I Can't Believe it's Another Quote Game!!! 2nd try!!!

[Reply #200 on:]

Salesman: DVDs. So fresh you can still see the shrinkwrapping.

[I look at the DVDs.]

Me: Nope, uh-uh, eww! [I pull out a photo of me and Slurms McKenzie holding a DVD and point at my DVD in the photo.] Now look, this is the DVD we want. Did you sell it to somebody?

Salesman: I'm sorry sir but due to the perverted nature of our business, customer records are strictly confidential. [My friend punches him.] Right this way.

[Cut to: Back Back Room. The salesman pulls another curtain across. In the room is a TV and a wall lined with video tapes.]

Salesman: I video tape everyone who comes in here so I can blackmail them later. [The crew gag.] Hey, I'm a porno dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Here's the weirdo who bought your DVD.


-Fry and Salesman, Spanish Fry


woo!

TOTP Stealing GFF's GIFs:

[Reply #201 on:]

 

Originally posted by DogDoo8:
 I'll be in the Angry Dome.

I use this on a regular basis when dealing with my neices.

BTW this thread is top-drawer funny.

[Reply #202 on:]

Sung
--------
Me:  I want my box set!

Some guy: Never! A sale's a sale, even with a crooked buyer.

Me:  Very well, then I'll make this a bit more dire!
Your girlfriend has promised me her hand.

The girlfriend:  Some guy, you do not understand.
I should have revealed I'd been blinded by Thunder,
The shame,
The shaaame,
But I feared you'd stop stealing me DVD wonders,
Paying for discs make me want to chunder,
He gave me some webcam-ish eyes,
They're grainy and just a bit scary,
In return without shedding a tear I agreed that I'd give him my hand...

Me:  ...In marry...age.
You'd give me your hand in marriage.

Chump in line #1:  Is this all been scripted or is just on the fly?

Chump in line #2:  It can't be real...

Chump in line #3:  Not in the middle of Best Buy.

The girlfriend:  That isn't what I meant,
That isn't what I signed.

Me:  You should have checked the wording in the fine... Print!

The girlfriend:  I'll give you my hand...

Me and The girlfriend:  ...In marriage.

Some chump in the reference book aisle:  The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention,
Now that is "irony!"

Me:  I will marry her now and confine her to hell,
How droll,
How droll!
She'll be freezing forever
In a Mich'gan city,
And not in a mythical obscurity,
Unless I get my DVDs!

Some guy:  Destiny has cheated me by forcing me to make preferred,
The woman that I idolise,
Or the DVDs of a giant nerd,
Without these discs I can't pretend that I was ever entertaining her,
But if I keep them,
And she marries him,
Then he probably won't want me nailing her.

Chump in line #2:  I can't believe that Thunder is so self-behooving.

Chump in line #4:  I can't believe that this checkout line's not moving!

Preacher:  By the power vested in me,
By the state of Michigan...

Some guy:  No!  Stop! Take your discs!
You flabby, geeky man!

Me: (Maniacal laughter then I chop off Some guy's hands for no reason.)

[Reply #203 on:]

@DrT:  Very nice indeed.  However; been there, done that 
______________________

(I start a spontaneous protest)

Crowd: (chanting): What do you want?

Me: Futurama!

Crowd: (chanting) When do you want it?

Me: Futurama!

Crowd: Yay!
______________________
-  Fry, crowd in "Jurassic Bark"

[Reply #204 on:]

I nearly forgat about this thread.
Its all yours Zeep.

[Reply #205 on:]

Woo! It's been a while since I won a round of this game.

Ok,

You've just returned home from a vacation, and you find that your cat/dog/other pet(s) has/have died. When you ask your neighbor, who was supposed to take care of your pet(s), what happened, you find out that he/she died while you were gone. When you look around, you realize that everyone you every knew or loved has died, and you're the only person left in the universe. You say...

[Reply #206 on:]

Me: Cursed by my own hubris.

Bender reworded

[Reply #207 on:]

This is cliche in soooo many ways:
Me: Finally!  Solitude!  I can read all my pet raising books for eternity!  (I realize my cats are dead) It's not fair!  It's not fair!  Wait, I still have my dogs!  (dead dog falls out of the attic, scary movie style, and I scream) It's not fai-! Wait, I can read about my chinchillas! (I see the rotting corpses of my chinchillas, and scream.  My tongue falls out.  My head falls off.)  Hey, look at that weird rat cage!

TSD sequence from "A Head in the Polls", edited.
edit: Dr.T., since when is there a reference book aisle in Best Buy?

[Reply #208 on:]

There are books at Best Buy.  I'm left to assume they have some reference books.

Me: Is anyone here not a corpse?
Corpse: I'm not a corpse.

-Fry and a lamp paraphrased from "Mother's Day"

[Reply #209 on:]

(I go insane, and start running through the streets pointing to random corpses)

He's dead, Jim...
He's dead, Jim...
He's dead, Jim...
He's dead, Jim...

People - Where No Fan Has Gone Before.

[Reply #210 on:]

pretty short, but here you are:

Me (thinking of my pet): My god! She's gone! Everone I even knew or cared about is gone!

Fry in Space Pilot 3000

[Reply #211 on:]

hm... time is up, but there's only been 5 entries. oh well.

i'm going to have to go with... DrT.

[Reply #212 on:]

It's Christmas Eve and you forgot to get a present for someone you really wanted to give a present to.

[Reply #213 on:]

Friend: Hey, chief, you screwed up.  This is empty!
Me: Oh, the package may be empty, but the message is clear: I forgot to get you a gift, and I'll get you one next year! *proceeds to shove friend out window for no good reason*

Bender and Santa, AToTS, edited

[Reply #214 on:]

Me: I speak with love for my friend. Perhaps that love in my heart is the meaning of the Christmas gift!

Friend: Oh, how convenient! A theory about Christmas that doesn't require buying me stuff!  Get back to the store!


-Monks; Godfellas

[Reply #215 on:]

Me: Hey, Friend. I guess I got this for you.
Friend: It's too beautiful to open! Can I open it? (opens it) Bubkes!
Me: It's empty because I haven't paid for it, you dumb stinkbug!
Friend: (weeps) You forgot about me all these shopping days.

-Fry, The Why of Fry
-Leela and Zoidberg, The Sting
-Zoidberg and Hermes, modified, Insane in the Mainframe

[Reply #216 on:]

JBERGES, I'm giving you the next turn, but only because I forgot to get you a present.

[Reply #217 on:]

Sounds fair to me:

It's New Year's Eve, and you've vowed to do/say something memorable at midnight.  The time is nigh:

[Reply #218 on:]

Me: Alright, it's New Years Eve, I've got no date, a 2 litre bottle of shasta, and my all New Years mix tape. Let's rock.

Fry from AOI2

[Reply #219 on:]

Me: (sheds of clothes). Ahh, brisk.

Farnsworth from "X mass story".

[Reply #220 on:]

You know DogDoo8, I was going to do that exact same thing as you wrote! WIERD!!!

[Reply #221 on:]

lol. I'll tell what even wierder. I was going to do the same thing as you wrote aswell. Now thats spooky.

[Reply #222 on:]

*I walk over to Dick Clark and take the microphone from him*.

Me: I came here with a dream, a dream of killing all humans.

Friend out in the crowd: Spacedal, you been having too much beer or too little. I forget how it works with you. But whatever it is, you haven't had the right amount.

Me: No you shut up!

Bender-AOI 1, BGM

Fry- TH

[Reply #223 on:]

I'll give this one to JDB.

[Reply #224 on:]

Cool!!

Okay,  You walk into the newest shop in the city. 2 minutes later when you're browsing some objects in the DVD section all the alarms go off and big, tough robot-bodyguards surround you!
What do you do/say?

[Reply #225 on:]

Friend1: Those words are forbiden in this store!

Me: What words? StarTrek!

Friend2: Shut your gills!

Leela, Fry and Zoidberg in "Where No Fan Has Gone Before".

[Reply #226 on:]

Man on PA: Security to DVD area!  Security to DVD area! *guards pop up*
Me: Fellas, please!  I'm in love! *points to picture of some hot actress on DVD cover ... probably Milla Jovovich or someone*
Man on PA: Rough him up!
*Milla or whoever walks in*
Milla: What are you doing?
PA guy: This penniless chump was stealing DVDs, ma'am!
Milla: Oh, I see ... *she kicks me*
Me: A fine kick, ma'am.

iZack, Bender, and the Countess from "A Flight to Remember", edited
Bender and Tinny Tim, from "Bender Gets Made" (I think), slightly altered.

[Reply #227 on:]

Guard: He's making a break for it.  Get him!
Me: No, I was just picking my nose.
Guard: He's picking his nose.  Get him!

-Smitty and Fry from "Bender Gets Made"

[Reply #228 on:]

Zoidberg227 wins! 

[Reply #229 on:]

You are having a nice, low key New Year's party with a few friends, when suddenly, you hear a thump on the roof.  Shortly thereafter, short fuscia aliens bore their way into your living room, through the ceiling.  How do you react to this sudden change of events?

Edit: In your face, everyone who didn't win!  Especially you, Dr. T!  And you too, JDB!

[Reply #230 on:]

Hmm...
"Outsiders! Defend the fire!"
 - Hermes, Professie from "Mother's Day"

...hmm... or:

Me: Aliens... ceiling... here... party... now?
Alien: It's that kind of talk you would expect from the recipient of "Dumbest Speciman on Earth!" [I am given ribbon, party members and aliens laugh at me] And the winner for "Smartest Speciman"... THE HYPNO-TOAD. [Hypno-Toad appears from nowhere]
 - Leela, Award Presenter, "TDTESS" (edited for cohenrancy]

[Reply #231 on:]

Me: Friend! You gotta save me!

Friend: Oh alright.

Friend pulls me away from the party and the alarms go off.

Friend: Cheese it!

Zoidberg-edited- & Bender-WAA

[Reply #232 on:]

Friend: Sweet lion of zion! They're on the roof!!
Me: Oh my God!!! Aliens... possibly from space!!
Friend: What do you want?
Aliens: Quarters!


Hermes fron 'Xmas Story
Leela from 'AOI2'
The washing discussion from 'AOI2'

[Reply #233 on:]

Umm, err, take it away Shadowstar!

[Reply #234 on:]

Ooohhh... I win, I win!
It's the first day of the new year. (Yes, yes, I know it's hard to imagine, but try anyway). You open the front door, inhale the fresh air, ready to take on anything the new year can throw at you. Then, a dead fish wrapped in a note reading, "I KILL YOU SCUM" is thrown on your doorstep by some mysterious black van. What do you do about this?

[Reply #235 on:]

"This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!"

-Bender, War is the H-Word

[Reply #236 on:]

Me: What's this, two meals in one week?!

Zoidberg from 'AOI1'

[Reply #237 on:]

Me: Words! Nothing but sweet, sweet words that turn into bitter orange wax in my ears.

Friend in van: Spacedal, it doesn't mean anything. I have hate enough for two.

Fish: Could you give me some help? I think *Friend* crushed my foot.

Me: Stop rubbing it in!

Fry, Leela, & Bender-The Honking

[Reply #238 on:]

Me: Mysterious stranger, I am shocked.  Newspapers go on the porch; threats and fish go in the trash!

-Bender paraphrased from "AOI1"

[Reply #239 on:]

Me: *turns to friend* Hey, I know that monkey, his names Donkey.

Friend: Monkeys arnt donkeys, stop messing with my head.

Fry and the professor in AOI 2.