If you were in Terry's shoes...

[on:]

We all know Terry said "Welcome to the world of tomorrow!" to the new defrostees. We saw Fry and Bender with the wacky adventures in The Cryonic Woman. Now what would you say to new defrostees?

Personally, I think it would be hard to top "Welcome to the world of tomorrow!" but something along the lines of "Brains...brains!" like in those zombie movies would work just fine.

Notes: If this has been done before, close this thread. If you feel it needs to be moved to Offtopic, then do it. I'm not very good at starting new threads, which is why I only do it rarely.

[Reply #1 on:]

 

Originally posted by TheLampIncident:
We saw Fry and Bender with the wacky adventures in The Cryonic Woman.

That pretty much covers what I would do.

[Reply #2 on:]

"Bathroom's that way *points*"

Hey, thats what the defrostees want to hear..

[Reply #3 on:]

Here's a coke. Here's a LazyBoy. Her's a TV with unlimited channels of any type. All you gotta do is search. That's what you came to the future for right?

[Reply #4 on:]

"This is the year -4323... you've magically froze BACK in time! hahaha... but seriously, welcome to 3000!"

[Reply #5 on:]

I really like Bender's approach, with the gorilla or fly masks.  Clearly that is the best way to go. 

[Reply #6 on:]

Actually I don't think defrostees would need to use a bathroom considering all body functions ceased, even the ones that produce urine.

[Reply #7 on:]

i guess the joke is that they've been asleep for 1,000 years, not frozen, and thus they'd have to pee REAL bad.

[Reply #8 on:]

I'd just give a simple "What up", or wear a nasty gorilla mask.

[Reply #9 on:]

"Welcome to te year 3000.
Now get the hell out."

[Reply #10 on:]

"Welcome to the world of Tomorrow!!  Now, I hope you have the money to pay for the cryonics, otherwise you're going back in the tube."

[Reply #11 on:]

"They legalized all the stuff you wanted to do!"

Now that's what I'd want to hear.

[Reply #12 on:]

It would be pretty funny if I did what Bender did and wore a mask to scare them.

[Reply #13 on:]

 

Originally posted by evan:
"Welcome to the world of Tomorrow!!  Now, I hope you have the money to pay for the cryonics, otherwise you're going back in the tube."

What, untill they have the money?
This makes NO SENSE, Wiggles!

[Reply #14 on:]

I'd probably just fall asleep and let the defrostees figure it out for themselves.

[Reply #15 on:]

"Welcome to the future, thanks for choosing Applied Cryogenics....everyone you knew, loved and/or hated in the past is either dead or frozen....that'll be 500 dollars please....

"NEXT....!"

[Reply #16 on:]

Put on a pair of devil horns and say they died during the freezing process, and that for using such evil things as Cryogenics, they have to go to hell. Then lock them in a cupboard. Which would be funny just to see how long it took them to figure out what was going on.

[Reply #17 on:]

 

Originally posted by Ekarderif:
Actually I don't think defrostees would need to use a bathroom considering all body functions ceased, even the ones that produce urine.

But theyre frozen so maybe when they are defrosted all the water defrosts inside and they have to piss.

[Reply #18 on:]

Give the defrostee a tired look and ask him with my most annoyed voice: "What the hell do you want?"

Or Terry's line, it's a classic afterall.

[Reply #19 on:]

 

Originally posted by SwanMan3000:
 But theyre frozen so maybe when they are defrosted all the water defrosts inside and they have to piss.

And if you remember from "the cryonic woman" that defrostee looked pretty damn happy to be pointed in the direction of a bathroom.

I know i would...

[Reply #20 on:]

 

Originally posted by QueenOfRobonia:
Put on a pair of devil horns and say they died during the freezing process, and that for using such evil things as Cryogenics, they have to go to hell. Then lock them in a cupboard. Which would be funny just to see how long it took them to figure out what was going on.

Oh your God, I would have done that, too. Or Bender's appraoch. Can't beat the classics..or just point them to the bathroom.Or just say this: "Ok, so before you say it, I will for you. *Slams body to window and looks out.Fixes face into either freaked out/scared/amazed.* "Oh my god! The Future! My family, my friends, everyone I knew and loved and or hated is gone!" That'll be $25, bathroom's that way, then strip naked and get on the Probulator.Then, pay me a service charge of $10."

[Reply #21 on:]

'Sorry we don't have a cure for that yet.'

I'd probably pull a few pranks similar to Bender's too.

[Reply #22 on:]

 

Originally posted by QueenOfRobonia:
Put on a pair of devil horns and say they died during the freezing process, and that for using such evil things as Cryogenics, they have to go to hell. Then lock them in a cupboard. Which would be funny just to see how long it took them to figure out what was going on.

Or you could go further. Put on a white cloak and a big white beard, say you're God and that the defrostee has gone to heaven. Then, after lulling them into a false sense of security, remove the cloak and beard to reveal the devil costume, and you can guess where it goes from there... 

[Reply #23 on:]

Before they woke up, I would move their tube to LA, like in Cryonic Woman.

Just let them wander around in that wasteland for a few days...

[Reply #24 on:]

YOU ARE A SICK AND EVIL MAN ALLITERATION!


Na i'm just kiddin ya. I'd probably do the same thing.

[Reply #25 on:]

I'd turn all the cryogenic tubes upsidedown.

[Reply #26 on:]

10 minutes before they are to be defrosted, turn the knob up to 1000 years again. Or just turn the cryogenic chamber around so it faces the wall and let them figure it out.

[Reply #27 on:]

Two words:

Curly Shuffle.

But seriously, I'd probably just welcome them by telling them that they owed me a pizza or two for helping them out of the tube safely.  Or else, I'd get some weird animal to trample them.

[Reply #28 on:]

There's a Life in Hell cartoon where a guy get unfrozen and the attendant says, "Welcome to the Future, X-3957. You owe us $3 Billion in storage fees." very similar to what evan said.

[Reply #29 on:]

"Welcome to the world of tomorrow!!!!!  And sorry, we had a couple power failures so several of your internal organs have died, as have your reproductive organs.  You now have 5 minutes to live, err 4 minutes 55 seconds."

[Reply #30 on:]

 

Originally posted by Teral:
Give the defrostee a tired look and ask him with my most annoyed voice: "What the hell do you want?"

How can you say "what the hell do you want?" any other way but annoyed?

I would stand up right close to them naked smiling with their door locked then id let them out and show them some frozen naked pictures id taken of them.

[Reply #31 on:]

You could be angry, or crazy. Annoyed just means: "you disturbed me in something very important, and I'm going to bitch about every 10th second, but in the end I'll do my job and help you along", whereas angry means "get the hell out of my office and never return".

[Reply #32 on:]

"the Bathroom is that way", Then I would point in the wrong direction

[Reply #33 on:]

"Oh, while you were asleep I broke your bed."

By the way, El Scorcho, the line is "If I met you in a scissor fight, i'd cut off both your wings on principle alone.". Just a friendly pointer 

[Reply #34 on:]

I'd point all the males in the direction of a bathroom at the other end of NYC, and tell all the females that I was the last man left on Earth.

[Reply #35 on:]

 

Originally posted by PCC Fred:
 and tell all the females that I was the last man left on Earth.

That has to be the best idea i'd ever heard.


Ever.


Period.

[Reply #36 on:]

I'd dress up as a mad scientist, cut their arms and legs off, watch them slowly bleed to death then start laughing and fix them with one of those crazy lazer things Zoidberg has. Either that or the last man on earth thing.