Ebert Gave This Movie Reviews Thread 3 of 4 Stars!

[Reply #480 on:]

I absolutely hated Underworld. Boring bland pointless piece of crap. You say it was shot "darkly"...ya no kidding. You could just show a black screen with lots of dramatic noises in the background and you'd get the same result. The acting was terrible and the execution of the story was just cheesy and stupid as hell.

[Reply #481 on:]

Stop beating around the bush & tell us exactly what you think of this film...

[Reply #482 on:]

The Fall
A mischievous young girl in an LA hospital in the 20s befriends an injured actor called Roy, who starts telling her stories in exchange for stealing him morphine from the hospital supply.
The stories are about 6 characters (Luigi - an explosions expert; a Native American Indian; A runaway slave; an East Indian swordsman; a masked bandit; and Charles Darwin) on a quest to avenge various things committed on them by evil Governor Odious, and the girl imagines the story with people from her life.
Cinematographically gorgeous film (as these flickr shots will show), like one of Yimou Zhangs films, and a great adventure.

A-


Edge Of Darkness
"It's hell bein' Mel", especially when your daughter is brutally gunned down while visiting you, an aging Boston detective (funny accent and all).
Naturally, he suspects his daughters job in the suspicious and shadowy weapons contractor had something to do with it, and a creepy evil guy as its boss seals the deal on the badass vengeance spree!
A bit convoluted and I'm not sure who the hell Ray Winstones character was supposed to be (or maybe that's the point) but pretty good nonetheless.

B+

[Reply #483 on:]

I was watching "Rotten Tomatoes" film reviews last night, and Ellen Fox said "any new film with Ray Winstone or Sam Rockwell is automatically cool".  Not sure I agree, but I do like Ray Winstone's work.

[Reply #484 on:]

The acting was terrible

I honest to God cannot take Bill Nighy seriously in any role because of those movies.

"I love you ...
...
...
...
...
... Like a daughter."

[Reply #485 on:]

I seen the *Remake* of Nightmare on Elm Street with my boyfriend and thought it was ok. the start was boring but it got a bit better and a bit scary as you go along.

[Reply #486 on:]

I was watching "Rotten Tomatoes" film reviews last night, and Ellen Fox said "any new film with Ray Winstone or Sam Rockwell is automatically cool".  Not sure I agree, but I do like Ray Winstone's work.

He was in Indy 4 afterall.

[Reply #487 on:]

I heard the reviews & stayed away.  I figured I'd catch it on cable in about 5 years or so..

[Reply #488 on:]

I've been catching movies on TV, always near the middle, but I figure I'm just as (un)qualified to review a movie that I've seen half of as I am a movie that I've seen in its entirety.

The Fly

Grotesque, nasty, stomach-turning, disturbing movie. I remember my parents loving this movie when I was younger; whenever it was on TV, they'd try to goad me into watching it, saying it was as funny as it was creepy. From what I saw of it--it was about an hour in when I turned it on--that's sort of true. Goddamn, David Cronenberg, you are a brilliant and disgusting man, and I am quite intrigued.

B--based on what I saw of it, and what I anticipate I'll think of the rest of it when I inevitably Netflix it.

Broadcast News

This movie is always on TV, and I always catch it at a different point; consequently, I've seen the Albert Brooks flop sweat scene about five times, and the ending maybe three times--but tonight was the first time I saw the little reporting venture to South America.

So, yeah--I caught all but the first, like, 15 minutes. And I liked it, of course--it's funny and tense and Holly Hunter and Albert Brooks are brilliant. (And I think I have the slightest, most confusing crush on Albert Brooks, circa 1987.) The ending seems kind of rushed, and the love triangle is sort of meh, but it's awesome all the same.

A

[Reply #489 on:]

Grotesque, nasty, stomach-turning, disturbing movie.

It made me hungry.
I'm going to go vomit on some chicken.

[Reply #490 on:]

All these movies I've watched in school recently since it's the end of the year and we're running out of stuff to do or in some cases we're finished.

A Beautiful Mind

This hits somewhat close to home since my sister is paranoid schizophrenic, but the character of John Nash really wasn't in any way sick like she is. At least he had the math thing going for him. But it was good, I really enjoyed it. And I really want to steal Jennifer Connolley's body...and be...her. She's SO pretty!

B+

Casablanca

We got to watch this in AP English since we're done and next week is our last week. I really liked the story, the emotional love triangle and the World War II setting is beautiful. Hearing all the classic lines that everyone quotes was cool, I feel more cultured than anything, because as my teacher put it, this is a movie everyone has to see at some point in their life. I love the old black and white films, and this was a good one.

A-

Absence of Malice

Watched this in journalism. Honestly if you told me the story it would sound somewhat interesting, seeing how the media's intervention in people's lives can have drastic effects on them. But the whole movie felt like there was something missing. I missed something, the character relationship between Sally Field and Paul Newmen baffled me, one minute he nearly beats the shit out of her then they somehow become involved romantically. It was alright, just empty. And the person who scored this movie seriously did not know what movie he was working on.

D

All the President's Men

Also watched in journalism, I actually didn't get to see the ending though. I liked this, it didn't feel like a movie to me it felt like I was watching these events unfold by watching Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman and company recreate the life of Washington DC during the Watergate scandal. It was great, I enjoy seeing movies about this era, it's something I always find fascinating.

B+

We're watching Malcom X in AP American History with like half an hour left so I won't grade it immediately. Although Denzel Washington so looks like the guy, great casting.

[Reply #491 on:]

C'mon, Gorky; how can you find fault with a film that gave us the phrase "Be afraid... be very afraid..."

Tough Enough

Starring Dennis Quaid, this film follows an out of work honky tonk singer/guitarist, who enters a "tough man" contest to earn rent money.  As much as I enjoy the occassional Dennis Quaid film, this one was a waste of my time.  Watch it if it comes up on cable for free, but don't spend money on it.

3/10

[Reply #492 on:]

Up In The Air
Entertaining, has a few laughs, has some sort of message about loneliness or something and the main cast (Anna Kendrick ) and the cameos are good, but I wouldn't put it in my top list of movies or anything like that.

B-

[Reply #493 on:]

I quite liked Up In The Air. It wasn't as much of a comedy as I expected, but it was definitely one of the most well-written movies I'd ever seen.

[Reply #494 on:]

Robin Hood

I've always liked stories about him but I was surprised to see the story being told a little different from the usual stuff. Also this time around, it's about how he became Robin Hood.

I pretty much like the cast chosen for the roles but I wonder if Russell Crowe's accent was a little too Irish. Or was that intentional.

A

[Reply #495 on:]

Well, I'm sure his accent was one hell of a lot better than Kevin Costner's in his version of Robin Hood.  He sounded like he just got off the bus from Iowa.

[Reply #496 on:]

Iron Man 2
Yeah. Probably liked the first one better.

The Room
It was worth it just to be able to go to a cinema and yell things while throwing spoons. 'Cause you're a woman.

[Reply #497 on:]

The Room
It was worth it just to be able to go to a cinema and yell things while throwing spoons. 'Cause you're a woman.

Wh...what's this?

[Reply #498 on:]

Coldy, you haven't seen The Room?! YOU'RE TEARING ME APART COLDY!

[Reply #499 on:]

  I'm sorry!!!

I haven't even heard of it.

EDIT: My independent source (wikipedia) says it's probably one of the worst films ever made.

[Reply #500 on:]

Heh heh. Yeah.

It's a..film...from 2003. They've been playing it every Saturday night for..I don't know how long, at an old cinema just outside the city. They give you all these rules about moments when you can yell certain things, but you can also shout things your own thing.

At one point the main woman was sitting with the guy she was cheating with her husband on, even though he kept having second thoughts (saying no then sleeping with her anyway) and she said something like "I have something for you" so I yelled out "your testicles on a plate!" and some people laughed so I felt validated. It's neat. I wouldn't normally yell things in a public place, but because it's dark and everybody else is doing it, it's fun. Now I understand why my friend wanted to go for a second time and made me come along.

[Reply #501 on:]

It's a very bad movie. To be honest though, I didn't find it all that enjoyable to watch by itself...it's not really HILARIOUSLY bad as much as it is just depressingly bad. If you get a chance, watch the Rifftrax for it, it's hilarious.

[Reply #502 on:]

That's why you have to watch it in a cimema full of people who know the right moment to yell things, and slow clap along to the weird sex scenes with the same music every time. And throw spoons. They're in my hair! It's not really something you could sit and watch at home by yourself..

[Reply #503 on:]

I would feel bad giving money to someone for making an awful movie. :/

[Reply #504 on:]

I pretty much like the cast chosen for the roles but I wonder if Russell Crowe's accent was a little too Irish. Or was that intentional.

He got really angry when it was suggested his accent was a bit Irish... listen to this interview

[Reply #505 on:]

Russell Crowe is such a douche.

[Reply #506 on:]

I would feel bad giving money to someone for making an awful movie. :/

It was a lot of fun to make fun of. I don't see the problem.

[Reply #507 on:]

Russell Crowe is such a douche.

Best be careful what you say, Jez.

[Reply #508 on:]

The Fourth Kind

The whole split-screen, "real" footage/reenactment thing was kind of neat, but with the exception of, like, one tense moment (the husband holding his wife and kids hostage), this movie was boring. Kind of creepy (in fact, while driving home alone at midnight last night, I had to call one of my friends to talk to me as I drove, so that I wouldn't be completely sketched out by the rural roads ripe with potential for an alien abduction), but to be honest, the scariest parts were those supposedly real clips from an interview with the main character, this gaunt woman with big bulgy eyes. That's what I kept picturing as I drove home last night--that lady, not some faceless alien thing.

B-

[Reply #509 on:]

^ That movie made me mad because I knew nothing about it and for the first half or more I was actually operating under the belief that the "real" footage was actually real footage, and that the whole thing really was a true story as claimed.

Now I want to punch Milla Jovovich in her lying bitch face. Then maybe feel her up while she's dazed.

[Reply #510 on:]

My friends and I had a similar "Is it real or not?" debate when we watched Paranormal Activity (which was equally as boring and lame as The Fourth Kind), because no one Googled it beforehand to see if it was actually a true story. With both movies, I could tell from the start that they probably weren't real, simply because they went to such lengths to convince you that they were (no need for that stupid "Believe what you want to believe", faintly X-Files-ish prologue in The Fourth Kind. I did really think the split screen thing was a nice touch, though).

[Reply #511 on:]

The fact that you even questioned if Paranormal Activity was real or not shows you aren't ready to be released into the real world yet.

Same for you Coldy. I mean, come the fuck on.

[Reply #512 on:]

Oh, there are other reasons I'm not yet ready to be released into the real world. The lack of potty training is probably number one.

Edit: Pun not really intended, but it works.

[Reply #513 on:]

The fact that you even questioned if Paranormal Activity was real or not shows you aren't ready to be released into the real world yet.

Same for you Coldy. I mean, come the fuck on.

Paranormal Activity was fairly obvious. I knew nothing about 'The Fourth Kind'. And hey, I cottoned on halfway through. Jeez. Gimmie a break. I'm a UFO nut. You could say...

[Reply #514 on:]

[Reply #515 on:]

[Reply #516 on:]

Re-watched The Fly in its entirety last night, and I only spent , like, two percent of its runtime staring at the palm of my hand. I still think the last, like, ten minutes are absolutely revolting (as is the vomit-drop, as is that arm wrestling scene, as are appendages dropping like, y'know, flies off Jeff Goldblum's body), but it really is a well-crafted movie. Kind of haunting and tragic, but clever, too. It's more A-worthy than I originally thought.

[Reply #517 on:]

David Cronenberg directed this film, and I think he's a great director.  I've enjoyed some of his other work, like Eastern Promises, A History of Violence and The Dead Zone.

[Reply #518 on:]

Human Centipede

Was bored and downloaded this fairly unknown Horror movie from 2009. Basically, it's the story of a crazy German scientist (yeah, I know) who drugs tourists and experiments on them to link them mouth-to-ass to make a "human centipede". Hilarious idea for a story, but the movie's plot is very repetitive and after the first hour, there really isn't anything left to be done.

6/10

[Reply #519 on:]

I watched the trailer for the human centipede recently thinking that, with a name like that, it would be something ridiculously hilarious looking. I was disappointed when I watched it to see that it was basically just the result of some people going "hey you know what would be cool? A human centipede made from people who are attached to each other mouth to arse!" "Oh my god that is so cool, we should totally make that into a mediocre shock movie with the same plot as every other shock horror film."