Ebert Gave This Movie Reviews Thread 3 of 4 Stars!

[Reply #240 on:]

tnuk why would you willingly watch G-Force?

It has Tracey Jordan from 30 Rock in it, and it's about cute little fuzzy things. It sounded like a winning combination.

[Reply #241 on:]

You should read this thread more, our stellar reviewers could have saved you an hour and a bit!

Good Hair
Chris Rock does a documentary about black womens hair, and how they're craaazy about it, you can't touch it because they spent $1000 on a weave made from sacrificed hair from an Indian temple, much to his and my bemusement.
He also follows a group of top hair stylists competing in a best hair stylist competition which is just as crazy.

B+

[Reply #242 on:]

Sisters 1974

It was a really strange movie about some "black" guy getting killed after he bought a cake and about dropping acid. I learned if something is too strange go far far far away from it.

B

and

Sisters the remake 2006

It has the smoking man from the X-Files in it. Not as good as the first one.

C

[Reply #243 on:]

Sisters 1974

It was a really strange movie about some "black" guy getting killed after he bought a cake and about dropping acid. I learned if something is too strange go far far far away from it.

Shit, I love that movie. (It's actually from '73, I think, isn't it?) Fucked-up, yes.. Like most 70s horror movies are.    Which is why they are awesome.    I remember seeing it on TV once when I was like 10 or something and later having no clue what it was and always wanting to see it again, and then finally seeing it again a few years ago.
From the maker of Carrie, Dressed to Kill and - another good one, really messed-up movie: The Fury, 1978.


QUITE RECOMMENDED.

[Reply #244 on:]

The Wolfman

Well acted, nice and gory, and good change in story from the remake that still pays homage to the 1941 film. Overall, definitely one of the better werewolf movies I've seen in a while.

A-

[Reply #245 on:]

Apocalypto

Mad Mel's venture into the world of pre-conquest Mayans certainly isn't for the squeamish; it opens with a group of hunters killing and butchering a tapir then after a brief interlude where we are introduced the the hunters and their tribe the violence between the jungle hunters and the raiding party which has come to their area to capture people who are to be taken to the city to be sacrificed. If you are not squeamish however and like an adrenalin pumping action thriller with no obvious CGI in site then this is the film for you.

Show spoiler

After the initial killing of the tapir the hunting party are seen joking together, mostly at the expense of one of them who has yet to father a child, their joking stops when another group passes by telling them that their village has been ravaged. The hunters then return home to their own idyllic village. The peace is soon shattered when a large group of warriors attack the village and capture most of the adult population. Jaguar Paw, one of the hunters, manages to hide his pregnant wife and child in a well and almost kills Middle Eye, one of the raiding party. The leader of the warriors, Zero Wolf puts an end to the fight and won't let Middle Eye kill Jaguar, he doesn't stop him killing his father though. Tied together the villagers are taken out of the jungle to a city where the crops have failed and the people are suffering from a sickness. It is here that the reason for their capture becomes apparent; they are to be brutally sacrificed to appease the sun god Kukulkan. During the proceedings there is a solar eclipse and the priest announces that this is clearly a sign that Kukulkan has had enough blood. This doesn't mean freedom for Jaguar Paw and his compatriots though, they are taken off to be used for target practice. Jaguar Paw is wounded but when Zero Wolf approaches to dispatch him he uses the arrow tip to kill him before fleeing back to the jungle. With his son dead Zero Wolf is determined to be avenged and pursues Jaguar Paw into the jungle where his men are picked off one by one, either by nature or by Jaguar Paw himself. As their chase continues a storm begins so Jaguar Paw must get back to his village to rescue his wife and child from the well before they drown. The chase ends on a beach where the last two of the warriors are so shocked by the sight of Spanish ships that they stand transfixed while Jaguar Paw goes back and saves his wife. As the film ends they head into the jungle to start their lives anew.

The cast of mostly unknown actors did a great job especially Rudy Youngblood who played Jaguar Paw, he was in just about every scene and for most of the film was either running for his life or tied to a pole as he was led through the jungle. I wasn't surprised to find that Raoul Trujillo who plays Zero Wolf has a string of acting credits to his name as he brought a real presence to the role. The idea of making a Hollywood blockbuster in Mayan sounds insane but it really worked, the people wouldn't have felt half as real if they'd been speaking English. It was also great that there wasn't any obvious CGI involved, action films are always more exciting if it looks like people are actually doing the stunts we see. The ending is slightly ambiguous, are the Spaniards the rescuers who will rid the world of an evil regime or to they just herald the arrival of a new oppressor? I personally think it was intended as the latter.

9/10

[Reply #246 on:]

BBC2 last night yeah? *hi5*
Good stuff.

The Informant!
Matt Damon and some recognisable TV stars (Scott Bakula, Joe McHale, Tony Hale, Scott Adsit and even Thomas F. Wilson, aka Biff Tannen) are in this twisty tale of corporate tattle tailing.
Matt Damon goes to the FBI about some price fixing shenanigans going on in his company and is the worst informant ever, but all is not as it seems with him

Show spoiler

He's a great big compulsive liar, made most of the big conspiracy up, and just digs himself into a big hole with everybody: FBI, work, lawyers and family alike.

It's a light whimsical affair with some funny moments and weird non sequiters from Damon, but seems messy considering it was based on a real life story, reality blows!
C+

The Brothers Bloom
More whimsical stuff starring Adrien Brody (Bloom), Mark Ruffalo (Stephen) and Rachel Weisz (also good are Robbie Coltrane and Rinko Kikuchi as the mute Japanese explosives sidekick).
The two title brothers, after years of conning their way around idealistic movie locations, decide to do one last con on mark Penelope (Weisz), an odd recluse with lots of spare cash.
A simple enough story with a few twists and counter-cons thrown in to confuse me, but the performances and cinematography are great.
It's a cool looking film and the plot tries to be just as cool but the last act lets it down somewhat.

B+

[Reply #247 on:]

The Abyss

A US Navy submarine carrying nuclear missles sinks into an abyss, and the Navy contracts with local deep sea oil well drillers to perform a rescue mission & sends down a SEAL team to secure the nukes.  However, the story goes in a completely unforeseen direction, as the sinking was caused by the underwater EMP effect of a UFO which passed too close to the submarine; the conflict between the oil riggers & the commander of the SEAL team (who's suffering from deep sea paranoia) over the UFO's intentions & actions is the basis of the rest of the film.  

When I saw this film at it's opening in Westwood CA, the underwater cinematography was so compelling that I actually felt claustraphobic & almost had to leave the theater.  In it's original release, the film is fast paced, intense and a great story.  Until the ending, which could qualify as the lamest ending in film history; it was terrible, felt tacked on (like they ran out of money & quickly made something up) & rushed.  I hated the ending, and it killed the film for me; this was the universal complaint of viewers & critics alike.  I kept thinking "why the hell did they do this?"  Then I saw the directors cut with the additional 15 minutes the studio forced James Cameron to cut out (to fit the film into a more standard running time), and I knew why.  The extra minutes totally change the tone of the film, they give the UFO's aliens a depth of character that the orignal lacked, and the ending now makes a lot more sense.  This film was positioned to be a HUGE blockbuster, but it fell short; if they'd shown this version in the theaters, they would have made at least $50 million more in box office receipts, at a minimum.  Which is another reason why studio suits should never have final say on a project in which a director with vision like James Cameron is involved.

This film is a really good rental, as long as you rent the Special Directors Cut.  You'll like that version; if you rent the standard release, you're probably going to be pissed off & feel let down at the end.  I know I did.

8/10  

[Reply #248 on:]

Check out Aliens of the Deep if you haven't already. Gave me whole a new level of appreciation for The Abyss and Avatar (the scientists in Avatar are clearly based on the real-life scientists you meet in AoD). It reminded me alot of Werner Herzog's Encounters at the End of the World and The Wild Blue Yonder (very underrated btw. Maybe my favourite Herzog film). 

[Reply #249 on:]

1408

Not as good as the short story. I understand that the US releasehas a different ending. My two favourite bits were in there. The wolves on the Connecticut turnpike, and the numbers on the melting phone.

[Reply #250 on:]

Bunny Lake Is Missing



and don't forget Incest!

It might have being an ok movie if the ending wasn't so retarded.

C-

[Reply #251 on:]

The ending is slightly ambiguous, are the Spaniards the rescuers who will rid the world of an evil regime or to they just herald the arrival of a new oppressor?

Maybe both?  Kind of like in real life.



Seattlejohn, I had the good fortune to see the director's cut of The Abyss before ever seeing the other version.  I agree; the ending makes it a very different movie.  I'm not even sure what the point of the story was supposed to be without the director's cut ending.

[Reply #252 on:]

I understand that the US releasehas a different ending.

Show spoiler

I'm not sure which is which; the version I saw in the cinema has John Cusack's character getting out alive, but the DVD version has him die and remain in the room as a ghost. I preferred the cinema ending.

[Reply #253 on:]

jeez... what's wrong with long movies?

some of the best movies ever have been 3 hours or longer

Seven Samurai is in black & white.

[Reply #254 on:]

Apocalypto

Mad Mel's venture into the world of pre-conquest Mayans certainly isn't for the squeamish; it opens with a group of hunters killing and butchering a tapir then after a brief interlude where we are introduced the the hunters and their tribe the violence between the jungle hunters and the raiding party which has come to their area to capture people who are to be taken to the city to be sacrificed. If you are not squeamish however and like an adrenalin pumping action thriller with no obvious CGI in site then this is the film for you.

Show spoiler

After the initial killing of the tapir the hunting party are seen joking together, mostly at the expense of one of them who has yet to father a child, their joking stops when another group passes by telling them that their village has been ravaged. The hunters then return home to their own idyllic village. The peace is soon shattered when a large group of warriors attack the village and capture most of the adult population. Jaguar Paw, one of the hunters, manages to hide his pregnant wife and child in a well and almost kills Middle Eye, one of the raiding party. The leader of the warriors, Zero Wolf puts an end to the fight and won't let Middle Eye kill Jaguar, he doesn't stop him killing his father though. Tied together the villagers are taken out of the jungle to a city where the crops have failed and the people are suffering from a sickness. It is here that the reason for their capture becomes apparent; they are to be brutally sacrificed to appease the sun god Kukulkan. During the proceedings there is a solar eclipse and the priest announces that this is clearly a sign that Kukulkan has had enough blood. This doesn't mean freedom for Jaguar Paw and his compatriots though, they are taken off to be used for target practice. Jaguar Paw is wounded but when Zero Wolf approaches to dispatch him he uses the arrow tip to kill him before fleeing back to the jungle. With his son dead Zero Wolf is determined to be avenged and pursues Jaguar Paw into the jungle where his men are picked off one by one, either by nature or by Jaguar Paw himself. As their chase continues a storm begins so Jaguar Paw must get back to his village to rescue his wife and child from the well before they drown. The chase ends on a beach where the last two of the warriors are so shocked by the sight of Spanish ships that they stand transfixed while Jaguar Paw goes back and saves his wife. As the film ends they head into the jungle to start their lives anew.

The cast of mostly unknown actors did a great job especially Rudy Youngblood who played Jaguar Paw, he was in just about every scene and for most of the film was either running for his life or tied to a pole as he was led through the jungle. I wasn't surprised to find that Raoul Trujillo who plays Zero Wolf has a string of acting credits to his name as he brought a real presence to the role. The idea of making a Hollywood blockbuster in Mayan sounds insane but it really worked, the people wouldn't have felt half as real if they'd been speaking English. It was also great that there wasn't any obvious CGI involved, action films are always more exciting if it looks like people are actually doing the stunts we see. The ending is slightly ambiguous, are the Spaniards the rescuers who will rid the world of an evil regime or to they just herald the arrival of a new oppressor? I personally think it was intended as the latter.

9/10

Neat.  How did you know the names of the people and the sun god?

[Reply #255 on:]

I knew the names from watching the film... and checking IMDb and Wiki

[Reply #256 on:]

State Of Play
Adapted from a 6-part UK TV series that I missed, follows a newspaper reporter (Russell Crowe) investigating the death of a young woman and some random citizens in relation to his old friend, a congressman (Ben Affleck).
The congressman is also investigating a private defense contractor and shadowy evil corporation PointCorp and Crowe and his blogger sidekick (Rachel McAdams) eventually make the connection between the two and try to uncover a larger conspiracy.
Nice to see Crowe in a more muted role, actually scared of guys with guns and running away instead of trying to chop their heads off or something, and Ben Affleck isn't as annoying as I perceive him to be.
Very good conspiro-thriller!
A-

Oh what the hell:
The Secret Of Kells

Irish/Belgian animated film that got an Oscar nom (nom nom).
About a young monk Brendan in the old abbey of Kells, run by his uncle the abbot (Brendan Gleason) who meets an old monk who fled the evil Northmen (goddamn Vikings gtfo!) who are pillaging Ireland for gold and generally being raping pillaging assholes (don't show raping obviously, kids film).
The monk is carrying The Book of Iona, (the modern day Book of Kells), one of Western civilizations early calligraphic treasures from 800AD, and it's up to Brendan and his friends to save and complete the book.
The animation is fantastic, I'd describe it as a Celtic Samurai Jack (Tartakovsky) style, but much prettier.
The voice acting is kind of off because of the younger actors, and sometimes the older ones too.
Music by trad rock band Kíla is also pretty good.
A-

The Boat That Rocked (aka Pirate Radio)
Actually quite good, I read some bad reviews but there were some great bits, the mishmash of international comedy talent made sure of it!
Fun with a great soundtrack.
B+

[Reply #257 on:]

Shutter Island
It had too many loud music jumpy moments and screaming. But otherwise I guess it had you wondering what the hell was going on for a good while, even if you did have a fair idea, you had no idea how it was going to get there..unless you'd read the novel, which none of us had.
Mark Ruffalo is handsome.

7/10ish

[Reply #258 on:]

I love that Scorsese seems to be turning back into crazy 80s Scorsese, after a decade of boring middle-brow Scorsese.

[Reply #259 on:]

4-D man should be called boring man.

[Reply #260 on:]

12 Monkeys

What the hell just happened?

A

[Reply #261 on:]

Speaking of Scorsese,

The Departed

What a great bloodbath drama.  Sometimes I felt like I was watching some kind of urban King Lear.  I'm not sure how much of the film was gallows humor, but several times I found myself laughing out loud at the ridiculous amount of violence.  Scorsese says this is the only film he'd made with a plot.  What a plot indeed.  I think I'd like to see the Chinese original (Infernal Affairs) before I call it brilliant.

12 Monkeys

What the hell just happened?

A

Awesome just happened.

[Reply #262 on:]

$5
Books
Infernal Affairs
Pretentious, snobby, faggy opinion.

Bet?

|
|
v

[Reply #263 on:]

...EH!?!

[Reply #264 on:]

THE HURT LOCKER

Arrogant characters, grim-as-fuck environment. The body bomb scene fucked with me for some reason. And then the suicide bomber, JEZUS.

I loved the ending in the supermarket two seconds after being in combat. He's looking at cereal and you know he just wants to go nuts at his bitch ex-wife. When she asks him to cut up some carrots later on I wished he just throat-punched her right there. But the whole ending, the mundane nature of life and his shitty home life makes us want him to go back into combat because there's just nothing for him outside of it, so I guess that's the 'war is a drug', a rush, something to distract himself.

GRIM MOVIE. B+

[Reply #265 on:]

Yeah I thought that one was pretty good. The sniper scene was a bit ridiculous though. I'd love to see some dirt bag insurgent that could actually out-shoot the fucking SAS.

[Reply #266 on:]

A lot of veterans hated it, they said it was too unrealistic. Eat a dick, guys. It's a fictional movie for the masses.

Still cool that they filmed it in Jordan with real Iraqi refugees as extras. Apparently the actors were pelted with rocks and shit from them. And there was a lot of tension & fighting behind-scenes between everyone. COOL

[Reply #267 on:]

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Theif

I'm a sucker for Greek Mythology

A-

[Reply #268 on:]

Dodgeball - A True Underdog Story

Written & directed by first timer Rawson Thurber, this film stars Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller & a cast of great character actors.  The film centers around the conflict between Average Joe's gym (owned by the Vince Vaughn character) and Globogym (owned by Ben Stiller's character).  Vince Vaughn's character has to raise $50,000 or lose his gym to Globogym.  So, he enters a team of his gym members in the US Dodgeball Championships.

This film is hilarious and is a worthy successor to Animal House & Caddyshack in the "slob comedy" catagory.  Great writing, characters you root for and some of the most off the wall dialog you've ever heard.  It's a great rental for 2 hours of laughs.

9/10 

[Reply #269 on:]

Aww, Steve the Pirate! Arr!

Actually that's all I can really remember from that movie

[Reply #270 on:]

Globogyme? What's a Globogyme?

[Reply #271 on:]

Oh, gyme.

[Reply #272 on:]

Miracle

Based on the story of the United States 1980 Olympic Gold Medal Hockey Team, this film focuses on the team's coach, Herb Brooks (played by Kurt Russell), and his struggle to turn his group of young college hockey players into a team that would challenge the professional hockey players of the Soviet Team.  I expected the standard sports film, but this film is much more than that.  An historical perspective & context is put on the time period (the US was in a crushing recession & the Iranian Embassey hostages had just been taken), showing just how important the team's efforts were for the country.  Individual players are also highlighted, and you get to know the kids that played on the team. 

This is Kurt Russell's best acting work by far.  He plays Herb Brooks with a restrained fury, and shows the conflict he feels in wanting to be part of the team (he was the last player cut from the 1960 US Olympic Hockey Team & carries that emotional scar just below the surface), yet having to remain aloof as the head coach.  The film is surprisingly emotional, as you become invested in the characters & want them to succeed.  The climax of the film is the famous semi-final match between the US team and the Soviet Union, and the game is a great sequence.  I really enjoyed this film, and I recommend it bigtime.  A definite rental.

9/10

[Reply #273 on:]

My review of Pineapple Express: the first 20 mins looked promising and was funny and just went down hill from there on. also I went to sleep in the middle of the movie. The end.

[Reply #274 on:]

Aww, Steve the Pirate! Arr!

Actually that's all I can really remember from that movie

"It's like watching a bunch of retards try to fuck a doorknob."

Best line in the film.

[Reply #275 on:]

Aww, Steve the Pirate! Arr!

Actually that's all I can really remember from that movie

"It's like watching a bunch of retards try to fuck a doorknob."

Best line in the film.

"I feel shocked!" -Jason Batemen was my favorite character in that movie.

[Reply #276 on:]

There's so many great lines in that film.

Cotton McKnight: We haven't seen Average Joe's yet. They haven't made it to the court. It could be a psychological ploy, or something worse.
Pepper Brooks: They're definitely not on the court, Cotton. Their absence is noticeable.
Cotton McKnight: I'm being told that Average Joe's does not have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match.
Pepper Brooks: It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em.

Cotton McKnight: It's time to separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian.

Cotton McKnight: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!

[Reply #277 on:]

  9

It was okay but could (should) have been better. The visuals were good but once again we have a CGI movie that was let down by the writing (i.e. plot, character development, etc).

The ending was a bit unsatisfying and it left me with a number of unanswered questions which I'm sort of scared to try and resolve because I suspect I will find a plot hole, logic flaw, or some other sort of inconsistency.

Rating: B–

[Reply #278 on:]

The Innocents

That movie scared the crap out of me last night. One of the best evil child/children movies ever.

A

[Reply #279 on:]

Ten Canoes
Aboriginal storytelling by Rolf de Heer (perhaps not well known but he also directed the extremely fucked up Bad Boy Bubby).
The narrator opens with "Once upon a time, in a place far far away... no not like that! Haha!" was a reference I didn't expect, but it drew me in anyway.
He proceeds to tell a story within a story of a tribe of native Australians and their ancestors who live on a swamp in the northern territories of Australia, hunting and gathering and building canoes, coveting their older brothers wives and interacting with other tribes.
Very simple storytelling with nice scenery shots and some good characters.

B+