Genuine tension from start to cut-off. It's hard to maintain something like that. I tip my hat to you, sir.

Interesting alternative premises too...

and a mild skirmish involving several thousand Scotsmen on a planet of Blancmanges

Any tennis matches involved?

Great story so far Xanny! I love it. I a gree with coldy about it being a little "Mirror, Mirror"-esqe, I was laughing so hard at "Pong Farr"    and I love the sci-fi references. Can't wait for more.

Nice.
I can see I'm not going to get some of the sci-fi references, but I liked the 'Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe' one and the use of 'Level forty-two' (neat to use a band name in a different context, instead of having Leela say it). Anyway, this certainly kept my attention. Looking forward to reading some more of your work, besides the RD crossover that I've already read.

 

Originally posted by km73:
Nice.
I can see I'm not going to get some of the sci-fi references, but I liked the 'Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe' one and the use of 'Level forty-two' (neat to use a band name in a different context, instead of having Leela say it). Anyway, this certainly kept my attention. Looking forward to reading some more of your work, besides the RD crossover that I've already read.

Didn't the band name itself as an H2G2 reference?

It's great to see you back, and with a fanfic and a spiffy new avatar no doubt. 

X-Files, episode one, season one.

Very nice, Xanfor. I can't wait to see the rest of all your things updated (and new things, too!).

Hey! I'm still racking my brains over that. I've never watched an episode of the X-Files in my life! NARFFFFDF! Insanity! *Gonna eat a pillow out of spite!*.

Illustration you say Xanfor? Tell me where the fuck those lines came from and I'll succumb!

Crazy foaming dog!

Le gasp. That is where I read it. Total boredom on IMDB and Wikipedia can do that to me, I'll just look up the most random things and then forget about them.

Ok it's a deal. Email me your ideas for illustrations.

 

Originally posted by Spacedal11:Total boredom on IMDB and Wikipedia can do that to me, I'll just look up the most random things and then forget about them.

I do that all the time looking stuff up on Wiki or just random place on the Internet.

Xanny get part 2 up soon! Like NOW!!

   (Life is but a Dream)
   (written by Xanfor)

part 2 of 3

-----------------------------------------------------------


   Eureka! thought the Professor upon awakening. This was immediately followed by a puzzled frown. What had he just discovered? Something involving his new machine, he thought. And tachyons... Yes, tachyons were in it too...

   His new machine! He had to go check on it! All other thoughts were driven out of his mind as he leapt from his chair, past a sleeping Leela and out into the corridor, just barely avoiding a slightly dazed Fry.

   Fry had a good reason to be dazed. This time he remembered his dream. And he was quite sure that's what it was, too, because he had dreamed that he and Leela had met as secret doomsday agents. The thought that he was back to nonsense in his head instead of cyphers was a comforting one, and thus he was rather exuberant in his manner of entrance into the bridge despite the fact that he was still slightly sleepy.

   “Hello, Leela!”

   “Fry...?” Leela opened her eye slowly and held her hand to her head. “Ow...”

   “What's wrong?” asked Fry worriedly, “Did you have one of those karma dreams?”

   “No...” replied Leela, closing her eye for a second. She yawned. “I... I dreamed I... That I was talking to the Professor's head...”

   “Oh. Depending on what you talked about and or what you mean, that could be worse.”

   “And then... Oh... It seemed so real...”

   “So? All dreams seem real until you wake up. Remember Newhart?”

   “And then... I can't quite recall... But there was this feeling, like I was... Like we were going to die...”

   “Are you sure that's not just a normal side effect of not knowing where Bender is?”

   “Perhaps... But I'm still worried.”

   Leela sat up slowly and returned to piloting the ship.

   Fry didn't say anything, but he now was worried again.

~*~*~*~


   Bender, as a matter of fact, was not up to anything. Actually, he was doing his job, which was standing pointlessly beside the package. Sure, he was actually sitting on it, but this was defined as the same thing by Planet Express policy. And Planet Express honoured it's policy, despite the fact the Zoidberg ate it thinking it was a lawrencekrauss sandwich.

   Bender was not particularly sleepy. But that wasn't to say he wasn't disturbed.

   He had these strange sequences of code streaming through his processor. He had tried deciphering them, but currently to no avail. He would sooner crash than let it be known, but he was worried.

   A random sequence was suddenly decoded. Why did a malfunction have to happen now? it said. Humans... Pathetic, pathetic!

   Bender stopped in surprise. He analysed the sequence again. No, it was just random numbers, gibberish.

   Then where did those words come from?, he thought.

   I am not tired. Robots do not get tired...

   Not that he had to worry. Farnsworth ran in at that very moment.

   “Hey, oldsack.” Bender said, happy for something to distract him. “Whacha doin' down here?”

   “We're almost there! Also, I wanted to see if the device's repluggablity extended to encasement in semi-permeable recycled paper constituents!”

   “You mean... Would it work in a cardboard box?”

   “I believe that's what I said.”

   Bender felt something pulling him down. It was very slight, but still...

   Wait... They must be approaching a planet. Usually, the ship's artificial gravity compensator was a little slow on easing off when they came in to land. Bender, being the ultra-sensitive robot he was, could usually detect when it happened.

   The fact that it took him a while to realize this disturbed Bender. His system was very bogged down, and not spyware bogged down, either.

   He felt like he was running some proprietary virtualisation platform.

~*~*~*~


   Khitomer Three was a pleasant little planet. Not 'copyrighted' pleasant, not quite 'trademarked' pleasant, but sort of pleasant for the trees and birds and such. Actually, the absence of trees and birds and such. Khitomer Three was a desert planet.

   Not all desert planets are bad. You see, nobody wants desert planets, so people are free to do whatever they want to them. This particular one was being rented by the Nobel Peace Committee at the moment, and they were seriously considering banning Farnsworth from attending. But, in the interest of intergalactic peace, he received a special invitation, complete with pre-reserved parking spot, only four miles away from the resort where the conference would be taking place.

   Bender pushed the hover dolly across the burning landscape. He was far too preoccupied to protest against the extra labour. Farnsworth carried a large umbrella to shield himself against the hot blue sun. Fry, Leela and Zoidberg brought up the rear, trying their best to stay in Bender's shadow. It was very early in the morning.

   Inside, there was air conditioning. Zoidberg wandered off to check the water conditioning, while the Professor took the hover dolly himself and pushed it off down a side corridor, leaving Bender, Leela and Fry alone in the lobby.

   Bender stomped over to the receptionist's desk. He glanced over it, as though looking for something. Finally, when he finished, he unscrewed his head and placed it on the surface. He then started pumping his antenna rapidly.

   Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding-

   “I'm here, I'm here!” cried the receptionist, who turned out to be merely an amplified bitraversing auditory data disseminator. It looked a bit like a large speakerphone. “What is it?”

   “One:” replied Bender, returning his head to it's proper location. “What time does this convention start tonight? And two: Where do you keep your safe deposit boxes?”

   “Hmm...” muttered the small device, still rattled by the echoes. “Ok... The conference starts in... Three hours.”

   Leela walked up to the desk. “Oh, don't mind him, he's like this sometim-... Most of the ti-... Ok, he's just like this, period.”

   Bender grunted in a vaingloriously narcissistic way.

   Leela ignored him and continued. “We have reservations under the name 'Mr. Farnsworth'.” she said.

   The modem connected from the phone to the main computer started flickering rapidly. This was accompanied by a stereotypical dailup tone. Bender covered his ears, flinching.

   “Oh, yes... The deluxe suite. Do you have your card, Mrs. Farnsworth?”

   Leela pointed at Bender.

   Bender took a credit card out of his compartment. His finger strategically covered the Professor's hologram.

   “Just slide it through the slot, please, sir.”

   Bender's eyes widened at this. “Oh, I will.” he promised.

~*~*~*~


   Farnsworth pushed the dolly onto the backstage. He took his fancy device out of it's box and carefully placed it on a nearby counter, next to an outlet. He then smiled with glee to himself and walked back towards the door. The door opened before he reached it.

   “Wernstrom!”

   “Ahh, Professor Farnsworth...” wheezed the graying scientist, “Or should I say, Farnsworthless! Tell me, have you come to present something totally inappropriate or are you just here for your acetylcholine injections?”

   “Ahh, and I suppose you're here to present an entire new political system that would result in universal peace! Bah!”

   “As a matter of fact, I am.” said Wernstrom, “But don't worry. These people are very 'peaceful'. They'll let you show your lethargic little contrivance. And they'll even be polite about it.”

   “I should hope so!”

   “But just remember: In the end, I shall be the one in the back, laughing.”

   And with that, he turned and laughed all the way out the door.

   “Oh, you just make it so easy now, Professor!”

   The door closed in Farnsworth's face. A wave of tiredness came over him. He glanced at his invention, and then at the clock hanging over it. Three hours left, he thought. Just enough time to sit down for a sec...

   He sat down in collapsible lab chair nearby. His eyes instantly closed.

   Ow... Ow... Ow...

~*~*~*~


   Fry, Leela and Bender walked into the deluxe suite. It was deserving of it's name.

   “Wow...” Leela remarked, “It even has an ocean-side window...”

   “Over the largest ocean on the planet!” exclaimed Fry, his nose stuck in the brochure. “Wow! Let's see what it looks like...”

   He pulled back the curtains. Nope, nothing... Oh, wait.

   Leela pointed at the fish pond three stories below. “There it is.”

   Bender wandered back over to the door. “Well, I'm gone places. See ya at the conference thingy!”

   “Yeah, you too.”

   Bender turned to leave, but then glanced backwards. “You guys Ok?” he asked.

   “What? Of course.”

   Bender looked suspicious. “What are you guys going to be doing while I'm gone?” he inquired.

   “Uh...” stammered Fry, “We'll be... Watching TV.”

   “Oh yes,” added Leela, walking over to sit on the couch in front of the incredibly large screen. “There's a special on called... Uh... 'Death to all Humans'!”

   Why did I choose that? she thought.

   “Sheesh, fine, no need to be so touchy! Geez, I have pretty much every inspirational film on tape already...”

   And so he left.

   Leela immediately stood up and walked towards the bedroom.

   “Where are you going?”

   “I,” explained Leela, “am very, very tired. So if you don't mind, I'm taking a nap.”

   Fry yawned unintentionally. “You know, I think I will too. Is that Ok?”

   Leela sighed. “Sure, all right. But no muttering!”

   As they walked into the room, Fry let out a small snicker. “What do you know? Only one bed.”

   Leela flipped a multiple-choice switch on the wall, after which the bed promptly divided in two.

   “Ahh...”

   “I call top bunk!”

   “Hey, no fair!”

~*~*~*~


   Leela sat up straight. She rubbed her head. Why did I just collapse like that?, she thought. Did anyone see me?...

   She glanced around her. No one had, apparently, so she got up off the floor and brushed herself off.

   She didn't notice the chronometer reading. She didn't care. She continued wandering aimlessly.

~*~*~*~


   Fry sat up on the couch wearily. He glanced at the clock. That doesn't make any sense, he thought. How can I sleep for several hours and still be tired?

   He glanced out the windshield. He watched as the autopilot manoeuvred past comet nuclei and asteroids. Up ahead, the sun was merely a bright star among thousands.

   They were almost there.

   The ship carefully passed Pluto, giving Fry a clear view of it's partner, Charon, and their two moons, Nix and Hydra.

   Just like a family, he thought. A pang of sadness passed though him.

   He knew he had to tell her.

~*~*~*~


   “Ow, ow, ow, ow...”

   Farnsworth's head was banging up against the side of his jar. Slowly, he was sliding across the shelf. He had to get to the intercom...

   He took a deep breath and continued.

   “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...”

~*~*~*~


   Leela wandered onto the bridge. Fry turned around to face her quickly.

   “Oh... Hi, Leela.”

   “Hey.” replied Leela, sounding depressed. “What are you doing up here?”

   “Just looking out at the stars, and stuff. Listen... There's something I need to tell you.”

   Leela glanced at him. “Really?”

   “Yes... Could you come sit down, please?”

   Leela nodded and walked over to the couch. It surprised her how every movement she made seemed to have absolutely no significance. She sat down slowly.

   “Leela,” Fry breathed softly, as though he couldn't say it, “I... Haven't said this before... And I know it may be a surprise... But since we may not survive this, I just had to tell you.”

   Leela noted the sound of his voice and leaned toward him, concerned. “What... What is it, Fry?”

   “I...”

   “Yes?”

   “I... I love you!”

   Leela stared at him for several seconds before she was able to comprehend the meaning of those words. When she finally did, she was speechless.

   She didn't know what to say, or even what to think.

   “You... Do?”

   “Yes... And I guess I always have. And I just wanted to tell you, before we got to Earth and... You know.”

   Leela nodded. She knew.

   Fry continued on suddenly. “And... I wanted to give you this.”

   He held up the ring he had been fiddling in his fingers. Leela stared at it, confused.

   “What... What's it for?”

   “I found it when we went down to the ruins of Old New York.” Fry explained, trying not to show his tears, “And don't worry, it's not for a commitment or anything. I understand if you don't feel the same way. It's just... One of us may survive this... And if it's you... I just wanted you to have something to remember me by.”

   He turned away so she wouldn't see him cry.

   Leela stared at the back of his head, and then at the ring she now held in her palm. She had never thought anything like this would ever happen. She had no idea how to respond at all...

   Her mind was a blank.

   She could hardly concentrate.

   Whieee-ooo whistled the intercom.

   She took advantage of the sound and stood up quickly to answer it.

   So had Fry, and they both arrived in front of the panel at the same time.

   He turned away. Leela felt sad and empty inside. She didn't want to hurt him.

   Why can't I say anything? she thought.

   “Leela here, Captain,” she answered.

   “Leela?” said a whispering voice, “I need you and Fry down here right now!”

   “Yeah, all right...” replied Leela, distracted. “We'll be right- Professor!? What are you doing?”

   “I need you two down here, now!”

   Leela glanced over at Fry. He was pretending to listen to what Farnsworth was saying. Leela looked away.

   “Well... We're kind of busy right now, trying to... Uh...”

   “Save Earth?” suggested Fry.

   “Yes, save Earth. We're trying to save Earth.”

   “Well, save it later! I have to tell you something now that could save the universe!”

   Fry glanced up at Leela. This must be important.

   Leela was thinking the exact same thing. “We're coming, Professor.”

   Fry left the bridge first. Leela followed him, but not before she had the chance to slip the small, golden ring into her pocket.

~*~*~*~


   Farnsworth was not happy with himself at all. He turned back and forth in his jar, the head equivalent of pacing in a worrisome manner. He turned quickly when the door opened.

   “Fry! Leela! It's about time you got here!”

   The first thing Fry noticed was Leela's wrist thing sitting next to a copy of 'DIY: Proctology'. There was some black and white spinning diagram on it's display. Fry looked closer at it, but averted his eyes when he started feeling dizzy. Next to it, he then noticed, was his nephew's head, glasses crooked. Fry walked over to straighten them.

   “Not now, not now, Fry! Listen up, both of you! Have you been having strange dreams lately?”

   “Professor,” said Leela, “Now is not the right time...”

   “Yes, it is! Tell me!”

   Fry and Leela glanced at each other, shocked.

   “Sure, a few. Nothing important.”

   “Same here.”

   “Hmm...” replied the Professor, “What about... Thoughts you can't explain?”

   Leela's eye opened wide.

   “Yes...” she said slowly, “How did you know?”

   “I deduced it. Fry came to me earlier, thinking this was Bender's room.”

   “That's not-”

   “Shh! And you both have been very tired lately-”

   “Professor,” interrupted Fry again, “Not that it's any of our business, but why are you making us waste time here? We're passing Saturn right now!”

   “Tachyons!”

   “Tachyons?”

   “Oh, oh, I've heard of those! They're, like, glue particles or something?”

   “No, you idiot!” exclaimed Farnsworth, “A machine of mine back on Earth emits tachyons!”

   Leela and Fry glanced at each other again, as though concerned for the Professor's remaining sanity.

   “Don't look at yourselves like that, for a reason you both know perfectly well! Now listen to me!”

   Fry and Leela listened.

   “My research has lead me to believe that tachyons are the elementary unit of thought. Since this machine emits them, they can have an adverse affect on our minds!”

   He paused to take a breath.

   “I've been examining the effect of this particular Greek flavour of tachyon, and have discovered what it has been doing! You've both felt very tired lately, right?”

   “Yes...”

   “Hmm hmm.”

   “That's because you haven't been getting any sleep!”

   His audience was confused. “Sure we have,” said Leela, “Or else what have we been doing every time we close our eyes for several hours?”

   “You've been drifting into a mental reality!”

   “What?”

   “Uh?”

   “Every time you fall asleep in this reality, you're waking up in a similar mental 'reality'. You have a whole new set of memories, and everything that ever happened to you in this 'reality' becomes either forgotten or reduced to the status of a dream!”

   “And... In what way does this concern the whole universe?”

   “It's been affecting the entire universe! Do really think the Earthican fleet fell for Bender's little deception trick? No, idiots! They've reconvened at Earth. They have a Class Zayin medical alert in progress!”

   Leela reached out and put her wrist accoutrement back on. She was still listening thoroughly.

   “If we don't get back to Earth and turn off that machine, soon, everyone will be pulled into the second reality, and the real one will disappear! And since the second one is dependent on the real one, they will all disappear! Forever lost... And gone too, come to think of it...”

   “Crud.” said Fry. “Well, at least we're the real one, and we still have a chance to save it.” He looked over at Leela hopefully. “Right?”

   Leela sighed. She nodded because she knew it would cheer him up.

   “Not necessarily!” cried Farnsworth. Leela withered inside.

   “It is possible that this reality is the dream one! In that case, all of this is an illusion!”

   “You mean... All this could be... Not real?”

   “Exactly!”

   “Hear that, Leela? This whole world could just be a dream! None of this may actually exist! The dreams could be real!”

   “In which case,” the Professor informed them, “It will be your alternate selves who must turn off the device.”

   “So in other words,” Leela muttered, in a state of abject disappointment, “If all this is real, we have to save it by turning off your contraption. And if this is all a dream, then our 'other selves' must turn it off.”

   “There are no 'other selves'!” exclaimed Farnsworth, sounding slightly nettled. “All there is is you! Whenever you cross over between the realities, the only thing that changes are your thoughts and memories. And even some of those seep across, if they're really emotional. Your feelings, your underlying sentiments, your soul... All of them are exactly the same!”

   “Uhh...” asked Fry slowly, fully aware of how stupid he sounded, “Why?”

   “Because only memories are physically contained within our brains, and are thus stuck in whatever set of physical laws in which they happen to be residing. But the essence of what is really you, your spirit, your katra, your emotions... are all relatively unconnected to matter and are free to convey themselves over the interdimensional emotionally psychologic pathways!”

   Farnsworth leaned forward in his jar. “Listen to me. You must get down to Earth and turn off that device. It is critical. While you do that, I'll fall asleep and see what I can do to shut it down on the other side.”

   “But what about Earth? And stopping Bender?”

   “Forget about Earth! This is about saving the universe! Now, the machine is located...”

~*~*~*~


   Bender snuck back into the room, his chest compartment full. Not that he couldn't steal any more, oh no, he could. He just had to make some room.

   He walked over to the couch and sat on it. It creaked and bent under his weight. He took a quick breather, then tried to stand up again.

   He couldn't. He was suddenly tired.

   Well, he thought, Maybe I can catch the last few minutes of that 'Kill All Humans' show...

   He was suddenly very tired...

~*~*~*~


   Farnsworth watched Fry and Leela pack up the few things they'd need. Leela got herself a laser pistol and hung a spool of clear wire on her belt. Fry ran quickly around the room, logging off the computer, hiding confidential documents, the like. Finally, he came to the bookshelf.

   “Goodbye,” he said sadly.

   “Don't worry,” replied the Professor, trying to smile, “If this really is a dream reality, I'll just see you when I wake up.”

   “Are you sure that we shouldn't be working in the other world?”

   “Of course! Fry told us that in the dream, I had my body. That means I can be of some use there. This scenario I've laid out allows us to most efficiently utilize our manpower.”

   Leela stared at him.

   “And womanpower.”

   Leela smirked.

   “Don't worry, Professor. We'll take care of it.”

   “Yes, yes, now go! I know that the more emotional this moment is, the more I'll remember it when I get over there, but seriously, this is bordering on mawkishness!”

   Fry smiled as he pushed 'The Nutshell in a Universe' in front of the jar. He then turned to follow Leela out into the corridor. He was almost there when he stopped and turned around.

   “Professor?”

   “Yah...?”

   “Don't do anything stupid, Ok?”

   Fry could practically hear the smile spread across Farnsworth's face.

   “Likewise!” he replied. “Allons-y!”

   Fry followed Leela out into the corridor. The door closed behind him.

~*~*~*~


   Bender sat down on the bridge. He watched the rubble and debris of the asteroid belt appear to scatter as the ship manoeuvred around it.

   Slowly, he got an idea. He stood up and walked over to the window. He got a firm grip on the frame, and then opened it.

   The air blew past him and out the window in a maelstrom so tempestuous it made reentry into an atmosphere look like the gust of wind caused by the flapping of a butterfly's wing.

   But even just the flap of a butterfly's wing is enough to trigger a hurricane, he thought.

   This complete disregard for the nuances of chaos theory showed just how insane Bender was. He stuck his head out the window to get a better view of the approaching blue dot which was Earth.

   That's when the rock hit him. He didn't see it coming at all. He was delusional.

   And that bang to the head sure didn't help matters.

   “Why you...!”

   Bender grabbed the ball of stone and ice and commenced trying to strangle it.

   He didn't see the shuttlecraft leaving the cargo bay. He didn't see it adjust course and head off towards Earth. He didn't see anything.

   Pathetic, pathetic! he thought.

~*~*~*~


   Pathetic, pathetic! thought Bender as he shot up off the couch. This abrupt motion caused his metal door to open, and triggered an avalanche of stolen goods.

   After about five minutes, everything was on the floor.

   I'll pick it up later, he thought.

   He walked around the pile, and up to the bedroom door. He opened it.

   “Well, well, well, what's been going on here, then?”

~*~*~*~


   Farnsworth awoke suddenly. He had something very important to do. He looked upwards and noticed the clock.

   Good Lord! he realized, It's almost time for the conference to start!

   He stood up quickly and turned to his invention, which had once again plugged itself into the wall.

   So... Why exactly was Zoidberg's hand on the cord?

   “Zoidberg? You've been plugging it back in?”

   Zoidberg flinched. “Was I not a'spposed to?”

   “Why you stupid red-shelled excuse for a scallop! I don't know why I even rescued you from that kennel in the first place!”

   He raised his hand back to slap Zoidberg with rage. This took a while.

   Don't do anything stupid, Ok?

   Zoidberg started trying to creep away. The Professor didn't notice. He was... Distracted.

   Don't worry, Professor. We'll take care of it.

   Forget about Earth! Now, the machine...

   All this could be... Not real?

   You've been drifting... A mental reality!

   Zoidberg was almost at the door.

   Tachyons...

   Emits tachyons!

   I'll see what I can do to shut it down on the other side...

   Reduced to the status of a dream!

   “Zoidberg, you're a genius!”

   Zoidberg stopped. “I know!”

   “You've reminded my of something I need to do!”

   Zoidberg put on his best Harrison Otis Carter look. “Well, I try my best...”

   Farnsworth stomped over to the desk where the gadget was resting. He stared at it for a second, before forcibly yanking the plug from the wall.

   “I can't present this!” he exclaimed, “It doesn't do anything! It was all you!”

   “Well, us geniuses do try to help, we do...”

   Farnsworth saw that the battery gauge was still pointing at 'full'. He reached out to flip the 'off' switch.

   Then he stopped.

   These batteries do need to be conditioned... he thought. I should let them run down...

   No! It's been affecting the entire universe!

   You must turn off that device...

   Everyone will be pulled into the second reality, and the real one will disappear!

   No! That was just a dream...

   The dreams could be real!

   The Professor shook his head. No, that was just a dream! He didn't have to do what a dream said!

   Don't do anything stupid, Ok?

   It's stupid to do what a dream tells you to do!

   Farnsworth neglected the device and turned around to face Zoidberg with a look of determination in his glasses.

   “Zoidberg!” he called.

   “Yes?”

   “Let's go laugh... At Wernstrom!”

   “Aye aye, sir!”

~*~*~*~


   Leela led the way down the corridor, followed by Bender, who was followed by Fry.

   “For the last time, nothing happened!”

   “Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. You were in the same room, together, period. That's all I need to know.”

   “We were in separate beds!”

   “So you had a fight afterwards. I know how it works, I watch the Animal Channel!”

   “Bender,” Fry interjected, “Nothing happened.”

   Bender turned to stare slowly at Fry. He was stunned silent.

   “Oh dear, Fry!” he exclaimed, looking concerned, “You've been waiting so long, and now something of this magnitude happens, and your mind blanks it out! Oh dear...”

   And... I wanted to give you this.

   Fry stopped walking suddenly. Nobody else noticed, because they had stopped too.

   “Ok,” said Leela, “According to the Professor's instructions, which I found written on the back of this business card for a company that makes business cards for writing instructions on the back of, the conference room is right behind this door.”

   She reached out and opened the door. The room inside was a huge ballroom, with crystal chandeliers and everything. It was outfitted with at least seventy or eighty tables set up across it. On the stage, Jerry continued with his monologue.

   “And so then, the guy says to me 'Hey, look pal, if you didn't want to get on the train, why'd you buy the tickets in the first place?'”

   Leela closed the door. “Oops. It must be in this other room, right next to the one we just looked in.”

   Leela opened the next door. The room inside was exactly the same size and layout. Around it, ambassadors and dignitaries of all different species were gathered, each participating in some emotional spectra of palaver. Bender rushed in with glee and walked up to two lizard-resembling creatures dressed in what appeared to be cloaks made of woven gold.

   “Pardon me, kind sirs, but I couldn't help but notice that your pleasant exchange of viewpoints is being continually pierced with high-volume interjections. Perhaps you are merely overburdened by the weight of your loose metal outer garments. Would you like me to take them for you?”

   “Gquee?”

   It didn't take long for the Professor to find them. He rushed from where he had been, standing beside the entrance, to where they were, which by now was a good deal away from the entrance.

   “Good news, everyone! I've decided not to present my invention!”

   “Oh...”

   “Well... Why not?”

   “Zoidberg convinced me.”

   “Yes, Zoidberg was right! 'Twas a noble act, a noble act it was! Full of courage and bravery, and...”

   Farnsworth leaned over to the other two. “Let's ditch him and take a seat!”

   He led them to one of the smaller tables, with enough chairs around it to seat five people. After they'd sat down comfortably, the crew winced as they heard the Professor say one word that was sure to foreshadow any coming violence.

   “Wernstrom!”

   But it wasn't spoken with the usual hatred. Instead, Farnsworth's voice was vibrant, happy, and strong. Needless to say, it got Wernstrom's attention.

   “Well, well, well, if it isn't-”

   “Yes, yes, I know the speech. Now sit with us!”

   “Hmm... It would be most entertaining from my point of view... And since I can't prove that I'm not the only point of view that exists... Very well.”

   An evil smile curled on Farnsworth's lips as Wernstrom sat down. Leela leaned over towards him.

   “Professor, if you're not presenting your machine, then what are you going to do during your allotted speaking time?”

   “Ahh...” whispered the Professor, “You see, I've hired some top-quality intergalactic-style entertainment! Since half the people are bored to death here, like those...”

   He pointed to several people at the next table, who weren't moving and looked extremely bored.

   “It'll be a relief for everyone to have a short interlude of rest! If you check the schedule, you'll see that none have been planned.”

   “Um... Professor? The schedule has your time marked as the lunch break.”

   “Ahh, dinner theatre! Excellent!”

   Silence spread throughout the room as the last of the people took their seats. Up on the stage, what appeared to be a large metallic spider attached to a jar crawled up onto the podium. Actually, it was Robert Oppenheimer's head.

   “Hello, everyones! I'd like to welcome you to the Twenty-Seventh Annual Intergalactic Nobel Peace Conference. The 'annual', of course, is measured in Annualian years. The committee would like to thank them for being the only planet ignorant enough not to copyright their calenders; and also Al Yankovic, for not copyrighting the number.”

   Over at the Annualian table, the Annualians started arguing in a confused and disjointed way. Al just smiled and began humming some tune by the Talking Heads.

   “Also, I'd like to thank Professor Wernstrom for building me this new system of transportation.” Oppenheimer waved one of the robotic insectiod legs in the air. “It'll come in handy, as the conference is occurring on Metebelis Three next year...”

   Farnsworth leaned over to his colleague. “This isn't a contest, you know.”

   Wernstrom turned to stare at him. He looked confused.

   Farnsworth fought to keep himself from smiling. He failed.

   Wernstrom slowly looked away.

   “...And so, to kick off this colloquy, we have renowned physicist Newt Rino, on the economic collapse of the Bohr Galaxy's wavefunctions.”

   Oppenheimer scuttled away as the professor approached the podium and began lecturing on about something called a Keynes tauon. The entire room muttered in agreement.

   Bender walked up to the table and sat down. “Did I miss anything?” he whispered.

   “No.”

   Bender put his legs up on the table while stashing his fancy gold cloak in his chest. He then promptly proceeded to fall asleep.

   Wernstrom grimaced.

~*~*~*~


   The Professor is insane, Bender thought. No one's gonna think he's a hero. He's delusional, that's what he is...

   Bender shot up straight in his chair.

   Stupid malfunctions! Pathetic, pathetic!

   Bender grabbed the steering wheel and turned the ship back to face Earth. I swear, if the engine errs again, I will take this rock and shove it up somebody's tailpipe!

   He glanced down at the basketball-sized planetoid he still held in his hand.

   Hmph.

   Earth was going to pay.

   Bender sat down and zoomed his eye focus. He picked a point on the blue planet's surface.

   Metal to the pedal to the artificially coloured floorboard imitation plastic...

~*~*~*~


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Hmmm...and we race toward the exciting conclusion...what will happen next?

This is looking great; roll on Part 3! 

Impressive. This is a good read, naturally.
I actually laughed out loud a number of times. For example the "only-four-miles-away" parking spot and "Farnsworthless". Love the dream/reality dichotomy too.

 

"Don't look at yourselves like that, for a reason you both know perfectly well!"

That is so something the Professor would say.

One thing though: Bender's chest compartment was full?? Really? When does that ever happen?

Utterly absorbing.

Xanfor, most of the time, like many of the others who have posted, your fanfic makes me feel unsettled, but on a level I do not hate nor comprehend. Whatever happened to you to inspire this fanfic, bless it.

So when is the next installment coming, Xanfor?

That was wild. 
Excellent work. What a fantastic and epic tale. Shame about the other Universe ending.

Yes, quite spiffing.

I'll have more to say when I've read it again.

Impressive Xanfor, most impressive. Lot's of really good detail. I think "dream Bender" is kind of like what Bender might have become had they actually been flying towards Earth at the end of "APTR".

An interesting end to a gripping story.
I could visualize the evil Bender, in his cape, very well. I had expected perhaps some more overt declaration by Leela in the remaining universe, but probably better this way.

 

Originally posted by JustNibblin':
Yes, I'd say Xanfor is channeling a bit of Doug Adams at certain parts.

Just a little bit...
The influence struck me more during the first part, though.

 

Originally posted by Xanfor:
Needs some work, but hey, it's recognizable, innit?   

No. He's got his hand over his chin so it could be Bender or Flexo.   

 

Originally posted by Frisco17:

No. He's got his hand over his chin so it could be Bender or Flexo.   

I'm not sure whether you owe me points or I owe you points for that. 

Anyway, I drew it while I was in the hospital a few weeks ago, that's why the edges are all shaky. Some editing oughta clear it up, though...