Good news everyone!

[on:]

There are loads of times at the beginning of episodes when the professor says "good news everyone..." generally followed by something funny, can anyone think of an really good ones of these?

"Good news everyone! I'm technically still alive!!"

[Reply #1 on:]

Good news everyone!The University is bringing me up on disiplinary charges. Wait! Thats not good news at all!

[Reply #2 on:]

good news everyone! we can now watch TWO king of the hill eps as a result of futurama's cancellation!

[Reply #3 on:]

Heh.
Bad news, nobody. The super-collider super-exploded!

[Reply #4 on:]

Prof: (walks in the room with everyone) Good news everyone! (falls asleep while standing)
Fry: Come on! where's the good news?
Bender: No Fry! You're mistakened.  The professer is just walking and talking in his sleep.....again....

[Reply #5 on:]

Good news everyone! Today you'll be delivering a package to a plenty entirely populated with robots who kill humans on arrival of the planet, so long!

[Reply #6 on:]

Prof: good news everyone! ive stoped smoking crack

fry: now who am i sapose to steel it from

[Reply #7 on:]

Prof: good news everyone! bill gates's head finally got sewed for creating his virus deflecter which deflected the virus onto slighty overweight chicks with low selfesteem and unibrows.  Now who earned all their 900 billion dollars from building a virus delfector and wasted that money to build that virus deflector?

Leela: What? that makes no sense what so ever?

Prof: Yes! Precisly!

Bender: Hey fry, in your time, how was bill gates, was he still the low life apatimy of modern man

Fry: same old, same old,

[Reply #8 on:]

These are the best ones IMO
---------------------------

Good news everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love!

News, Everyone!

Good news, everyone! Today you're all going to Ebola 5, the disease planet! (why not go tomorrow?) Because tonight is the scientist convention, and I want you all to be alive! (sounds boring!) Oh my, yes.

[Reply #9 on:]

(I think this is how it goes)
Professor:Good news everyone!You'll be picking up some ordinary honey.
Leela: Okay.
Professor: This is no ordinary honey!

[Reply #10 on:]

its closer to

Professor: this will be your most dangerous mission yet, its the one that killed my last crew.

Leela: whats the mission?

Professor: collecting honey, ordinary honey.

Leela: that doesnt seem so dangerous.

Professor: THIS IS NO ORDINARY HONEY!

[Reply #11 on:]

You are so right!

I feel really stupid for my post earlier now.
          
(Goes and cries in a corner)

Welcome to PEEL, Muledogus!
 

[Reply #12 on:]

dont feel stupid, i know i dont have it exact either

[Reply #13 on:]

good news everybody, i have just scene my life fly by before my eyes (where you about to die) are you stupid!

[Reply #14 on:]

Bad News Everyone!  Your not good enough to go on your next mission...