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: Come on, Bender, jack a grab.  (Read 21758 times)
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LayZ341

Professor
*
« #480 : 03-17-2008 17:50 »
« : 03-17-2008 17:50 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by DrThunder88:

Bender: Now what happens when I pull it?
Sine Wave

Liquid Emperor
**
« #481 : 03-17-2008 18:17 »

Hermes: ...and finally making the rendezvous at Thermodyne IV, if you're still alive. Any questions before you get underway?

Fry: Uh, shouldn't we do something about the burning bat in the middle of the table?

Bender: Oh, that's just an adiabat. It can't transfer any heat, don't worry about it.
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« #482 : 03-17-2008 18:58 »

Hermes: "Now, da exhaust port is only two meters wide." 

Fry: (Pointing at hologram) "That's impossible. Even for a computer"

Bender: "No it's not. I used to shoot donkeys with my M16 back in Tijuana and they're not much bigger than two meters."
futz
Liquid Emperor
**
« #483 : 03-17-2008 21:51 »

Fry: In... in there. You're a braver man than I Bender.

Bender: I can do it. Just give me a minute to collect my thoughts. If I don't come back - well, you know what to do ol' buddie.

Fry: Yeah. Hermes are you sure? Isn't there another way?

Hermes: No mon, we have to tell Leela that she has to cut her lunch hour short to make a delivery.

Fry: Look! She's starting on the whole chicken. Go for it!
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« #484 : 03-17-2008 22:20 »

Sine Wave, on behalf of physics geeks everywhere I am proud to present you with this award for best thermodynamics joke of all time.
Xanfor

DOOP Secretary
*
« #485 : 03-18-2008 16:49 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Sine Wave:
Hermes: ...and finally making the rendezvous at Thermodyne IV, if you're still alive. Any questions before you get underway?

Fry: Uh, shouldn't we do something about the burning bat in the middle of the table?

Bender: Oh, that's just an adiabat. It can't transfer any heat, don't worry about it.

Frisco, give the guy some points!
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« #486 : 03-18-2008 19:14 »
« : 03-18-2008 19:14 »

Sorry can't believe I missed that. You're right though definitly point worthy.

6.67x10^11  points for Sine Wave.

(I know it should be -11 but that isn't nearly enough points)
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« #487 : 03-19-2008 07:13 »

I concur.  Sine Wave wins for unlawful Carnot knowledge.
Sine Wave

Liquid Emperor
**
« #488 : 03-19-2008 10:56 »
« : 03-19-2008 10:56 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Frisco17:
6.67x10^11  points for Sine Wave.

(I know it should be -11 but that isn't nearly enough points)

Now I just need to find someone to be the m1 to my m2 and let the force between us draw us together...

soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« #489 : 03-19-2008 12:12 »
« : 03-19-2008 12:12 »

 
Quote
Now I just need to find someone to be the m1 to my m2 and let the force between us draw us together...
  Don't worry, I'm sure your field strength is high enough to scoop up an errant body that happens to pass by.

Leela: "Wait, wait... Yep, the homeless guy's dead.  I told you to put airholes in the box this time."

Farnsworth: "They wouldn't keep dying if the police stopped collapsing their wave functions by letting them out!"
futz
Liquid Emperor
**
« #490 : 03-19-2008 12:39 »

Prof: Dangling a bacon double cheeseburger over an open pit is no way to get a man, Leela.

Fry: Worked for my Mom.

Bender: She already snagged 2 - no make that 3.

Leela: Shhhh, new target at 2 o'clock, he's got the scent, he's moving in...
KurtPikachu2001

Urban Legend
***
« #491 : 03-19-2008 13:58 »

Bender:  What do you see over there, Leela?  Flooziebots?  Spying on your loverboy, Zapp?

Leela:  Shut up, Bender!

Fry:  She's probably looking for Lars!

Prof. Farnsworth:  No, she isn't!  She's not looking for flooziebots, Zapp, or Lars!  What are you looking for, Leela?

Leela:  I told you I'm looking for Zoidberg!  I told you that 5 mintues ago!  He's late for work!  Now, where does he live?

Bender:  Good luck trying to find him on the streets!  (sotto voice)  He doesn't even live on the streets! 
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« #492 : 03-19-2008 19:40 »
« : 03-19-2008 19:40 »

Leela: "What are you guys doing?"

Bender: "The professor had us set a trap for him. See when you step on a certain section of sidewalk it catapults you into and open manhole 6 blocks away."

Fry: "One way ticket to the sewers at Mach 3. Hehehe."

Leela: "That is so incredibly childish. I mean, somebody could get hurt!"

Professor: "I don't care. I'm tired of Amy insulting my fashion sense. White lab coats are always in style!"

Leela: "Amy huh?" (Pulls out snapped binoclars)
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« #493 : 03-21-2008 03:29 »

Professor: Fuff!  I remember when we had to walk all the way to the local playground to see a public execution.
LayZ341

Professor
*
« #494 : 03-21-2008 05:24 »

Professor: *sigh* Stupid alien wolves.  They can blow all day but this is a brick house.
bobbot

Bending Unit
***
« #495 : 03-21-2008 06:40 »

So there's STILL a scary naked guy in that building?
Sine Wave

Liquid Emperor
**
« #496 : 03-23-2008 08:58 »

soylentOrange wins for unashamedly playing to the judge.
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« #497 : 03-23-2008 16:38 »

bobbot

Bending Unit
***
« #498 : 03-24-2008 06:15 »

Man!  I've got to lay off the 'shrooms
LayZ341

Professor
*
« #499 : 03-24-2008 06:33 »
« : 03-24-2008 06:33 »

Professor: So thats why you should "think outside the box".
futz
Liquid Emperor
**
« #500 : 03-24-2008 07:54 »

Leela A: I guess we won't be going back to the Spring Break Universe for a while.

Fry 1: Darn! We had the hotel fooled until the Amys hit the minibar.
La Belle Leela

Starship Captain
****
« #501 : 03-24-2008 09:56 »

Professor: "Huh boy, that's the last time I make the mistake of taking everyone to an orgy in the Roman Empire universe!"
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« #502 : 03-24-2008 11:17 »

Professor: I don't understand.  "Ceiling Twister" is always a big hit at Spiderian trans-dimensional mixers.
Sine Wave

Liquid Emperor
**
« #503 : 03-24-2008 11:21 »

Next, on When Uncertainty Principles Go Wrong...
KurtPikachu2001

Urban Legend
***
« #504 : 03-24-2008 12:39 »

Prof. Farnsworth:  Oh, dear.  *sigh*  I never should have let them all ride the bumper rockets!

Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« #505 : 03-24-2008 19:17 »
« : 03-24-2008 19:17 »

Professor A: "Okay, so we'll need a bigger box to make the set out of. Not to worry though. There's no way I'm going to let Wernstrom win the Trans-dimensional Puppet Show Competition again this year."

Fry 1: "Wouldn't it make more sense to use actual puppets?"

Professor A: "Quiet you!"

JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« #506 : 03-25-2008 10:41 »
« : 03-25-2008 10:41 »

Farns A:  Oh wait... it says here that the Personal Bungee Funtime System™  must be used from heights exceeding 3 hundred feet.
x.Bianca.x

Urban Legend
***
« #507 : 03-26-2008 01:03 »

Prof A: What a birthday..is it my birthday?
Xanfor

DOOP Secretary
*
« #508 : 03-26-2008 10:42 »
« : 03-26-2008 10:42 »

I had to read JBERGES' line three times to make sure there wasn't a pun I missed. Good thing there wasn't; I'd've rolled a hole in the floor laughing.
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« #509 : 03-26-2008 11:28 »

what?  no jokes on quantum entanglement?  <Fry>I'm shocked.  Shocked!  Well... not that shocked.</Fry>

Tough choice this time, but I'm going to have to go with JBERGES for his spot-on Farnsworthism.

dr.bender nye

Liquid Emperor
**
« #510 : 03-26-2008 14:34 »
« : 03-26-2008 14:34 »

Zoidberg 1: If you thought the landing was bad, you should try Mexican Aeroplanes when you just finished eating.

Oh, wait, I'm too late. DAMN IT!
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« #511 : 03-26-2008 14:45 »

Xanfor:  Not everything can be a pun, I'll try harder next time.  :(

futz
Liquid Emperor
**
« #512 : 03-26-2008 15:34 »

Fry: Get out! In the Lincoln Bedroom!?! So Monica was just the tip of the
iceberg?

Clinton's Head: Welllll...

Leela: Fry! You're in a public place!

Ford's Head: Eeeewww! Show some respect for the office son.

Hillary's Head (OC): He's no Obama.
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« #513 : 03-26-2008 20:08 »

Fry: "Wow, President Clinton! It's an honor to meet you sir."

Leela: "What are you talking about Fry? This idiot was the only president in history to actually shut the government down for weeks because he couldn't pass a budget!"

Clinton: "Ya see beautiful that isn't exactly true. The entire thing was a scam so I clear out all of congress and get busy on the Senate floor." (Looks Leela over) "In fact, I just might have to pull that one again."

Leela: "Ugh. I didn't think it was possible but this guy's managed to out-Zapp, Zapp.
Bender´sRevenge

Bending Unit
***
« #514 : 03-27-2008 16:28 »
« : 03-27-2008 16:28 »

Fry: So you're saying that women are attracted to power and influence?

Clinton: Like a fat kid to a barbecue.

Fry: Maybe I could use that to get Leela's attention by running for mayor!

Leela: Do you mind?  I'm standing right here.  And that's a completely ridiculous and sexist assertion.

Clinton: Did I ever tell you about the time I used my power and influence to bring peace to the Middle East?

Leela:  (swooning) Not since last Tuesday, but I don't mind if you...  Hey!  Stop trying to charm me.

Clinton: (winking at Fry) Let me know if you want any help with your campaign.
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« #515 : 03-27-2008 23:49 »

At this point, ribald jokes appear to be de rigeur.

Fry:  No way!  It's own glass case in the Smithsonian?  How did they get it in there?
Clinton: One, cut a hole in the box...
LayZ341

Professor
*
« #516 : 03-27-2008 23:56 »

Fry: What can I do for you Mr. President?
Clinton: Ask that disappointed looking lady over there if she would to like to "not" have sexual relations with me.
Fry: Yes, Sir!
x.Bianca.x

Urban Legend
***
« #517 : 03-28-2008 00:25 »
« : 03-28-2008 00:25 »

Fry: Hey, I know you! You were that guy I saw on tv that I always changed the channel on!
Xanfor

DOOP Secretary
*
« #518 : 03-28-2008 06:58 »

Leela: Forget it, Fry, he's lying.
Fry: Really? How can you tell?
Leela: His lips are moving.
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« #519 : 03-28-2008 18:53 »
« : 03-28-2008 18:53 »

DrT gets negative 1 million points for getting that song stuck in my head... arrgggg.


I'll give it to Xanfor.

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