clad contract or something.

Kung Fu Panda

I caught this on cable, and I enjoyed it.  Didn't expect to, because I think Jack Black is an ass, but he was good in this.  Recommended.

7/10

[Reply #385 on:]

Gran Torino

Clint Eastwood does his best Christian Bale impression. Some Asian kids don't act very well.

Still:
B+

[Reply #386 on:]

   Harry Potty Number Seven: The Finale - Part One

   …

Here's a question which has only just occured to me: In the scene, toward the end, where the trio

Show spoiler

attempt to run away from the snatchers, why didn't they just disapparate away instead?

In the books... 

Show spoiler

Ron and Harry totally blow at apparating, if I remember correctly they never learn to do it at all.  So they have to rely on Hermione.  They didnt pop away because they weren't together and she wasnt going to leave them behind.

[Reply #387 on:]

Hey Jeremy, did you see Burlesque yet?  Your celebrity girlfriend Kristen Bell's in it.

[Reply #388 on:]

No! I didn't even know she was in it. Sounds super gay, though! I'm too busy waiting for the Mila Kunis/Natalie Portman ballerina movie.

[Reply #389 on:]

You mean the new Darren Aronofsky movie

[Reply #390 on:]

No, you're the only person who means that, fag.

[Reply #391 on:]

You mean that movie that Clint Mansell provides the score for?

[Reply #392 on:]

Tangled

It was cute, which for me is pretty good considering I don't care for Disney Princess movies. The songs weren't necessary though.

B

[Reply #393 on:]

You mean that movie that Clint Mansell provides the score for?

Also acceptable.

[Reply #394 on:]

Megamind

I love this movie so much. I love the story plot, and the comedy was really good.

Show spoiler

I also love the romance between Megamind and Roxanne. Well done Will Ferrell and Tina Fey

[Reply #395 on:]

I watched Blade Runner (final cut) last night, in higher definition and higher-paying-attention mode than previous viewings, awesome.
I may or may not have seen other versions, can someone give me the gist of the "happy ending" version (lol not that sort, dirty boy) that was in one of the versions the studio released?

[Reply #396 on:]

I assume the 'happy ending' was the original version where the voice over said that Rachael isn't programmed to 'die' after four years like the other Nexus 6 replicants.

[Reply #397 on:]

Plan 2001 From Outer Space

So this is a Fan edit of Kubrick's 2001 A Space Odyssey and all in all a much better version of it.

I have never really liked alot of Kubricks film and least of all was the above mentioned so I thought it would be interesting to see what someone could do to this film.
I believe almost 40 minuets where removed from the movie as well as being completely re-scored with music ranging from the Rocky theme music and even Flight of the Concords which was hilarious with the particular scene chosen for their song.

Some scenes were removed, shortened or even re-cut and amazingly a actual watchable copy of this movie now exists. Somehow a plot has somewhat emerged from this film as small as it may be its still a far better then none at all.

If you have or haven't watched '2001: A Space Odyssey' I would suggest you get your hands on a copy of this movie and enjoy.

8/10 for the movie and a 10/10 for the great effort.

[Reply #398 on:]

I assume the 'happy ending' was the original version where the voice over said that Rachael isn't programmed to 'die' after four years like the other Nexus 6 replicants.

Ah ok, that's pretty lame, thanks Tweek.

[Reply #399 on:]

Was the "final cut" version the one that they took out the entire Harrison Ford film long voice over?  I seem to remember an interview with him, where he said his talking track destroyed the film for him, and was inserted in the theatrical release version over his & Ridley Scott's objections.