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: fransworth's contradictions  (Read 1824 times)
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noachian

Delivery Boy
**
« : 12-14-2005 09:26 »

If you know any fransworth contradictions, e.g. "the easy part was getting the brain out the hard part was getting the brain out, hahuihhuahhohohha" please could you put them down on this thread they are funny.

ta      :laff:
canned eggs

Space Pope
****
« #1 : 12-14-2005 09:53 »
« : 12-14-2005 09:53 »

From 3ACV05:
"Well, Fry ... Or should I say .. captain Fry? No I shouldn't! Because Bender is the new captain."

And from 2ACV14:
Farnsworth: "No, it was silly of me to object. One foot tall, eight feet, fifteen feet. What does it matter?"
Mom: "You should see the new sixteen foot models."
Farnsworth: "Sixteen feet?! Go to hell! I was a fool to think you'd changed, you old bat!"

Although these are really examples of presupposition failure more than contradictions...

Edit:  then there was his refusal to talk, followed by his demand for the floor at the global warming conference.
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« #2 : 12-14-2005 13:43 »

Farnsworth: "Push confound you. I've got only a few year to live I don't want to spend them dead!"

noachian

Delivery Boy
**
« #3 : 12-15-2005 12:40 »

thanks
tyraniak

Urban Legend
***
« #4 : 12-19-2005 11:48 »

We have to live through the horrible music of the Big Bopper followed by the tragedy of his death
LayZ341

Professor
*
« #5 : 12-19-2005 15:11 »

Farnsworth: That's right. Animals in desperate need of rescue. You see, Vergon 6 was once filled with a super-dense substance known as dark matter, each pound of which weighs over ten thousand pounds.

Leela: Wait! What about the animals?

Farnsworth: Well, dark matter is extremely valuable as starship fuel. That's why it was all mined out, leaving the planet completely hollow.

Leela: Yes, but what about the animals?

Farnsworth: The wha?

Leela: The animals.

Farnsworth: I didn't say anything about animals. Now it seems that the planet will collapse within three days. Incidentally, this will kill all the animals.
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« #6 : 12-19-2005 16:42 »

The Sting:
"Collecting Honey. Ordinary Honey."
and a few seconds later...
"This is no ordinary Honey!"
noachian

Delivery Boy
**
« #7 : 12-20-2005 04:45 »

thats a good one.
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« #8 : 12-20-2005 10:33 »

Farnsworth: "Good news everyone. I'm sending you on an extremely controversial mission."
Fry: "Controversial?"
Farnswoth: "Oh my no."
Dave B

Urban Legend
***
« #9 : 12-23-2005 14:43 »

I have 2 lol they are funny! The first is:

Professor: Good news everyone! There's a news cast on TV with some very bad news...

lol, and the next:

Leela: We will need to get into the Central Beuroquasie somehow

Professor: I've never been there but I know a guy who went in and went mad just from trying to find the restroom!

Leela: Well we'll have to find a way in then?!

Professor:...I've been in there, Huhahahahahaha!!!

LOL the professor is a very funny character!    :laff:
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« #10 : 12-24-2005 22:50 »

Prof: I demand the floor!
Al Gore: Yes, you are scheduled to speak next.
Prof: Well, nuts to me! I'm taking the podium!
noachian

Delivery Boy
**
« #11 : 12-27-2005 11:45 »

there all goo,di'll add them to my flipp head noggen pad
tyraniak

Urban Legend
***
« #12 : 12-27-2005 13:54 »

One contradiction is that in show he's refered to as Farnsworth and in this thread he's called Fransworth
J. Samuel Lyons

Delivery Boy
**
« #13 : 12-27-2005 16:54 »

Yer i guess that was just a spelling mistake.
This isn't really a contradiction but:
Farnsworth: As long as everyone stays indoors we should be safe. On a related matter you'll be making a delivery to Santa's ice fortress on Neptune.
noachian

Delivery Boy
**
« #14 : 12-28-2005 16:43 »

that is sort of a contridiction.
FryBound

Delivery Boy
**
« #15 : 12-30-2005 11:22 »

He also says:
"anyone with a weak heart should leave now, goodbye"
i think thats what he says in a Clone of my own
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« #16 : 01-03-2006 10:40 »

Leela: For Heaven's Gate, Professor. This ship can do 99% light speed. Why are we going 35 miles an hour?

Farnsworth: Because we're in a hurry, that's why.
laton

Crustacean
*
« #17 : 01-06-2006 13:53 »
« : 01-06-2006 23:00 »

"great news everyone, you'll be delivering a package to chapec 9, a world where humans are killed on sight"
 also:
"jungles? on earth?!HOHAHHAHAHAHA!
and he said:
"whaf, why bother remembering anything, you'll just gonna forget it 5sec. later"- according his age   :)
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« #18 : 01-06-2006 14:46 »

Farnsworth: Forget it, I'm not going! I have my reasons! Shut up, all of you!

Hermes: Strange. You haven't acted this suspicious since I found those "ape bones" in the basement.

Farnsworth: My hip hurts! I'm in the middle of cooking a turkey! I have warranty cards to fill out! I am not just making excuses! Alright, I'll go!

laton

Crustacean
*
« #19 : 01-07-2006 15:29 »

freaksworth: dude, there's a universe in all of us.
parallel amy: right-on, prof. freaksworth
[he comes near and gives a flower to his parallel self]
prof.: get a job!!
noachian

Delivery Boy
**
« #20 : 01-08-2006 09:02 »

I dont get that
laton

Crustacean
*
« #21 : 01-08-2006 10:16 »

maybe you're right, the scene is funny, not just a quote.
PhyscoticRobot

Delivery Boy
**
« #22 : 01-08-2006 13:48 »

now, for this exremly contraversial mission
Dave B

Urban Legend
***
« #23 : 01-11-2006 08:22 »

Prof: I think cosmetic surgery is a capital idea Leela, I bet your sick of morons gawping at your eye all the time...

[Gawwwwwwwp]
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« #24 : 01-11-2006 10:19 »

Farnsworth A: You people and your slight differences disgust me. I'm going home. Where's that blue box with our universe in it?

Farnsworth 1: Oh, you'd like to get back to your evil universe, wouldn't you? And destroy your box with our universe inside it.

Farnsworth A: Nonsense! I would never do such a thing unless you were already having been going to do that!

Farnsworth 1: Wha?

Farnsworth A: You heard me!

Dave B

Urban Legend
***
« #25 : 01-16-2006 10:54 »
« : 01-16-2006 10:54 »

Farnsworth: Fry, or should I say our new captain!

Fry: Ooooh

Farnsworth: No I shouldn't because Benders the new captain

  :)
noachian

Delivery Boy
**
« #26 : 02-05-2006 15:53 »

classic one, Dave b, classic
fryfanSpyOrama

Urban Legend
***
« #27 : 02-05-2006 16:37 »
« : 02-05-2006 16:37 »

Farnsworth: Why, you're that disgraced starship captain. [He turns to Leela.] Having him on staff will distract people from our horrendous safety record.

Farnsworth: I'd like everyone to meet our new employees. [He leans over to Hermes.] (whispering) Which ones are new?

Hermes: The green dude and the fat man.

Farnsworth: Hmm, I could swear I've never seen that robot before either.

Bender: I'm Bender. You know? The lovable rascal.

Farnsworth: Oh, yes, yes. My good friend, of course. [He turns to Hermes and shrugs.] Anyway, whoever you all are, I have good news. You'll be making a delivery to Stumbos 4, a planet with such high gravity you'll most likely be crushed under the weight of your own hair. Enjoy!


Farnsworth: Well there's no sense fretting. {Look at Fry's face without a nose.] Good Lord, you're ugly! The fact is your nose is gone and we'll never find out who did it or why.

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