Movie Review Thread V: Electric Bugaloo

[Reply #400 on:]

Teaching Mrs. Tingle

An enjoyable teen movie, albeit exceptionally predictable and suffering from the horror/suspense genre's "the protagonists are fucking idiots" cliché.  The old lady gets props for being a great manipulator, although manipulating a high school student's emotions is like shooting fish in a barrel anyway.  I'm also pleasantly surprised that the conclusion made sense, which seemed more and more unlikely as the movie progressed.

"B?  I don't think so."

TOTP Crossbow

[Reply #401 on:]

What the heck is the deal with The Wicker Man?

You know how there are all those old "classic" movies that you think about occasionally, and probably know the plot of because it was spoofed on The Simpsons or something and you know you ought to just rent the DVD already and learn something for once? Well The remake is being promoted all over the place so that got me wanting to see the original (supposedly the original is good and the remake is crap - shock!). Well the original is.... weird. It weirded me out in the bad way (like weird, cheesy nakedness) and creeped me out in the creepy way (I have a fear of being murdered). Anyone else seen this? Kinda depressing message, really.

[Reply #402 on:]

Invincible

Little stream of conciousness review here.

It's Marky Mark!  With bad hair!  If Elizabeth Banks is half the football geek she plays she is disgustingly hot, if in need of a Philly cheesesteak or two a bit.  Dear sweet jeebus it's The Vet.  I forgot how UGLY that building was.  Too much training camp, not enough football.  Stupid Cowboys.  A lot darker and grittier than most inspirational sports movies.  Greg Kinnear could have been Dick Vermeil's twin.  E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES.  Wait, it's over already?

B/B-

[Reply #403 on:]

VF: You don't get naked and put cheese on yourself?

More shock!

Christopher Lee is scary enough when he's not in a murdery horror.

[Reply #404 on:]

Withnail & I

The quality of this movie speaks from straight dilogue:

"Hair are your areils they detect signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly to your brain.  This is the reason bald headed men are uptight."

"The carrot has mystery.  Flowers are essentially tarts.  Prostitues for the bees."

"Look at my tongue.  It's wearing a yellow sock."

"I want something's flesh!"

"Balls!  We want the finest wines available to humanity.  We want them here, and we want them now!"

"If you think you are going to have a weekends indulgance up here at his expense, which means him having a weekends indulgance up here at my expense you've got another thing coming."

"They don't like me being on stage."
"Then they must be delighted with your career."

"We've gone on holiday by mistake."

Wayne...For person of the year.

Thank you.

A

[Reply #405 on:]

YES!  I knew you'd love it from the moment we started quoting it in NJ.

But you forgot:

"As a youth I used to weep in butchers shops"

"Monty, you terrible cunt!"

"Let's get home lads, the sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be force to camp!"

"Don't threaten me with a dead fish!"

"Warm up?  We may as well sit around a cigarette."

"Cool your boots man, this pill's worth two quid."

And so on, and so on....

Best Brit movie ever, and a huge cult classic over here.

Once again, glad you liked it.

   

[Reply #406 on:]

Freddy 3-7 with the exception of the 6th one

3rd one was awesome cept Nancy died. 4 & 5 made me laugh, cause of the cheesiness. I skipped 6 because 4 and 5 bored me too much so I just went on to the 7th one. I liked that one too. So basically...I'm a Freddy fan. Check it out on myspace! 

[Reply #407 on:]

The Producers

You know what?  I'm not doing a proper review.  Just watch the damn movie already.

A+

[Reply #408 on:]

Clerks II

10 years on and Kevin Smith returns to the thing he did best, making a movie about Clerks.  This time, Dante and Randal are at a Mooby's Fast Food joint due to the Quick Stop burning down.

It's more of the same, Dante is put-upon, Randal cracks-wise, and Jay & Silent Bob are still dealing.

There are a few new characters, namely, Becky the Mooby's manager, and Elias the religious LOTR/Transformers nerd.

The dialogue is fresh, highlights are Randals rant against Lord Of The Rings, a genius "Silence Of The Lambs" reference, "pillow pants" and the climactic Donkey Show.

Great, fans will love it.  And I do.

9/10

[Reply #409 on:]

Just saw an old movie I had forgotten existed:

"Moving", staring Richard Pryor.

Amazingly, it seems to have held up pretty well, unlike so many commedies I rememeber from my youth. I had completely forgotten that Dana Carvey was in it, too.

"I gave him the wrong finger!" - classic.

7/10.

[Reply #410 on:]

Clerks II
Wow, glad I saw this. I laughed just as hard as I did at the first one. Kevin Smith is a genius.

9.5
Great, but not as great as the first one.

[Reply #411 on:]

Little Miss Sunshine

Take a standard family road movie.  Make the characters interesting.  ?????.  Profit.  An intellectual take on an old formula, I laughed, I "aww"ed, I realized that Steve Carrel can act, and not just like a retard.

I did get more of a kick out of making fun of the yuppies I was sharing an independent theater with, though.

B

[Reply #412 on:]

Talladega Nights: Ballad Of Ricky Bobby

Full of quotes like Anchorman, so it's pretty damn good. I was aware of myself laughing out loud a few times, so it was good!

A-

The Batman Superman Movie

Batman... check
Superman... check
Joker and Harley Quinn... check
Only problem is it could have been longer.

B+

I need Batman: The Animated series.. to the internet!!

[Reply #413 on:]

V is for Vendetta

It was like 1984 but with building blowing up, also 1984 was way better. They also toke some lines from 1984. Other than that it was ok, better than the matrix movies.

C

and

Hostel

is a "gross" waste of screen space and the ending should have had something more.

F-

[Reply #414 on:]

Crank

Okay, so the writing isn't Shakespeare, but good action, and an awesome job in editing.

Also, Amy Smart 

B

[Reply #415 on:]

 

Originally posted by homerjaysimpson:
V is for Vendetta

It was like 1984 but with building blowing up, also 1984 was way better. They also toke some lines from 1984. Other than that it was ok, better than the matrix movies.

C

Check out the graphic novel its even better

[Reply #416 on:]

 

Originally posted by Zogonif:
 Check out the graphic novel its even better

Or check out Terry Gilliam's Brazil, which can kick even the graphic novel's ass any day.

[Reply #417 on:]

Finally got around to seeing Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

The Good:

• Unashamed fanservice (not the sexual kind)
• Such very, very pretty graphics
• A better version of Matrix Revolution's last battle.
• Suitably creepy badguys.  "Where's mother?"
• The Turks, although it needed more Elena.
• The music, from the rock version of Everyone's Favorite Boss Battle Music to Kadaj's sidekick's extremely appropriate ringtone.

The Bad:

• Gringo voice acting, particularly on the minor characters.  Should've watched it subbed.  Still better than most imports.
• Speaking of minor characters, most of the majors from the game were underused, showing up for one fight and then sort of standing around for the climax.
• I mean seriously, Aeris had more camera time than most of the living party members (spoilers, btw).
  
• Most of the other things that annoyed me can be dismissed as "it's animé," e.g. over-the-top unending fights, severe emoness, and mediocre dialogue.

The Ugly:

• Bahamut.  Seriosuly, the thing looked like the bad guy from an episode of Power Rangers.  Then again, if CGI is good enough to look like a guy in a rubber suit, that's saying something.  I guess.

"Dilly Dally Shilly Shally."

7.5/10

[Reply #418 on:]

DOA: Dead or Alive

Plot? Hello? You can come out now! 

Yeah, it was pretty silly, but I had a good laugh. It had Jaime Pressley fighting her "Dad" on a raft (he let her win, what a sport, my Dad doesn't even let me win 20 Questions) and some damn silly fights with a LOT of booberidge.

Pretty much verbatim quote:
Nerd guy: *punches a soldier in the face and saves his babe*
His babe: Wow! Thanks!
Nerd guy: *on the verge of tears* Ow, that really hurt! I'm NOT doing THAT again!

The Good: The close-ups of the ladies' heaving chests 

The Bad: They did it for the men too 

The Ugly: SO MUCH PURPLE 

D

[Reply #419 on:]

Hard Candy

The good: The pedo guy got killed and it shows the dangers of the internet.

The Bad: They shouldn't have made him a real pedo. It makes the girl look even more crazy and it would have been a better film. They could have also taken the girl isn't real route too.

The Ugly:
Most of the film was some guy being "castrated".

D

[Reply #420 on:]

Gremlins 2

I've never seen the first one but I somehow knew the rules of the Gremlins better than the characters... a real-life Gremlin mystery? 

It was nice and funny, John Glover was great as the boss, and the Brain Gremlin and the Femlin were wicked Gremlins, I was honestly torn between them as my favourites.

Don't EVER watch this before going to bed. Not that it was scary, but I was this close to having a wet dream about the Femlin. 

A

Control-room guy: *mocking the Gremlin rules* What if he ate before midnight, but he had a crumb stuck between his teeth and it fell out at midnight? Hahahaha - AAUUUUUGHHH!!!! *Gremlin leaps through his console at his face*

[Reply #421 on:]

Well, I had heard the first season of the radio series before I saw this movie, but I wanted to become as well versed as possible before reviewing it. At this point, I've heard the radio series, watched the TV series, read the book, played through the game, and seen the movie. So now that I'm familar with 5 different versions of this story I will finally review...

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

I liked the changes which the movie got a lot of flak for. I have to get this out of the way. I liked Zaphod's new design, the added side trips, and other such changes. Change is good, especially ones this imaginative. There are so many different versions of this story, some similar, some radically different, and like the others this one was written wholey by Douglas Adams. It was the last one he wrote before he died. The only changes made form his final version of the screen play were minor touchups to make the story flow better, and impromtu lines from the cast (Ex: Sam Rockwell's "Wooo! Come on!" ). Indeed, this movie, changes and all, is a sort of culmination of over 20 years of revising, editing, and rewriting.

Now, this is not my favourite version of Hitchhiker's Guide. That honor belongs to the original radio series, but I relly think that it deserves much more praise than it has gotten since it came out.

However, I do think that this is easily the most imaginative version of part 1 of Hitchhiker's Guide, and it deserves a lot of credit for that. To me, it almost seemed like Douglas Adams final gift to his fans, and it easily ranks into my top 10 or 20 movies of all time, and I feel a huge sense of loss by the end of the film knowing that Douglas couldn't finish up an entire series of movies before he died. The other versions were something to behold, but the sheer scope of Adams' imagination is truly felt when brought to life in this film.

It does have a couple of bad points. The first being the fact that some classic lines and scenes were cut. The missing ones should be obvious, and it is a minor gripe, because I understand the need to keep things fresh, but you can't help but miss them. My second gripe is the decided lack of British actors among the main cast. I thought that Rockwell was perfect as Zaphod, but Trillian and Ford feel a little off due to their accents. 

Overall, I don't care if I get flamed or laughed at, but this is one of my favourite films of all time. It's the most imaginative, and best flowing version of Hitchhiker's Guide story-wise. A+

 

[Reply #422 on:]

 

Originally posted by homerjaysimpson:
Hard Candy

The good: The pedo guy got killed and it shows the dangers of the internet.

The Bad: They shouldn't have made him a real pedo. It makes the girl look even more crazy and it would have been a better film. They could have also taken the girl isn't real route too.

The Ugly:
Most of the film was some guy being "castrated".

D

I saw that.  Tweek shouldn't see it.  He'd burn his computer. 

[Reply #423 on:]

Thank You For Smoking

Its about a Lobbyist who works for the cigarette companies, who is always able to use spin to defend the cigarette companies. Basically he talks his way through everything the whole movie.

This movie is hilarious and shows how cut throat big business and the government really are.

Oh yeah, there is a sex scene with Katie Holmes too. 

A+

[Reply #424 on:]

Holy monkey, I watched that too just there, get out of my head!   

Anyhoo,
Thank You For Smoking
Yes, it was funny, it reminded me of Lord Of War, except it's about for cigarettes.
You end up rooting for the guy even though he sells DEATH STICKS OMG!

David Koechner (Champ Kind) and J.K. Simmons (J. Jonah Jameson) were great, and Eckhart was ok, even though he seemed a bit apprehensive or bored the whole way through it.

Katie homes doesn't get her bongos out = minus 100 points.

B+

Banlieue 13
David Belle, hero of parkour and free runners brings high paced action in the run down urban ghetto of Paris: a kidnapped sister (who is hottt, and used to be a porn star  ) drugs, guns, mercenaries, bad guys, parkour, dirty ass kicking fights. Check.

Plot: Something about a bomb and a rescue, who cares... people fly across the room and dropkick people in the chest! 
Great action.

B+

[Reply #425 on:]

The Black Dahlia

I guess it's one of these 'love it or don't' movies... and I loved it, despite the fact that Scarlett Johansson is in it.

Nevertheless it get's an A.

[Reply #426 on:]

   

Originally posted by LayZ341:
Thank You For Smoking
Oh yeah, there is a sex scene with Katie Holmes too.  (flirt smiley)

I totally understand the A+ until Faze pointed out the lack of costume malfunctions, totally making it a B+ maximum grade film.

Also, while we're on Katie Holmes, doesn't their baby look weird, out of place, or looking like it's wearing a toupee?

[Reply #427 on:]

Originally posted by ~FazeShift~:
Thank You For Smoking/QUOTE]
I just rented this on DVD and I agree that it was pretty great. FYI, Katie Holmes is not hot. She has a gross, mushy face and is a Scientology-brainwashed-baby-factory. 

I also saw "V for Vendetta" which was better than watching sports on TV, but not really good, or logical. Burn victims are not sexy! I'm just saying.

[Reply #428 on:]

 

Originally posted by VelourFog:
 FYI, Katie Holmes is not hot. She has a gross, mushy face and is a Scientology-brainwashed-baby-factory.   

Well I think Katie Holmes is a Scientology-brainwashed-baby-factory that looks good in just a tie and shirt. I could care less if she is held hostage by a gay crazy dude who beleives in aliens.

[Reply #429 on:]

 

Originally posted by VelourFog:
FYI, Katie Holmes is not hot. She has a gross, mushy face and is a Scientology-brainwashed-baby-factory.   

Exactly. And unless it's one of these 'cover all' shirts, clothes (or the lack thereof) won't change anything about that.   

[Reply #430 on:]

Tom Cruise is just made up to scare children, like the Boogie Man, or Michael Jackson.

[Reply #431 on:]

Thank You For Smoking

It was a driffient movie and I liked it. The fliming kinda made me sea sick.

A

Nothing

Is a really silly movie that didn't add up to anything in the end.

I'm not sure if I like it or not?

[Reply #432 on:]

Thank you for smoking
So many reviews on it anyway, I'll just leave it be.
A

Real Fiction
A constant shoot without any re-takes.  When it starts to suck it is sucking in real time.  A little too avant garde, but never the less has at least one really cool murder scene.

C

[Reply #433 on:]

I've had no time to go to the cinema. So I've just been watching older movies.

Jacob's Ladder

Fucking mind blowing. It was just so amazing and disturbing. I have been inspired.

A x +1000

Rosemary's Baby

THe 60's culture was pretty sweet. Very predictable and I really hated the ending. Mia Farrow is really pretty though.

B-

Werewolf in London

I've already seen this actually. But that doesn't mean I can't not still love the horrible humor that comes out of it.

A

[Reply #434 on:]

Snakes on a Train

Yes, I am serious. This was released straight to DVD to cash in on Snakes on a plane's popularity. Terrible, movie. It almost ventures into so bad it's good territory, but just doesn't quite make it there.

D+

Thank You For Smoking

So many reviews already. Good stuff.

A-

The Departed

So great I'm actually not going to review it. Just go see it.

A

[Reply #435 on:]

Lucky Number Slevin:

I'm really torn in two about this movie.  On one hand, it's got terrific writing, acting, and scriptwriting.  On the other hand it's really freaking depressing, because EVERYBODY KEEPS DYING.

A-

[Reply #436 on:]

Anatomie

A lame German movie that wasted an hour in a half.

F--

[Reply #437 on:]

Marie Antoinette

i'm a tad confused with how i feel towards it.. i wasn't sure exactly why i wanted to see it in the first place (perhaps because of the awesome soundtrack and clothing on the commercials...) but i did. i liked it- it was very visual and full of eye candy which is great to me. some great shots in it. otherwise, though, the characters lacked much depth - it seemed that once we get to know a character, they leave the story, with no development. i think the real issue with it wasn't the historical inaccuracies necesarily, but that i couldn't feel enough for much of any of the characters.  there was no real set, overarcing plot, which made it seem long or dragged on, and the dialogue/ script somewhat boring- but i realize that's not the point of the movie; the point was to catch a glimpse into Marie's character. the acting itself was fine, and i think Dunst was pretty good- not amazing, but good.

 overall, i must say that it was worth seeing, even if it's no masterpiece and, frankly, kind of forgettable. But it's a good movie to watch if you're in the mood for it and just want to relax, though i doubt i'll watch it more than once.

[Reply #438 on:]

Soylent Green
...IS MADE OF WIN!

A

[Reply #439 on:]

MI:3

Aka: Just just a double episode of Alias with a different cast:
Tom Cruise = Sydney Bristow without the boobies
Ving Rhames = Marcus Dixon
Simon Pegg = Marshall the tech guy
Laurence Fishburne = Arvin Sloane

It even had Greg Gunberg and Keri Russell hauled in from JJ Abrahms pals list! Lots of parallels.

The film itself was all a bit silly, but Hoffman was a cool baddie, and I like Alias so it I found it was good.
Also, Michelle Monaghan is a cutie.

C+

Collateral
Tom Cruise again? Aieee!

Anywhoo, this was better. Nice Michael Mann style.

B+