Inquisitor Hein
Liquid Emperor
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One of my favorite dark jokes does in fact involve the Dark One:
Nine: "After all these eons, the Dark Ones are no more. Will you preserve their DNA, O' Great Encyclopod?" Encyclopod: "I suppose I should."
The slight hesitation was just hilarious, you could really hear the thought "Erm...when I meant EVERY life is precious, I didn't mean...erm...DAMNED!!! Why couldn't this idiot just shut the fuck up...."
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Gorky
DOOP Secretary
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"I have to go to some charity bs for knocked up teenage sluts." Mom is just so evil.
That may be my favorite Mom quote ever (followed closely by "Jam a bastard in it, you crap!"). And I loved Larry telling Mom in "Overclockwise" that no one destroys a boy like her. It's a terrible notion, but so very, very true (and so very, very funny).
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SpaceMaN
Urban Legend
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That may be my favorite Mom quote ever In that case: "Make that bitch your bitch you bastard!" * may have been in a commentary
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DannyJC13
DOOP Secretary
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"It's a doorbell baby! Hello, little guy. You know, I was abandoned as a baby too, so-" "Garbage, huh? I'll take care of it." *Begins to stamp on the basket*
Dunno if it counts, but it made me laugh.
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Inquisitor Hein
Liquid Emperor
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Stomping on a (believed to be) abandoned baby should certainly count;)
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Zmithy
Professor
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« Reply #50 on: 11-04-2011 01:30 »
« Last Edit on: 11-04-2011 01:32 »
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The dark jokes are my favourites. "Completely unharmed!" ..... *thud* The whole scene with Bender giving his firstborn to the Robot Devil. "Wait a second.. lots of water.. large power supply.. I can choose electrocution *or* drowning!" The "Bear Hospital".
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spira
Liquid Emperor
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The whole scene with Bender giving his firstborn to the Robot Devil.
Ahaha, yes. Just remembered the Professor's "It's easier just to have you die" line from, um, some Season 6 ep. Don't remember.
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Tachyon
DOOP Secretary
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Yes, the "Bear Hospital" was shocking, horrifying, and delightfully hilarious!
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Inquisitor Hein
Liquid Emperor
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« Reply #53 on: 11-06-2011 10:45 »
« Last Edit on: 11-06-2011 10:51 »
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The whole scene with Bender giving his firstborn to the Robot Devil.
Ahaha, yes.
Just remembered the Professor's "It's easier just to have you die" line from, um, some Season 6 ep. Don't remember.
You probably mean this one from "Law and Oracle": "Bender: So where are we going? Professor: Pandora. Leela: That dangerous 3D planet? Can't we just send our avatars? Professor: No, it's cheaper just to have you die."
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TheMadCapper
Fluffy
UberMod
DOOP Secretary
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I'm dismayful and horrorized that nobody's mentioned Stop 'n' Drop, America's favorite suicide booth since 2008. Every time a suicide booth comes into play, it's funny. How about the Xmas episode in which a store employee suggests fry use the suicide booth, though there's always a line this time of year?
Also, from Cyber House Rules: "You're under arrest for child neglect, child endangerment, depriving children of food, selling children as food, and misrepresenting the weight of livestock! "
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Inquisitor Hein
Liquid Emperor
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one of my personal favorites is in The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz, when Leela points her gun at the penguins. "Remember, don't leave orphans, gotta kill off entire families."
Hehe..I have to admit I never really carefully thought about that phrase. "Okay...instead of letting a young one starve to death slow and painfully, rather kill it quickly". Sounded okay and the most obvious thing to do. Just today when I read your quote I suddenly realised how mean that phrase must be for Leela being an orphan herself....
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Tachyon
DOOP Secretary
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Yes, the "Bear Hospital" was shocking, horrifying, and delightfully hilarious!
The first time I saw that, I actually frigging cried. I was very sensitive those days and anything that had anything to do with cute little animals being hurt drove me to tears. Keep in mind I was 7.
I understand, pumpkinpie. FWIW, at the risk of showing my sensitive side on Peel, I have walked out of a party at a restaurant when people began making tasteless jokes relating to hurting cats. And picked up worms and caterpillars off a hot sidewalk after a summer rain. And stopped on a bikeride to comfort a dying cat that had been hit and mortally injured by a car. But I did smile at the grim humour of the "hospital".
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Gorky
DOOP Secretary
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I'm watching BBS right now, and it occurs to me that the Scammers' plan to turn New New York into a private panda-hunting reserve is both very dark and very funny. I enjoy watching those pandas dumbly tumble out of the back of Sal's truck way more than a good person should.
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Welshy
Crustacean
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Pretty much anything related to orphanhood.
Vogel:Leela! You`re worthless and no one will ever love you! Leela:You used to say that all the time! Vogel:Oh, those were happier days.
Farnsworth:You all know the orphanarium where Leela grew up. Fry:Sure. We talk about it all the time. Leela:Really? Fry:No. Burn!
Farnsworth:Said orphanarium has named Leela "Orphan of the Year." Amy:Your parents must be so proud!
Fry:When you were a kid, what was your ultimate dream? Leela:To have parents. Fry:Okay...The correct answer is, to be a superhero!
Vogel:Sometimes you gotta choose between eating and reading. So they ate the books.
Fry:Look, it`s not the food that`s important. Tinny Tim:I`m so hungry...
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Gorky
DOOP Secretary
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Fry:When you were a kid, what was your ultimate dream? Leela:To have parents. Fry:Okay...The correct answer is, to be a superhero!
Heh, I love that line. At least the harshness is slightly lessened by the fact that Leela has actually met her parents by this point. Another orphan-related cruel-but-funny moment that I love comes from "The Cyber House Rules": Leela discovering the basket in front of the PE building, and Bender proceeding to stomp on it. I think it's great that Leela refers to an (ostensible) orphan as "a doorbell baby," and that Bender continues to crush the basket even after being told this ("A baby what?").
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