Suicide Booths in 2008???

[on:]

In "Space Pilot 3000",when Fry and Bender were in the Suicide Booth and they avoided death,did you notice that after,it said "Thank you for using Stop and Drop,America's number one suicide booth since 2008."

Do you think that America would be using Stop and Drops in 4 years?Probably not. Or maybe......

[Reply #1 on:]

Well, if we have the tech to do the quick and painless option I'd be amazed.   

Slow and horrible could probably be created though.   

Why, you want to go try it out?

[Reply #2 on:]

I don't think so. There's people in modern society who can't handle the idea of gay marriage. If a suicide booth was even in production by then, most of the general public would flip out. It's one of those things mankind just isn't ready for. If we ever are ready for it.

[Reply #3 on:]

No....

Suicide is illegal anyway isn't it, as a form of murder?

[Reply #4 on:]

I would use it... 
And yes, scuicide is "illegal" but you never go to jail for it, you are usually sent to a mental facilaty...

[Reply #5 on:]

It's only illegal if you get caught before doing it, or if you fail, because once it's over they can't really arrest your corpse.... or can they?
What got me about that quote was how they say "number one" booth. Does this mean there are more brands of suicide booths out there, or is it just a handy dandy advertising gimmick?

[Reply #6 on:]

I'm sure theres a group of Mafia guys running around commiting suicide. And yeah, Lampy is right, people aren't ready for suicide booths yet.

[Reply #7 on:]

Maybe we are ready for the suicide booths... maybe the suicide booths aren't ready for us.

[Reply #8 on:]

Well...my point in saying that suicide is illegal was that the government wouldn't allow public facilities that helped you to carry out a crime.

[Reply #9 on:]

 

Originally posted by Whoopwhoopwhoop:
And yes, scuicide is "illegal" but you never go to jail for it, you are usually sent to a mental facilaty...

No, you're usually sent to a morgue.

[Reply #10 on:]

This is a little far-fetched. Considering 2008 is only four years from now. It's just fiction. It really doesn't bother me.

[Reply #11 on:]

Once again, ancient Babylonian scrolls hold the answer:

2004 (Nov)--Bush wins re-election under repetitively suspicious circumstances.  The country's morale is at an all-time low.

2005 (Jan)--Michael Moore blows himself up at Bush inauguration, taking with him the first 10 people in line to the presidency.  Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao is passed over since she was born in Taiwan, and HHS Secretary Tommy Thompson claims the office.

2005 (May)--Tommy Thompson goes quite mad and declares himself "Emperor of America".  He then launches an all-out assault on those countries he perceives to be the biggest threats to the US, which include Chile, Tonga and Vatican City.  The world is in an uproar, and the UN votes to kick the US out if they do not remove Thompson from office.

2005 (June)--Thompson had the foresight to appoint enough like-minded beer buddies to important posts so that his regime has a stranglehold on the US government.  They tell the UN "Don't forget whose country you're in, bitch," and catapult every diplomat out of the country and into the Atlantic Ocean.

2005 (July 1)--The media is in a frenzy to try and sway the American public away from their new despot.  Thompson's goon squads immediately seize control of all major media.

2005 (July 2)--The American public are pleased to hear that their glorious leader now has an unprecedented 100% approval rating.  All international commerce and travel is put on temporary hold.

2005 (December)--After several months of prosperity, Americans find a new favorite pastime:  killing themselves.  Rather than chide them for this "illegal act", the state decides to cash in on the masses' newfound hobby.

2006 (January)--The first "Boothanasia" brand suicide booths appear on street corners in every major city.  The response is overwhelming, and the economy booms as the orders flood in to put suicide booths in every city, town and village.

2006 (April)--In keeping with the healthy spirit of competition, "Stop 'n' Drop" opens for business, and are immediately slapped with a "cease and desist" for daring to compete with a state-run industry.  It is learned that "Stop 'n' Drop" is backed by a foreign conglomerate.

2006 (June)--The first of the "Suicide Booth Wars" begins.  After a bloody four-day struggle, it is declared a tie by Emperor Thompson, who marks the occasion by taking a ceremonial spin in one of the competitor's booths.  HUD Secretary Alphonso Jackson claims the throne.

2006 (October)--Following four more Suicide Booth Wars, Emperor Jackson announces that a permanent truce is to be declared, and anyone who does not agree to it will be executed.  60,000 public executions take place that afternoon.  Laws against suicide are officially repealed, as are laws against murder.

2007 (February)--In time for Valentine's day, a new brand of Suicide Booth opens:  "Death Shack".  Seeing this new competitor spooks the two brand leaders, and they decide to team up and crush the new interloper.

2007 (August)--During this conflict, the blood runs ankle-deep throughout most of the world.  Emperor Jackson decrees that more efficient drainage systems are needed.

2008 (December)--At an X-mas party for Suicide Booth executives, Chauncey Rellman, CEO of "Stop 'n' Drop" pulls a coup-de-tat on his competitors.  Instead of sexy women popping out of the novelty cakes, heavily-armed commandos who mow down the other executives and place their heads on spikes throughout the banquet hall.  Emperor Jackson applauds this bold gesture.

2008 (January)--A ceremony to declare "Stop 'n' Drop" America's number one Suicide Booth is postponed until it can be determined that you can have a number one without having a number two.  English teachers disagree, but after several hundred of them are put to death by Emperor Jackson, there is no further dissent.

2008 (February)--In a grand and lavish spectacle, "Stop 'n' drop" is officially declared America's number one Suicide Booth.  1,000 virgins are sacrificed to the volcano gods (not female virgins--"Babylon 5" fans).

[Reply #12 on:]

*dies from overload of laroquettespine's lists*

[Reply #13 on:]

What they need to do is to legalise suicide and helped-suicide, but it will never happen as the people in this worlds are panzies!  maybe in years to come or if i become President then there will be suicide booths! HAHAHA

[Reply #14 on:]

laroquettespine...that was insane, interesting and alarming... it COULD happen i guess... but hey! why bring chile into it?..i was born there y'know... it's a beautiful country... nooooo...

[Reply #15 on:]

Who said the suicide booth thingy didn't start as an illegal underground service and later after several years (or hundrend of years) it was legitimized.

[Reply #16 on:]

Because that wouldn't happen in 4 years Idan....at least the development over a hundred years wouldn't 

[Reply #17 on:]

Suicide booths aren't a bad idea, suicide is not committed in a very nice way, take jumping in front of a train for example:

Its a painful way to go.
There will be loads of people on the platform who will have the grisly scene in their memory for the rest of their lives.
Some miserable, underpaid cleaner has to wipe the gore from the train.

A suicide booth could cut out all those problems.

And as for the legal issue, attempted suicide is illegal, actual suicide is fine, so a device such as a suicide booth which is certain to kill is OK.

[Reply #18 on:]

Of course atcual suicide is fine. It's fine because there's nothing they can do about it. It's still illegal. The government would never allow a company to manufacture a product with the intent to assist in the taking of someone's life or with the purpose of helping someone carry out a crime.

[Reply #19 on:]

I agree with Zmithy... it must be pretty bad to have to scrape people off of sidewalks/fish them out of rivers, a suicide booth would at least make things a lot cleaner and personal. I can't see the public complaining about that aspect of it. The hard part would be keeping the booth's purpose for suicide, and not murder/accidental death, like Fry's would have been.

[Reply #20 on:]

 

Originally posted by Jicannon:
The government would never allow a company to manufacture a product with the intent to assist in the taking of someone's life or with the purpose of helping someone carry out a crime.

They're called guns, and I love them 

laroquettespine, I can only await your grisly prediction of the future to come true.  Party at my house!!! 

[Reply #21 on:]

That's all fiction of course.Without other planets to use as landfills,we don't have anywhere to dump the remains.

[Reply #22 on:]

The bodies will obviously be used as an alternative energy resource to fossil fuels.... 

[Reply #23 on:]

Good idea."Soylent Fuel".

[Reply #24 on:]

The idea of suicide booths are possible,just look at all the stuff that's already happened.
I think that if we did have suicide booths it would just encourage people to do, well,suicide. A freind of mine tried to commit suicide once. And if it would have been as easy as steping into a booth,then my freind would already be gone.

[Reply #25 on:]

 

Originally posted by Futurama Nerd:
I think that if we did have suicide booths it would just encourage people to do, well,suicide.

That's an interesting way to look at it....

[Reply #26 on:]

They could have booths pretend to be suicide-booths, but instead give out anti-depressants.

[Reply #27 on:]

That's assuming the suicidal are depressed. You're not counting all the fellas who do it for kicks!

Plus, you could create a thriving suicide booth drug culture.

'Hey baby, ever died while high? Joe says it's a reeeeeeeeal soul groove!'

[Reply #28 on:]

Youve got too remember though if there are suicide booths they could be used for murder, someone could shove someone in and close the door and that would be the end of that! And you could get little kids walking in them just pressing the GO button......

[Reply #29 on:]

How could it be used as a murder weapon? Far as I can see, you can only activate it from the inside, so unless you're intent on going to hell with them, it's not a good idea.

And how could little kids just wander in and push the 'GO' button? Wouldn't they need to insert a coin, first?

[Reply #30 on:]

Eh... mabey, its just a hazard really. If you had kids would you want them too go into a sucicide booth and constantly press the go button and not be slightly anxious? And im sure someone could like hotwire one of those things too go off when they wanted i.e. too murder someone when they wanted.

[Reply #31 on:]

I think you've got it in for the suicide booth. You're one of those anti-suicide booth lobbbyist wackos, aren't you? Well let me tell you something, bucko...

Suicide booths don't kill people, people kill people!

[Reply #32 on:]

No, I'm pretty sure it's the booths that would kill people.

[Reply #33 on:]

 

Originally posted by SlackJawedMoron:
I think you've got it in for the suicide booth. You're one of those anti-suicide booth lobbbyist wackos, aren't you?

Whow whow whow... im not against suicide booths. Im just pointing out what might happen if the real world ever got them.
Thats pretty much what this topics about right.

[Reply #34 on:]

Joke, friend.  I may or may not be making fun of certain real-life types...

[Reply #35 on:]

Maybe "Stop 'n Drop" just made the slogan up. After all most of 20th and most likely early 21st century history was for some reason forgotten. ie TSHL and TLOTE.

[Reply #36 on:]

Come again?

[Reply #37 on:]

Maybe the suicide booths transport you to a magical land filled with pink bunnies and trees with candy ganes growing on them, so that you don't feel suicidal any more. At least the "Quick and Painless" option does - the "Slow and Horrible" option is there for the people who really hate life.

Once we get teleportation and genetic modification down to a fine art, Stop 'n' Drop will cash in.

[Reply #38 on:]

laroquettespine, KUDOS!  That is the funniest thing I've read for a while, and the hardest I have laughed in a long time.

Although I do not intend for this to light the flame for a political debate, I think that if Bush wins, after 8 years of his "leadership", people would be begging for suicide booths... 

[Reply #39 on:]

One thing that could be asked, not just about suicide booths, but about the death penalty now... people say that the lethal injection is painless, and one of the options in the booth was "quick and painless".  The REAL question is, how can people know it's quick and painless when the only people who experienced it are dead?  I'm just sayin......   

EDIT: Opps, sorry, didn't edit previous one.  Won't happen again.