It took an hour to write, I thought it would take an hour to read. Framegrab Thread

[#480 :]

Leela: Dammit! Where is the scope? I can't see through it!
She feels something cold go down her shorts. She wheels around to see Free Waterfall Jr.
FW Jr.: You looked cold, little lady. I decided to put some -ah- permafrost down them shorts of yours.
Leela (taking aim): Hunting season for humans has begun.

[#481 :]

 

Originally posted by soylentOrange:

Professor: [offscreen] Hurry, Leela! Shoot Santa with the EMP ray, and save Xmas!

Leela: But every time we try to save Xmas something always goes horribly wrong! Can't I at least wait until Santa has visited Zapp's house?

[#482 :]

Leela: Ok. The owner's manual says to close one eye and look through the scope.  Hey! Where'd my gun go???

[#483 :]

Leela: (thinking) Alright. Just kill thrm. The moms, dads, babies...oh...they're so fluffy...No no. I have to do this. Remember the Furbie you burned. It was fluffy and cute too. Just, aim and...FIRE!" *sobs*

(Running into line of sight)
Zapp: Well, hello, Leela. I see you have dressed appropriately to feel my ice cold hands against your...Uh oh."
                    BOOM!

  Muahahaha!

[#484 :]

Leela: Nothing like grabbing the old rifle and plinking some worthless tin cans...Hey, Bender, hold still a minute!

Crash used my original joke.

[#485 :]

looks like no one else is going to respond...

and the winner?  Crash_7!

[#486 :]

Ya snooze, ya lose, DrT.   

[#487 :]

robot: "Umm sir?  Your manual fuel pump seems to be malfunctioning..."

[#488 :]

Robot: How sad. Another example of poor programming. It looks like you're arm and fuel pump are stuck in an infinite loop. If this continues, you'll overload and shut down.

Fry: Yeah, thats what I was hoping for.

[#489 :]

'Sir, are you aware that you're incredibly stupid?'
'No I'm don't!'

[#490 :]

Bot: Hello there thailer. Did your thip just arrive in port?

Fry: Hmm? Yaaah! I mean no thanks, er no, no I'm in the Air Force, don't fly that way - you know. Bye!

[#491 :]

Bot: Sir, that's a fascinating plug attachment you have there.  I'd love to see its intended socket.

Fry: So would I!  I tried once, but she woke up too fast.

Leela (in distance): What?!

Fry: ...n-nothing!

[#492 :]

Robot: Sir, when the ATM says "Insert PIN" it means your PIN number not your USB drive.

Fry: Oh, right.

[#493 :]

robot:sir your antenna appears to be magnetically attached to the space between your legs may I cut it off using this extra sharp axe?
fry:no I can do it myself

[#494 :]

Robot: Sir you seem to have two very oversized electrons orbiting your antena, if you would be so kind as to let me neutralise them with this electrical shock.

Fry: Ohhh no thanks, I remember the last time someone did that, she said it would be fun, but the hospital didn't think so

[#495 :]

Robot: Sir, if you feel that your lubricant is surplus to requirements, then may I have it?

Fry: Uhhh, sure, I guess...

Robot: Excellent! Please direct your overflow pipe towards the correct receptacle on my crotch-plate!

[#496 :]

Robot: Even if I were a U.S. Mailbox, I really don't think you should be relieving yourself in, on, and around me like that.

Everyone was making penis-type jokes.  I just wanted to be popular.

[#497 :]

Hmm... I can't think of anything, however, in my (professional) opinion, LayZ or Shiny wins.

(However Shiny, I'd like to know where the idea for Fry doing that came from... :expectant: )

(Taps foot impatiently)

[#498 :]

Fry may peep and tell, but I don't! 

.

.

.

.

.

Actually, it just seemed like a Fry sort of thing to say. 

I can see him attempting a bit of peepage if he happened across the opportunity...  We know he was delighted when the wall of the strip club collapsed, and there was the issue of the girl who lived next door to him and never closed her blinds (her father drove a Pacer, I hear... ). 

Also I wanted to show that although I'm a big mushy shipper who thinks Fry is unbelievably adorable, sweet, and good-hearted, I'm not blind to his libidinous, occasionally verging-on-pervy streak.

And also it made me laugh. 

[#499 :]

So many good replies!  Shiny wins.

[#500 :]

xD I think that was to be expected. She made me snort and now I have milk everywhere ><

[#501 :]

yah. That was hilarious with a capital 'N'!
way to go!

[#502 :]

Woo-hooo!  The filthy, filthy caption wins out again...   

Thanks, everyone.   

Now, a new grab.  Let's see...how about...



Have at it, my dear fellow PEELers...

[#503 :]

Fry:C'mon Proffessor mellow out, an elvis-pose always cheers me up.

Proffesor:Shut the fuck up!Who's Elvis?

Fry:I dunno, he was on TV once, I think he used to sell bread.

[#504 :]

Farnsworth: Figures. You make it idiot-proof, somebody makes a better idiot.
Fry: Aww, come on, professor, I'm telling you, I want you to teach me how to be a scientist!
Farnsworth: Fry, science is what happens when preconception meets verification. And you have neither.
Fry: But I know math! See, just stay there and I'll tell you about General Calculus. He was a brave leader, who knew how to integrate his troops together and differentiate between his enemies and his allies!

[#505 :]

Nice, dawoodz! Take that, Elvis!
Now here's mine:

Try as he might, Fry could still not understand the complexity of the phrase; 'Read between the lines, jackass.'
No amount of searching would ever help.

[#506 :]

Narrator: Much to Fry's dissapointment, the Professor wasn't interested in his "One Man Interpretation of the Matrix".

[#507 :]

Professor: Fry, nobody's watching. Shut up and let me sleep.

Fry: But this is the really good bit, where I kicked Godzilla's ass with hiw own tail!

[#508 :]

Fry: There is some wierd fungus on my fingers. And I only just pretended to shower yesterday!

Farnsworth: That would be Acronite Fungus, the deadliest fungus in the universe. I believe that is a by-product of my latest experiments on you. You will die very shortly. *sigh* Now I'm sad.

Fry: Because I'm going to die?

Farnsworth: No, because i wasted valuable supplies on you AND i won't have a willing guinea pig anymore...

[#509 :]

Fry: Did you ever just stare at your hand? It's tooooootally awesome!!!!

Farnsworth: I can't believe that bastard smoked my entire stash!

[#510 :]

Fry [air guitar]: "... To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side.  Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again, dragged by the force of some sleeping tide..."

Farnsworth [sigh]: "I knew I should have gotten him debarked when I had the chance."

[#511 :]

Professor: There was a time I used hair styling products too, but those days are gone. Sigh. Gone like the buffet at Denny's, the cow, cable news networks, and when mad scientists got free admisson to gentlemen's clubs. Oh my.

[#512 :]

Fry: Sorry the Viagra didn't work on your last date with Mom.

Farnsworth: Yes well, wait till I finish making quadruple strength Viagra suppository.

Xanfor's calculous joke has won in my book.

[#513 :]

Fry: And i'm gonna sweep her up in my arms like so, and stare intensely into her eye like so, work a little love mojo and she'll be all over me. Just watch.

Farns: *thinking* And after she kills him she's going to want to dispose of the body in my matter degenerator and it'll take weeks to recallibrate it. What will i do with the burned rhesus monkey corpses in the meantime?

[#514 :]

No vision pleases quite
Like Fry's performance art; 
The woes of science might
Bring laughter to my heart. 

Drug humor is a treat,
And tricky to surpass; 
And just as hard to beat
Is the clever use of "ass." 

Shippiness is ace;
In humor it's sublime. 
(And mojo in the face
Is funny every time.  )

All here have wit to spare,
And choosing brings dismay;
But at last I must declare:
The math puns win the day! 

~~~~~

Take it away, Xanfor!

[#515 :]

I didn't get to put in  here's what I would have said anyway:

Years later and Fry is still working out what the professor meant by saying he was a 'handful'.

... Yeah I'm done.
Go Xanfor!

[#516 :]

Venus: posted 09-06-2006 13:33

Shiny: posted 09-07-2006 20:15

Sorry you missed it, but I think I left a large enough gap...(gotta move quick here, or that "24 Hour Rule" kicks in... )

*****
[Time passes]
*****

And speaking of the 24 hour rule....   

Ah, nuts.  Probably Xanfor is having technical difficulties again.    

[Shiny thinks]

However, I see a way out of this...Xanfor said he was going to pass his next turn to Tastes Like Fry, right?  How about TLF takes his rain check, and then when Xanf comes back he'll know that his next win is his own, free and clear. 

Also, the thread doesn't stall, nor does the turn go to whoever just happens to be online right now.

Everybody wins!   

All right!  I declare this to be the solution!

Tastes Like Fry, you are up.   

[#517 :]

    whoops, sorry....(man I'm a spaz today)  Please ignore double post boo-boo and just read the bit I added above.  Thank you.

[#518 :]

Well if you insist 

[#519 :]

Fry didn't really care much for the professor's new flavor of neutrino. However, he knew that it had been traveling at least eighty percent the speed of light when it hit him, so no one really cared, because therefore he couldn't prove that it had hit him in the first place. This was worse than that time Farnsworth had put that cat in that box... Fry could have sworn that it looked half-dead. At least that had led to Bender's discovery the Heineken Uncertainty Principle...