Oh PEEL members, we beseech thee. What if...that thing I said!

[on:]

Alright everybody. It's the What-If Machine Round 2!

I guess I will start the new What-If question since the last few questions were about the new title.

What if Bender became an assassin?

[Reply #1 on:]

He would kill more humans.

What if Bender became a horse repairer?

[Reply #2 on:]

(How do you repair a horse?  )
Then I guess he'd be a little smarter than I am!   

What if Bender became an archaeologist?

[Reply #3 on:]

Then he wouldn't need to know the name "hot beans"

What do they call Archaeologists in the future?

[Reply #4 on:]

Archaeologizers.

What if Fry was a centaur?

[Reply #5 on:]

He'd get with Leela in Bender's Game

What if the Robot Devil were to take over the League of Robots?

[Reply #6 on:]

A: He'd change the motto to "Kill All* Humans Robots! (* except league-y weague-ies)" in an attempt to expand the population of Robot Hell.

Q: What if there was no League of Robots?

[Reply #7 on:]

Then Bender would have committed suicide. 

What if the Professor got contacts?

[Reply #8 on:]

He'd look more hip and cool and would fit in more at the Hip Joint

What if Nibbler only spoke a Haitian dialect of Spanish?

[Reply #9 on:]

Fry would have ever more trouble understanding how to save the universe.

What if Leela found another cyclops? (And not a fake one like Alkazar)

[Reply #10 on:]

Now she knows she's not a an alien I think she'd just take each case on its merits.

What if Leela had to fight off the amorous attentions of two cyclopes?

BTW cyclopes is the plural of cyclops, I checked

[Reply #11 on:]

She'd make them battle to the death and Fry would be jealous.

What if Steve Castle never had boneitis?

[Reply #12 on:]

He wouldn't have stayed in the 80's and eventually got arrested for illegal inside trading.

Why did the hyper-chicken cross the road?

[Reply #13 on:]

He wanted to become a better lawyer.

What if the hyper chicken didn't cross the road?

[Reply #14 on:]

Then he wouldn't be able to chase the ambulance.

What if the Hyper Chicken tried to cross the road, but got run over?

[Reply #15 on:]

Then the hyper chicken would be dead. But don't worry, it was on purpose.

Why did the hyper-chicken become a lawyer?

[Reply #16 on:]

Well I'm not sure, but that wasn't a What-If question.

What if the Hyper Chicken didn't become a lawyer?

[Reply #17 on:]

A lot more innocent people would be free and a lot more criminals would be in jail.

What if Fry tried to be a lawyer?

[Reply #18 on:]

Then he'd plead insanity constantly, just because it sounds cool.

What if Amy became a lawyer?

[Reply #19 on:]

All her clients would be convicted and she would just says, "Sploops!"

What if Leela became a doctor?

[Reply #20 on:]

She'd become an alcoholic and dismemble more limbs than most bad doctors.

What if the Professor was a doctor?

[Reply #21 on:]

we`d all be eaten

what if bender could fly

[Reply #22 on:]

He'd say, "Bite my shiny aerodynamic ass!"

What if Fry decided to stay with Umbriel?

[Reply #23 on:]

Then he'd go crazy when he realized he couldn't have sex with her...

What if Fry could have had sex with Umbriel?

[Reply #24 on:]

He would have stayed.

What if Hermes had fallen for Umbriel?

[Reply #25 on:]

Then he would help her re-file the entire city of Atlanta.

What if Leela had fallen for Alkazar and married him?

[Reply #26 on:]

Surely she would have figured out his ruse by now and be back at the PE ship helm.

What if Gumbercules and Brainzilla had a fight?

[Reply #27 on:]

I'd be sitting there watching and enjoying myself. 

What if Seymour was a T-Rex?

[Reply #28 on:]

They Fry would have gotten his hands eaten much earlier.

What if Lrrr was a dog?

[Reply #29 on:]

Lrrr would say "Pet me or be destroyed"

What if Hermes was an alcoholic?

[Reply #30 on:]

He wouldn't be a very good bureaucrat, now would he?

What if Kif was a parakeet?

[Reply #31 on:]

hed need a new girlfreind

what if amy were fat

[Reply #32 on:]

Then she would be lucky, because fat in Chinese Cantonese means luck.

What if Brannagan preferred guys?

[Reply #33 on:]

Poor Kif 

What if robots ran on tofu?

[Reply #34 on:]

Then the alcohol industry would tank in a hurry.

What would you call such a robot?

[Reply #35 on:]

An autofuton.

What if they were called something else?

[Reply #36 on:]

It doesn't matter, Zoidberg would be just as poor.

What if if?

[Reply #37 on:]

Then...that thing that I just said.

Who is next in line should Nixon be unable to perform his presidential duties?

[Reply #38 on:]

The headless body of Agnew.

What if Leela lost her wrist Thingamajigger?

[Reply #39 on:]

Her balance would be all out of whack like a tailless cat.

What if Hermes was from Turkey?