Everybody's got a little caption in 'em! (Framegrabs)

[#360 :]

And the magic 8-ball says that the WINNER is…

*  seattlejohn01  *

[#361 :]

it's been thirty-six hours according to that thing I wear on my wrist so:

 

[#362 :]

Leela: Hey Amy, have you guessed what I had to eat for dinner last night yet?

Amy: Leela, you have a Chao Chee Bai!

(looking up swear words in Chinese is great fun!  )

[#363 :]

Amy: Leela, I thought we were supposed to wrestle in mud, not inside Bender's chest cavity!

[#364 :]

Leela: Wow, I don't remember eating that! Haha!

Amy: *rolls eyes*

[#365 :]

Leela: Try to see the funny side, Amy. You're being the condom between me and Zapp.

Amy: (thinks unrepeatable Mandarin swear words)

[#366 :]

Congratulations! It's a girl...

[#367 :]

Leela: Uh... it's a rare massage of my people?
Amy: Oh, a sewer massage! No wonder you're using your ass!

[#368 :]

Being a lesbian in the 31st century is hard work now that several tons of machinery are required.

[#369 :]

Amy: [Thinking to herself] Why, oh-why didn't I bring one of those Lady Neck Protector things with me? Oh, that's right. The color scheme the professor used was atrocious!

[#370 :]

Leela: Amy! the view up here is great! Do you mind holding me up a little longer so i can make my big eye happy  for just a sec longer? Pleaseee...
Amy: [loud] if you have to.... [thinking] why the hell i got tricked into being a seat?, also i 'd want to have my bottom as good bottom as Leela has..., wait! maybe  i should get a plastic surgery to change my own into such... or maybe not...i need to think about it
Leela: just a little longer....
Amy [still thinking:] great....  now i have time to think about it!!!

[#371 :]

Weiner wins, with frisco a close second

[#372 :]

Ballin'.

[#373 :]

Zapp: Alright men, the ass-kicking plan is simple. Explain it, Kif.

Kif: *sigh* Our troops' enormous boots are represented by the triangles, the blue circles represent asses, in the top right you can see the enemy's ass.

[#374 :]

Zapp: Alright men, the ass-kicking plan is simple. Explain it, Kif.

Kif: *sigh* Our troops' enormous boots are represented by the triangles, the blue circles represent asses, in the top right you can see the enemy's ass.

Zapp:  And this men, is the concept of "humour".  I see that ShepherdofShark have yet to understand this concept.

[#375 :]

Hey, at least it was original. Unlike basing one's caption on someone else's lame attempt.

[#376 :]

Zapp: "Many bothans died to bring us thing information."

[#377 :]

Zapp: And so that's how the spermicide I used when I got down with your wife worked.

[#378 :]

Zapp: Squad A will engage his armored division of multi-faceted antiheroes on the surface while Squad B will infiltrate the Shadow Gallery, defeat Alan Moore once and for all, and recover all the stolen copies of the Watchmen movie before he has a chance to destroy them.

Kif: I didn't really think it was that good anyway. It didn't even have the squi...

Zapp: The next person to complain about the squid will be forced to watch The League of Extraordinary Gentleman. So help me God, I'll do it!

[#379 :]

And the magic 8-ball says that the WINNER is…

*  seattlejohn01  *

Sorry I missed it.


Zapp:  Alright troops, here's how my ingenious plan works.  As you can see from my expertly drawn up battleplan map, our ships are represented by these blue triangles, you men these stick figures, our enemy the round blue ball.  Our plan, in the short strokes, will be to send wave after wave of suicide flights towards our enemy, in hopes that they run out of ammunition.  It will be a slaughter, but that's a chance I'm willing to take.  Questions?

Kif:  Sir, that's not your battleplan map.  That's your candyland game board.

Zapp:  Kif, how many times have I told you to keep them separate?  Go get my battleplan map.  And recommend youself for a court martial.  If there's one thing a 24 star Captain like myself cannot put up with, it's a sloppy 2nd in command.

Kif:  (Sigh)...

[#380 :]

Zapp: Dear lord, they've sank my battleship...!

Kif: [groans]

[#381 :]

After his demotion, Zapp was reassigned to be a space weatherman.

[#382 :]

Zapp: ...then using the Jonas Brothers as bait we swoop in and destroy every last one of those green, pointy headed, squishy little bastards in the galaxy. Any questions?

Kif: Ah...

Zapp: Yes, then the Jonas Brothers too.

[#383 :]

Narrator: We now return you to your previously scheduled program: ZAPP BRANNIGAN Explains The Mysteries Of Space. This week he is discussing the curvature of Space-Time.
Zapp: … Oh, and throw in a few more of these flying weggie things here and they all come together in the "big boom" and…
Kiff: Bang, sir.
Zapp: Eh, what was that Kiff?
Kiff: Its known as the "Big Bang", sir.
Zapp: No, as you can plainly see its written here as "Boom".
Kiff: But you wrote that yourself.
Zapp: Exactly, Kiff. Get with the program… and quit interrupting me for God's sake.
Kiff: [Signs]
Zapp: Anyway… (where was I… oh yes) and that, home viewer, is how we know the universe to be banana-shaped.

[#384 :]

Zapp: And these were the ships that attacked my character in the video game I played last night.
Kif: (sigh)

[#385 :]

Zapp: ok... i thought this [points at the board] was just a "make-own-empire" video game... now i see i started a REAL war with Threpotiblonians from thretoxis 299,99C and those blue dots are us... and those triangles are enemy nukes... what to do Kif?! advise! you are here to do this... among other things...
Kif: uh... we better start running now or we'll be turned into radioactive dust in 30seconds
Zapp: GREAT plan i have made! Kif... execute!

[#386 :]

Zapp:  The Omicrons are trying to invade earth again, so we attack at dawn! 

Kiff:  I thought we attacked at midnight, sir!

Zapp:  Nope, at dawn!  So, get up early Kiff!

Kiff:  *sighs*

[#387 :]

Zapp: Well, as you can see here, three people will float around pointlessly into space, some triangles will shoot out of this circle here and some more triangles will come out from this other circle followed by a 'boom' over here. It's so simple an idiot could have thought it up!

Kif: *sigh*

[#388 :]

Zapp: The approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station.

[#389 :]

(Why, that's only as big as a womp rat!)

[#390 :]

[Aside]
   Damn, I wish my one had been Zapp discussing contraception, but I only thought of it just now.   
[/Aside]

[#391 :]

Well, if you want to change it, go ahead.  I think yours is hilarious as is...

[#392 :]

Well, if you want to change it, go ahead.  I think yours is hilarious as is...

Well he can't, because I already did it.

[#393 :]

I could go with Frisco for the best reference made this round, but I'll go with NastyInThePasty. Honorable mention to Futurama_Freak1.

[#394 :]

E'wah...?

[#395 :]

Calculon: so lady? who is your greatest idol?[thinking] me i bet
some lady: Now Bender! rob him!

[#396 :]

lady: I've got him cornered!

[#397 :]

Another one of those "should have been there" scenarios.

Calculon:  And that's how I won the Oscar!
Loon:  Ooooooo--

Note: I only made this lame attempt due to the expressions on both face's could easily imply this conversation!

[#398 :]

All My Circuits studio worker:  I can't believe it... I've been... groped... by CALCULON!

Calculon:  And how priveleged you must be, nameless production assistant.  Now, go get me a half caff cappuccino smoothie with extra 10-40 motor oil...

[#399 :]

Lady: Oh my God, Calculon touched me, he...

Bender (bursting in): I'm really happy for you, and I'ma let you finish, but Mark David Chapman was the greatest deranged fan of all time!