Best Futurama Quotes

[Reply #80 on:]

One of the orphans: "Daddy Bender...we're hungry.."

Bender: "What is it with you kids! Every other day it's food food food!"

*does a totp dance*

[Reply #81 on:]

Various Aliens: "SILENCE!"

 - Several Episodes
(another MULTIQUOTE!)

[Reply #82 on:]

Bender::Yahooooo!-That'll teach those horses to take drugs..
_________________________
The luck of the Fryish.

[Reply #83 on:]

Fry: "Hey, Leela...how about a kiss for luck?"
{Leela sighs and kisses him on the cheek}
Fry: "I meant, 'tongue luck'"

-"Luck of the Fryish", again.

[Reply #84 on:]

Nichelle Nichols: "Murder isn't working, and that's all we're good at."

 - AOI I

[Reply #85 on:]

from the rather good episode "A Taste Of Freedom":

Fry: “So what is Freedom Day? Sounds like some kinda feminine hygiene product.”
Zoidberg: “No! It’s a fabulous, crapulous day.”
Amy: “If you wanna do something, you do it. And to spleckh with the consequences!”
Bender: “You know, how I live every day.”

(Amy and Leela start to take their clothes off)
Fry: “Waauv. Nude hot-tubing? That’s all I need to hear about Freedom Day.” (Me too.)

Freedom Day... Express yourself!
  I hate my job!

Zapp: “Happy Freedom Day, ladies. Come on, let loose and show my something. Anything. Seriously, I’d take an armpit.”
Kif: [sigh]

(Linda has just recieved a necklace from Zapp, for flashing him)
Linda: “Okay Morbo, now it’s your turn.”
Morbo: “If that’s your Freedom Day wish.”
(Morbo, get up, turn around, pull up his shirt, Linda scream horribly)

Nixon: “Thank you, Secretary of Transportation.“

Nixon: My fellow Earthicans, we enjoy so much freedom, it’s almost sickening. We’re free to chose which hand our sex-monitoring chip is implanted in. And if we don’t want to pay our taxes, why, we’re free to spend a weekend with the pain-monster.”
Pain-monster: “See you April 15th folks.”

Zoidberg: “I’m swelling with patriotic mucus.”

Nixon: (about Zoidy) “Stop that red menace!”

Zoidberg: “My country’s embassy. They’re paid not to kill me.”

Zoidberg: “Ambassador Moiven, you and your staff are so kind. I’m truely humbled. ... What no marshmallows!!”

Nixon: “Let’s storm the place!! ... without my prior knowledge.”

Leela: “Cool your jowls, Nixon. You [?] that Zoidberg desecrated a flag. You may even find the image of it festering in his bowels somehow offensive, but the right to freedom of expression is guaranteed by the Earth Constitution.”
Nixon: “Ahrrrroooo! Maybe so, but I know a place where the Constitution doesn’t mean squat!”
(Cut to the Supreme Court)

(Fry and Leela listen to an anti-Zoidberg folk singer)
Fry: “We’re we ever going to find a lawyer to take his case?”
Leela: “I’ll ask the head of the ACLU, once he’s done singing.”
Head of ACLU: “Doooon’t meeeeess wiith Eeeearth. ..  KILL ZOIDBERG!!”

Fry: “Who are you old man?”
Old Man Waterfall: “Name’s Old Man Waterfall, but most folks just call me Old Man.”
Fry: “I’ll never remember that.”

Zoidberg: “Oh God, I’m nerveous. Two of my three hearts are having attacks.”

Bender: “Court’s kinda fun, when it’s not my ass on the line.”

(Zoidy is guilty)
Supreme Court President: “The court orders an immediate apology.”
Zoidberg: “Apology accepted. Just don’t let it happen again.”
Hermes: “She means you, you turkey of the sea!”

Ambassador Moiven: “Attack Earth! ... Yes, I know it’s a schlepp. Just do it!”

Zapp: “Okay, Kif. Let’s show these freaks what a bloated, run-away military budget can do!”

Kif: “Sir, all planetary defenses have been disabled. Perhaps the Decapodians acquired our secret code...somehow!”
Zapp: “Well, Kif, stand by to take the blame. Steady, steady, now!”

Fry: “Hey wait, I’m having one of those things. You know an headache, with pictures.”
Leela: “An idea?”

Zoidberg: “Ambassador Moiven, you killed my lawyer.”
Ambassador Moiven: “You’re welcome.”

Leela: “Zoidberg, you set us free. I feel like I could stand to hug you. I can’t, but you know what I’m trying to say.”

[Reply #86 on:]

1st Post!
   

Zapp: "I suffer from a terrible learning disease, Kif, what do i call it?"
Kif: "Sexlexia"


Zapp: "Cant you ask a little more sexily?..."
Leela: "Oh please, Big Zee"

[Reply #87 on:]

Welcome, Tornado!

Morgan Proctor: "Dirty Boy. Dirty, dirty, dirty..."

 - How Hermes requestioned his groove back

[Reply #88 on:]

Welcome Tornado

Bender: Damn you old man!

[Reply #89 on:]

Robots: Hey-hey! Ho-ho! One-zero-zero-one-one-ze-ro!


Bender: Goodbye, suckers whom I always hated! *Goes out the door and gets in agian* C'mon! It will be funn!

[Reply #90 on:]

"This is the worst kind of discrimination... the kind against me!"

[Reply #91 on:]

Fry: Goodbye, suckers! Er... hello suckers..

[Reply #92 on:]

Keeping with the theme:

Bender: "So long, coffin stuffers!" (Bender wrecks his car) "Eeeh, could one of you coffin stuffers please carry me?"

[Reply #93 on:]

Professor: This is an outrage! I demand that you hand over you captain's jacket.

Leela: But this is my normal jacket.  I've had it for 5 years.

Professor: I said hand it over!

[Reply #94 on:]

Amy: Oh no! My body! Where's my parasoll?
Bender: I don't know. It wasn't here when I took your umbrella.

[Reply #95 on:]

One from the season 2 commentaries that usually cracks me up:

Show spoiler

Glab: "TAnd now to cut the ribbon the legendary DOOP captain, who have just returned from a triumphant carpet bombing of Eden 7, Zapp Brannigan!"
Billy West: "Sociopath."

[Reply #96 on:]

Hippie: You can't own this place man!

Professor: Of course I can! And that's because I'm not a pennyless hippie!

[Reply #97 on:]

Bender: Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine, I'll go build my own lunar lander! With blackjack and hookers! In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack! Ah, screw the whole thing.
-The series had landed

[Reply #98 on:]

The Honking

Fry: Words! Nothing but sweet, sweet words that turn into bitter orange wax in my ear!

[Reply #99 on:]

Professor: "Who needs courage, when you have a gun?"

 - AOI II

[Reply #100 on:]

Fry: I know that monkey! His name is Donkey!
Farnsworth: Monkeys aren't Donkeys! Quit messing with my head!

AOI II

[Reply #101 on:]

(Zoidberg)Amy, this is for you, a set of calms for you´r beautyful hair. (Amy) Ohh, that´s so sweet, but i sold my hair to a wid-maker so i could buy a set of calms to hermies. (Hermies) Ohh, the irony, i sold my hair so i could buy this third set of calms to Zoidbeg. (Zoiberg) Thank you, these will come in handy for my new hair. (Zoidber with Hermie´s and Amy´s hair)

Xmas stry, or if it´s Cristmas story, don´t know, not so funny here, but my Avatar show how he look like if you have´nt seen it before...
 

[Reply #102 on:]

 
Hope it is oay i post 1 more...

femputor: I sentence you to deth.
Fry, Zapp, Kiff: Oh no.
Femputor: By SnoSno
Fry, Zapp: Wohoo
Kiff: noo
Zapp to Kiff: What are you?, Gay?

Amazone women in the mood   

[Reply #103 on:]

Kill me.

Bender:*on the phone*..Let me check..*Picks Albert up*Aww,Aren't you a cutie..*put's Albert down*About 25 pounds...
_____________________________ _______________
--The Cyber House Rules.

[Reply #104 on:]

Fry: *gasp* Some Bart Simpson dolls!
Bart Doll: Eat my shorts!
Bender: Ok! Mmm...shorts.
-A Big Piece of Garbage

[Reply #105 on:]

Fry: (annoyed) I once had a friend who used to smell things with me.

-The Honking

[Reply #106 on:]

Salesman:I'm glad you dont care whether any 1 questions your sexual orientation
Fry:I care, i care plenty i just dont no how to make it stop
Salesman:One word Thundercougarfakenbird

[Reply #107 on:]

Hermes: We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil! Ours is small and neutral!
That Guy: Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!
Amy: Look, everyone wants to be like Germany. But do we really have the pure strength of will?

[Reply #108 on:]

Flexo, though sounding just like Bender, seems to have this voice that's so funny to me.

Fry: I saw you looking at the atom.
Flexo: So, I look at lots of atoms. Shouldn't you be resting up for your shift?
Fry: Oh, you'd like it if I went to sleep, wouldn't you?
Flexo: Whatever it takes to shut your yapper. [laughs] No, I'm just kidding, you're a joker.
...
Fry: Well, that's 8 hours.
Flexo: Yeah, 8 hours of solid boredom. [laughs] No, I'm just kidding, you're a wonderful man.
- Lesser of Two Evils

[Reply #109 on:]

Fry: I'm getting one of those things again.  You know, a hedache with pictures.

Leela: An idea?

[Reply #110 on:]

Leela: "Okay, if everyone's done being stupid..."
Fry: "I had more, but go on..."

Amy: "Ai! The keys! Leela's going to kill me!"
Bender: "Nah, she'll probably have me do it."

[Reply #111 on:]

"Space travel was just a metaphor for beating his wife!"

[Reply #112 on:]

"I died doing what I loved!!"

[Reply #113 on:]

Space Pirate: I learned too late me real treasure were me grandchildren.

[Reply #114 on:]

Some Guy Uhh.. I'd like an extra beutiful bouqet for m sweetheart please.
[Tree hands the guy a bouquet]
Adalai Average please!

[Reply #115 on:]

Bender: I'm back baby

[Reply #116 on:]

"They jump right out of their pants"

[Reply #117 on:]

Bender: "I never made anybody's life easy and you know it!"

[Reply #118 on:]

Professor: .....because I am dying...cough and fall over dead
Zoidberg:My god, he's dead!
*Professor checks*

[Reply #119 on:]

"...you win again, gravity"