Futurama: Poetry Thread

Blackadder11

Starship Captain

« Reply #320 on: 10-21-2004 18:40 »
« Last Edit on: 10-21-2004 18:40 »

Just a little song I thought up because we had a civil rights presentation to give in Social Studies, although I'm to scared to actually go through with singing it in front of the class.

The Ku Klux Klan song
(Sung to the tune of “The Muffin Man”)

Do you know the Ku Klux Klan?
The Ku Klux Klan?
The Ku Klux Klan?
Gonna save you from an evil black man,
And Make him go away!

Gonna burn a cross to light the way!
Light the way!
Light the way!
Gonna burn a cross to light the way,
And we love rainbows and smiles!

We wear white robes cause angels do too!
Angels do too!
Angels do too!
We wear white robes cause angels do too,
Now let’s give each other hugs!

And now you know the Ku Klux Klan!
The Ku Klux Klan!
The Ku Klux Klan!
And now you know the Ku Klux Klan,
From the land of Gumdrop Flowers!

TOTPD

(Too lazy to get a dance animation thingy)

RavenStar

Professor

« Reply #321 on: 10-21-2004 22:47 »
« Last Edit on: 10-21-2004 22:47 »

Blackadder: I'd ask the black people in your class if they would be offended, but you can go ahead and just sing it out. One of my friends got in trouble for something during my first comedy class in high school - this was with the old drama teacher who was a bitch - and she agreed to let him apologize to the class with a poem. Sufficient to say, it ended with "And let's do it the butt." He got in more trouble, but it was so worth it.

BTW, that's really funny.
--------------------------------------------

Onto me now: Well, I did it! My attention-whoring ass did it! I wrote another song during PHL 210! And it's only semi-depressing! Probly' cuz it's getting close to the weekend, and I'm usually happy during the weekends...anyway, here it is:

Flower Vague Trial
The Jasmine blooms in the night
When I'm away
Glooming into myself, I see
Me falling aside
Now when I fall between
The cracks of my life
I see myself fighting
To stay alive
My eyes, they see
No love in my heart
Now why could that be?
Where has it gone?
Oh, wait, now I remember:
It was never there
I haven't truly been in love yet
Though it's not that I've tried
Instead, I've stuck myself with a crush
That i cannot rid myself of
And now I've lost myself
Within soci-ety that surrounds me
Spi-raling around myself, I find
That I've gone blind
Now when this energy
Flows into my heart,
I cannot use any of it,
For I have no love to start
The engine running
To power my life
Will there ever be a chance for love with me?
I guess out we'll find
When the skies turn grey,
And the rains pour down,
My hope washes away,
And my heart flows down
The river of blood
Roiling out of the clouds
My life falls down
Is there any hope of love for me?
Right now, it looks like not
I guess I should keep my hopes up,
Even when they're shot
The bullets slice my eyes,
They break out of my heart
I can see, though blind,
Where I need to start
The Jasmine blooms at night
When I'm away
Is there any hope of love for me at all?
I cannot say
I looks most likely like
It's far away
But even though my body has died,
My soul lives on
And even though it looks like there's no love for me,
I can't curl up and cry
I know that love for me,
Probably will happen
Yet at the moment,
It looks
Like it won't happen at all.

transgender nerd under canada

DOOP Ubersecretary

« Reply #322 on: 10-21-2004 23:11 »
« Last Edit on: 10-26-2004 00:00 by totalnerduk »

I'm writing decent stuff again! The fifth poem in the Hellmen Trilogy! Oh, this is a long one!

The Hellmen Reborn

I cowered before his devil-dancing eyes,
And shrank back from his demon-pointed teeth,
Glistening above, dark with blood beneath,
His very face seemed full of wicked lies,
From high, smooth brow of horns,
To bristled chin bedecked with thorns.

He lowered his awful face to meet with mine,
He spoke in words of blood and smoke and doom,
Words that echoed deeply in the vaulted room,
“YOU DIE TONIGHT, AND WITH YOU DIES YOUR LINE,
YOUR BLOOD SHALL SPILL AS’T MUST,
TO RAISE MY SOLDIERS FROM THE DUST.”

His words chilled me with deepest darkest dread,
His glowing pupils burned the air around,
His long and bony height did size confound,
His horned and booted feet both dwarfed my head,
His foul breath clogged my throat and burned my nose,
And were those scales I saw beneath his clothes?

This monster vile was not the Lord of Hell,
No, nor was he some mighty Demon King,
This evil wraith was quite another thing,
The Master of the Hellmen – come to swell
His ranks once more by raising his dead hordes,
Creatures grim long dead to unknown swords.

I rose to look this mad thing in the eyes,
And was amazed to see the creature flinch,
As though responding to a painful pinch,
And shrink a little from his giant size,
To inspire less terror and less awe,
As the beast’s true state I finally saw.

This Lord of ancient evils vile and vain,
This filthy remnant of a bygone age,
Wrapped in rags and quivering with rage,
This fearsome spectre of inhuman pain,
Was weak and lost and half deranged,
The fire in those eyes was stale and changed.

Although this fiend had meant to drain my blood,
In battle with him for my human soul,
I’d won with my defiance: whole,
And spilling not one drop of that living crimson flood,
Whilst he was grown diminished,
Power over me now finished.

The chamber ‘round we two grew pale and dim,
Before us both two giant gates appeared,
Leading to a place whose very sky I feared,
A dark dimension known as home to him,
Where sword-hilts pierced the stony soil,
And the clouds seemed to both freeze and boil.

With a violent thunder-crack of force,
The vaulted room was gone and we were through,
The gates swung shut behind and vanished too,
Before us lay the dead bones of a horse,
Beyond them lay a mansion deader still,
Brooding silently as though to do some ill.

The fiend spoke up once more, and drew his blade,
Passing me its twin he roared out loud,
“THIS NIGHT I’LL QUENCH THE THIRSTING OF A CROWD,
WITH YOUR BLOOD THIS CURSED GROUND WILL BE PAID!”
He lunged and stabbed but was too slow and dull,
His blade pierced only air – mine speared him full.

The death cry of the Hellmen’s King was long,
He withered slowly as his blood flowed forth,
Like poisoned smoke it seeped into the earth,
Ceasing as his howling ceased its song,
And raising up an army from their sleep,
Bones knitted from shadows wide and deep.

With no King there for these Hellmen to hail,
They turned to me and moved swiftly as one,
Bowing at the knee they shivered and were gone,
Then reforming with a chilling wail,
They crowned me King together in their tomb,
As around me grew the dead King’s room.

The vaulted ceiling blotted out the sky,
The cold tiles replaced dust beneath my feet,
The bitter wind became a stagnant heat,
And through this entire process there stood I,
The newest Chief of Darkness with my horde,
Bowing still before my shining sword.

Beware the deep abyss the wise men say,
Look not too long inside lest it look back,
Kill not the beast lest your heart should turn black,
And don’t seek after power in any way,
For I’ve become the one who sought to slay me,
And I now take my evil duties very gravely.

Anybody think that this is a good finish to the cycle? Anybody got anymore questions on the motivation/origin of the Hellmen (they may provide the inspiration needed for another one)?
Also, anybody got any feedback for me on the cycle so far as a whole? I'm interested to know if this is just my own deranged mind saying things to itself, or if people are thinking "ooh, Hellmen!"

RavenStar

Professor

« Reply #323 on: 10-22-2004 13:53 »
« Last Edit on: 10-22-2004 13:53 »

New semi-ancient-old-school poem (just need to write one more of these or another song before the day's out, and I have my Monday-Friday record of having written at least two songs or poems per day, every day, for the whole weekdays!):

Scar Grateful Monarch
The winds howling in the nightfall air,
The rains flowing like wine
The darkness covered the land set bare
By the cowardice of the lion's wrath
A fool, was I,
To rush on by,
To sever the jugular of the beast
For from the pool of blood
That sprung from the wound
Came forth a sickening wreath
From its needles were borne
The eyes of its scorn
Forever dooming my blood in Love's sweet arms,
Heavy as though they may be
This curse o'er my heart
Persists to this day,
And I fear I shall never be freed
Oh, how I rue the day
When bespake my name
Did that cursed demon dare do
That poison of his mane
Haunts now my pain
Toying with the feelings I hold inside
The bane of mine,
The monster's cyanide,
Drowned, has it,
Any chance of love I've ever had
But despair not, do I,
For I know eventually
I shall be able to break the spell
This curse put upon me
Has also been my blessing
For forced, has it, me,
To engage my own soul,
Correct my failings-
Both of character, and King
I now take heed
And hear out the pleas
Of my people who wish for change
`Twas it not so before,
Where citizens who dared deplore
Found hanging their feet
Ere the conclusion of their thoughts
So while this curse stings my heart,
I hold no grudge on my part,
Towards the animal from whence it came
After the curse was placed
Did I realize I had slain
A wond'rous, kind, most gentle creature
My partners for the hunt,
Wished to cook it for brunch,
But stay back did I bade them do
I may never see
My heart's true desires reached
I may never see
My kingdom with a Queen
But that, do I care not of at all,
Respect for thy beast, always have, I shall
Some ask me why
I dare respect such a thing,
When it wretchedly cursed my life so
I respond to them: "How?"
"How must I be the one judging fair?"
"I implore you, recall - `twas it we who invaded his lair!"
And thus, while this curse
Has prevented me an heir,
It still matters not to me at all,
As I gaze out my window
Watching the grey night fall,
And hearing the wolf in the wind
Snap at the trees,
And howl lonely towards the Moon.

SlaytanicMaggot
Professor

« Reply #324 on: 10-22-2004 18:23 »

go RavenStar! nice poem...

Speli

Urban Legend

« Reply #325 on: 10-22-2004 18:24 »

Stop complementing yourself!

RavenStar

Professor

« Reply #326 on: 10-22-2004 18:35 »
« Last Edit on: 10-25-2004 00:00 »

And now I've done it! At least two songs/poems per day, every day, since monday!

This an all screaming-song, so it's all gonna be in small text save the title.

Superficial Injury
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME OUT!
PAIN! - NO LOVE FOR ME!
PAIN! - NO LOVE FOR ME!
PAIN! - NO LOVE FOR ME!
WILL LOVE EVER FIND ME OUT?!?!?

I KNOW WHY I FEEL THIS WAY INSIDE!
I KNOW WHY I FEEL SO FUCKING EMPTY!
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR FAR TOO LONG!
ALL FOR LOVE TO COME ALONG! - BUT IT HASN'T!!!
AND NOW I'M IN:

PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
IS THERE ANY HOPE OF LOVE FOR ME?!?
PAIN! - NO LOVE FOR ME!
PAIN! - NO LOVE FOR ME!
PAIN! - NO LOVE FOR ME!
WILL I EVER FIND WHO'S RIGHT FOR ME?!?
WHO'S RIGHT FOR ME?!?
WHO'S RIGHT FOR ME?!?
WILL I EVER FIND WHO'S RIGHT FOR ME?!?

I KNOW WHY I FEEL THIS WAY INSIDE!
I KNOW WHY MY HEART FUCKING ACHES!
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR FARO TOO LONG!
ALL FOR LOVE TO COME ALONG! - BUT IT HASN'T!!!
AND NOW I'M IN
PAINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ohhh, PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
WILL I EVER FIND WHO'S RIGHT FOR ME?!?

Zmithy

Professor

« Reply #327 on: 10-22-2004 18:37 »

Sing it! Scream it! I wanna hear it!

Futurama Nerd

Professor

« Reply #328 on: 10-22-2004 23:11 »

Well,here it goes.

Secerts

Happy,energetic,joyful.
That's what they see,
Don't think I have secrets,
Don't think I have fears,
Some friends are they.

Michelle tells me her secret,
Amber tells hers,
Both of them hate another friend secretly,
Scared it will change our friendship,
Have to tell the others,
I can't, I promised.

One I can trust,
One I'm not sure,
Is Elisa lying?
Seems like it.
Even thought she says no,
I can see it once and awhile.
Swetha I can trust,
But is this also fake?
Is it all fake?

In the end,
I fake it.
Think my life is good,
Think again.

Mango

Starship Captain

« Reply #329 on: 10-22-2004 23:13 »

There once was a girl named Fran.
She lived in a frying pan.
She got burnt on the stove
So she moved to a grove
And lived happily in her new land.

canned eggs

Space Pope

« Reply #330 on: 10-22-2004 23:19 »

That reminds me of some alternate lyrics we used to sing to the Popeye theme when I was a kid.

TheLampIncident

Urban Legend

« Reply #331 on: 10-22-2004 23:32 »
« Last Edit on: 10-22-2004 23:32 »

Inspired by the "John Basedow fucks animals" song.

My credit card got cut in half with an erect penis the size of a 9V battery. It then reformed and ate my daughter. She screamed for six days, nine hours, twelve minutes, and forty-three seconds. Then she died. Marshmallows were served.

And I just made that up on the spot.

Edited for a spelling error

canned eggs

Space Pope

« Reply #332 on: 10-23-2004 01:24 »

Awful.

DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary

« Reply #333 on: 10-23-2004 01:48 »

I've seen worse.

RavenStar

Professor

« Reply #334 on: 10-25-2004 23:24 »

DARK semi-old school poem written today:

Homer's Abraham
Silent steps
Fall heavy on thy ground
One waits
Upon sacred vow
Ancient days, now they seem,
Did swear he to uphold
Such a wretched oath of allegiance
Nevertheless, swear an oath, did he
Bound to his word, must he
See it through to completion
For even though thy Gods may disagree,
Even mighty Zeus must keep to his word
Does it not matter what state be he in,
An oath upon thy sword must be heeded,
No matter how terrible thy pledge
Through a river of tears,
Does he prepare thy altar
Whilst sad drops fall from his eyes,
Thy weeping man draws his sword on high
A cry of anguish sweeps throughout thy lands
As carried out is thy wicked deed
Sobbing, thy man falls to his knees
Before any can react,
Thy dagger hath flashed,
And all who watch are stunned.
A city looks on
As their beloved King
Greets with arms of tired bone
His son - Thy newborn babe
Freshly impaled upon thy stone.

TheLampIncident

Urban Legend

« Reply #335 on: 10-25-2004 23:30 »

Quote

Originally posted by canned eggs:
Awful.

Of course it was awful. I was making fun of all those stupid bands like the Locust who write crappy lyrics like that. It wasn't meant to be good...was kind of funny though.

If you want something truly stupid, here's something I wrote three years ago.

Hey everybody, let's go to the zoo
We can go to the gift shops and look at animals too
Yes the animals are why we're here
And in them I will breed some fear

Cause we're gonna steal the animals
Cook them up
Then eat them for dinner
Please pass the urine cup

I like the little furry things
And I'm in the mood for some badger wings
Hope the monkeys like to die
Cause I'm gonna make some monkey pie

After we eat the animals
We'll save their little bones
And show them to everybody
Just to make them groan

Let's reassemble the skeleton
It sure beats a toy model
Let's get all the work done
You all know that's my motto

The thing that pisses me off about this is that at the time I thought it was good. What the hell was I thinking?

transgender nerd under canada

DOOP Ubersecretary

« Reply #336 on: 10-25-2004 23:33 »

Hahahaha! It's fun for a cheap laugh, although there's some very bad poetry going on.

Nerd-o-rama

Urban Legend

« Reply #337 on: 10-25-2004 23:41 »

Japanese Haiku
The shortest poems ever
I'm already done

transgender nerd under canada

DOOP Ubersecretary

« Reply #338 on: 10-25-2004 23:44 »

Somebody spamming
The poetry thread up
What can we do?

canned eggs

Space Pope

« Reply #339 on: 10-25-2004 23:47 »

Lamp, I fucking love that! It rocks! But your grind pastiche was not up to John Basedow standards. The whole deal with writing a good grind song is; you have to come up with something that is best said packed into a few words, but is still really important to say. Like "you suffer, but why?" People need to know that John Basedow is an evil motherfucker who has intercourse with animals and uses his video to cause birth defects.

TheLampIncident

Urban Legend

« Reply #340 on: 10-25-2004 23:50 »
« Last Edit on: 10-25-2004 23:50 »

You know, I actually made my own version of that John Basedow song. If someone wants to host it for me I can send it to you, since you don't have an email address up, or AIM or anything. I won't steal the lyrics from you though, this was for my own personal use.

So basically, I should write something like...

Using the word cunt could get you banned from a message board. When I found out, I vomited testicles.

Edit: You know, I also posted that John Basedow thing on the board for the site I write reviews for(which is why I always post links in the Music Reviews thread), and the admin said to me "Ironically, that's exactly what the birthday card I received when I turned seven said." Hahaha...

canned eggs

Space Pope

« Reply #341 on: 10-25-2004 23:52 »
« Last Edit on: 10-26-2004 00:00 »

if it's less than 5 megs you could email it to [secret email address]. I haven't recorded my version yet, but we might next week.

Margarita

Space Pope

« Reply #342 on: 10-26-2004 00:07 »

Quote

Originally posted by RavenStar:
Superficial Injury
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME OUT!
PAIN! - NO LOVE FOR ME!
PAIN! - NO LOVE FOR ME!
PAIN! - NO LOVE FOR ME!
WILL LOVE EVER FIND ME OUT?!?!?

I KNOW WHY I FEEL THIS WAY INSIDE!
I KNOW WHY I FEEL SO FUCKING EMPTY!
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR FAR TOO LONG!
ALL FOR LOVE TO COME ALONG! - BUT IT HASN'T!!!
AND NOW I'M IN:

PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
IS THERE ANY HOPE OF LOVE FOR ME?!?
PAIN! - NO LOVE FOR ME!
PAIN! - NO LOVE FOR ME!
PAIN! - NO LOVE FOR ME!
WILL I EVER FIND WHO'S RIGHT FOR ME?!?
WHO'S RIGHT FOR ME?!?
WHO'S RIGHT FOR ME?!?
WILL I EVER FIND WHO'S RIGHT FOR ME?!?

I KNOW WHY I FEEL THIS WAY INSIDE!
I KNOW WHY MY HEART FUCKING ACHES!
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR FARO TOO LONG!
ALL FOR LOVE TO COME ALONG! - BUT IT HASN'T!!!
AND NOW I'M IN
PAINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ohhh, PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
PAIN! - I'M LONELY!
WILL I EVER FIND WHO'S RIGHT FOR ME?!?

if i saw this on LJ, i'd think the journal is fake because no one would write such obvious angsty lyrics. i unno, i just dont see it as a poem. i can write something like this too, observe:

I'M HUNGRY!!!
I'M HUNGRY!!!
NO FOOD FOR ME, WHY?!?!?!
I'M HUNGRY
I'M HUNGRY
HUNGERRRRRRRR

etc :P

Ben

Space Pope

« Reply #343 on: 10-26-2004 00:22 »

You're almost there, Marg. Needs more distorted guitar though.

Oh, and a DJ.

RavenStar

Professor

« Reply #344 on: 10-26-2004 00:30 »
« Last Edit on: 10-26-2004 00:30 »

EDIT: Marge, that's not a freakin' poem you quoted. I stated that that is a song.

Quote

Originally posted by TheLampIncident:
If you want something truly stupid, here's something I wrote three years ago.

Since Lamp has posted an old thing that he wrote, I figure "what the hell?" Here's 2 of some of the first songs I ever wrote: 1) my first "epic" song I ever wrote (3 pages long - with both sides of each page filled), "The Book of Struggles;" and 2) Another long song I wrote when I was still into rap-rock and Korn and Limp Bizkit, the truly awful and now hilarious-because-I-can't-believe-I-wrote-that "The Definition of White Trash."

The Book Of Struggles
I look up at the moon every night
And wonder just how I can win this fight
This battle inside me's been goin' for days
But for some reason I can't turn past the first page
I clear one hurdle with so much grace
Only to fall flat on my face
Right when I get to see the end
I run into another dead end
My brain tells me one thing
But my mind says another
Leaving me with my head in the gutter
And my body in the clouds
They all just crowd around
To watch me suffer
Every day it's tougher and tougher
To hide these feelings from the outside world
And while they're watching me
Do they even try to help me? NO!
They either fuckin' yell at
Or fuckin' make fun of me
Don't they realize the pain they're causin' me?
Don't they realize how much this hurts me inside?
Don't they realize I'm slippin' aw from `em?
No - they just bat their eyes
Now I'm asking for anyone
Now I'm asking for anybody
Now I'm asking for anyone
Now I'm asking for anybody
Now I'm asking for anyone
Now I'm asking for anybody
Now I'm asking for anyone.....
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEEEEAAAASSEEE!(5x)
PLEASE HELP ME,
PLEEEEAAAASSEEE!(3x)
PLEASE HELP ME!
Don't they realize what they've done?
Don't they realize they've had their fun?
Don't they realize I'm not there anymore?
Don't they realize....they don't care anymore.
I've tried so hard to let them know
But they could give a fuck about me
Just go on with their own fuckin' lives
Leaving me to stew in my own thoughts
And feelings of pain deep inside
I call for help from the outside
No one hears me, they must be blind
Why does this always happen to me?
It only adds to my hurt
Now I'm asking for anybody
Now I'm asking for anyone
Now I'm asking for anybody
Now I'm asking for anyone
Now I'm asking for anybody
Now I'm asking for anyone
Now I'm asking for anybody.....
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEEEEAAAASSEEE!(5x)
PLEASE HELP ME,
PLEEEEAAAASSEEE!(3x)
PLEASE HELP ME!
Don't they realize what they've done?
Don't they realize how they're fucking cold?
Don't they realize I'm human too?
Don't they realize....They have my soul.
Now please, I'm asking for anyone
Please, I'm asking for anybody
Please, I'm asking for anyone
Please, I'm asking for anybody
Please, I'm asking for anyone
Please, I'm asking for anybody
Please, please, please, please, please....
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEEEEAAAASSEEE!(5x)
PLEEEEAAAASSEEE!
PLEASE HELP ME!
Help me, I'm breaking inside!(6x)
PLEEEEAAAASSEEE!
PLEASE HELP ME!
PLEASE, JUST FUCKIN'
HELP ME!!!!!!!!!
Can't people see I have a heart?
Or do they just need one of their own?
I'm fighting a war I cannot win
No matter how hard i try
If I stand up for myself
I only end up getting crushed further
I'm breaking up inside
Picked on by everyone
Made fun of every day
Why do people do this to me?
Slowly, my rope frays
My ray of hope dims
`Till nothing is left but a speck of light
A cloud of gloom hangs over my shoulder
Why won't it all go away?
I wish I was invisible, cuz then I would be gone
Gone from the pain, gone from the pressure
Gone from the torture inside
But my head keeps spinning
And leaves my mind behind
And the attacks keep coming
Each one stronger in size
And the insults and expectations keep getting bigger
Until i become completely hollow
No one can hear me
Even though the volume's up to the max
This earthquake inside me
Is crumbling my foundation
And now it's about to go
Now I'm asking for anyone
Now I'm asking for anybody
Now I'm asking for anyone
Now I'm asking for anybody
Now I'm asking for anyone
Now I'm asking for anybody
Now I'm asking for anyone.....
Please, just help me survive.

---------------------------------------
The Definition of White Trash
I know shit when it comes to the game, whigga
But I know you should run when you hear my name, figure?
Better watch out, or I'll blast your ass with a Daisy Red Ryder
Then I'll finish it off wit' a Colt 45er
Fuck, you're slow, you left the safety on
Better look out, here comes a lead slug at yo' arm
Motherfuckers, tryin' to fight back with a knife
The only thing you've been able to hit is yo' wife

(Chorus)
Climb up on the van, pull out the A-K
Look up, look down, then blow your ass away
I don't give a fuck if you live or die
Cause' I'm a white boy goin' along for the ride

I'm gonna be in jail for 20-some years
But whiggas still can't touch me
Fo' they awash wit' fear
That as soon as I get out, I'ma come for them
Death in the form of a white boy, suburban
Tantalize yo' eyes fo' the Uzi Surprise
Oops, sorry, you got caught in the line
Fuckin' whigga, c'mon, try and step to this
Scared you'll end up on the obituary list
Wake up tha' next day, read in the paper
Your relatives gonna jump for joy `cuz they always hated ya
You shoulda seen thay my eyes were black
Sould my soul to the devil a while back
You try to survive by climbing the pecking order
I'll come around and leave yo' ass for slaughter
Not every day you see a teen with a glock
Huh, come around, drive-by on yo' block
Whigga, I'm suburban, and ya' still can't beat my ass
Next time I see ya', leave a boot mark in yo' back
I ain't scared of ya', you scared of me
Whigga I'll cap yo' ass wit' a .353
Hear that? Click Click Click
BAM BAM BAM!
Take that, ya' fuckin' prick!
(Chorus)
----------------------------------
Yes, you have permission to laugh your ass completely off at the second song if you feel like doing so - Hell, I'M laughing my ass off at it right now!

Margarita

Space Pope

« Reply #345 on: 10-26-2004 00:32 »

my point remains valid

transgender nerd under canada

DOOP Ubersecretary

« Reply #346 on: 10-26-2004 00:55 »
« Last Edit on: 10-26-2004 00:55 by totalnerduk »

The Hellmen are invading my brain. They won't stop! Here's a look at them in action:

The Hellmen’s Halloween

Slashing through the dark and dismal night,
Drenched with bitter rain and slick with gore,
Howling in full throat after their prey,
As their quarry rushes on in panicked flight,
Dark demon-men give chase and hunt once more.

The full moon rises in the violet sky,
Fat clouds conspire to blot the stars from view,
Evil gleams in each blood-slicked iron claw,
And glistens in each crimson demon-eye
As each one draws a sword to pay what’s due.

These creatures owe their ancient gods fresh blood,
And must this night spill blood upon the ground,
For this is Halloween, and devils stalk,
With nerves a-twitch with hate for what is good,
And restless hearts whose beat cannot be found.

With speed but without haste the horde advance,
Their marching boots together shake the land,
This is the sound of swift and certain doom,
From this all living creatures flee like ants,
And those running fear this is their final stand.

Gaining ground upon those whom they chase,
These spectres howl again with fell delight,
Rushing forth the slaughter to begin,
To tear the flesh from off each living face,
And satisfy the evils of this night.

They rush upon the hapless sacrifice,
To tear at throats with metal teeth and claws,
To unleash wicked swords on naked skin,
Both spilling blood and turning it to ice,
With sounds of warm flesh ripping in their jaws.

The hunted ones fight gamely when they’re caught,
But are no match against the Hellmen horde,
Their bones will rot and crumble over years,
As their lives come crashing thus to naught,
To feed the Hellmen and their hungry swords.

As the sound of slaughter hits its peak,
The ragged clouds disperse and dissipate,
The autumn moon illuminates the carnage,
As the ancient ones receive the debt they seek,
Yet still the shadow-men do not abate.

The killing carries on ‘till all are dead,
Only the undead warriors remain,
Then as the moon sinks in the lightening sky,
They flee the fields their killing has turned red,
And seek the sanctuary of their domain.

The horde have satisfied the gods they fear,
But the rampage of their bloodlust is not done,
They will be back for more another night,
Pray that’s not a victim’s dying scream you hear,
For you might be the evil horde’s next one.

This is the first clear glimpse we've had of the Hellmen doing what they do... and I think that that's probably a good thing. Thanks to all those who kissed my arse regarding the one before it. Yes, it was a decent one (for a change). I feel that I owe it to the thread to put a bit of effort in.

Edit: typo fixed. Fucking typo fairy. Gonna break its legs!

RavenStar

Professor

« Reply #347 on: 10-26-2004 01:44 »

Augury
Dark clouds
Sweep across thy lands
From thy vessels of doom
Pours burning demon rain
Anything this cursed water doth touch
Boils away, caught in the clutch
Of most agonizing pain
Vile, hatred weather,
Doth it spread across thy world
No one is safe
From thy villainous drops
Soon thy nightmare storm
Hath engulfed thy planet whole
This bitter hatred
Even thy Gods could not stop
Olympus has fallen,
Now thy plague spreads to thy stars
Thus begins the end.

winna

Avatar Czar
DOOP Ubersecretary

« Reply #348 on: 10-26-2004 01:52 »

I liked the whigga song. I was totally bitchin' out to that for awhile.

Nerd-o-rama

Urban Legend

« Reply #349 on: 10-26-2004 01:58 »

Quote

Originally posted by totalnerduk:
Somebody spamming
The poetry thread up
What can we do?

Explain to me how
Posting poetry is spam
In poetry threads.

I like Haiku, okay?* Just because my contribution is only 17 syllables long (as opposed to your possibly-correct-but-probably-not 15) doesn't make it spam. And as for the actual content? Yeah, it is something I came up with in about two minutes before Lit one day. But my friends thought it was alright and I thought I'd put it online maybe.

*And swordchucks

canned eggs

Space Pope

« Reply #350 on: 10-26-2004 13:26 »

Quote

Originally posted by TheLampIncident:
You know, I actually made my own version of that John Basedow song. If someone wants to host it for me I can send it to you, since you don't have an email address up, or AIM or anything. I won't steal the lyrics from you though, this was for my own personal use.

I got it. Dude, it was better than I expected. Awesome. I don't think anyone's ever covered one of my songs before. You gotta lay a drum track down behind it.

Mango

Starship Captain

« Reply #351 on: 10-26-2004 15:08 »

Oh okay you guys I wrote this one while waiting for my sleeping pill to kick in.
*ahem*

Violets are violet,
Roses are pink,
A giraffe lives in my kitchen sink.

canned eggs

Space Pope

« Reply #352 on: 10-26-2004 15:14 »

Roses are pink;
Violets are violet.
An Emu lives in Mango's toilet.

Jicannon

Urban Legend

« Reply #353 on: 10-26-2004 15:17 »

You liar I saw orange roses at the florist!

canned eggs

Space Pope

« Reply #354 on: 10-26-2004 15:22 »
« Last Edit on: 10-26-2004 15:22 »

Roses are orange;
Violets are dead.
Piranhas live in Mango's bed.

TheLampIncident

Urban Legend

« Reply #355 on: 10-26-2004 16:46 »

Quote

Originally posted by canned eggs:
I got it. Dude, it was better than I expected. Awesome. I don't think anyone's ever covered one of my songs before. You gotta lay a drum track down behind it.

If I could get a drum set and a 4-track, I would be all over that. Of course, maybe then I'd have to add drum tracks to all the other songs I made up on the spot which destroyed music, but what the hell.

RavenStar

Professor

« Reply #356 on: 10-26-2004 21:10 »
« Last Edit on: 10-26-2004 21:10 »

Damnit, I finished writing a poem that started out as another 'old-school' style poem, then it morphed into a poem about the characters Raven and Trigon the Terrible from "Teen Titans," and now I've decided to rip off tnuk and do a series of poems centered around Raven and Trigon and their story arcs and all the stuff that happens in the 80's comics....argh.

Anyway, here's that first poem of what hopefully will become a series of poems. This is actually not the first "chapter" in this, but will actually be like the 4th or 5th, once I get the others written:

The Chronicles of Raven - Chapter #(Undetermined): The Prophecy Lain
Darkened eyes
Shine beneath the death bloom's billow
`Twas it not the night that brought them down
No - rather, it was the ravenous ravens
Those monstrous crows
With the glistening beaks
Bathed and dripping in blood
Noisily, they feast,
Pecking endlessly at their quarry
The tearing sounds signal a warning:
Turn back...
Turn back...
Turn back...
Something unwanted has been unleashed
A Demon Lord with a Terrible tact,
Triangular his words - singular his attack
The embodiment of evil, anger, greed
Four eyes upon his head seek your souls for his need
Demonic avatars, his children-
Unborn seeds seek planting
The vessels he hath chosen
To carry out this iniquitous deed
Reside upon the planet
To which his delinquent daughter did flee
In time, the foolish girl
Will not herself be able to control
In time, shall she succumb
To the stronger power within her hold
In time, her birds will pave the way
For the Demon Lord to posess, control-
In time, thy young Raven
Shall become never more
Never more than a shadow
Of her former self,
Never more than a Demon's Slave,
How dare she fight herself
One day, the Demon Lord
Will appear on the oceans of Earth,
One day, the souls of this world
Shall rest upon new hearth
One day, this whole Universe,
This pathetic galaxy,
Shall feel the wrath of our Ruler-Lord-
Trigon the Terrible -
His name,
Doth it be.

------------------

FemJesse

Liquid Emperor

« Reply #357 on: 10-27-2004 13:53 »

I've decided that I'm pro gay marriage today because I want to hear songs by gay musicians singing about their lovers. After writing one, I must say that its about as obscene as many of the other songs in the genre. I break my rhyme scheme nearing the end, but the middle is trés golden. Without further ado
Gay Sex Gangster Rap
As performed by A.S.S. Invader

Wanna stick it in your ass
like my cock was made of glass
wanna see you bleed
wanna hear you plead...
Don't be bitter 'bout Invader
You can do it to me later.
Condoms; not a necessity,
Sodomy's not a pregnancy recipe...
If you can understand
I got my lube in my hand
And I don't need it on my dick
If you give Invader major licks
Then I'll toss the shit aside
And I'll toss your shit inside.
I'll do it to you hurty
Because I know you love the squirty.

We can do it doggy style,
then we can do it doggy style,
and after that we'll be wild,
and we'll do it doggy style.
Don't care about our asses tearin'
Or the huggies we'll be wearin'
I just want to sluice through the nasty poop juice
And tap that manly goose.

I want to suck your phallis
Want to drink you like a chalice-
By-the-time-that-I'm-done,
I-bet-you're-gonna-cum-
And I know it'll taste like candy,
Not really, but I'm randy.
Don't invite a friend,
Lets just you and me bend,
When its over we can switch
And do it again!

ZombieJesus

Lost Belgian
DOOP Secretary

« Reply #358 on: 10-27-2004 14:00 »

Call it Penis Envy

FemJesse

Liquid Emperor

« Reply #359 on: 10-27-2004 14:25 »

I'm celebrating homosexuality! I might be doing it in an un-PC way, but at least it will show straight people who stand up against it as a "human rights" issue. Rap music is already this bad... I've realized that the glamorization of gay sex couldn't be worse than the glamorization of hetero sodomy already is. So what's the problem? Why aren't there songs like this on the radio?

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