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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    Off Topic    It's got a TV!    Best Seinfeld Quotes « previous next »
: Best Seinfeld Quotes  (Read 2412 times)
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Hawk

Professor
*
« : 01-24-2002 11:05 »

Here you can post some Seinfeld Quotes!
I got some:

George: You lesbian, if you are going to dance, Who leads?

New one:
Kramers mother: Cosmo?!?
Newman: Kramer! We were......We..... Cosmo?!?
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« #1 : 01-24-2002 19:44 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Hawk:
Here you can post some Seinfeld Quotes!
I got some:

George: You lesbian, if you are going to dance, Who leads?

New one:
Kramers mother: Cosmo?!?
Newman: Kramer! We were......We..... Cosmo?!?


Heh. Badly-translated Seinfeld quotes are funny.
Ricky

Liquid Emperor
**
« #2 : 01-25-2002 05:47 »

Kramer at the lawyer's office, making a settlement in the "too hot coffee" case.

"We're prepared to offer you free coffee at our restaurants for the rest of your life, and..."

Kramer interrupts: "I'll take it!"
FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« #3 : 01-25-2002 06:01 »

Jerry: What does a barometer do, anyway?

Kramer: It's pronounced "thermometer".

--------------

Kramer: What kind of street intersects with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!

-------------

Jerry: Birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year's gone by and how little we've grown. That for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably. Happy birthday? There's no such thing.

[not an exact quote, but still funny]
M. Proctor

Starship Captain
****
« #4 : 01-25-2002 10:53 »

The Seinfeld gang in the plain:

George: Jerry! I got to tell you something! I cheated on the test!!
Jerry: You cheated!?!? Why!?!
George: Because I'm a cheater!!!!
Just Chris

Urban Legend
***
« #5 : 01-26-2002 11:14 »

"Your name is Cosmo?"
"If I were to have a son, I would name him Isoceles."
"Serenity now, insanity later"
"Don't give me the 'it's not you, it's me' routine. If it's anybody, it's me."
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« #6 : 01-26-2002 21:54 »

"For I am George Costanza: King of the Idiots."
Hawk

Professor
*
« #7 : 01-27-2002 10:27 »

Jerry complains about his car because it smells:
It's the car! It's the beast.
M. Proctor

Starship Captain
****
« #8 : 01-27-2002 10:53 »

"Believe it or not
George isn't at home
please leave a message
at the beep
I must be out or I'd pick up the phone
where could I be?
Believe it or not I'm not home!"

"George is getting upset!!!"


FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« #9 : 01-27-2002 15:34 »

Once again, I can't remember the correct quote at all...but it's still funny:

"No! I meant 'phoney' in a good way! It's the new slang word...haven't you ever heard kids say 'man, that Michael Jordan is so phoney!'?"
Hawk

Professor
*
« #10 : 01-28-2002 09:18 »

Kramer is moving in.

Jerry: Want some pizza?
Kamer: No...........
Jerry: We're nabers, every thing that is mine, is yours!
FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« #11 : 01-28-2002 14:18 »

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister!
Binder

Starship Captain
****
« #12 : 01-28-2002 15:51 »

hehe, he said naber
joey

Crustacean
*
« #13 : 01-29-2002 10:37 »

Helllllllo Jerry........
Helllllllo Newman.......
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« #14 : 01-29-2002 17:54 »

"There was... shrinkage."
FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« #15 : 01-29-2002 21:06 »

"If I reached out and grabbed her breast right now, she'd slap me and throw me out of the car. But tomorrow I can touch it all I want! It's amazing...it's like joining an exclusive club. I'm still the same person, but the 'no trespassing' sign is gone."
M. Proctor

Starship Captain
****
« #16 : 01-31-2002 09:26 »

GET OUT!!!!
joey

Crustacean
*
« #17 : 01-31-2002 11:58 »

Jerry: Want some pizza?
Kamer: No...........
Jerry: We're nabers, every thing that is mine, is yours!
FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« #18 : 01-31-2002 14:09 »

Are you just copying and pasting other peoples posts? You are a weird, strange little man.
Drippy_taco

Professor
*
« #19 : 01-31-2002 14:13 »

Looks like we have another meisterPOOP on our hands...
rach_the_tall

Space Pope
****
« #20 : 02-01-2002 00:53 »

Heh, seinfeld.
" They send crazy people like that to Australia!"
M. Proctor

Starship Captain
****
« #21 : 02-01-2002 09:13 »

"Gidyup!"
"Hoochie mama"
Hawk

Professor
*
« #22 : 02-01-2002 10:34 »

A woman thinks George and Jerry are gay.
Jerry: We're not gay!
George: Yeah, we were joking!
Lady: I heard what you sead!
*Kramer is coming in*
Kramer: Hey, wanna go to the tub?
Jerry: No, I don't think so......
Kramer: I don't wanna sit there naked all by my self!!
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« #23 : 02-01-2002 23:55 »

Jimmy doesn't like you!

Moops!
Moors!
FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« #24 : 02-02-2002 12:31 »

Kramer(in a sauna): It's like a sauna in here.
---------
George: The jerk store called--they're running out of you!
Guy: Why would they need me? You're their best seller.
George: ...I had sex with your wife!
Other Guy: George, his wife's in a coma.
Just Chris

Urban Legend
***
« #25 : 02-03-2002 00:41 »

Elaine: She's not spongeworthy.

George: (slowly) Why do they...call it Ovaltine? They should call it...Roundtine!
Supervisor: He's my protége.
FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« #26 : 02-03-2002 21:28 »

"That's gotta hurt!"
Ninaka

commandant cleavage
DOOP Secretary
*
« #27 : 02-05-2002 23:13 »

*said in an entirely apathetic manner* "Oh that's a shame"
Usually continued with "Anyway..." and continued conversation over the matter... heh  :)
rach_the_tall

Space Pope
****
« #28 : 02-07-2002 05:16 »

hehe, seinfeld is funny  :)
"We're not gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that."
M. Proctor

Starship Captain
****
« #29 : 02-07-2002 11:18 »

"The dingo ate your baby."
Hawk

Professor
*
« #30 : 02-07-2002 11:25 »

George: Who goes to superbowl with there mailman?!?
Jerry: Who goes anywhere with Newman!?!
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« #31 : 02-07-2002 17:15 »

Jerry: What do you do, anyway?
Newman: I'm a US Postal Worker.
Elaine: Aren't those the guys who go nuts and kill everybody?
Newman: Sometimes...
Elaine: Why's that?
Newman: Because the mail never stops!
M. Proctor

Starship Captain
****
« #32 : 02-08-2002 02:16 »

Newman: when you control the mail, you control information.
Hawk

Professor
*
« #33 : 02-08-2002 09:14 »

Jerry: What's the deal with canser?
Somebody: I've got canser!
M. Proctor

Starship Captain
****
« #34 : 02-08-2002 09:40 »

Elaine almost crying: I l-like the move

And: I cant come at the movie
Just Chris

Urban Legend
***
« #35 : 02-09-2002 11:10 »

Newman: But remember, when you control the mail, you control...information.
Jerry: If I like their race, how can I be racist?
George leaving a message to Jerry: Hey, it's George, I've got nothing to say.
M. Proctor

Starship Captain
****
« #36 : 02-10-2002 05:40 »

Hellooooooooooo!!!
rach_the_tall

Space Pope
****
« #37 : 02-11-2002 07:45 »

Oh...I'm stressed! :funny hand movevment:
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« #38 : 02-11-2002 09:14 »

"War and Peace" was originally going to be called "War, What is it Good For?"
Hawk

Professor
*
« #39 : 02-11-2002 12:13 »

Song: War. Oh-ah. What is it good for? Absolutly nothing.... etc.

Uncle Leo: Will sombody answer that damn phone!
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