We, the people of Peel, find ourselves with a great responsibility. We are gathered in this thread for one prupose: to select which evil overlord we will grant the world to.

Voting will commence at the time of this poll's posting, and will cease shortly after I get back from the NYC Peelcon. At that time, if there is a tie or the race is within one or two votes, I will arbitrarily declare a winner. So try not to cause ties for the sake of ties, all you'll be doing is putting the decision in my grubby little hands 

In order of appearance in the campaign thread, here are our nominees -

1 - Tallywhacker, whose campaign includes points such as mandatory free love, a world without pants, and if he has his way, "the streets will run with semen!"

2 - Guineapig Trick and JBERGES wish to rule the world side by side, hand in hand. GPT will be a puppet, making speeches while Jberges runs the show from backstage. They have not declared what titles they want, but we can assume GPT still wants to be known as Supreme Jesus, the title he was campaigning for before allying with berges.

3 - The TNUK-O-Rama-Incident Party is an alliance of TNUK, Nerd-o-rama, and the Lampster. TNUK is a controlling madman, Lampy is some kind of a bastard, and Nerd-O-Rama is their strategist.

4 - M0le aspires to be the Gravy Boat Overlord. He shows excellent smear campaign skills and is responsible for GPT's nickname - "no penis".  Wants to see the world's population fed on vegetarians.

5 - Nasty Pasty wishes to invade the USA for the hell of it, and the frozen food aisle in order to plunder their frozen cookie dough. His running mate is 3Whoop, who plots to create a Mexican Butt Sex colony presided over by Nurdbot.

6 - Mango's Bunnies For Everyone campaign is controversial but a definite departure from standard Evil Overlordship. Is it time for a change? Ice cream and lemonade and ponies are important to this candidate.

7 - Nixorbo is another puppetmaster-style Overlord. He wields html, promises free high speed internet to the world, and will most likely arm his special forces with razor-edged frisbees. "Vote Nix. Or else." Plans to nuke the world into oblivion upon his death.

8 - The Names Nick is running on a campaign of moderate oppression, anti-socialism, numerous televised deathmatches, and turning DrThunder into Robocop.

9 - The AUMCAP, consisting of Alex Vilagosh and Mikey and SJM, wishes to acquire New Zealand, and unacquire Tasmania. Will most likely have the empire's anthem be "I'm a bloke, I'm a yobbo, me best mate's name is Robbo".

10 - I, TMC, court the position of ultimate power, God-King of the World. I want to restructure society so civilization only exists within my walled cities. France is to be invaded twice yearly and made to surrender, on principle. A liederhosen-wearing [-Marc-] will lead Germany's forces.  I will be capricious, vicious, and crafty. I will leave the world standing for the next evil overlord, and preside over the world in my orbiting mausoleum at the end of my days.

Several candidates were eliminated in the interests of narrowing the field down to 10 poll choices. Most of those eliminated never bothered to answer questions fully outlining their policies, and the rest wouldn't have won anyhow.

Let the madness BEGIN!

Just to show everyone the kind of assholes you'll be voting for in this party, I voted for myself, TNUK, and Nerdo.

BAH!
As your newly and self proclaimed Supreme Overlord and Master, Voting means nothing.
I am simply taking over now.

Eh? Wha's tha'?
Oh, my, yes. As your newly and self proclaimed
Supreme Overloard and Master,
I am casting my vote for Nixorbo
purely on his Razored Frisbee plan.

 

Originally posted by Tweek:
I voted for Mango, clearly the only wonderful person on the list   

No she's not.  She's trying to have babies with Jeff (my current lover.)   

Edit: ...but whatever, there are sex scandals all over the place.

I voted for Nix, at least when he's being an evil bastard he's fair.

I voted for TNUK-O-Rama-Incident Party.
Why?  Because if I didn't, they wouldn't be too nice to me when they won.

I would like to thank my associates, Zed 85 and Daniela for the excellent artwork they contributed to our campaign.


I would also like to reiterate my contribution to The TNUK-o-ramaIncident Party's plans:
The Rise to Ascension, or
Nerd-o-rama's 12 step plan to Conquering Earth (without really trying):
1) Graduate from college with a BSCS.
2) Get a job with Microsoft while I'm in graduate school, to learn the ways of evil firsthand.
3) Get a doctorate and/or a business degree.  I think doctorate, because if anyone is going to know about my evil overlordship, I might as well be "Dr. Nerd-o-rama."
4) Start my own software design firm with venture capital bilked from my rich shuyster roommate.
5) Sue Microsoft for all it's worth with my rich shuyster roommate.
6) Gain a monopoly over government networking/software needs by actually selling them decent stuff at reasonable prices instead of the shitty, overpriced 80's era crap they have now. Either that or sell shitty, overpriced 80's era crap to North Korea, but that's a different plan.
7) Use my various backdoors in the government's software to gain incriminating evidence against our leaders. This and some cash will get me anything I want in Washington.
8) Assassinate rich shuyster roommate. He knows too much.
9) Use the vast profits from other sectors of my business (I'm thinking Game Development, mostly) to buy out major media outlets.
10) Use my influence over America's leaders to begin an all-out military offensive against the other powers in the world. Many will die, but people will still support the war because my news networks tell them too. Any dissident Bloggers will be rounded up by the Department of Homeland Security.
11) Eventually, America will emerge victorious, because no other country will be secretly ruled by an inhuman tyrant who cares nothing for the lives of his soldiers. Except North Korea, but they suck.
12) I am now Overlord of Earth. I shall split th actual work with TNUK and Lampy, since aside from government control of all industry and agriculture (and the revival of numerous science fiction series,) there's not that much I want done.  Oh, and the nuking of the state of Texas.

No fuss, no muss, no one knows that I'm actually running things.  I (and TNUK and Lampy, of course) run America from behind the scenes, America runs the world from in front of the scenes, and so on.  People can get on with their lives as well as they want
------------------
Vote for TheTNUK-o-ramaIncident Party!

Since we're planning on taking over by corruption and force eventually anyway, you might as well support us so you don't get defenestrated when we do.

Also, I should add that I will appoint (with the approval of my associates) Zed 85 as Chairman of Economic Regulation, and Daniela as official propaganda graphics artist.  Of the world.  And they each can have as many willing young women as they want.
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Vote for TheTNUK-o-ramaIncident Party!

Since we're planning on taking over by corruption and force eventually anyway, you might as well support us so you don't get defenestrated when we do.

Assasination attempts will get you nowhere TMC.

wtf I didn't make the list?

Vote for us!  Our platforms are vaguely realistic!
Total and Lampy, post and help us out, dammit!

I'm a moderate socialist, that means free money!
TNUK is smarter than all of us!  Or so he claimed shortly before he got banned.
That reminds me, two of us have been banned!  How can you not vote for such badasses?
Lampy needs self-confidence!  He's crying out for help!  Also, he'll fucking kill us all if we lose!

futurefreak, vote for us, and I promise to give you a position in our administration.  Something like...hmm...the Original Futurefreak.  Or give you the island of Corsica or something.

And evan, you traitor!  Us smelly hippies have to stick together.  I've already split the Socialist platform with Nasty, and now you go off and vote for an outsider?

I'm voting for a write-in candidate...Randolph Severn Parker III.

For the same reasons.

Dammit, I'm like the Marx Brother who never spoke!

Yep, had to go with Nasty Pasty. Of course those 12 votes they have would be mine had TMC not neglected to put me on the list and instead put both of his user names on there 

You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Here are the top ten reasons to vote TheTNUK-o-ramaIncidentParty into absolute power:

1). I hereby pledge to wipe out utterly absolutely anything that stands in the way of PEEL, and PEELing.



2). I hereby pledge to make the day of our inaugaration an international holiday. It will (for that one day only, every year) be permissible to burn the leaders of TheTNUK-o-ramaIncidentParty in effigy. In fact, we may well make it mandatory for no reason.

3). The free sex on the International Health Service. Didn't anybody read that post?




4). I'll hunt down and kill with my bare hands the person responsible for "lol". Lol!

5). Everybody gets broadband. Downloading things instead of paying for them will not just be encouraged. It will be compulsory, in order to stop companies from making too much money. The government will instead pay artists an annual salary.

6). I'll make porn an optional subject in high schools.

7). I'll have surgery to reduce my hideousness to an acceptable level.




8). I'll also have surgery performed on other hideous people in order to make society a little more easy on the eye.

9). The eradication of poodles will take us one step closer to the world of Futurama.




10). I'll stop hitting my grandma in the face. Honestly. I'll be far too busy doing other things.

There you have it. I'll bet some of you wish that you could re-cast your vote now...

Woah. We have a nice sized lead.

And don't worry Halofans. IT will be available on PC, PS2, and GC for everyone to enjoy.

I have to go with the TNUK-O-Rama-Incident party... I mean at least they have a platform that appeals to me, the working man.

Runners up would have been Nix or TMC (why the hell didn't they team up anyways?  Oh well a split vote is a good vote for TNUK-O-Rama-Incident).  I could see myself voting M0le too, but I'm not.  Also whenever we have a Magical Fairy Princess poll, Mango is way up there on consideration.

And who the hell would vote for nasty and whoop?  No one, that's who (everyone who voted for them is officially no one... it's true)