Films not to see before you die

[on:]

The crapyest movies ever made to not waste two hours of your life seeing like:

Dude, Where's my car?
Boat Trip
and
Bio-dome!

[Reply #1 on:]

Stuart Little (1 & 2), it's about a mouse :

[Reply #2 on:]

Most remakes aren't wort seeing.

[Reply #3 on:]

Mr & Mrs Smith *yawn*

Theres loads, I just cant think of any :

[Reply #4 on:]

Benchwarmers
The New Guy
White Chicks
War of the Worlds (2005 edition)

[Reply #5 on:]

Nooooo! Dude, Where's My Car rocks! And I'm not even kidding here.

"Chey are noch ouchfitch- chey are incherschellar chumpsuits!"

[Reply #6 on:]

What about Howard The Duck or (dare I say it) Battlefield  Earth.

[Reply #7 on:]

I found White Chicks hilarious.

The Highlander and Jaws Sequals. Staaaaay awaaaay!

[Reply #8 on:]

White Chicks was alright.

[Reply #9 on:]

Titanic
The Breakfast Club
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Shaun of the Dead
Pearl Harbor
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Edward Scissorhands
Any of the Lord of the Rings movies
Patch Adams

[Reply #10 on:]

 

Originally posted by Blackadder11:
The Breakfast Club
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Shaun of the Dead
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Any of the Lord of the Rings movies

Wrong thread. You want the "Awesome movies you should buy right now" thread. You want it, or I want to slap you. Hard.

Pick one.

[Reply #11 on:]

 

Originally posted by totalnerduk:
 Wrong thread. You want the "Awesome movies you should buy right now" thread. You want it, or I want to slap you. Hard.

Pick one.

What would be the point of this thread if everyone just picked generic "Scary Movie" type movies? I picked ones that, although I'll concede aren't the worst ever, I found to be poorly plotted, executed, and boring. The ones being cheered as the ones to see are the ones worth warning to avoid.

[Reply #12 on:]

Pikka, Pikka! You've shown exemplurary taste so far! Don't ruin it now!


For the record, never, EVER watch Ultraviolet. It sucks beyond all previous reckoning of sucking.

[Reply #13 on:]

 

Originally posted by Blackadder11:
 What would be the point of this thread if everyone just picked generic "Scary Movie" type movies? I picked ones that, although I'll concede aren't the worst ever, I found to be poorly plotted, executed, and boring. The ones being cheered as the ones to see are the ones worth warning to avoid.

So you think all of those movies are worth avoiding? Wouldn't the moral majority disagree with you? I will.

As for movies not to see, Hallow Man. Not really a movie that matters or anything, it just made me loathe and hate Kevin Bacon to death.

[Reply #14 on:]

 

Originally posted by Spacedal11:
 So you think all of those movies are worth avoiding? Wouldn't the moral majority disagree with you? I will.

If you want to turn a discussion of quality into a popularity contest, George Lucas, James Cameron, and Jerry Bruckheimer would win every time.

Obviously, any of my opinions are going to be subjective, and I realize this. These are simply films I found to be horribly overrated, which by no means keeps you or anyone else from enjoying them.

[Reply #15 on:]

Oh!

Battlefield Earth and Pearl Harbour.

[Reply #16 on:]

 

Originally posted by SlackJawedMoron:
For the record, never, EVER watch Ultraviolet. It sucks beyond all previous reckoning of sucking.

Too late....I saw it.

Excuse me while I gouge my eyes out with an ice-cream scoop.

[Reply #17 on:]

A lot of new movies put together solely for the purpose of making money are crap nowadays the old classics rule I think which actually provide a story and entertainment!

[Reply #18 on:]

Bullshit. Plenty of old movies sucked the proverbial. You just don't heat about them these days 'cause, y'know, they were kind of forgotten. Conversely, there are plenty of decent contemporary movies floating around, if you know where to look. Hell, even Hollywood occasionally releases something worthwhile.

[Reply #19 on:]

... like?

A whole lot of black & white films suck ballz. Most do quite well at that. Nostalgia and classical romanticism is overrated (shut up, M0le: The Ferals sucked fucking arse!). It's like loving Led Zeppelin because they were influential or some crap: Sure, they influenced a billion bands, but their music isn't for everyone and most of the bands that were influenced by them are now cranking out some kick arse tunes that blow the proverbial colon-wash out of Plant's squealing arsehole.

Anyway, my point is: Just because it's old doesn't mean it's good. I'd say most old black & white films suck, and I just already did if you've got amnesia or swallowed a wrench or something, because they're not as interesting as today's films. I don't think Boise Moi would have been able to be made in the 1940s. I'm also not saying that all old films suck, either: Nosferatu, some Boris Karloff films and some other really sappy love-story ones I use to watch on TCM when I had cable which I really don't want to get into right now because it could further damage my manhood - particulary after I came out about 'Gilmore Girls' being my favourite TV show (Futurama was replaced, get over it. Times change, people change, people's needs change. I like the show, it provides me with laughs, drama and great dialog - get the fuck over it. Futurama will always be there though, like an enclosed ear-ring hole and the little ball-like-object inside the lobe is ever so present even if you took your ear-rings out 10 years ago  )

Damn I'm tired. Too much sex. 'Night.

[Reply #20 on:]

WOULD YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE FREAKING GILMORE GIRLS ALREADY! 

Haha, but seriously, I don't care.

Zardoz. Don't see it. Sean Connery gets his giblets out in it.
*holds you back* THE CURIOSITY ISN'T WORTH IT!

[Reply #21 on:]

 

Originally posted by Ribbons:
... like?

A whole lot of black & white films suck ballz. Most do quite well at that. Nostalgia and classical romanticism is overrated (shut up, M0le: The Ferals sucked fucking arse!). It's like loving Led Zeppelin because they were influential or some crap: Sure, they influenced a billion bands, but their music isn't for everyone and most of the bands that were influenced by them are now cranking out some kick arse tunes that blow the proverbial colon-wash out of Plant's squealing arsehole.

Anyway, my point is: Just because it's old doesn't mean it's good. I'd say most old black & white films suck, and I just already did if you've got amnesia or swallowed a wrench or something, because they're not as interesting as today's films. I don't think Boise Moi would have been able to be made in the 1940s. I'm also not saying that all old films suck, either: Nosferatu, some Boris Karloff films and some other really sappy love-story ones I use to watch on TCM when I had cable which I really don't want to get into right now because it could further damage my manhood - particulary after I came out about 'Gilmore Girls' being my favourite TV show (Futurama was replaced, get over it. Times change, people change, people's needs change. I like the show, it provides me with laughs, drama and great dialog - get the fuck over it. Futurama will always be there though, like an enclosed ear-ring hole and the little ball-like-object inside the lobe is ever so present even if you took your ear-rings out 10 years ago    )

Damn I'm tired. Too much sex. 'Night.

No nooo, lol I don't mean that classic I mean movies say 1970-1995 that were actually made to be entertaining and you can remember with ore, while nowadays there is a lot of rubish churned out every second purely about sex or something just to get appeal and is crap to watch...

[Reply #22 on:]

Shaun of the Dead is great, a class example of British Comedy...however, I express dislike at the fact that its about zombies. I HATE zombies. This film gave me nightmares. :

[Reply #23 on:]

I express dislike that there are movies that aren't about zombies.

Take any movie, add zombies, and it will be at least 20% better.

[Reply #24 on:]

Shaun of the dead rocks!

OK This is my worst movies I seen:

The Fantastic 4
The Dukes of Hazards
Robots
Harry Potter
X-Men 3: The Last Stand
Revolver
The Ant Bully
 
I got more worst movies, but I'm tired of listing them.

[Reply #25 on:]

Now I am struck with a problem, the film I will list is possibly the worst film ever made (looks like it was made on the budget of a fun sized mars bar) but I would still say see it just because it is so bad it is funny.

Clash of the Warlords

Brief synopisis as it does not appear on IMDB.

The Opening is is still frame of an atom bomb explosion, if it was not for the music I would have sworn the video had got stuck. this goes on for over a minuet. Then the film goes into some kind of distopian future with roaming bands of bad guys. the main bad guy has half a metal face and goes crazy on a full moon (the fin part of this is when they do the "full moon" sceen the shot pans up continously and shows it is a cresent moon)

The film also includes a psudo light sabre fight, the effect for which was almost ceratinly achived by running a crayon over the film.

This is the worst film and must be seen.

A bad film that should be missed is Freddy got fingered.

[Reply #26 on:]

- White Chicks - i know someone already said this but this probably is the worst film i've ever seen
- Inspector Gadget
- Cabin Fever
- Birth

I'm sure there are others but these were pure brain filth.

[Reply #27 on:]

 

Originally posted by Wooter:
I express dislike that there are movies that aren't about zombies.

Take any movie, add zombies, and it will be at least 20% better.

I disagree. All Quiet In The Western Front would suck if the dead guys came back from the dead as flesh eating zombies.

[Reply #28 on:]

A WWI german zombie movie seems like a good idea to me.

[Reply #29 on:]

That would make a great movie.

[Reply #30 on:]

Not a good anti-war message, go to war! die horribly! become a zombie afterwards!

[Reply #31 on:]

Black Christmas. I just remember Saran wrap or something to that extent that wrapped a corpse in a rocking chair. Definitely among the big horror movie letdowns.

[Reply #32 on:]

Nurdbot: But that's what happens. Kind of like in Pet Semetary. EXACTLY like.

 

No nooo, lol I don't mean that classic I mean movies say 1970-1995 that were actually made to be entertaining and you can remember with ore, while nowadays there is a lot of rubish churned out every second purely about sex or something just to get appeal and is crap to watch...

That's what happened in the 7/8/90s too, hunny pie. Nothing has changed except the budgets, technology and less critisizm of homosexuals in films. There's three sides of the film industry: The money making side. The artistic side. And the side where they make fun of the other two. It's always been this way and forever will be.

Stop being nostalgiac and go look elsewhere from Hollywood.

[Reply #33 on:]

I'd rather jab a spork into my eye then rewatch Fight Club and Blair Witch

[Reply #34 on:]

All shockingly BAD movies

Sky captain, the world of tomorrow - Brain hurts with the stupidity of this movie.
ET, The Extra Terrestrial - Hated it when I was a kid and still hate it now.
Ultraviolet - no comment, just so bad.
Passions of the christ - I'm not religious or anything, I just found it boring and stupid.
AVP ("Aliens vs Predator" ) - avoid at all costs

And...

Pinata Survival Island - So bad its good and you have to see it.

[Reply #35 on:]

Do not see She's the Man. It sucks more than a prostitute. I didnt watch it cos I'm a man, but my sisters rented and watched it three times each. It drove my insane. Hence the reason why I'm here.

[Reply #36 on:]

-Stepford Wives remake: Hmm how come every Nicole movie I've seen, I really hated the movie? I did like her in the Stepford Wives, but that movie just fucking sucked.
However,

-Batman Forever: Meh, I only watched for my man, Jim Carrey. But dude, I hated Kidman, total slutbag whore.

-Bewitched: Why I wanted to see this instead of Madagascar is beyond me. Kidman's acting was poopy in this movie, and I never laughed. I did however love the opening sequence. (Not the cartoon stuff, just the flying around California with 'City of Love' playing in the background).

-Harry Potter 3. Yes, it hurts me to say because not only am I dissing my love for Daniel Radcliffe, I'm also dissing my favorite Harry Potter book. I remember seeing it in theaters with my sister once, buying it, and never opening the DVD until last spring because I thought a friend was going to come over and we were gonna watch all of them.

Yeah I can't talk about Batman Forever without not mentioning it's predicessor, Batman and Robin. Sorry Clooney.

-The Incredibles: (ok Blackadder11, we're even). I found it overrated and retarded. Never got into it. I liked Nemo though. Yeah but this...just bleh. I'll be honest that last 10 minutes with the little baby beating up the bad guy did make me laugh. But I was trying really hard to fall asleep.

-Just Married: I did not watch this by choice. Me and my friends were having a sleepover for one reason or another. 4 out of the 5 of us REFUSED to watch this, but no, the one who wanted to said it was hilarious, so goddamn funny. Ashton Kutcher threw a ball, a dog chased it and flew out a window, getting hit by a car. Not funny. Ever.

-Halloween Ressurection: Crap de la crap. And I really hated this cause Halloween is one of my favorite horror series. And it's not the funny cheesy crap that you get a guilty pleasure out of watching like Nightmare on Elm Street 2 and up (cept for 3 and 7, those were good).

-The Majestic: Yeah. The ONLY Jim Carrey movie that I really just didn't like. Me being a big fan, had to watch it, was bored out of my skulls and ready to shoot the next person in the film who whispered every damn thing they said.

[Reply #37 on:]

Going Overboard.

I can honestly say that it's the worst movie I have ever seen, and I've seen quite a few. It was honestly the only time I watched a movie, and really felt like I had wasted an hour or so of my life by the end.

I have no idea how someone can call the Lord of the Rings trilogy movies to avoid. I know that it's a subjective opinion, but it smacks of someone subscribing to the idea that everything popular sucks. I call it, "A lot of people like these movies, so I'm going to tell everyone that they suck just to be difficult because I'm an elitist prick," syndrom. Offense intended, Blackaddler. Lots of it. With poop on top.

[Reply #38 on:]

Never, ever see:

The Cat In the Hat- Two words best describe it: Terrible. saw it with my family on my brother's birthday a few years ago, and boy, that was the only movie ever that I fell asleep through.
Zoom-Jeez, you could cut through the cheesiness in this movie with a knife. The message at the end was 'we're not just a team, we're a family.' The only part  laughed was at the end when they said that; the awfulness was hilarious.
White Chicks-Sorry people, I just didn't find it funny. There were maybe one or two parts where I chuckled, but that doesn't cut it.
Has any one ever said all of the Chucky movies? God, are they lousy. Definately some of the worst 'horror' movies yu will ever see.

[Reply #39 on:]

Brokeback Mountain

Where was the pudding?