I Can't Believe it's Another Quote Game!!! 2nd try!!!

[#480 :]

Good news everyone! It's the first ever interactive quote game entry:

Co-worker: Why are there vast quantites of office supplies in this desk?
Me: I have no choice but to say...
The Voice of PEEL: If you want Wernstrum to come up with a lengthy sequence of hilarious remarks featuring a full length song and cumulating in a no holds barred monkey knife-fight, press 1. If you want a completely lame response that doesn't even make sense, press 2.
*I selects option*
The Voice of PEEL: You have pressed 2.
I: No I didn't!
The Voice of PEEL: I'm almost sure you did.
Me: ...Your mother.

Morgan in HHRhGB, Calculon, Cinema Voice and Fry in Raging Bender and Cartridge Robot in Obsoletely Fabulous. The last one wasn't even modified or anything.

[#481 :]

Winner by default, Wernstrum´s up...

[#482 :]

Yeah! Take that all you pathetic losers such as... erm...

After being bitten by a radioactive human, you develop super powers. What do you say/do/crush?

[#483 :]

Me, just having discovered my super power, which is to make mittens float in the air: "Hey! These aren´t super powers!"
Unfocused bystander: "Houhouwaah?"
Me: "They´re supposed to be, you know, cool."
Bystander: "Cool powers has been extinct for 800 years, I. Gone the way of the classics, and your primitive notions of Copyright."
Bystander reaches out and touches the mittens: "Aah, original."

Fry / Farnsworth, Xmas story. Edited.


------------------
I take pride in my arrogance.

[#484 :]

what is a quate game?

[#485 :]

I wondered that too... Then I read the first post on page one of this thread.

What you do is, you read the situation presented to you, in this case:

 

After being bitten by a radioactive human, you develop super powers. What do you say/do/crush?

Then you think up a suitable quote from Futurama and post it here. One quote/series of quotes per person, some editing allowed. For example, Changing "My God, a million years" from SP3000 to "Nirvana, a million dollars" is allowed. Changing it to "Holy smokes, dude, my car just combusted" is not. Also remember to state where you took the quote(s) from.

[#486 :]

Me: (Seeing a crime in progress) Oh dear, I really ought to do something. But I am already in my pajamas...

-Professor from "TSHL"

[#487 :]

Hooray, multiple entries! I was half-expecting to find that only I and I were still playing. Well, I wins anyway.

[#488 :]

Woo! I beat infinitely more people than Wernstrum did! In percent...

Congratulations, you are the first astronaut ever to go to Mars. Unfortunally, your cool shiny rocket breaks down, and you are stranded all alone and can’t contact earth. You slowly rebuild society for yourself and in 30 years you are able to contact earth. What do you say when some poor technician on NASA picks up the phone?

Yes, you manage to go from wheel to inter planet communication. And no, no one else gets sent after you. There is plenty of oxygen on Mars.

[#489 :]

Me: As President, I believe I speak for the entire planet when I issue this message to Earth. (Moons the video phone) Look at my butt!  Wooo!

-Fry from "Future Stocks" (edited)

[#490 :]

Good one. You´re up.

[#491 :]

Eh, I hate these one-turn wins.  That being said, I totally would've kicked everyone else's butt anyway!

You've just purchased a new DVD of your favorite movie of all time, but when you go to play it, it turns out it's porno (or not porno if your favorite movie of all time is porno).

[#492 :]

Me(looking at porno): AAAAGH!! Grandma Mildred?!

-Fry from Roswell That Ends Well

[#493 :]

Me: (shouting at TV) My God, cover yourself! I didn't live 20 years and travel a few miles to the store and back to look at another man's gizmo!

Nixon - War is the H-word (edted)

[#494 :]

Obviously it is first played on an occasion with most of my friends gathered. And parents in the house.

And so, when I press Play, I find myself stunned to see the movie turning out to be porno. Gay porno, in fact. I slowly turn around to find my equally stunned friends staring at me.
Me:"Now I'm sure there must be..."
Loud noises drown my voice.
Me, raising my voice:"I said I'm sure..."
Silence in the kitchen.
Me:"...there must be..."
Sees door opening on the left.
Me:"...a perfectly..."
Hears someone on the stairs to the right.
Me:"...reasonable..."
One of my friends leaps forward and presses mute.
Me: "...explanation."
Silence.

Bender in AFFoD.

[#495 :]

Whenever my boss phone's up and asks me to come into work at 6pm...

Me: Well I'm already in my pyjamas...

Prof. Farnsworth, few occassions, season one.

[#496 :]

Umm... You might want to catch up on the rules of this thread, Silicon. You are supposed to respond to the situation you have been given.

Just read this page, and you should be allright.

[#497 :]

Shame on Dr Thunder.

I win.

It is your Nemisis´ wedding. Sitting on the front row, you have just recieved indisputable evidence from your private detective of some of your foe´s deepest, darkest secrets. How do you ruin this happy occasion?

[#498 :]

Me:*starts humming county song* Do do do duh do duh do duh doo!!! By the way, I had no idea you were secretly gay and you're only marrying this person for the money...  Uhhh I didn't just yell that...

[#499 :]

Me:  Stands up, turns around, drops pants. "Look at my butt!  Wooo!"

[#500 :]

  That one's really good Thorias! LMAO

[#501 :]

Enemy: Your blackmailing me!

Me: I prefer Extortion the X makes it sound cool.

Enemy: Oh, what will my soon to be wife say?

Me: If I where you, I'd be more worried about that tape worm going to town on your intestines!

Leela and bender from "AOI1" and the second part is Leela's ex-boss and Bender in "HHRHGB". Edited of course.

[#502 :]

Minister: If anyone here objects to this union, let them speak now or forever hold their...

Me:(stands up) BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Bride: Is he objecting or backing up?

Groom: Looks like both.

TV, Fry, Amy - I Roommate (UNedited)

[#503 :]

I choose you, DogDoo8...

For second place! JBERGES up.

[#504 :]

"I" your humble leader accept this onner.

Continueing from last situation:
After ruining your Nemisis wedding, you go to a "Strip Club" or "Suacy Puppet Show" where you spend the money you Extorted from your enemy. During a "Lap Dance" or "Puppet Dance" you suggest to the Dancer.......

What do suggest to the Dancer?

[#505 :]

Me: Hey, sexy momma ... wanna crash all weddings?

Bender, "I, Roommate", edited.

[#506 :]

Hey, don't criticize me just because my sister's limey boyfriend is staying in the same room as my computer, making it very hard for me to post regulalrly.

Me: Roberta, is that you?
Stripper: Thunder! Hey, man!
Me: Ha-ha! You old lunatic, how you been?
Stripper: Ah, not bad. Not bad. Everybody in their chairs! This is a lapdance!
Me: Yeah, I'm doing okay, too. I'm taking a Chinese cooking class at the Learning Annex.

-Bender and Roberto from IitM (edited)

[#507 :]

Dr T you can take this one.

[#508 :]

Aww, thanks dogdoo.

After leaving the erotic pleasure purveyance, you notice your nemesis has done something unpleasant to your car.

[#509 :]

This one goes to...Me!

The new situation is the old one.

[#510 :]

Upon returning to my car, I find my nemesis has died of sonic diarrhea AND compound (open, very bloody) boneitis on top of my car. 
Me: I'm shocked ... SHOCKED!  Well, not that shocked ...

Hermes from "SP3K" and That Guy from "Futurestock", both heavily edited.
Fry, from ... I forget which episode.

[#511 :]

Wow, this is popular.

Nemesis: And the winner of the big car-smashing contest is... Hot-Rod Nemesis!
Me: That's my car!
Nemesis: Nothing's your car, not if I can smash it up with a mallet - that's what being a nemesis is all about.
Me: No, that's what being a jerk is all about!
*Proceed to fight*

Zoidberg in PYHomS, Professor and Cubert in AComO.

[#512 :]

After sifting through the nearly overwhelming numbers of responses, Werstrum wins over a twelve way tie for second.

[#513 :]

After your fight with the nemesis, you are both arrested and thrown into a holding cell. In what manner does hilarity ensue?

[#514 :]

Nemesis: They sent us to jail for being a public nuiscance.  And smshing car windows.
Me: You smashed most of them.
Nemesis: Well, mine were louder.
(Mrs. Nemesis comes in to bail him out)
Me: I hate that this came between us, Nemesis.
Nemesis: Me too.  I'm filled with a large number of powerful emotions.
Me: You're my worst enemy. I'm sorry I treated you so badly.
Nemesis: Apology accepted.  After all, you're only a dispatcher.
(Guard opens the cell and Nemesis goes to leave)
Me: That's it. I've had it with vengence. From now on, I'm concentrating on my love life. Can I have my girlfriend back?
Nemesis: Why, I've forgotten why I even fought you.
Guard: 'Cause he wrecked up your wedding, punched you, and exposed your secret.
Nemesis: Oh, that's right. Get lost!
(He slams the door on me)
-Zoidberg and Fry from BBoIC (edited)
-Cubert from BSNBAoT (edited)
-The Human and Calculon from "I, Roomate" (edited)
-Fry, Professor, and Bender from "The Cryonic Woman" (edited)

Edited for UBB-badness.

[#515 :]

Chief of police: Throw these two in a jail cell and let that be the end of it.
Deputy: Sir, the cells have been full ever since you declared it illegal to be poor!
Chief of police: Fine, then trow them in the laundry room. Witch will now be known as "the brig"!
Deputy: *sigh*
........ later in the cell
Me: *trying to squeeze through bars* I could fit if I didn't have these damn arms!
Nemesis: *shaking head*  Jail madness!
Me: I do not have jail madness.
Nemesis: People call it the behind the bar crazies, the black/white stripe dementia....
Me: When ever something bad happens to me you say its some kind of madness, or I ate to much candy. *gives nemesis evil glare, and storms of to bed*
Jail mate: He may have prison madness but thats no reason for prison rudeness!

Judge Whitie and guard from "Insane in the mainframe".
Zapp and Kiff from "Brannagin Begin again".
Fry from "Fry and the slurm factory"
Fry, leela and farnsworth from "The deep south".

What a list.

All Edited of course.

[#516 :]

Another mammoth response, they were both good ones though. DrThunder wins, despite the fact that your male nemesis seemed to turn into an ex-girlfriend about two thirds of the way through.

[#517 :]

Maybe my nemesis just has a soft side or is a lesbian.  You never know considering how many people hate me.

After leaving the police department, you fall into a quantum singularity that transports you back in time 500 years.

[#518 :]

[I leave the police department]
Strangely Unexplained Announcer: Cop Department will return after these messages... Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
Me: Shut up and get to the point!
Increasingly Strangely Unexplained Announcer: Then come relive the carefree days of yore at Quantum Singularity-O-Rama.
Me: Look, no offence, but I need technology. Especially E-mail and snowmobiles. And television! Without television, how will I know what buzz words are in?
[I get transported back in time anyway]
Me: Oh snap!

-TV announcers (modified at the end), Bender, The Lesser of Two Evils
-Bender, Obsoletely Fabulous
-Fry, The Why of Fry

[#519 :]

Horse walks by with "Happy New Year, 1506" painted on it

Me: Wait a minute! Is that equine accurate?

Peasant: Yep. It's December 31st 1505.

Me: My God, negative 500 thousand years!

Peasant: Well, at least here you'll be treated with respect. Now strip naked and get on the catapult!

Leela, Fry - SP3K  (edit)