1000 Things to Learn

[Reply #400 on:]

159: Bender has a "flawless" spanish accent.

158: The truth about anyone's identity can be found on their ass.

[Reply #401 on:]

157: The mystery of the robot "soul", otherwise known as a wiring diagram, can be found on their body cavity panel.

[Reply #402 on:]

156: Austria and Hungary are now populated entirely by robots.

[Reply #403 on:]

155: In the past, Zoidberg liked Harry Truman...A LOT.

[Reply #404 on:]

154: Certain Trees produce the Delta Brainwave

[Reply #405 on:]

153: Giant mutant space bees produce honey...AND jelly.

[Reply #406 on:]

152: Nothing humans make tastes any good.

151: Mom made beta players at one point.

[Reply #407 on:]

150: Septuple head spins can only be achieved via a septuple leafed clover.

[Reply #408 on:]

149: Kareem Abdul Jabbar had the sky hook; Phillip J. Fry had the Space Hook.

[Reply #409 on:]

148: Yancy was a "biter".

147: HOWARD STERN IS OVERRATED!

[Reply #410 on:]

146: If you want to win over the woman of your dreams, eat a truckstop egg salad sandwich infected with parasites.

[Reply #411 on:]

145: Never light a cigar when you're drinking ethonol.

[Reply #412 on:]

144: Put 83 cents in a bank account, go to sleep for a thousand years, and you'll be a Billionaire.

[Reply #413 on:]

143: Mule farmers don't make much money

142: Lyndon Larouche won't stop with the knock knock jokes

[Reply #414 on:]

141: Don't forget, celebrating Freedom Day is nothing without the ceremonial Hot Tub.

[Reply #415 on:]

140: Bender hates auto-destruct.

139: Nibbler can fire a heat-ray from his third eye.

[Reply #416 on:]

138: Global Warming did exist; it was cancelled out by Nuclear Winter.

[Reply #417 on:]

137: Second hand smoke was a myth

[Reply #418 on:]

136: Don't allow Bender anywhere near an electrical source, or he'll jack on.

[Reply #419 on:]

135: You don't wanna know whos behind toothpaste comes from

[Reply #420 on:]

134: According to Zapp Brannigan, if you're not excited by "death by Snu Snu", then you must be gay.

[Reply #421 on:]

133: It's okay to blaspheme in Robot Hell.

[Reply #422 on:]

132: At some point, the future will be threatened by a race of super intelligent space brains.

[Reply #423 on:]

131: Fry was not already pope of something once.

[Reply #424 on:]

130: If the globetrotters challenge, nothing is at stake

[Reply #425 on:]

129: If you don't accept the Globetrotters challenge, they'll have a press conference where they'll call you a "jive sucker".

[Reply #426 on:]

128: In the thirty-first century even executives can be fired for incompetence.

[Reply #427 on:]

127: The only way to be able to play holophoner is to get intestinal parasites or trade hands with the robot devil.

[Reply #428 on:]

126: Dating your co-worker and transport vessel is against Planet Express regulations.

[Reply #429 on:]

125: Be careful in the future, tlephone booths look just like suicide booths.

[Reply #430 on:]

124: Suicide Booths were started in 2008 (so that's something to look forward to)

[Reply #431 on:]

123: Suicide booths give you 2 options: quick & painless, or slow & horrible.

[Reply #432 on:]

 

Originally posted by Decapodian:
126: Dating your co-worker and transport vessel is against Planet Express regulations.

126 Amended:  Dating your co-worker and primary mode of transportation is immoral, illogical and a violation of interstellar shipping statute 437-B. .

[Reply #433 on:]

122: If you accept the precepts of Robotology, you WILL go to hell if you screw up.

[Reply #434 on:]

Frisco, you anorak wearing pendant!

121: Bees explode when they hit things.

[Reply #435 on:]

120: If you're stuck through the chest with a bee stinger, you can survive, as long as you don't get any bee poison in you.

[Reply #436 on:]

119: a robot can grow up to rob a conveinence store or be a conveinence store

118: sick vending machine robots are a good source of food

[Reply #437 on:]

117: For robots, puberty has to be installed.

[Reply #438 on:]

116: Werecars don't sound like a golden marmoset.

[Reply #439 on:]

115: You don't actually need three-fifths of your rectum.