The What-If machine

[Reply #80 on:]

Wouldn't have mattered.  Leela would have ended up kicking Alkazar's ass six ways to Sunday, then divorcing him.

What if Bender hadn't "beaten" the Masked Unit in the movie theatre after all?

[Reply #81 on:]

Then he would have gotten bored and went to go commit suicide.

What if Tinny Tim turned evil?

[Reply #82 on:]

What does it matter?  He could be as evil as Hitler & it wouldn't mean anything; he's like 1 foot tall...

What if Seymour HAD been cloned?

[Reply #83 on:]

Presumably we'd see more of him.

What if Fry wasn't prepared to do anything for a dollar?

[Reply #84 on:]

He would have fewer dollars, and fewer injuries.

What if Bender wore his nose all the time?

[Reply #85 on:]

Then Bender could learn his cooking smells worse then the Ball of Garbage.

What if John Jackson or Jack Johnson had become president instead of Nixon?

[Reply #86 on:]

For one thing, we wouldn't have lost the Earth to the spammers/scammers in "Bender's Big Score"...

What if That 80's Guy hadn't died of boneitits?

[Reply #87 on:]

All the shareholders of PE would be RICH!
Except Zoidberg...he traded his shares for a sandwhich.

What if the Professor married Mom?

[Reply #88 on:]

He would be much richer, but he wouldn't be able to pursue his scientific dreams. She just doesn't understand him.

What if Master Spargle's Zombie took over on "Essence of Elzar"?

[Reply #89 on:]

For one thing, Elzar would no longer be on TV; it wouldn't be the same, without someone yelling "BAM!" every 3 minutes.

What if Bender had lost on "Iron Cook"?

[Reply #90 on:]

Bender would be crushed and we would see Bender filled with sorrowful emotions we have never seen him portray.

What if Robot Santa met an even EVILER Robot Santa from another galaxy?

[Reply #91 on:]

Can't happen; there's nothing more evil than Robot Santa.

What if Fry had married his Lucy Luibot?

[Reply #92 on:]

Leela and Bender would have destroyed it becuase Bender can't stand metal fever and Leela because she...<recieves giant boot in the face>

What if Amy had downloaded a celebrity?

[Reply #93 on:]

It would have been a Daniel Dae Kim-bot  that would have peppered her incessantly with crackpot Lost theories until she cracked and smashed it to pieces with a hammer.

What if Bender finally got his fill of porn?

[Reply #94 on:]

He would fall back to the precepts of Robotology.  And would hang out with Tom Cruisebot.

What if Zoidberg got a clue?

[Reply #95 on:]

He wouldn't be as funny

What if Leela had three eyes and Amy had one eye?

[Reply #96 on:]

Leela would look a bit like Nibbler and Amy would be "stupid as a French guy".

What if everyone on Earth was so nice that Santa had to give everyone presents?

[Reply #97 on:]

As if that would ever happen... Oh wait your serious.

Anyway, what if the Professor had made everybody else become bent at 90 degrees like he did?

[Reply #98 on:]

If they're bent backwards, no one would see anyone face to face.

What if Professor Farnsworth & his race of super mutants had beaten the Globetrotters?

[Reply #99 on:]

Then they would have been the "jive turkeys".

What if Leela hadn't instantly divorced Fry?

[Reply #100 on:]

They would have tried to make it a go for a few months until Fry's inability to snap out of his slovenly bachelor habits finally caused Leela to snap and move out.

What if the Nibblonians hadn't frozen fry back in 1999?

[Reply #101 on:]

Fry would have worked at Pannucci's for his entire life, dying penniless.

What if Hermes wasn't Jamaican?

[Reply #102 on:]

He would smoke less "stuff" and probably be grade 19.

What if Fry had let the Robot Devil marry Leela?

[Reply #103 on:]

Fry would regret it for the rest of his life and become a lonely and depressed (but successful) holophoner player.

What if Fry had stayed in Atlanta?

[Reply #104 on:]

Nibbler would take up diving, in order to keep track of the mighty one.

What if Jombey stopped doing whatever Hedonismbot told him to do?

[Reply #105 on:]

He'd find himself the same job for someone else; as their "pleasure servant".

What if robots Didn't blast out smog?

[Reply #106 on:]

Robot 1X would have no purpose...

What if Fry had kept the parasites inside of him?

[Reply #107 on:]

He would be a very happy guy. Married to Leela and touring the galaxy with his holophoner recitals.

What if Calculon did not have unholy acting talent?

[Reply #108 on:]

We would have one less actor who does just one take.

What if Bender became a better chef than Elzar?

[Reply #109 on:]

That could only be possible if Elzar became a robot.

What if Elzar became a robot?

[Reply #110 on:]

Bender could possibly be a better chef than Elzar.

What if That 80's Guy had sold PE to Mom?

[Reply #111 on:]

I would cry forever in pity of Zoidberg.

What if Planet Express was a huge money-grabbing corporation?

[Reply #112 on:]

If that were the case, then Mom would find a way to take it over.

What if Mom's 3 sons actually had spines?

[Reply #113 on:]

Mom would just smack them harder to reduce their spines again.

What if Bender had married Calculon?

[Reply #114 on:]

Calculon would have gone insane with humiliation, when he found out it truly was Bender & not Coilette.

What if the Planet Express ship hadn't been able to stop talking like Signourney Weaver?

[Reply #115 on:]

Bender would have destroyed the autopilot.

What if the autopilot talked like Pierce Brosnan?

[Reply #116 on:]

Leela would have tried to date it.

What if Zoidberg became interested in a human female?

[Reply #117 on:]

Then we'd be treated to a parody of The Creature From The Black Lagoon.

What if Leela cut her ponytail?

[Reply #118 on:]

Then she'd look as bad as Gloria Allred, and no man would want to look at her, let alone date her.

What if Fry picked up a hobby that he became good at?

[Reply #119 on:]

Well apparantly Fry is good at video games, except for the fact that he cant beat space invaders (Maybe he should try halo 3, its supposed to be good  )

What if Fry's head lived in a jar?