Everybody's got a little caption in 'em! (Framegrabs)

[Reply #360 on:]

And the magic 8-ball says that the WINNER is…

*  seattlejohn01  *

[Reply #361 on:]

it's been thirty-six hours according to that thing I wear on my wrist so:

 

[Reply #362 on:]

Leela: Hey Amy, have you guessed what I had to eat for dinner last night yet?

Amy: Leela, you have a Chao Chee Bai!

(looking up swear words in Chinese is great fun!  )

[Reply #363 on:]

Amy: Leela, I thought we were supposed to wrestle in mud, not inside Bender's chest cavity!

[Reply #364 on:]

Leela: Wow, I don't remember eating that! Haha!

Amy: *rolls eyes*

[Reply #365 on:]

Leela: Try to see the funny side, Amy. You're being the condom between me and Zapp.

Amy: (thinks unrepeatable Mandarin swear words)

[Reply #366 on:]

Congratulations! It's a girl...

[Reply #367 on:]

Leela: Uh... it's a rare massage of my people?
Amy: Oh, a sewer massage! No wonder you're using your ass!

[Reply #368 on:]

Being a lesbian in the 31st century is hard work now that several tons of machinery are required.

[Reply #369 on:]

Amy: [Thinking to herself] Why, oh-why didn't I bring one of those Lady Neck Protector things with me? Oh, that's right. The color scheme the professor used was atrocious!

[Reply #370 on:]

Leela: Amy! the view up here is great! Do you mind holding me up a little longer so i can make my big eye happy  for just a sec longer? Pleaseee...
Amy: [loud] if you have to.... [thinking] why the hell i got tricked into being a seat?, also i 'd want to have my bottom as good bottom as Leela has..., wait! maybe  i should get a plastic surgery to change my own into such... or maybe not...i need to think about it
Leela: just a little longer....
Amy [still thinking:] great....  now i have time to think about it!!!

[Reply #371 on:]

Weiner wins, with frisco a close second

[Reply #372 on:]

Ballin'.

[Reply #373 on:]

Zapp: Alright men, the ass-kicking plan is simple. Explain it, Kif.

Kif: *sigh* Our troops' enormous boots are represented by the triangles, the blue circles represent asses, in the top right you can see the enemy's ass.

[Reply #374 on:]

Zapp: Alright men, the ass-kicking plan is simple. Explain it, Kif.

Kif: *sigh* Our troops' enormous boots are represented by the triangles, the blue circles represent asses, in the top right you can see the enemy's ass.

Zapp:  And this men, is the concept of "humour".  I see that ShepherdofShark have yet to understand this concept.

[Reply #375 on:]

Hey, at least it was original. Unlike basing one's caption on someone else's lame attempt.

[Reply #376 on:]

Zapp: "Many bothans died to bring us thing information."

[Reply #377 on:]

Zapp: And so that's how the spermicide I used when I got down with your wife worked.

[Reply #378 on:]

Zapp: Squad A will engage his armored division of multi-faceted antiheroes on the surface while Squad B will infiltrate the Shadow Gallery, defeat Alan Moore once and for all, and recover all the stolen copies of the Watchmen movie before he has a chance to destroy them.

Kif: I didn't really think it was that good anyway. It didn't even have the squi...

Zapp: The next person to complain about the squid will be forced to watch The League of Extraordinary Gentleman. So help me God, I'll do it!

[Reply #379 on:]

And the magic 8-ball says that the WINNER is…

*  seattlejohn01  *

Sorry I missed it.


Zapp:  Alright troops, here's how my ingenious plan works.  As you can see from my expertly drawn up battleplan map, our ships are represented by these blue triangles, you men these stick figures, our enemy the round blue ball.  Our plan, in the short strokes, will be to send wave after wave of suicide flights towards our enemy, in hopes that they run out of ammunition.  It will be a slaughter, but that's a chance I'm willing to take.  Questions?

Kif:  Sir, that's not your battleplan map.  That's your candyland game board.

Zapp:  Kif, how many times have I told you to keep them separate?  Go get my battleplan map.  And recommend youself for a court martial.  If there's one thing a 24 star Captain like myself cannot put up with, it's a sloppy 2nd in command.

Kif:  (Sigh)...

[Reply #380 on:]

Zapp: Dear lord, they've sank my battleship...!

Kif: [groans]

[Reply #381 on:]

After his demotion, Zapp was reassigned to be a space weatherman.

[Reply #382 on:]

Zapp: ...then using the Jonas Brothers as bait we swoop in and destroy every last one of those green, pointy headed, squishy little bastards in the galaxy. Any questions?

Kif: Ah...

Zapp: Yes, then the Jonas Brothers too.

[Reply #383 on:]

Narrator: We now return you to your previously scheduled program: ZAPP BRANNIGAN Explains The Mysteries Of Space. This week he is discussing the curvature of Space-Time.
Zapp: … Oh, and throw in a few more of these flying weggie things here and they all come together in the "big boom" and…
Kiff: Bang, sir.
Zapp: Eh, what was that Kiff?
Kiff: Its known as the "Big Bang", sir.
Zapp: No, as you can plainly see its written here as "Boom".
Kiff: But you wrote that yourself.
Zapp: Exactly, Kiff. Get with the program… and quit interrupting me for God's sake.
Kiff: [Signs]
Zapp: Anyway… (where was I… oh yes) and that, home viewer, is how we know the universe to be banana-shaped.

[Reply #384 on:]

Zapp: And these were the ships that attacked my character in the video game I played last night.
Kif: (sigh)

[Reply #385 on:]

Zapp: ok... i thought this [points at the board] was just a "make-own-empire" video game... now i see i started a REAL war with Threpotiblonians from thretoxis 299,99C and those blue dots are us... and those triangles are enemy nukes... what to do Kif?! advise! you are here to do this... among other things...
Kif: uh... we better start running now or we'll be turned into radioactive dust in 30seconds
Zapp: GREAT plan i have made! Kif... execute!

[Reply #386 on:]

Zapp:  The Omicrons are trying to invade earth again, so we attack at dawn! 

Kiff:  I thought we attacked at midnight, sir!

Zapp:  Nope, at dawn!  So, get up early Kiff!

Kiff:  *sighs*

[Reply #387 on:]

Zapp: Well, as you can see here, three people will float around pointlessly into space, some triangles will shoot out of this circle here and some more triangles will come out from this other circle followed by a 'boom' over here. It's so simple an idiot could have thought it up!

Kif: *sigh*

[Reply #388 on:]

Zapp: The approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station.

[Reply #389 on:]

(Why, that's only as big as a womp rat!)

[Reply #390 on:]

[Aside]
   Damn, I wish my one had been Zapp discussing contraception, but I only thought of it just now.   
[/Aside]

[Reply #391 on:]

Well, if you want to change it, go ahead.  I think yours is hilarious as is...

[Reply #392 on:]

Well, if you want to change it, go ahead.  I think yours is hilarious as is...

Well he can't, because I already did it.

[Reply #393 on:]

I could go with Frisco for the best reference made this round, but I'll go with NastyInThePasty. Honorable mention to Futurama_Freak1.

[Reply #394 on:]

E'wah...?

[Reply #395 on:]

Calculon: so lady? who is your greatest idol?[thinking] me i bet
some lady: Now Bender! rob him!

[Reply #396 on:]

lady: I've got him cornered!

[Reply #397 on:]

Another one of those "should have been there" scenarios.

Calculon:  And that's how I won the Oscar!
Loon:  Ooooooo--

Note: I only made this lame attempt due to the expressions on both face's could easily imply this conversation!

[Reply #398 on:]

All My Circuits studio worker:  I can't believe it... I've been... groped... by CALCULON!

Calculon:  And how priveleged you must be, nameless production assistant.  Now, go get me a half caff cappuccino smoothie with extra 10-40 motor oil...

[Reply #399 on:]

Lady: Oh my God, Calculon touched me, he...

Bender (bursting in): I'm really happy for you, and I'ma let you finish, but Mark David Chapman was the greatest deranged fan of all time!