I Can't Believe it's Another Quote Game!!!

[Reply #560 on:]

Morbo demands an answer to the competition!!

[Reply #561 on:]

Uh...let's just say Teral won.  It's been way over 24 hours, and he sounds angry.  Your turn, Teral anyone...

(though you should all laugh at my erotic/carotic pun.  Laugh, damnit!)

[Reply #562 on:]

Well someone has to post a new situation...

You die and are brought before God who asks you to give one reason why you shouldn't be condemned to Hell for all eternity.

[Reply #563 on:]

Me: So, do you know what I'm gonna say before I say it?

God: Yes.

Me: What if I say something different?

God: Then I don't know that.

Me: Cool, cool. I bet a lot of people lie to you, huh?

God: Yes, but there are so many lying so much. After a while you just sorta tune it out.

Me: Y'know, I was good once...

God: Yes I saw. You were doing well until everyone you killed died.

Me: It was awful. I tried stabbing them. I tried not stabbing them, but in the end I wouldn't do them any good. Do you think what I did was wrong?

God: Right and wrong are just words. What matters is what you do.

Me: Yeah I know, that's why I asked if what I did - forget it.

God: JBERGES, being good isn't easy. If you do too much, people think you're a suck-up. And if you do nothing, they hate you. You have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.

Me: Or a guy who burns down the bar for the insurance money!

God: Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

Me: Does that mean you wouldn't send me to heaven, even though I didn't lie to you?

God: Heaven? Which way is that?
_________________

Bender, God-  "Godfellas" (edited)

[Reply #564 on:]

"I've got a baggy of massage oil, and I'm gonna give you my super back rub, just like a I used to give Amy when I was going out with her, and she always seemed... Uh-oh."

Fry, "Parasites Lost"

[Reply #565 on:]

Me: Yeah well, I don't believe in god.  Come on, if I don't believe in him, he can't hurt me. (God clobbers me with a bag of crap)  Oh god, the pain!
God: It's time I cut you in on the secret to salvation. Any guesses?
Me: Uh...pray really really hard?
God: No.
Me: Oh, thank god!
God: It's all about goodnesses. That's why its time to update your heretic image and give it the pious, dazzling veneer of The Mad Capper.
Me: Don't worry, god, I'll never be too good or too evil again.
God: Why, I've forgotten why I even damned you.
St. Peter: Because he discredited your followers, your book, and all your possessions.
God: Oh, that's right. Go to Hell! (god presses button and sends me to Hell)
-Bender paraphrased from "Xmas Story"
-That guy and Fry paraphrased from "Future Stock"
-Bender paraphrased from "Hell Is Other Robots"
-Farnsworth and Bender paraphrased from "The Cryonic Woman"

[Reply #566 on:]

Me: Now without further ado, a film highlighting the state of my soul.
Narrator [in film]: boingo2000's soul is on the move. For this young, hip young Christian, tomorrow is today and today is yesterday. You heard me.  It was a year of soaring good deads...
[footage of me helping the needy]
...and significant one time moral transgressions.
[me with blackjack and hookers]
And so his sprit flames onwards. boingo2000: Limitless potential, boundless horizons, the unstoppable juggernaut of charity.
[The film ends.]
Me: It's been a terrible year, God. I'm on the verge of moral bankruptcy.
God: But the movie-
Me: Lies, which resulted in a substantial loss of my soul.

-Various, Futurestock (edited)

[Reply #567 on:]

"Don't send me to Hell yet. I'm starting to come down with Stockholm Syndrome... handsome."

 - Bender, "Insane In The Mainframe"

[Reply #568 on:]

God: Go to Hell, Young and Angry!
Me: Aw, Hell-Oh, I mean Heck!
I don't like things that are scary and painful!
Farnsworth,edited, TMLH
Bender, HIOR

[Reply #569 on:]

Me: "No, please don't send me to hell, I'll put out milk and cookies!"
God: "You dare bribe God!? I'll shove you so far down to hell you'll be coughing up brimstone!"

-Fry, "Xmas Story" (edited)
-Robot Santa, "Xmas Story" (edited)

[Reply #570 on:]

And the winner is... BOINGO2000... ALL GLORY TO BOINGO2000

Everyone else is condemned to the Bonus Level of Hell, where you will be forced to watch non-stop reality TV for all eternity.

[Reply #571 on:]

 

Originally posted by Prof. Wernstrum:
where you will be forced to watch non-stop reality TV for all eternity.

:shakes fist at Prof. Wernstrum:

Damn you old man!

[Reply #572 on:]

help somebody broke Teral's fist and its nuclear powered so probably someone wil be killed!!!
fixitfixitfixitfixitfixitfixi t!

[Reply #573 on:]

24 hour rule

You come home from vacation to find that your best friend has stolen everything of value from your house. You say:

[Reply #574 on:]

you say: Oh my god. Did you hear merachas?

friend says: No.

you: then it wasn't space vanditoes.

....

me be while since me lat poted. but me bat. an me wanhoo ave fun.
                    

[Reply #575 on:]

"Oh man, the one time I didn't buy house insurance...."

Paraphrased from Fry in Bender Gets Made....

[Reply #576 on:]

Me: (noticing people taking my stuff) Wait. What are you doing with my stuff?
Person: Uh door was open. We're taking it all.
Me: Oh no, my stuff! My secret garage code...1077.

-Fry and the Repobot paraphrased from "Fishfull of Dollars"

[Reply #577 on:]

(corners friend in a ... ehh.. corner)
Me: "*$friendname", you she-devil! You really thought you could steal thos furnitures  from me and Congo Jack?"
Friend: "Those furnitures belong to the handlers!"
::spinkicks friend on the nose::
Friend: "Ow! What was that for? That hurt!"
Me: "Yes. And I have a message for you from colonel Mtumba. He says this .." (pulls out spear) "is from Congo Jack!"
Friend: "And then $friendname ran." (runs)

 - Leela and Coilette, "Bend Her"
 - Leela and Shatner, WNFHGB
 - Fry, "My Three Suns"
 - Fry, "Bend Her"
 - Bender, "Leela's Homeworld"

[Reply #578 on:]

And you made me feel like a jerk for trusting you. Just like when my friend Richie swore he wasn't taking drugs, then he sold me my mom's VCR and then later I found out he was taking drugs. You make me ashamed to be your friend.

Fry - Hell is other Robots

[Reply #579 on:]

ok, 24 hours has passed and i declare Teral the winner! Your turn! 

[Reply #580 on:]

I won? I won... I WON!!

::hugs the runner-up and collects crown::

Anyway, you have an important meeting (big, huge, life-altering importnat) in a far away city, and just as you enter the station you see your train leaving. There are no flight connection to the city, what do you do/say?

[Reply #581 on:]

Aw, crud. I always thought that at this point in my life, I'D be the one leaving without people!
Fry, edited, SP3K

[Reply #582 on:]

Me: What just happened?
Friend: The train left without us.
Me: Damn. Can I get this refunded? *holds up ticket*

Fry and Bender, Love's Labor's Lost in Space

[Reply #583 on:]

*call up the people I was supposed to meet*
Me: I'm afraid I must decline your offer of meeting. For you see, I'm dying. Cough, then fall over dead.
*hang up, have my friend call up the people I'm supposed to meet to back up my story*
Friend: boingo has a message for you. He says "Ooo, I'm dead!"

-Farnsworth, WAA
-Bender 30%IC

[Reply #584 on:]

'After pleading with the station manager to stop the train a few yards down the track'

Me: 'You're not nice'

Robot Devil - TDHAIPT

[Reply #585 on:]

but Fryrish need train for.... appointment making"
- Fry in "HHRHGB"

[Reply #586 on:]

Train station guy: It's no use. The train was going full speed when it left so it's going even faster than that.
Me: You mean I can never catch up to it?  Not even if I rub myself with cheetah blood?
Train station guy: I don't know how to say this, Doc, but you're doomed to drift through life...forever.
Me: I always wanted to drift forever. But through whatever town that train was going to.
-Leela and Fry paraphrased from "Godfellas"

Also, who uses trains?

[Reply #587 on:]

Me: Oh! How cruel fate has boned me again!

-Bender From "Obsoletely Fabulous"
( Deleted Scene)

[Reply #588 on:]

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Old woman off camera: Hey, keep it down! I just fell asleep for the first time in 32 years!
Me: (whispery) nooooooooooo!!!

-Calculon, verious eps, including Bend-her I think
-Old woman, Less Than Hero

[Reply #589 on:]

"What?! Do I smell?"
Zoidberg in AOI2

[Reply #590 on:]

Me: Oh great, now I'll have to get a couple of chumps to carry me. (Cut to the porters carrying me through a desert) C'mon, you call yourselves chumps!?

- Bender (edited), 'Mother's Day'

Does anybody still remember the good old days when people just used one quote to make their reply here? 

[Reply #591 on:]

 

Originally posted by DrThunder88:
Also, who uses trains?

Poor people.

At the meeting:

Another meetee: "Why did you call us here?"
Me: "And why did I have to take a cab?"

Leela and Zoidberg in AOIII

[Reply #592 on:]

 

Originally posted by DrThunder88:
Also, who uses trains?

Pteromerhanophobes or post-dotcom-crash IT-companies.

Anyway, let's hear it for Boingo. You won, get up here!

[Reply #593 on:]

Hurry Up Boingo.

[Reply #594 on:]

Your dog has dragged something unbelivably stinky (and that might have at one point been alive) from the woods behind your house and left it right in the middle of your bed.  You say...

[Reply #595 on:]

Me: That stench! That horrible stench!

(turns over and sees Thing)

Me: AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGH HHHHHHH!

~Zoidberg, A Fishful of Dollars
~Fry, in that suicide booth, Space Pilot 3000

[Reply #596 on:]

Ohharggg!
Jese' ol man! remarkable!
A stench so foul it's right of the funk'o'meter.
I dare say my dog may have discovered the the smelliest object in the known universe.

Prof Farnsworth - A big piece of garbage

[Reply #597 on:]

You like banannas?
How 'bout them banannas? [points to what may well be (or at least smells like) a conglomeration of moldy, rotting banannas]

Gunter - Mars U

[Reply #598 on:]

"Whatever my dog has just brought in, is the only thing I have ever wanted"

Fry (modified)TFP

[Reply #599 on:]

*As the dog brings in the object*
"Hey what are you doing....?"

*Drops it on the bed*
"What did you do now, stop doing things....!"

Fry in HHRHGB