I Can't Believe it's Another Quote Game!!!

[Reply #520 on:]

Awesome. I rule everything again.

You wake up one morning, and find that your house was demolished around you while you were sleeping.

You say:

EDIT: Actually, in this situation, I say, "Let's MAMBO!" (TOTP style, of course.)

[Reply #521 on:]

Talking to my friends about it:
Me: "I'm not some slick big city lawyer like the guy that demolished my house, but I am a veteran who has fought for his house. You see this hand of mine?"
Friend: "Yes I do."
Me: "No you don't, because I lost my real hand putting up the roof of this house. Yet it was worth it. So much do I love that house. I love it even more than I love my seven wives. That's right, I'm a polygamist."
Friends: "Boo!"
Me: "Yet I would gladly eat a house myself, had I not used my intestines as bricks to support a wall made of my own skin, if it would protect the freedoms of the proud people that lived in that house."
Friends start cheering.
Me: "Freedoms such as polygamy."
Friends: "Boo!"
Me: "I rest my case."

-Old Man Waterfall, "A Taste Of Freedom" (edited)

[Reply #522 on:]

"My home....! It fell down....!"

*Fall to knees and start bawling*

Zoidy in The Deep South....

[Reply #523 on:]

Neighbor: So, uh, Thunder, sorry about crushing your house.  You okay now?
Me: This is just like when my neighbor Richie swore he wasn't crushing my house, then he sold me my mom's roof, and then later I found out he crushed my house. You make me ashamed to live next to you.
Neighbor: Why dont you just come move in with me?
Me: Why, I've forgotten why I was even mad at you.
Someone else: 'Cause he destroyed your Internet access, your home, and all your possessions.
Me: Oh, that's right. Get lost!
-Fry paraphrased from "LoTE"
-Fry paraphrased from "HIOR"
-Bender in "I, Roomate"
-Farnsworth and Bender paraphrased from "Cryonic Woman"

[Reply #524 on:]

"I say, you've damaged my family's quarters!   ...and my family."

Meiderneyer - Mars University (edited)

[Reply #525 on:]

Me: But, but, but ... Andy need house ... for shelter-having!

Fry in HHRHGB, edited

[Reply #526 on:]

I give this victory to the Doc, for 'Mom's roof'.

[Reply #527 on:]

Continuing with the "waking up in a bad situation"-theme...

You wake up one morning to discover a terrorist sleeper cell has taken up residence in your home.

[Reply #528 on:]

(Attempting to cheer everyone up from certain death)
Me: You need cheering up, eh buddy? Well, old M0le'll make you laugh! (Dance)
Brother: (Starts crying)

[Reply #529 on:]

Me: Who are you?
Sleeper Cell: Scruffy, the terrorist.
Me: I've never seen you before.
Sleeper Cell: I've never seen you before niether.

Leela, Scruffy -  AOI 1

[Reply #530 on:]

Me: Who are you?
Terrorist: Uh... I'm your dear old Uncle Fry.
Me: I don't have an Uncle Fry!
*A cop car is heard aproaching*
Terrorist: *Pulls out a gun* You do now!

-Farnsworth, Fry, and Bender - SP3K

[Reply #531 on:]

me: Hey mon!
terrorists: Nice to meet you! Hostages! (*to arriving police*) Back off, I got hostages!
me: Hurray I'm helping!

me = Hermes, Zoidberg
terrorists = Roberto
from Insane in the mainframe

[Reply #532 on:]

Don't kill me! I think I'm starting to develop Stockholm syndrome... handsome.

Bender in IitMF

[Reply #533 on:]

Me: Turning to flat mate: 'Possum save me! And my banjo! And youself I guess. And Sprinkles.'

Nuff respect for Sprinkles and the Possum. This is their first mention on the site.

[Reply #534 on:]

Friend: "Jeez Teral, you seem awfully calm about this."
Me: (whispering) "Don't worry, I have a plan." (Breaks window) "I'M GOING TO JUMP!!"
Friend #1: "No."
Friend #2: "No."
Terrorists: "Do a flip!"

 - Fry, Hermes, Amy, Zoidberg and Bender, "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back"

[Reply #535 on:]

I'm not sure if I have understood the rules of this game, but I'll give it a try:

Terrorist on street: Listen well! No matter what happens, no matter how great your will for survive, you are forbidden to call the marines. Forbidden!
Neighbour: Gandhi jr, you ungrateful terrorist! I put you through IRA university and this is how you repay me?
Terrorist on street: I now have a surprise. You will now fear this bomb, build by the ultimate terrorist against the system.
Me: You have had buy my bomb on the black market?
Terrorist on street: I meant my bomb! I am the ultimate terrorist!
Me: It's not as if one ordinary bomb ever made a difference ...
Terrorist on street: This is no ordinary bomb. It's produced by dangerous spam. It's explosion of hideous stupidness can cause instant dumbness!
Me: Wrong again, idiot. That is not a spam bomb. It's ...
Horst Koehler: My spamwich!
Terrorist on street: Once again the stupid spam-portfolio pays off for the crazy terrorist! *eats the spamwhich* Oh! I'm ruined. *cries* Why? Why?


Farnsworth in Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles
Farnsworth in The Farnsworth Parabox
Melllvar and Fry in Where No Fan Has Gone Before
Fry in A Head In The Polls
Farnsworth in The Sting
Farnsworth in Bendin' In The Wind
Hermes in The Deep South
Zoidberg in Futurestock

[Reply #536 on:]

While I'm moderately amused by the prospect of "Possum" and "Sprinkles," I am even more amused by terrorists named Scruffy.  However, I'll place the blame for the next terrible situation squarely on GuFF-man*.

* GuFF-man = GFF = germanfryfan

GuFF-man is a registered trademark of Thundernamics Inc.

[Reply #537 on:]

Hurray I got a ™ by Thundernamics Inc.

Ok the next terrible situation:

You've been invited to one of those boring parties with endless speechs, stupid music and people way over fifty. For example the 100 birthday of the company you're working for.
What do you say to avoid going there?

[Reply #538 on:]

Me: Nope.  Watching cartoons.  Sorry.

-Bender & Fry in Brannigan, Begin Again

[Reply #539 on:]

Coperson: It's the event of the anniversary season.
Me: Sounds boring.
Coperson: Oh my yes.
Me: There won't be a lot of long winded speeches will there?
Coperson: Only one. The absolutely flawless recitation from memory of the company loyalty oath...by you.
Me: Will there be cake?
-Farnsworth and Bender paraphrased from "ABPoG"
-Fry and Merg from "My Three Suns"

[Reply #540 on:]

Boss: "Good news everyone! Tonight is the ribbon cutting for our new headquarters."
Me: "And then Teral ran."
(runs)

 - Farnsworth, numerous episodes
 - Farnsworth, "Brannigan Begin Again"
 - Bender, "Leela's Homeworld"

[Reply #541 on:]

Bender: Bite My Shiny Metal Ass
Fry: Doesn't look so shiny to me
Bender: Shinier than yours meatbag
     Space Pilot 3000

[Reply #542 on:]

"What kind of a party is this? No Booze and only one hooker!"

-Bender, "Hell Is Other Robots"

[Reply #543 on:]

"You call this a party? I wouldn't hit a guy over the head with this party!"
-Donbot, Bender Gets Made

[Reply #544 on:]

*The Boss walks up to me. I'm about to run away.*
Boss: I'll give you $500 if you don't do what your thinking of doing!
*I turn back to him, take the envelope he's holding, open the envelope and takes out an invitation card*
Me: Great Jah's dreadlocks! There's been a mix-up. This isn't money - it's a invitation to the company's 100th birthday party! And it's mandatory!
Boss: He he, you just lost your Saturday night!
Me: Noooooooooo!

- Bender, A Head in the Polls
- Hermes, The Deep South
- Fry, Anthology Of Interest I

[Reply #545 on:]

Me: Nooo! Not again!  Please, anything else...

Boss: Hmm...hmmm....hmmm.......NO!

(Try to escape through small window)

Me: I could fit if I didn't have these damn arms!

(Gnaw at my shoulders)

Fry -SP3K
Man -TShL
Fry -FatSF

[Reply #546 on:]

three - two - one - time's up boys and girls!
(only boys so far  )

Ok, now for declaring the winner:

It's the sixpack of ducks! Birdbot I choose you!

[Reply #547 on:]

It's that thing!  The thing where it's been over 86400 seconds!  Quick, someone steal Birdbot's thunder!

possibly you, DrThunder

[Reply #548 on:]

I'll do it!

Okay, your at the pool and you see a whole group of obese men wearing speedos. What do you say?

[Reply #549 on:]

Me:  I'm not saying they're fat but judging by their weight they're likely to die soon!

(Fat man clutches his chest)

Other Fat Man:  Dear God, he's having a heart attack!

Me: (ignoring this) I like your clogged arteries. I find them very... carotic.

Fat Man: What?

Me: (shouting) Carotic! Carotic!  carotic! carotic


Zoidberg - A clone of My Own (edited)
Terry and Old Man- Cryonic Woman
Leela and Zapp  - Love's Labors Lost in Space (edited for pun)

[Reply #550 on:]

"OOHHHH, geez oh man its right of the fatometer"
- edited from farnsworth in "A big piece of garbage"

[Reply #551 on:]

Me: (Don't say anything, just give them the look Farnsworth gave naked, shell-less Zoidberg in "Amazon Women in the Mood" )
-Farnsworth in "AWitM"

[Reply #552 on:]

*gagging and retching*

-Fry, A Big Piece of Garbage (when fry smells the garbage ball for the first time)

[Reply #553 on:]

"This thread stinks!... Newbie"

Paraphrased from Whale Biologist, Three Hundred Big Boys

[Reply #554 on:]

Me: Destiny has cheated me
By forcing me to decide upon
The eyes that I idolize
Or seeing fat men wearing Speedos
Without my eyes, I can't see stuff I really like!
But if I keep them, and I look at them,
Then I probably won't want them anymore.
Friend:*Hands me a fork* Here, you can use this as an eye poker.
Fry, paraphrased, TDHAIPT
Bender, LLLIS

[Reply #555 on:]

Bender: you really want a robot as a friend
Fry: yeah ever since i was 6
Bender: okay fry but i don't want people thinking were robosexulals so if anyone asks your my deep booger.

[Reply #556 on:]

(gives them the same look Fry used in "A Big Piece Of Garbage" when looking into his sandwich)
"Oh, monkey trumpets. I'm going to swim with the whales!"

 - Fry, "A Big Piece Of Garbage"
 - Kif, "Where The Buggalo Roam"
 - Leela "Three Hundred Big Boyes"

 
 
Edit: but we all know this would be the correct response:

[Reply #557 on:]

Me: Hey! I don't like what I'm seeing! Let's clear the place, Andrew!
Andrew: We're outta game!
(We leave the pool)

The mugger and his robot Andrew, Less Than Hero

@Bendingforlife: Deep booger? Since I'm a hobbyist programmer I always thought he said "debugger".

[Reply #558 on:]

Heh, I'll agree with Xerxes... Although "deep booger" did make me laugh...

[Reply #559 on:]

"Deep booger" is officially DrThunder's Best Thing of the Month for July 2004.  I hereby award Bendingforlife 20 ThunderPoints.  Kudos!