Favorite/Funniest Zoidberg quotes

[Reply #200 on:]

 

Originally posted by Kifz:
"I can't spell anything with these cards!"

"... and a King giving himself brain surgery."

That line always cracks me up.

[Reply #201 on:]

 

Originally posted by Frisco17:
Why must you keep taunting us with your forbidden knowlege? WHY!?!

Because it's fun!   

[Reply #202 on:]

Coming from the one who was running around begging for a copy of BWABB until a few days ago.

[Reply #203 on:]

"Look at me im Dr Zoidberg, Home owner".

haha made me laugh!

edit: Damn didnt see someone post it just above 

[Reply #204 on:]

Zoidberg: "We need to look inside you with this camera!"

(Fry opens mouth)

Zoidberg: "Guess again!"

[Reply #205 on:]

One of my favorite lines was after Zoidberg was drugged.

Leela: What do you think Dr Zoidberg?

Zoidberg: Clack.....Clack.

[Reply #206 on:]

haha these are all great quotes, but I'm surprised noone has mentioned one of his best lines:

Zoidberg: Alright I'll take a look at him, but I remind you I'm an expert on humans, not robots.  Now open your mouth.

Fry: I'm not Bender.  I'm Fry.

Zoidberg:  Really?  I thought you were the robot.

Fry: Nope, human.

Zoidberg: Alright, alright, spare me your life story!

[Reply #207 on:]

And, of course, Zoidberg's pronunciation of robot ("Ro-but!" ) is always funny.

[Reply #208 on:]

I'll take one art please

[Reply #209 on:]

***Really sorry for the double post***
hahahha, and also,
" I ate garbage yesterday! Im NOT paying.  Whoop Whoop Whoop" 
hahahah always

[Reply #210 on:]

Zoidberg: "Oh no, I'M COMING DOWN!"

[Reply #211 on:]

Vender: turkey basters, get your commemorative turkey basters heere, ten dollars
Fry: i'll take one
looks in wallet
Oh 

Zoidberg: What have I done?!?!?!

hahahahhahahah, that always cracks me up

[Reply #212 on:]

You'll always be welcome in 'Rancho Zoidberg!'

[Reply #213 on:]

"I only help those who help themselves!"

"Woopwoopwoopwoopwoopwoop!"

"I'm going for a scuttle"

[Reply #214 on:]

Not actualy a line but when he frames Fry in the episode "The 30% Iron Chef" at the bottom of the note saying "Fry Confesses"it says From the Desk of John Zoidberg M.D.

Or perhaps in "A Taste of freedom" at Zoidberg's trial:

Fry Are you Okay there in the embassy Zoidberg
Zoidberg No, they have no cocoa marshmallows and everyday the rats eat a little more of my foot.

[Reply #215 on:]

"I hope we all have as much tomorrow at my birth--" [timeskip] "What? Aww."

[Reply #216 on:]

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Fry. You lost the woman of your dreams but you still have Zoidberg. You all still have Zoidberg!"

"So he's not perfect. You don't wanna end up old and lonely like Zoidberg!!'

[Reply #217 on:]

"I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's even treated."
   

[Reply #218 on:]

"You still have zoidberg, YOU ALL STILL HAVE ZOIDBERG",   "zoidberg...." (in an offering tone)

[Reply #219 on:]

Friends, help! I've been tricked by a guinea pig!!!!

[Reply #220 on:]

"Gumbercules? I love that guy"

What episode does that quote come from.

From BWaBB

Show spoiler

"Hooray Zoidberg escaped."
"Hooray, Zoidberg loves the tentacle."

"Go on without me faster"

[Reply #221 on:]

"Gumbercules? I love that guy"

What episode does that quote come from.

From BWaBB

Show spoiler

"Hooray Zoidberg escaped."
"Hooray, Zoidberg loves the tentacle."

"Go on without me faster"

iirc the Gumbercules quote comes from Parasites lost, after Hermes mentions how the worms have tuned up both Fry's brain and muscles to be smarter than Cher, stronger than Hercules, and more flexible than gumby....

[Reply #222 on:]

oh thanks

How about
From AOI 1
"Two meals in one day!"
Eats Guinea Pig and the barriers come down around him.
"Friends help, a Guinea Pig tricked me"

[Reply #223 on:]

Zoidberg: I can't make it! Go on with out me!
Leela: I'm trying!
*you see that zoidberg is holding leelas leg*
Zoidberg: Go on with out me faster!

[Reply #224 on:]

At the end of "A Taste Of Freedom"

Zoidberg I wonder what the shroud of Turin tastes like!

[Reply #225 on:]

If you'll excuse me, I see some raviloi which only has two footprints in it.
(Bender treads in food)
Three.
(Zoidberg gorges on food)

[Reply #226 on:]

From Bender's Game

Show spoiler

FrydoI can't go on
ZoidbergDon't worry I'll drag you on to my last ounce of strength, now grab on to my testacles

Show spoiler

ZoidbergHooray, I have all the dice I see everything
*Get's crushed by Wizard Greyfarn*

[Reply #227 on:]

"If there's a big delicious cake, isn't it better to have one slice, rather than nothing at all? Even if you're sharing the cake with four other guys, and they are all thrusting their sweaty, naked bodies against the cake?"

[Reply #228 on:]

The above "cake" line.
"What an honor!"
"And I'm his friend, Jesus!"
"YOU ALL STILL HAVE ZOIDBERG!"
"The music was in your heart, not in your hands... Your music's bad and you should feel bad!"

[Reply #229 on:]

zoidberg: I guess this is good bye for me  too.
Everyone : Leave, now, what ever, bye!

[Reply #230 on:]

"As the candy hearts poured into the fiery quasar, a wonderous thing happened, why not? They vaporized into a mystical love radiation that spread across the universe, destroying many, many planets - including two gangster planets and a cowboy world. But one planet was exactly the right distance to see the romantic rays, but not be destroyed by them - Earth. So all over the world, couples stood together in joy. And me, Zoidberg! And no one could've been happier, unless it would've also been Valentine's Day. What? It was? Hooray!"

[Reply #231 on:]

Bender: Hey!I got a busted ass here, I don't see anyone kissing it.

Zoidberg: Alright, I'm coming.

[Reply #232 on:]

This is one of my favorite bits of dialog, from The Series Has Landed:

Dr. Zoidberg: Now open your mouth and lets have a look at that brain.
(Fry opens his mouth)
Dr. Zoidberg: No, no, not that mouth.
Fry: I only have one.
Dr. Zoidberg: Really?
Fry: Uh... is there a human doctor around?
Dr. Zoidberg: Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it and say "brglgrglgrrr"!
Fry: Uh... brglgrglgrglgrrr!
Dr. Zoidberg: What?!? My mother was a saint! Get out!

Brilliant.  Absolutely brilliant.

[Reply #233 on:]

Zoidberg: "Oh no, I'M COMMING DOWN!!"

[Reply #234 on:]

Zoidberg: Oh no! professor will hit me!

[Reply #235 on:]

oh look, 2 oil changes for the price of 1! If only i could afford the one, and the car! And, whoop whoopwhoop whoop whoop whoop!

[Reply #236 on:]

Zoidberg: What is? Two meals in one week?

[Reply #237 on:]

"Thanks, I've been making fine jewelery for years, apparantly"
&
"But if I fix it, then perhaps gifts?"

Also: "Congratulations, I assume Amy is the father?", "She's right, listen to the father" always get me

[Reply #238 on:]

Zoidberg: gracias

Not so funny on it's own but listening to the commentary when it happens is hilarious

[Reply #239 on:]

Zoidberg: It's all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the lies upon lies.
Fry: OK, OK, don't worry. The love meister will take you under his wing.
Zoidberg: What? Now there's a bird involved?