Abcd: Edfghij jklm! Cryptograms v2

[#120 :]

Ah, the pity. Fated to drift forever through the void as gravity's plaything. Oh, cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones. It bones for thee. The only thing that keeps me sane is the thought that I have all eternity in which to perfect my art.

^long one         ^

       

NVX VMQ, N JNV QGM VTTXL VM AVDCMXIZDAMV -- ECR, HTD IW DGTCT!

*TOTPD*


Here's the link to Gopher's Handy Tool. *happy???*

[#121 :]

And now, a man who needs no introduction -- Fry, get up there!

 

WB'J JSGRYPTE, W GZAYY. WK BSY QENYK NGUJ, W OAQTNEU PQTZSB GEQKZJWNY PYRGEY BAQQOJ, JSQTENYA BQ, TS, JSQTENYA. GEGJ, GPBYA G JYAWYJ QP NYGNEU LETKNYAJ DGTJYN LU NWJBAGDBWKZ EQF-DTB PGBWZTYJ GKN EQBJ QP SGAREYJJ OWKDSWKZ, BSY GARU NYDWNYN FQRYK FYAYK'B PWB PQA JYAMWDY. KQB FSYK W'R WK DSGAZY.

[#122 :]

IT'S SHAMEFUL, I AGREE. IN THE OLDEN DAYS, I PROUDLY FOUGHT ALONGSIDE FEMALE TROOPS, SHOULDER TO, UH, SHOULDER. ALAS, AFTER A SERIES OF DEADLY BLUNDERS CAUSED BY DISTRACTING LOW-CUT FATIGUES AND LOTS OF HARMLESS PINCHING, THE ARMY DECIDED WOMEN WEREN'T FIT FOR SERVICE. NOT WHEN I'M IN CHARGE.

 

Cryptogram - ding - :
VQDI Q WAGNOC. D'L SAIIDOS QO DCAQ. O-ON, MQUWA QUQBL. ON. XAQK. ON. XAQK. ON. VQDI. ON. XAQK. XAQK. ON ... ON. XAW!

[#123 :]

Wait a second. I'm getting an idea. N-no, false alarm. No. Yeah. No. Yeah. No. Wait. No. Yeah. Yeah. No ... No. Yes!

 

YJ QYNLA QYY! DJPNP JP EYPK VEVBC. RPQQ, QPD'K EBIP SVSA RJVD JP RVCDK.

[#124 :]

OH LORDY LOU! THERE HE GOES AGAIN. WELL, LET'S GIVE BABY WHAT HE WANTS.

 

QO, HQI! MQP RUGG AZUMMNHUM!

FQT JMQV RUGG AZUMMNHUM?

BYP'C STCP CUF VY'XY "LZQCCYI GUPOC".

VUC POUP AYEQZY QZ UEPYZ FQT CBYGP VNPO ONW?

Here's the link to Gopher's Handy Tool for encrypting your Cryptograms.

[#125 :]

Oh, God! Not Zapp Brannigan! You know Zapp Brannigan? Let's just say we've "crossed paths". Was that before or after you slept with him?

   

here you go...
ZLYY, ZLYY, ZLYY. RV RK RFP'K YLL YLABP: KQL VYUARPM FKUN BV HNUPPRMUP'F NBWMQ NUPMLNF. FUE, WQ, YLABP, XB EBW YRDL KB NLUX? R TWFK MBK U MNLUK HBBD BP KUIL. RK'F UHBWK YRVL RP UPJRLPK MNLLJL UPX--

[#126 :]

Well, well, well. If it isn't Lee Lemon: the flaming star of branngan's rough rangers. Say, uh, lemon, do you like to read? I just got a great book on tape. It's about life in ancient Greece and--

following up with another ending in "--".

 

DUOH XOL EZI HKYY IG OQZIH HUK LFLHKLSFOLG?

DKYY, GFN, F GBKLH OYY ZW LFLHU VNOSK GHISEFLV HUKP, KAXKBH WZN HUOH SOE DUKL PE KEKQOYYG GHONHKS HZ QYKKS. OLS FL PE ZBFLFZL--

Oh, and pazuzuJr, shame on you for not posting a link to my handy tool in your TOTP. Shame! Shaaaaaame!

[#127 :]

Don't worry Gopher some of us know how this thread work and already posted the link. *cough* me *cough*  Geez, Pazuzu, making me pick up the slack for you.   

WHAT CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT THE NINTENDIANS?

WELL, SIR, I SPENT ALL OF FIFTH GRADE STUDYING THEM, EXCEPT FOR THAT DAY WHEN MY EYEBALLS STARTED TO BLEED. AND IN MY OPINION--

 

LHV, HLIR KHS'BR ENSJRP CER CNLARW TNDC CER TWHCRDCHWD--

TWHCRDCHWD?

IHWWRIC. DZF-CEHSDNLP ESJJD.

[#128 :]

Tim: And it's appreciated, but it ought to be in the TOTP for convenience. Pazuzu, Shame!! 

Now, once you've hauled the tanker past the
protestors--

Protestors?

Correct. six-thousand hulls.

 

P CWT'Z UQMT ZW WIIQTC, GRZ ZKPA ZMAZQA HPFQ DWUPZ.

ZKMTF EWR.

TW, MXZRMHHE, P CPC UQMT ZW WIIQTC M HPZZHQ. ZKPA PA MVIRH.

[#129 :]

<Ahnold>I'm back!</Ahnold>

I don't mean to offend, but this tastes like vomit. 
Thank you.
No  actually, I did mean to offend a little. This is awful. 

 

JV, SLWC, OPHYPI'U XE IDDXXLCP. VP NDJGY OP OLNB LHE UPNDHY.

HDC GWBPGE. W DIYPIPY VWX CD AGJUV DJC CVP QIDAPUUDI'U PLI SLZ.

And, yeah, eternal shame on everyone who doesn't put the link to Gopher's Handy Tool into the first post of each page! Buuuuuurn!

[#130 :]

Hey!!! - i didn't know - i only started posting here on the last page  ! - i've done it now   

[#131 :]

Well, Pazuzu, I guess we can cut you a little bit of slack.  But don't you dare let it happen again...Or else...
 

UH, WAIT, BENDER'S MY ROOMMATE. HE COULD BE BACK ANY SECOND.
 
NOT LIKELY. I ORDERED HIM TO FLUSH OUT THE PROFESSOR'S EAR WAX.

 

GXTT, GUKN OD BDL JLIIXJN? K OKSCAI OKBTCIUN SDHHXSB DM MDSN YADE DA XTXQUKAN-HKFY? NUKN'J NUX OLZHXJN NUCAI C XWXS UXKSO!

Enjoy!

[#132 :]

That one used every letter except j, q, and z.

Well, what do you suggest? A daring daylight robbery of fort knox on elephant-
back? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!

 

O VQU IV EIA ULTT HQ VIYNQX WDYIAZD O VLKQ PQCD CNYQQK VIY EIAY RTOKQW. WDQE ULTT HQ WDQ TANGLQCW IV OTT.

[#133 :]

A FEW OF YOU WILL BE FORCED THROUGH A FINE MESH SCREEN FOR YOUR PLANET. THEY WILL BE THE LUCKIEST OF ALL.

 

Here you go:
BW, LHKZZG? XWB RBTTK IKMH AI? BTH-HGH? ZBEIPHL QBBDW? NLATFHT RKLEKRH DKT?

[#134 :]

Oh, really? Who gonna save us? One-eye? Lobster Mooch? Drunken Garbage Can?

 

U ERNTF HWUY QFRVQLXA XUHHXA LQK HR MAQV RCAV DG WAQF. QTF UH MQY RT YQXA!

[#135 :]

I FOUND THIS ADORABLE LITTLE BAG TO WEAR OVER MY HEAD. AND IT WAS ON SALE!

 

AZ ULMIK NMJ AZ ALQ'J! CJ'E F EXFUZEWCX, KFGQCJ, QLJ F XDLG ICGLMECQZ! CH FQOLQZ QZZKE GZ C'II NZ CQ JWZ FQVDO KLGZ.

My work here is done.  Now back to some 'Gears' goodness!

[#136 :]

We could but we won't! It's a spaceship, damnit, not a prom limousine! If anyone needs me I'll be in the ANGRY DOME.

 

NVZ, FN F TVRI TOQT NVRW OCLQBEAFRM, WQUO EBVO WZ HRTZ NVOOXOE FM Q TFDMFNFOT IREFAFRM. MRMO RN ALQA "LBTTJOT RPOV NRV SQVWAL" YVQI.

[#137 :]

FRY, IF I DROP DEAD FROM EXHAUSTION, MAKE SURE MY BODY FREEZES IN A DIGNIFIED POSITION. NONE OF THAT 'HUDDLED OVER FOR WARMTH' CRAP.

 

there you go -
CQV. AEX CEG PBA IQBD IEREOIEAED KTDNGEVE OITRTO MDC ORBC ATAQ IGAZDQZ PRBVVTP NIQHQV TA CEGD EXA IEHQ EA NITV NXE-DQPEDZ VQN. NIBN'V EKQD NITDNC HTAGNQV EM HGVTP MED EARC $14.99.

[#138 :]

the "14.99" was a bit of a give-away... 

Yes. Now you can have holophonor virtuoso Philip Fry play nine hundred classic themes in your own home on this two-record set. That's over thirty minutes of music for only 14.99

HXAYA! HXVL'FF HAENX HXPLA QVFHXM ZELHEYCL KXP'L FPUEZFA. RPK EFF V XEUA HP CP VL LGAFF NXANS VH ERC VH'L YAECM QPY OM ECOVYVRD GWZFVN.

[#139 :]

THERE! THIS'LL TEACH THOSE FILTHY BASTARDS WHO'S LOVABLE. NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO IS SPELL CHECK IT AND IT'S READY FOR MY ADMIRING PUBLIC.

 

ZKBU HLCSJ! ZD'H HLKYSCP' HECPSCFZS HLDDGKH!

SZDU GKP'S BDRMD IQWZ SK SZD CIRFCPRSCKP.

RWSQRBBU, KP R YKAKS, SZDU HKYSR GK.

[#140 :]

Holy Spitz! He's sportin' skintight speedos!

They don't leave much to the imagination.

Actually, on a robot, they sorta do.

 

VC, PL AVX! LVB'OR YUVWYRX SVD VS ICR EMQ!

JSI! FMYR EULVUR VU REQIC WEQRK.

[#141 :]

Oh, my god! you've knocked FOX off the air!   
Pft! Like anyone on earth cares.

 

OKZ VNHL NFVKYEOIUIY GNH FODY YODE ZDFOYFNHQ?
ZIWW DF'Y N YENGIYODE, YK D'Q YNL NHLZOIUI JIFZIIH CIUK NHQ KHI.

[#142 :]

How many atmospheres can this ship withstand?

Well it's a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

 

WRRU XV OK! C'O WKKWX!

TNE-NE! 'SXNYK C'O QRNLWK WKKWX!

VEXV'Y CV, XWLKZV, TR ORZK KYDZKYYR PRZ JRN.

[#143 :]

Look at me! I'm Leela!
Nuh-uh! 'Cause I'm double Leela!
That's it, Albert, no more espresso for you.

W CNI'H QINY WJ HZAG YAPA EWFZHG RUWAI NKAPUNPCX NP XWESUG LICAPSRWC RUWAI TRIWHNPX YZN JNLFZH BPWEA NI HZA XWCA--

[#144 :]

[spoilers]I don't know if they were mighty alien overloards or simply underpaid alien janitors who fight crome on the side -[/spoiler]

 

ODZVCY DQZ LCQMOCXCQ, XH BVOOTAM ICDMJSCY OAMJY QAMCY DQZ D XDKRVQC LJQ. VM VY MRC IVQCYM DGDVODTOC.

[#145 :]

Ladies and Gentlemen, my Killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available.

 

LFKZLIP NLS BSHNR LFKZLIP. KS'P FLSDRN.
FB, KS KPF'S. GN SLDWHS L IKBF SB NLS SBTD

[#146 :]

Animals eat other animals. It's nature.

 No, it isn't. We taught a lion to eat tofu.

I love the Free Waterfall family.

   

P'E F OTYTDFK NW YCDTT XNLTK ZFDB. KFET F MNXU JFDY FKX F JSFKTY FKX P'OT YFATK F MVSSTY PK PY, NK PY. FSS YN ATTJ NVD WSFR WSUPKR WDTT.

[preply] Yeah, sometimes I deliberately wait for it to drift a bit before bumping it by answering the last one myself, to give others a chance to jump in.[/preply]

[#147 :]

I'm a veteran of three dozen wars. Name a body part and a planet and I've taken a bullet in it, on it. All to keep our flag flying free.

   

ICGC'Q TP NCGQVFKL AVVB VM NSEBJN LSFCQ. QKP KQ TKFP VM DICT KQ PVJ EKF KQ MKQD KQ PVJ EKF. YVF'D QDVN MVG KFP GCKQVF.

This should prevent this thread from getting knocked to page two for at least four more noob threads, but we need to increase our numbers to sustain the constant stream of spam and irrelevance. ;-)

edit: added the smiley

[#148 :]

Here's my personal book of pickup lines. Say as many of them as you can as fast as you can. Don't stop for any reason.

 

JUN MDGI! JUN'OW DQ CUG TQYWCWG!

ENK KIWOW MTG KIDG YTQY UA KWQ-JWTO-UCXG MDKI YNQG.

WLTFKCJ, JUN'OW DQ C.T.

[#149 :]

Hurray, this thread is back!  I need to start hanging around here more often.

YOU WISH! YOU'RE IN LOS ANGELES!

BUT THERE WAS THIS GANG OF TEN-YEAR-OLDS WITH GUNS.

EXACTLY, YOU'RE IN L.A.

 

KAA PDL QKW MKRY PJ XTEOPLXKE WKERW UGW, QDJ MAKCPLZ RJXXTLC TE PDL KXLGTRKE GLIJAOPTJE.

[#150 :]

Man, this one was pretty hard, but I finally got it:

All the way back to minuteman Yancy Fry, who blasted commies in the American revolution.

Gah! Geocities is down...

 

MRZOY WBF ZJJ EBV TBDSOX. S LBO'M VQTBXOSNQ ZOW BE
WBF, OBV TZO S VQTZJJ ARW S ZD RQVQ.

[#151 :]

Thank you all for coming.  I don't recognize any of you, nor can I recall why I am here.

 

IZHH GC EAHH TE SZO-DZFB-THJC QIT QFOSZJ ZLFNSHD SIZ CFWZ SIGOP. SBTAKHZ GC, DTA IFUZ QIFS WD THJ WACGN SZFNIZB, WBC. WZHHZOPZB, NFHHC "CSAMGJ EGOPZBC".

[#152 :]

@Laptop: Sorry about that. I didn't even think about it when I posted that line, I was just looking for something funny.  Honestly, looking back at that quote I'm really impressed that you got it without any hints.  There really isn't much to go off of in that line.

HELL IS FULL OF TEN-YEAR-OLDS WHO WANTED EXACTLY THE SAME THING. TROUBLE IS, YOU HAVE WHAT MY OLD MUSIC TEACHER, MRS. MELLENGER, CALLS "STUPID FINGERS".

 

YRSS, MSFXKCG. ZBI WIFR X VFBDMDSZ YBJ'G NJBY CXE?

URQXJXGRSZ VFBDMDSZ JBG.

[#153 :]

Well, Tim, your previous one involved a lot of guessing (at least for me):

Fist thing, I figured that kaa would most probably be "all". Then I assumed pdl would be "the", which lead to the conclusion that qdj could be "who". In consequence, qkw must be "way", which revealed the "y" which then made "yancy" pretty obvious. But it took me more than one attempt to figure that sequence out. It was still fun, though.  ;-)

Well, alright. You sure I probably won't know him?
Definitely probably not.

   

EXEPK QVDE JHDEQSVZC CHHW SMFFEZJ QH DE KHO JMK VQ'J JHDE NVZW HI DMWZEJJ, HP V'D WPOZN, HP V MQE QHH DOUS UMZWK.

[#154 :]

Every time something good happens to me you say it's some kind of madness, or I'm drunk, or I ate too much candy.

 

ME LQ HGB'F ZG DKPN FCQUQ KBH WKNQ FCKF QSQBF CKVVQB, FCQ QBFMUQ YBMSQUJQ LMTT DQ HQJFUGXQH. KBH KJ KB QBSMUGBWQBFKTMJF, M'W KZKMBJF FCKF.

[#155 :]

If we don't go back there and make that event happen, the entire universe will be destroyed. And as an environmentalist, I'm against that.

I just hope my cryptogram doesn't make the thread die again, like my last ones did ;-)

 

TPIUC RPV? NXPN FXUWBV-IPTUWBV XUTYRPV SCPHHBR RUQW UKC NXCUPNL IV APN-SPN KWYUW DPWDLNBCL?

NXPN'L NXB UWB.

XUN RPHW, P RPV UAA!

By the way, it's good to see new people around here in this thread.

[#156 :]

were do u guys get those spoilers ahead highlight to read

[#157 :]

[s poiler] [/ spoiler]


You do that except without all the spaces.

[#158 :]

puppys

[#159 :]

...No not that.

You put the words in between the spoiler things. Not after them.