Everybody's got a little caption in 'em! (Framegrabs)

[#280 :]

Leela: Well, it looks like we have some time on our hands.

[#281 :]

Bender: I thought I saw my grandfather here somewhere.

[#282 :]

Fry: well..., that leaves us no time for excuses...

[#283 :]

FRY: Hey, don't I remember that cat clock from somewhere?

[#284 :]

Fry: ...Leela? Did you just touch my leg?

Leela: Fry, I'm all the way over here.

Fry: (gulps) This is like Star Wars...I bet it's the garbage monster...oh no...can't breathe...the walls are starting to cave in! EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES!

Leela: Fry! Relax! Bender was just trying to steal you wallet.

Bender: You just have to ruin everything, don't you?

[#285 :]

Leela: Fry, is this some kind of elaborate wind-up?

[#286 :]

Leela: Yes yes, Fry. You've already told us that phase 1 was "Collect clocks" and that phase 3 is "Profit" but just how does phase 2 go again?

[#287 :]

Fry: Wow...I'm the first non-Brazilian person to travel through time.

Leela: Quiet, you...!

[#288 :]

Leela: Yes yes, Fry. You've already told us that phase 1 was "Collect clocks" and that phase 3 is "Profit" but just how does phase 2 go again?

Not even gonna try.

[#289 :]

Leela: OK, which one of you clock suckers is responsible for this?

Fry: Honest I was just twisting the night away. Next thing I knew - clocks everywhere!

Bender: Amy? Are you in there?

Amy: I'm OK.

[#290 :]

Fry:  Would someone please get rid of that cat clock!  It's giving me the creeps! 

Bender: (picks up the cat clock)  Meow!  Meow!  Meow!  Kiss me Fry!  Kiss me!

Fry: (running away screaming)

Leela:  Will they ever grow up?

Zoidberg:  You've been wondering about that, too? 

Farnsworth:  Why are all these clocks here, again? 

[#291 :]

Leela: Yes yes, Fry. You've already told us that phase 1 was "Collect clocks" and that phase 3 is "Profit" but just how does phase 2 go again?

win

[#292 :]

   

[#293 :]

Hermes: [thinking] Okay, Hermes, say something smooth. [loud] Nice boobs! [thinking] Noo---

A slight "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" reference there.  WATCH IT MORE IF YOU DO NOT CATCH IT!

[#294 :]

Leela- very funny hermes, but I'd never sign a form to go out with you.

[#295 :]

Hermes: Dese documents are very important, so we require ya to sign 'em in blood.

Leela: Um, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with mutilating myself in the name of bureaucracy.

Hermes: Den yer a lesser woman den I. But I figured dat'd be de case, so dat red pen beside ya is already pre-filled wit' blood.

Leela: Whose blood?

Hermes: Dat's not important. Now, de professor tells me you're Type A?...

Weird, weird stuff. It's too early in the morning for me to pretend to be clever.

[#296 :]

Hermes: now you need to sign this job give-up-form to get a rise...
Leela: umm... no... forget i asked for a rise...
Hermes: [thinking] should i or shouldn't forget about it [loud] ok

[#297 :]

Hermes: Pull me finger, woman!

Leela: [thinking] Oh lord...

[#298 :]

Leela: Hermes is that a pornography magazine on your shelf?
Hermes: (clears throat) ah, no. it's, er, Bender's.
Leela: But why would Bende...
Hermes: Sign de paper.

[#299 :]

Hermes:. "Now as you can see owning a timeshare is one of de smartest financial choices you can make."

Leela: "Ugggh!"

[#300 :]

Hermes: And by signing this form you agree, as ship's captain, to dance around the ship naked once before each flight.

Leela: At my last job I was required to dance naked on Thursdays and the equinoxes.

Hermes: Ah, previous expeirence, wonderful. Amy already has the equinoxes, how about the solstices?

Leela: Is the hangar heated?

Hermes: The employee lounge is also acceptable.

Leela: Well, OK then.

[#301 :]

Leela: "Your office smells like a college dormatory stairwell.  Was there something burning in here recently?"

Hermes: "... And by signing this paper, you hereby promise never to ask that question again."

[#302 :]

Leela: Hermes, I don't see why I need to sign a larger insurance waiver for flying the ship...

Hermes: Because you have doze, dat's why.

Leela: Grrr...

[#303 :]

Hermes: Tits or GTFO

[#304 :]

Leela: Hermes, why have you installed scales on your desk?

Hermes: Oh, that's so Planet Express can comply with the new Central Bureaucracy regulations about keeping details of employee's body mass details!"

Leela: ........

Hermes: And I wiped the scales off after Fry used them. So get that shirt off, woman, and whack those knockers on the scales!

[#305 :]

Leela: Hermes, why have you installed scales on your desk?

Hermes: Oh, that's so Planet Express can comply with the new Central Bureaucracy regulations about keeping details of employee's body mass details!"

Leela: ........

Hermes: And I wiped the scales off after Fry used them. So get that shirt off, woman, and whack those knockers on the scales!

THAT'S a winner- who agrees?

[#306 :]

It only matters if hobbitboy agrees.

[#307 :]

Leela: I'm leaving. This isn't an argument, it's just contradiction. An argument is an intellectual process designed to establish a proposition, contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.

Hermes: No, it isn't.

[#308 :]

Hermes: Okay, Leela, now I just want ya to write your name on da top of da paper, den sign it. But first I have something extremely important and vital to tell ya. [phone rings.] hold on.

[15 minutes later]

Leela: Okay. What is it?

Hermes: What? Oh the very important information, yes. Okay so it's...wait...it's on da tip of my tongue...hold on...damn why can't I remembah? The whole dang company depends on this bit of information...what de heck was I supposed to tell you? I've almost got it...uh...wait...let me start over. Sign dat paper...got dat...uh...sign de paper...Oh! No dat's not it...comon' you dang brain...oh just come back tomorrow.

I've got nothin'

[#309 :]

I'm sorry to disillusion (not to mention disappoint and disparage) willsterdude3000 but I'm awarding this one to…

*   NastyInThePasty   *

Rock on, dudes.


[Edit]
Oh, and an honory mention to Smarty for her brave effort which is not unlike one of my own from ages past and which still holds something of a special place in my heart.
[/Edit]

[#310 :]

Hey, awesome!

[#311 :]

Leela: alright kids... listen to a story....
Professor: ...about dooming the world!!!!!

[#312 :]

[Edit]
Oh, and an honory mention to Smarty for her brave effort which is not unlike one of my own from ages past and which still holds something of a special place in my heart.
[/Edit]

 


Leela: Okay, kids, you wanted to buy this piece of crap, so let's get to building. Let me just read the instructions.

How to build your own Bending Unit: Chapter One.

Congratulations on purchasing My First Bending Unit from Mom's Friendly Robot company. We're sure you'll be satisfied. Here is just a description of what is to come with My First Bending Unit: Right now your robot looks innocent, and possibly your child has already begun to attempt to build it. But there is more. By the time your robot turns 5 he will have become an alcoholic, chain smoker, heavy gambler, kleptomaniac, and narcissist. And if your robot claims to want to "kill all humans," don't worry, it's normal.

By the way, once the robot has been turned on there is no way to get rid of it.

Ugh, kids, let's put this thing back in the box before it's too--

Bender: I'm alive!

[#313 :]

Leela: Now don't worry, everyone. We'll have you back to normal before you know it!

Bender: Eww, What's that pink thing on the floor?

Zoidberg: Oh God! I melted!

[#314 :]

Hermes: "Does this bug you? I'm not touching you."

[#315 :]

Another happy afternoon at Planet Express Child Minding and Daycare, with Uncle Hubert and Leela the Cyclops Story-Teller.

[#316 :]

germanfryfan: No, no! The leg bone's connected to the knee bone.
Leela: Are you sure? I can't find anything in here about knees.
Slackit02: Tee he he… 'Bones' and  'Bender' make  'Boner'. Boner! <laughs uproariously>
Bender's head: What are you all talking about? I'm made of metal for goodness sake!
Farnsworth: Look, if you kids don't quiet'n down down there I'm going to turn this ship around, got it?
…
Slackit02: <under her breath> Boner. Ha ha ha he he…

[#317 :]

Leela (reading): So it's a protocol 'droid, by Ikea. Says here it's guaranteed to be polite, law-abiding, and obedient. Let's put it together!

[#318 :]

Zoidberg: Mwah!

Bender: Guys, the invertebrate is touching me again.

Amy: Now we told you what would happen, Zoidberg.

*THWACK!*

[#319 :]

Leela (reading): So it's a protocol 'droid, by Ikea. Says here it's guaranteed to be polite, law-abiding, and obedient. Let's put it together!

There's nothing wrong with ik.. (shelves collapse) that's the ikea shelves gone.
( chair collapses) ow! maybe going to ikea for furniture isn't a good idea.