SpaceCase
Liquid Emperor
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« Reply #680 on: 09-17-2006 14:50 »
« Last Edit on: 09-17-2006 14:50 »
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Originally posted by jle1993: Congrats SpaceCase, what you prof of then? Ah... hmm... er... I'm a Professor of the Quintessence... Yeah, yeah, that's it... I'm trying to be patent but Venus' story has me hanging. I understand, but isn't it worth the wait?
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Shiny
Professor
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Ack! Gushing praise... must respond... compelled to update ...can't resist...One of the best flimsy excuses ever. “Surprisingly non-invasive.” One of the best descriptions of medical tests ever. “I’m the one lounging in death’s deck chair!” One of the best metaphors for proximity to death ever. “I’m getting my ass kicked by karma.” One of the best bewailing of circumstances ever. “Would you feel better if we Feng-Shuied your bedroom?” One of the best offers of mundane distraction ever. (I’m going to steal this one for RL situations... ) “A mistake is forgetting to put a cling sheet in the dryer.” One of the best examples of a minor mistake ever. “She seems more concerned about her effect on us than her own health. I thought she would be more frightened of the seizures than she seems to be. She acts mostly embarrassed by them.” Very perceptive of him. I can’t wait to see where this is going... “Maybe we should sleep in shifts.” One of the best punchlines ever. Sum up: One of the best updates of one of the best stories ever!
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Shiny
Professor
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« Reply #684 on: 09-19-2006 19:35 »
« Last Edit on: 09-19-2006 19:35 »
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Of course I still love you, silly! I just didn't know you had posted until I went looking for Xanfor's new story (that he announced with great fanfare) and saw your thread had been bumped and resolved that after I'd read his I'd nip over to check to see if you'd made an update (one that you had totally failed to announce with ANY fanfare at ALL :annoyed glare: ) or if another newby had just discovered your brilliance for the first time. I considered the latter more likely, but much to my delight, it was the former. Next time, more and louder fanfare! Some of us codgers are getting hard of hearing... Edited to avoid adding more posts to a thread nearing that dreaded "big two-oh"...( Read this after reading Ralph's post below.) She could tweet her own pennywhistle, maybe...?
Yeah, all that for a quip so lame it has its own telethon. So sue me. YOU READ IT! YOU CAN'T UNREAD IT! MWUAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAAHHH!
Also...made you look! Heh.
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Ralph Snart
Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
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Venus is not the type to toot her own horn.
Therefore, we should toot it more for her.
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Venus
Urban Legend
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Let myself slip all the way down to page three. I suck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Planet Express 10:24 am Recovery: Day 7
“And that concludes my humorous story about the inconsistencies in today’s business tax law.”
Amy’s head slid off her propped up hand causing her to smash her face into the table, abruptly waking her and the rest of the crew who had all been sleeping through their morning meeting.
Disappointed that he hadn’t gotten the laugh he had expected Hermes forged ahead with his morning agenda. “Moving on. Any new business?” He was met with blank stares. “Any old business?” When once again he was met with silence he directed his next question directly at Fry. “Any Leela business?”
“Oh that’s right,” Amy said as she rubbed her bruised nose. “You ran out of here all freaked out yesterday and then you never came back. What happened?”
“Leela had a seizure yesterday and I had’ta take her to her doctor.”
The crew gasped and made general noises of concern over the news.
“Is she alright?” Hermes asked, already trying to figure out mentally what forms he would need to add to Leela’s ever-growing pile of insurance papers.
“Well,” Fry started slowly. “She complained the whole time, so I guess that means she’s okay.”
“What did her doctor say?” Professor Farnsworth prompted hoping he wouldn’t have to wait too much longer to either get his captain back or at the very least a steaming mound of assorted bodily tissues.
Fry shrugged. “A bunch of stuff I didn’t understand. All I got from it was that she’s still in danger and that she has to take a lot of pills now. She didn’t like it. And then she got all grumpy. And then she cried. And then we all had dinner.”
“Awwww, poor Leela.” Amy said. “Hey! Maybe we should all go visit her! It might cheer her up or something!”
Bender chimed in: “It would get us out of work for the morning.”
“And give me a chance to get the extra personal information I need for her medical forms.” Hermes added.
“Can we Professor? Pleeeaaase??” Amy begged as cutely as possible. But the Professor was already on his feet, a large cooler labeled ‘Leela’s Organs’ in one hand and a pair of salad tongs in the other.
“Might as well, those organs aren’t going to harvest themselves you know!”
Residence of Turanga Morris & Munda 10:30 am Recovery: Day 7
Hunching low he stalked his prey. She had foolishly turned her back to him, leaving herself exposed. Silently he eased around the corner of the armchair then paused to watch her. Timing was critical. He’d only get one shot. Crouching down on his haunches he readied himself, aimed, and…
“Nibbler!”
Mission Accomplished.
Nibbler released Munda’s tail and darted into the safety of the kitchen where he would hide and await his next victim. Probably Munda again. When forced to play the part of a pet all day, one had to make their own fun. Plus Munda had scolded him that morning for jumping on the table, so really she’d had it coming.
Munda glared after him, her tail swishing peevishly. He hadn’t hurt her, just startled her but with her nerves already on edge she wasn’t seeing the fun in his game.
She was startled yet again when the front door opened seemingly of its own accord. Whirling around she was greeted by the sight of Bender strolling in as if he owned the place. He was followed a few steps behind by other members of her daughter’s crew, who actually did her the courtesy of knocking politely on the doorframe before entering.
Despite her quickly souring mood, Munda put on her best hostess face and welcomed the crew into the living room. Then she went to retrieve her daughter who had been lounging in her bedroom reading a book.
Coming down the steps Leela was pleasantly surprised as well as a tad worried to see not just Fry and Bender but the whole crew crowded into the small room.
“I wasn’t expecting to see all of you down here.” She stated as she leaned against the banister.
“Neither did I,” Munda muttered under her breath. Wanting to escape the crowd she politely excused herself and sought the relative safety of the kitchen. Where she was ambushed by Nibbler all over again. She stifled curses while he stifled giggles.
Leela came the rest of the way down the stairs, indulged Fry in their now customary greeting hug, and settled herself in the only vacant spot left on the couch.
“Slow work day?” She asked.
“We all wanted to come see how you were doing.” Amy explained. “Fry told us what happened yesterday.”
“I was allowed to tell them right?” Fry asked concerned when he noted the unhappy frown on Leela’s face.
Leela shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter. At least it keeps me from having to explain why my medical leave is going to have to last longer than originally expected.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Hermes stated comfortingly. “Your pay will be sufficiently docked to minimize d’company’s losses.”
“Joy.” Leela muttered under her breath.
Bender leaned slightly forward with interest. “So, we get to see one of these seizures, or what?”
Fry was horrified. “Bender!”
“What? I hear these sort’a things are supposed to be a real show!”
“I’m not a sideshow act, Bender.” Leela stated hotly. “And I can’t conjure seizures up by will. If I could I wouldn’t have started having them to begin with.”
“In other words this was a waste of a trip?” Incensed Fry socked Bender in the arm bruising his knuckles but failing to gain Bender’s attention.
“I mean really,” The robot continued. “For Fry to be having such spectacular nightmares about you every night you must be doing something interesting!”
At the word ‘nightmares’ Fry had begun gesturing wildly for Bender to shut up, gestures that went ignored since Bender wasn’t even looking in his direction. Leela turned to Fry with a stricken look on her face. All he could do was stare helplessly back at her with an expression much like a deer in headlights.
“Fry’s been having nightmares about me?” She quietly asked Bender even though she was still looking at Fry.
“Every night since he started sleeping back at the apartment it’s been the same ole thing!” He heightened the pitch of his voice to imitate, “No not Leela! Pleeeeease don’t hurt Leela! Bla-bla…Leela this, bla-dee-bla…Leela that. All night long! You have no idea how annoying it can be!”
Leela’s shoulders hunched and she suddenly looked very tired. “Fry why didn’t you tell me?”
Fry looked around wildly, desperately wishing Bender knew how to take a hint. He could see the guilt rising in her eye. With everything she was having to go through he hated being the one to make it worse.
“Cause…it…uh…wasn’t important?”
“Chronic nightmares? You wouldn’t call that important?”
Fry fidgeted uncomfortably. He was very aware that everyone was staring at him. Leela wasn’t the only one who hadn’t known of his night terrors.
“…What good would telling you have done? It would just make you feel bad. And make that face you’re making. And I would still keep having them anyway.”
Defeated, Leela ran her hand through her hair. “I still wish you’d have told me.”
Leela’s interest in small talk pretty much died at that point. She listened politely as Amy gossiped about that week’s celebrity news, filled out the blank spaces in Hermes’ paperwork, and grimly suffered a ‘cheer up hug’ from Zoidberg. Fry kept trying to make eye contact with her, attempting to silently apologize for making her feel bad, but too full of her own guilt she avoided his gaze.
When the Professor inevitably became bored and demanded everyone return to the office Fry hung back intending to have a few extra words with Leela. He was unsure however, about what exactly to say to her. He floundered uselessly. Leela watched him expectantly knowing he was on the verge of attempting some kind of unpleasant conversation.
“…I’m sorry.” He said at last.
“For?”
“Upsetting you.”
“You didn’t upset me.”
“Yes I did. You’re all upset.”
“I’m not upset at you.”
“But you’re still upset.”
“Not at you.”
“At my nightmares.”
“…I’m less than thrilled, I admit.”
“So you are upset at me!”
Leela groaned softly. She felt trapped in a bad Vaudeville act. “You can’t control what you dream about Fry. It’s my fault you’re having nightmares. Not yours. I started all this and I’m the one that should be sorry.”
Fry buried his hands deep in his pockets. “I’m sorry I made you feel sorry.” He said sadly.
Knowing this conversation could go on in circles forever if she let it Leela sighed. “You should go. Hermes is going to chew you out for being late.”
“I don’t care.”
“Yeah well, I do. If you don’t want me to feel sorry then don’t give me things to be sorry about. I don’t want you getting yelled at on my account.”
“See you tomorrow?” Fry asked, finally relenting after a few moments consideration.
She gave him a relieved smile. “Of course.”
At the sound of the door closing after him Munda peeked into the living room. “It safe?” She asked.
“Yeah,” Leela responded. “They’re gone.”
“If the whole crew was going to come down here you’d think they’d call first.” Munda huffed with disapproval as she and Morris took a seat on the couch.
“Not their style. That would involve planning and forethought.”
“Those were all of your co-workers, weren’t they?” Morris asked.
“Everyone but the janitor.”
“I’m surprised they could afford to all take off work at once like that. Wouldn’t someone need to stay behind to keep the office open?”
“You’re overestimating how much business we actually get.” Suddenly Leela’s expression grew suspicious. “Speaking of business, weren’t you supposed to go back to work today?”
Morris stared at his daughter as if she had suddenly given birth to a pandimensional white rat.
“You’re kidding right?”
“Dad you promised!”
“Well technically,” Morris said holding up a finger to interrupt her, “I never actually used the word promise.”
“That doesn’t matter! The intent was clear!”
“You actually expect me to go into work while you’re here having seizures?!”
Leela sulked fiercely. “I’m sure I can survive with just one parent hovering at a time.”
“I’m not going. That’s final. Conversation over.”
Leela dropped the argument deciding to let him think for the moment that he had won. She would simply wait a while and ambush him with it when he least expected. Though it normally wasn’t her style, she knew a few sulking arguments and some well timed pouts could have him at work by tomorrow.
While Morris and Leela had been having it out Munda had noticed something sticking out from between the couch cushions. Pulling the item out she realized they were salad tongs.
“Leela, that man with the cooler left these in the couch. Why did he even have them down here?”
Leela shuddered at the sight of them. “You don’t want to know Mom. Believe me, you don’t want to know.”
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Shiny
Professor
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Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Oh, shippy, shippy, joy, joy, Shippy, shippy, joy, joy, Shippy, shippy, joy, joy, Shippy, shippy, joy, joy, Shippy, shippy, joy, joy, Shippy, shippy, joy, joy, Shippy, shippy, joy, joy, joy!
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SpaceCase
Liquid Emperor
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Originally posted by Venus: Oh it will be finished. I did not put three years of work into this thing to abandon it. You go girl! ... Even if i have to staple my ass to the chair i will finish this. [*Wince*] Sounds painful. You could use Velcro, maybe?
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Xanfor
DOOP Secretary
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Don't give her ideas, SpaceCase!
Here, Venus, you can borrow my air compressor...
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KitKatBar-Fry
Liquid Emperor
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Wow. Nice, very nice. There are no known words to describe its greatness...except maybe supercalafragalisticexpialato ciously gooood!
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Xanfor
DOOP Secretary
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Yes, and I have a degree in Supercalafragalistics to back that up.
Sure I do. Yeah. Yeah...
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Arkan
Bending Unit
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Ooh, update! OK, so I'm two days behind, but that's what I get when I don't check back here often enough, I guess... Um, so, I think Shiny pretty much summed up my thoughts. Bender's seizure comments were funny and disturbing, just like the salad tongs. Aww, and I liked the bit about Fry's nightmares, too! Okay, so I'm a very sick person......Yayness!
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leela_1i
Crustacean
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HI VENUS! I REALLY LIKE YOUR STORY! WHEN CAN WE EXCPECT THE NEXT UPDATE?
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Ralph Snart
Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
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Let's see. Venus is in her final year in college, she's holding down two jobs, she recently got screwed over by her roommates and had to move to a smaller place (but at least she is now longer at the mercy of deadbeat roomies) and she's a devoted cat-mommy.
I'm amazed that she updates as often as she does.
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