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: strangest professor line?  (Read 9855 times)
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jigielnik

Delivery Boy
**
« : 09-13-2008 18:05 »

i think i have finally figured out the truly strangest professor line ever (especially when taken totally out of context)
"Perhaps I'll invent some sort of albino shouting gorilla..."

if thats out of context i think it wins hands down as the strangest, but if its in context... i think it still wins
 
La Belle Leela

Starship Captain
****
« #1 : 09-13-2008 18:13 »

I forget how it starts, but Professor rants about making an Atomic super-monster, with freeway on-ramps for arms, and a heart as black as coal! Huhwheeee! :D
suss6052

Starship Captain
****
« #2 : 09-13-2008 19:01 »
« : 09-13-2008 19:13 »

Um, wasn't the albino shouting gorilla supposed to be his own special way of announcing his love for MOM....
"Farnsworth: I love you, Mom. Let's grow ancient together.

Amy: Way to go, Professor. The plan worked.

Mom: Plan? What plan? I thought this was a spontaneous whirlwind of hot, dry sex.

Farnsworth: Look, it started out as a calculated plot to rummage through your underwear. But once I got in there, I found more -- much more. And now I want to shout our love from the rooftops. Perhaps I'll breed some sort of albino shouting gorilla.

Mom: (shouting) Get out of my house, you lying scum pile. I never want to see you again.

Farnsworth: But, dust cakes-- "

And that second one, was the professor's verbal attempt to create a replacement for Bender while he was working at Elzar's to repay the debt from their meal after Elzar blinded Leela (From Bender gets made)

oh and another strange line from the Professor: Being captain is about intuition and heart. A good captain canít have either one. Thatís why cold, logical Bender
is perfect for the job.
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« #3 : 09-14-2008 02:11 »

Farnsworth 1: "Oh, you'd like to get back to your evil universe, wouldn't you? And destroy your box with our universe inside it."

Farnsworth A: "Nonsense! I would never do such a thing unless you were already having been going to do that!"

Farnsworth 1: "Wha?"

Farnsworth A: "You heard me!"
Cinimod

Bending Unit
***
« #4 : 09-14-2008 07:40 »

Farnsworth 1: "Oh, you'd like to get back to your evil universe, wouldn't you? And destroy your box with our universe inside it."

Farnsworth A: "Nonsense! I would never do such a thing unless you were already having been going to do that!"

Farnsworth 1: "Wha?"

Farnsworth A: "You heard me!"


From the same episode

Farnsworth 1: The easy part was getting the brain out, but The hard part was getting the brain out
crimsonbanana

Crustacean
*
« #5 : 09-17-2008 09:03 »

All from BwaBB
*getting crushed in deathball* 'Diamondillium it is!'

'Anyway, we're all going to die.'

Farnsworth: Now I've often said "Good news" when sending you on a mission of extreme danger. So when I say this anomaly is dangerous, you can imagine how dangerous I think this anomaly is.
Hermes: Not dangerous at all?
Farnsworth: Actually, quite dangerous indeed!
Hermes: That is dangerous!
Farnsworth: Indeed!
suss6052

Starship Captain
****
« #6 : 09-17-2008 15:39 »

Farnsworth: Remarkable! According the high-precision digital chronograph it's July 9th, 1947, which would explain why the chronograph has turned into this pin-up calendar.

Bender: Wait a second. You mean we travelled through time?

Farnsworth: Doy! Some idiot must have put metal in the microwave--

Fry: Yo!

Farnsworth: And the microwave radiation, combined with the gravitons and graviolis from the supernova, blasted us through time itself.

Farnsworth: Yes, we tore the universe a new space-hole alright! But it's clenching shut fast. Our only hope to get back to our own time is to go through it in, oh, say ... [He looks at his watch.] ... exactly 24 hours.

Fry: Hey, and while we're on the base, I'll visit my grandfather, Enos. He was stationed at Roswell.

Farnsworth: Your grandfather? [He leaps up.] Stay away from him, you dim-witted monkey. You mustn't interfere with the past. Don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to do it. In which case, for the love of God, don't not do it!
no.9 man

Bending Unit
***
« #7 : 09-21-2008 13:32 »

Leela: Ow fire hot.

Proffesor: The proffesy will help.
(Puts hand in fire)
Proffesor: Ahahahahahaha
x.Bianca.x

Urban Legend
***
« #8 : 09-22-2008 07:55 »

Fire indeed hot!
gluehut

Poppler
*
« #9 : 09-22-2008 09:09 »

i liked "dirt doesn't need luck"
Cinimod

Bending Unit
***
« #10 : 09-22-2008 16:55 »

Professor Proffessor, Lava, Hot!
La Belle Leela

Starship Captain
****
« #11 : 09-22-2008 22:12 »

"Teddybear Junction! The worst scum hole in the galaxy!" :laff:
hansel

Crustacean
*
« #12 : 10-18-2008 16:16 »

"Let this abomination unto the lord begin!"

"Satan! You owe me!"
THM

Bending Unit
***
« #13 : 10-27-2008 02:10 »

"Let this abomination unto the lord begin!"

"Satan! You owe me!"

Oddly enough, I'd go for either of these, though I lean more towards the second.
Your Standard BendingUnit

Crustacean
*
« #14 : 10-30-2008 04:13 »

"We're trapped, my sweet Hippopotamus"
hansel

Crustacean
*
« #15 : 10-31-2008 19:29 »

Professor isn't it time fpr your nap?

YES DAMMIT!  :sleep: *snores*
winna

Avatar Czar
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« #16 : 11-01-2008 08:09 »

"Good News Everyone!  It's Hemmorhoids!"
hansel

Crustacean
*
« #17 : 11-05-2008 14:48 »

"Good News Everyone!  It's Hemmorhoids!"
When was that said?
Bigboysdontcry

Professor
*
« #18 : 11-13-2008 15:32 »

"Great Godzilla's Gonads"
human horn

Bending Unit
***
« #19 : 11-13-2008 16:06 »

"Well then, good news! It's a suppository."
jbm

Bending Unit
***
« #20 : 11-13-2008 21:14 »
« : 11-13-2008 21:17 »

I forget how it starts, but Professor rants about making an Atomic super-monster, with freeway on-ramps for arms, and a heart as black as coal! Huhwheeee! :D

Farnsworth: Better yet, I'll build someone to fill in for you. [He gets up and heads for the door.] Some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monster, with freeway on-ramps for arms and a heart as black as coal...

Farnsworth: Uh, wha? Oh, yes! They say madness runs in our family. Some even call me mad! And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters. Atomic supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies that suck blood out of...
Turanga Joe
Crustacean
*
« #21 : 11-19-2008 19:15 »

I forget how it starts, but Professor rants about making an Atomic super-monster, with freeway on-ramps for arms, and a heart as black as coal! Huhwheeee! :D

Farnsworth: Better yet, I'll build someone to fill in for you. [He gets up and heads for the door.] Some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monster, with freeway on-ramps for arms and a heart as black as coal...

Farnsworth: Uh, wha? Oh, yes! They say madness runs in our family. Some even call me mad! And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters. Atomic supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies that suck blood out of...
This.
freddo

Bending Unit
***
« #22 : 03-02-2009 10:35 »

i don't know if this is right but i'll give it a shot

professor everyone was in favor of taking out adolf hitlers brain but when you put it in a great white shark suddenly you've gone too far.
Quolnok

Starship Captain
****
« #23 : 03-12-2009 16:01 »

"Good news, everyone. Report to my bedroom for a private exhibition."
Books

Near Death Star Inhabitant
Urban Legend
***
« #24 : 03-12-2009 16:04 »

I'm partial to assorted lengths of wire.
dr.bender nye

Liquid Emperor
**
« #25 : 03-12-2009 17:08 »

(Whispers) "If something goes wrong, bring back the blood"
Tedward

Professor
*
« #26 : 03-16-2009 22:07 »

"Goodbye, cruel lamp!"

and

"Will said skills pay the bills?"
upside_ur_head

Bending Unit
***
« #27 : 03-18-2009 00:32 »

"It's dolomite, baby!"
Officer 1BDI

Starship Captain
****
« #28 : 03-18-2009 01:08 »

"Dirt doesn't need luck." is one of my favorite single lines in the entire show.  I want to know the story behind that nugget of knowledge.
I.C. Weiner

Bending Unit
***
« #29 : 03-18-2009 08:43 »

As pointed pointed out in the commentary "No fair you changed the outcome by measuring it" is probably the only uncertainty principle joke ever made in a T.V. show so I'm gonna go with that.
Tedward

Professor
*
« #30 : 03-19-2009 00:45 »

Almost everything he says in Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles is sheer brilliance now that I think of it.

"Oh, I don't have time for this. I've got to go buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain."

"Fifty-three years old? Ohhh, now I'll need a fake ID to rent ultraporn..."

"Yes, I'd like to...MEET this Moose."

"I had a few beers, but I'm cool to drive."
km73

Space Pope
****
« #31 : 03-19-2009 01:56 »

Almost everything he says in Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles is sheer brilliance

Fixed.

"Dirt doesn't need luck." is one of my favorite single lines in the entire show.

Damn; what episode is that from again?
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
*
« #32 : 03-19-2009 02:05 »

Luck of the Fryish.
km73

Space Pope
****
« #33 : 03-19-2009 02:26 »

Merci. :D  Figured it might be, but yeah.  I really am due to watch some of the eps again.

Also, off the top of my head, "Perhaps some sort of death clock."

..The quantum finish line truly is gold though.
Tedward

Professor
*
« #34 : 03-19-2009 17:40 »

Almost everything he says in Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles is sheer brilliance

Fixed.
Thank you for the correction. How right you are...

"That steamed carrot was a bit spicy for me."
captjim

Bending Unit
***
« #35 : 03-19-2009 20:04 »

from into the wild green yonder:

"...and the sales of tickle me bender have been terrible!"

it's strange because why the hell wouldn't everyone in the universe buy at least one tickle me bender?
freddo

Bending Unit
***
« #36 : 03-23-2009 14:22 »

here is where i keep all my assorted lengths of wire

let me show you all the different lengths of wire i used
Morgan_G19

Liquid Emperor
**
« #37 : 03-23-2009 14:41 »

Professor : Do I hear wedding bells?

Fry : Wat? NO!

Professor : Really? Oh dear...
Zippy the Wonderchimp

Poppler
*
« #38 : 04-06-2009 06:36 »

Leela: "But what happened to your old crew?"

Professor: "Oh those poor sons of bi..er...but that's not important now..."
zoidbie

Crustacean
*
« #39 : 04-06-2009 08:37 »

i don't know if this is right but i'll give it a shot

professor everyone was in favor of taking out adolf hitlers brain but when you put it in a great white shark suddenly you've gone too far.

yepp that qualifies for the thread and is great in itself
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