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Procyon

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« #218 : 04-09-2005 22:00 »
« : 04-09-2005 22:00 »
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What is it that makes a man go neutral? Lust for cabbage? Flying toasters? Or were you born with a pancreas full of neutrality? He is the man with no ass… Zapp Brannigan! Otherwise known as the Big Banana, Zapp Brannigan is the most decorated Endocrinologist of News Corporation. Using tactics such as sending wave after wave of his own shotguns until the enemy is defeated, Zapp has claimed victor over the Kill Bots, the pacifists of the Cromulent Nebula, and of course the Publicly Hairy Balls of Bomber’s Burrito Bar. But beneath the façade, Zapp Brannigan is nothing but a pimp only worthy of being a FOX executive. Suffering from a very smegma-nous case of The Clap has caused Zapp to remain a virgin until he met Leela, who was on a mission to save the armada of Vergon 6, while upholding Bartholomeu Dias Law. However, he did have the fabled snu-snu (something hormonal teenage zombie Oscar winners dream of having one day) with the large women of the Planet Amazonia while sentenced to death by repeated farting. He is still alive today, annihilating homosexual songs and nearly fathering hologram’s and Robin Williams’ children. You have to admit some of those came out perfect. The smegging one I had to fudge since it wasn't real word, so I found the word closest in the dictionary (smegma), which just makes it even more hilarious. If you don't know what it means, please look it up!
Anyways, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
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Leela In Chains

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« #219 : 04-09-2005 23:20 »
« : 04-09-2005 23:20 »
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Kudos, Procyon! Great job! Pubicly Hairy Balls of Bomber's Burrito Bar...excuse me while I change my shorts.  I'm sure death by repeated farting would not be a pleasant way to go. I really have to get another good lib written, so I can recover from my Zoidberg one.  edit: Anybody live in/been to Albany, NY? Bomber's is a real place, on Lark St. in Albany. They have the best burritos ever conceived!
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Procyon

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« #220 : 04-10-2005 08:57 »
« : 04-10-2005 08:57 »
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Thanks! And good luck with your new lib. I actually erased my Zapp one 3 times before I got it right. Thanks i_c_weiner for that line (Publicly Hairy) I'd never thought of that, and it's one of my favorite lines. Thanks LIC for giving like 1/4th of the content, and reviewing. Where'd everybody go?  Sorry I was so lazy guys in posting, I hope the Zapper makes up for it!
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