fransworth's contradictions

[on:]

If you know any fransworth contradictions, e.g. "the easy part was getting the brain out the hard part was getting the brain out, hahuihhuahhohohha" please could you put them down on this thread they are funny.

ta     

[Reply #1 on:]

From 3ACV05:
"Well, Fry ... Or should I say .. captain Fry? No I shouldn't! Because Bender is the new captain."

And from 2ACV14:
Farnsworth: "No, it was silly of me to object. One foot tall, eight feet, fifteen feet. What does it matter?"
Mom: "You should see the new sixteen foot models."
Farnsworth: "Sixteen feet?! Go to hell! I was a fool to think you'd changed, you old bat!"

Although these are really examples of presupposition failure more than contradictions...

Edit:  then there was his refusal to talk, followed by his demand for the floor at the global warming conference.

[Reply #2 on:]

Farnsworth: "Push confound you. I've got only a few year to live I don't want to spend them dead!"

[Reply #3 on:]

thanks

[Reply #4 on:]

We have to live through the horrible music of the Big Bopper followed by the tragedy of his death

[Reply #5 on:]

Farnsworth: That's right. Animals in desperate need of rescue. You see, Vergon 6 was once filled with a super-dense substance known as dark matter, each pound of which weighs over ten thousand pounds.

Leela: Wait! What about the animals?

Farnsworth: Well, dark matter is extremely valuable as starship fuel. That's why it was all mined out, leaving the planet completely hollow.

Leela: Yes, but what about the animals?

Farnsworth: The wha?

Leela: The animals.

Farnsworth: I didn't say anything about animals. Now it seems that the planet will collapse within three days. Incidentally, this will kill all the animals.

[Reply #6 on:]

The Sting:
"Collecting Honey. Ordinary Honey."
and a few seconds later...
"This is no ordinary Honey!"

[Reply #7 on:]

thats a good one.

[Reply #8 on:]

Farnsworth: "Good news everyone. I'm sending you on an extremely controversial mission."
Fry: "Controversial?"
Farnswoth: "Oh my no."

[Reply #9 on:]

I have 2 lol they are funny! The first is:

Professor: Good news everyone! There's a news cast on TV with some very bad news...

lol, and the next:

Leela: We will need to get into the Central Beuroquasie somehow

Professor: I've never been there but I know a guy who went in and went mad just from trying to find the restroom!

Leela: Well we'll have to find a way in then?!

Professor:...I've been in there, Huhahahahahaha!!!

LOL the professor is a very funny character!   

[Reply #10 on:]

Prof: I demand the floor!
Al Gore: Yes, you are scheduled to speak next.
Prof: Well, nuts to me! I'm taking the podium!

[Reply #11 on:]

there all goo,di'll add them to my flipp head noggen pad

[Reply #12 on:]

One contradiction is that in show he's refered to as Farnsworth and in this thread he's called Fransworth

[Reply #13 on:]

Yer i guess that was just a spelling mistake.
This isn't really a contradiction but:
Farnsworth: As long as everyone stays indoors we should be safe. On a related matter you'll be making a delivery to Santa's ice fortress on Neptune.

[Reply #14 on:]

that is sort of a contridiction.

[Reply #15 on:]

He also says:
"anyone with a weak heart should leave now, goodbye"
i think thats what he says in a Clone of my own

[Reply #16 on:]

Leela: For Heaven's Gate, Professor. This ship can do 99% light speed. Why are we going 35 miles an hour?

Farnsworth: Because we're in a hurry, that's why.

[Reply #17 on:]

"great news everyone, you'll be delivering a package to chapec 9, a world where humans are killed on sight"
 also:
"jungles? on earth?!HOHAHHAHAHAHA!
and he said:
"whaf, why bother remembering anything, you'll just gonna forget it 5sec. later"- according his age   

[Reply #18 on:]

Farnsworth: Forget it, I'm not going! I have my reasons! Shut up, all of you!

Hermes: Strange. You haven't acted this suspicious since I found those "ape bones" in the basement.

Farnsworth: My hip hurts! I'm in the middle of cooking a turkey! I have warranty cards to fill out! I am not just making excuses! Alright, I'll go!

[Reply #19 on:]

freaksworth: dude, there's a universe in all of us.
parallel amy: right-on, prof. freaksworth
[he comes near and gives a flower to his parallel self]
prof.: get a job!!

[Reply #20 on:]

I dont get that

[Reply #21 on:]

maybe you're right, the scene is funny, not just a quote.

[Reply #22 on:]

now, for this exremly contraversial mission

[Reply #23 on:]

Prof: I think cosmetic surgery is a capital idea Leela, I bet your sick of morons gawping at your eye all the time...

[Gawwwwwwwp]

[Reply #24 on:]

Farnsworth A: You people and your slight differences disgust me. I'm going home. Where's that blue box with our universe in it?

Farnsworth 1: Oh, you'd like to get back to your evil universe, wouldn't you? And destroy your box with our universe inside it.

Farnsworth A: Nonsense! I would never do such a thing unless you were already having been going to do that!

Farnsworth 1: Wha?

Farnsworth A: You heard me!

[Reply #25 on:]

Farnsworth: Fry, or should I say our new captain!

Fry: Ooooh

Farnsworth: No I shouldn't because Benders the new captain

 

[Reply #26 on:]

classic one, Dave b, classic

[Reply #27 on:]

Farnsworth: Why, you're that disgraced starship captain. [He turns to Leela.] Having him on staff will distract people from our horrendous safety record.

Farnsworth: I'd like everyone to meet our new employees. [He leans over to Hermes.] (whispering) Which ones are new?

Hermes: The green dude and the fat man.

Farnsworth: Hmm, I could swear I've never seen that robot before either.

Bender: I'm Bender. You know? The lovable rascal.

Farnsworth: Oh, yes, yes. My good friend, of course. [He turns to Hermes and shrugs.] Anyway, whoever you all are, I have good news. You'll be making a delivery to Stumbos 4, a planet with such high gravity you'll most likely be crushed under the weight of your own hair. Enjoy!


Farnsworth: Well there's no sense fretting. {Look at Fry's face without a nose.] Good Lord, you're ugly! The fact is your nose is gone and we'll never find out who did it or why.