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Author
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Topic: 1000 Things to Learn
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bobbot
Bending Unit
 Since: Sep 2007
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posted 12-21-2007 01:22 |
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886. So are anchovies. (My first TOTP)[This message has been edited by bobbot (edited 12-22-2007).]
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seattlejohn01
Liquid Emperor
 
Since: May 2007
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posted 12-21-2007 02:08 |
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885: The anchovies disappeared at the exact same time that Zoidberg's people arrived on earth...but that's just a coincidence.884: If you stick metal in the microwave, things go to purple. 883: Decapodians can either have sex & die, or remain celibate. Dr. Zoidberg doesn't know which is better. 882: If Bender became human, he'd only have a couple of weeks to live.
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bend_her
Starship Captain
Since: Jun 2007
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posted 12-21-2007 03:13 |
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881. Anchovy oil, for some reason, is an excellent lubricant.880. Apparently in the future, there's a need for robots with one leg shorter than the other, a built-in crutch and an obviously fake British accent.
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zoiby
Starship Captain
Since: Feb 2006
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posted 12-21-2007 04:08 |
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879. blue has a smell878. Christmas is sposed to bring people together not blow them apart
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Bendersfan1221
Professor
 Since: Mar 2007
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posted 12-21-2007 06:52 |
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877. Angry Norwegian Brand Anchovies can last over a thousand years in a can and still be edible.876. There is apparently a need for Hedonism-bot though we don't know what. 875. Slurm is so addictive that even when you are seeing exactly how it's made you still drink it. Even as you see the stuff coming put of a colossal worm hiney. 874. Instead of dying old people are taken to the Near Death Star.
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tyraniak
Urban Legend
  
Since: Aug 2005
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posted 12-21-2007 13:25 |
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873. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solves any thing
872. If you're gonna deliver a package to the sun, you've got to do it your self
871. There were commies in the American Revolution
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bend_her
Starship Captain
Since: Jun 2007
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posted 12-21-2007 13:28 |
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870. All videotapes got erased in 2443869. You can always retire to the Angry Dome to cool off. 868. Spam is still a problem in the 30th century. 867. Gargoyles go to college too. 866. Due to increasing educational standards, 20th century college is equivalent to 30th century high school. 865. All Nobel prize fields pay the same.
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Bigboysdontcry
Bending Unit
Since: Dec 2006
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posted 12-21-2007 16:18 |
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864. Its cheaper to genetically engineer valentine bears and then kill and stuff them
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Frisco17
Liquid Emperor
Since: Aug 2005
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posted 12-21-2007 21:13 |
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863: Letters like "U" and "R" can mean words like "you" and "are".862: Never smoke at a gas station. 861: If you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all. 860: If someone you love doesn't love you back, try blowing yourself up. 859: Snowmen can be armed with M1 Garands.
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Bendersfan1221
Professor
Since: Mar 2007
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posted 12-21-2007 21:29 |
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858. Lovey bears are stuffed with fire retardant love fluff.857. If you drop cany hearts in to a firey Quazar, a mystical love radiation will got through out the universe destrying many planets including 2 cowboy worlds and a gangster planet. 856. Only the Earth will be the right distance away from the Quazar to see the love radiation but not get hurt by it. 855. You can Super-Size your normal healthy baby for $.49 at Taco Bellvue hospital.
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km73
Starship Captain
Since: Aug 2007
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posted 12-21-2007 21:35 |
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854: Bender's name isn't "Bonder". 853: Helper isn't very helpful. 852: Smoke with care around priceless silk collections.
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soylentOrange
Liquid Emperor
Since: Sep 2005
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posted 12-21-2007 22:03 |
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851: a dating service is alot like pimping, except you rarely have to use the phrase 'upside your head'850: the tooth fairy is qualified to be head of the FBI [This message has been edited by soylentOrange (edited 12-21-2007).]
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Decapodian
Liquid Emperor
Since: Nov 2006
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posted 12-21-2007 23:23 |
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849: The Bible is the real good news.848: There is a universe which is full of women. 847: Pacman is also an oil-eating bacteria. 846: Robot's can stretch their arms much longer than is physically possible. 845: The laws of physics do not apply to how many things Bender can stick in his chest cabinet. 844: Turtles have a tough outer shell but lead rich inner lives.
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Bendersfan1221
Professor
Since: Mar 2007
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posted 12-21-2007 23:41 |
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843. It possible to make the unverse revolve around a space ship.842. Atlanta is/ will become a sunken city. 841. Nothing is impossible! Not if you can imagine it. 840. The caffine in Coca-Cola speeds up the process of becomeing amermaid/merman. (Why aren't I one already?) 839. You can become a superhero from miracle cream. 838. You can play the holophoner as long as you don't have what Mrs. Mellenger calls stupid fingers. 837. Nobody doesn't like Molten Boron! 836. Robo-Rooter can also help with impacted bowels. 835. The Beastie boys bust mad rhymes with an 80% success rate and have 7 albums. [This message has been edited by Bendersfan1221 (edited 12-21-2007).]
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zoiby
Starship Captain
Since: Feb 2006
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posted 12-22-2007 07:52 |
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834. Robbo puppy is a robots best friend833. Acting like a moron wont bring your dog back 832. you can solve all your problems by freezing them 831. LAVA HOT
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Naxon
Bending Unit
Since: Mar 2006
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posted 12-22-2007 09:10 |
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830. Peace rings have them trapped like a tiger in a washing machine.829. A Scooty-Puff. Sr. is more reliable than a Scooty-Puff. Jr.
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Bendersfan1221
Professor
Since: Mar 2007
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posted 12-22-2007 10:19 |
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828. You can get mail order degrees in Murderonomy and Muderology.827. If Zoidberg is your doctor: Run away fast. 826. The Huge Brain killed the dinos not a meteor.
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bobbot
Bending Unit
Since: Sep 2007
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posted 12-22-2007 11:00 |
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825. For truly personal correspondence use your own ink.
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tyraniak
Urban Legend
Since: Aug 2005
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posted 12-22-2007 17:18 |
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824. You can get a super small slurm for $0.25 less
823. Eating hippies can make you sick
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Bendersfan1221
Professor
Since: Mar 2007
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posted 12-22-2007 18:33 |
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821. Peacocks are beautiful but you still don't eat them 'til they're cooked.
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seattlejohn01
Liquid Emperor
Since: May 2007
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posted 12-22-2007 18:50 |
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820: If you hear the noise "WOOOOO!", it's bender taunting you about your sexuality when you're about to lose your lower horn, the crowd at an ape fight or a gigantic fat person has just died & they're moving him.
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tyraniak
Urban Legend
Since: Aug 2005
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posted 12-23-2007 14:07 |
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819. Electro Gonorhea is a noisy killer
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Trombonist
Starship Captain
Since: Dec 2006
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posted 12-23-2007 15:06 |
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818. The Dave Mathews Band does not rock.817. Every religion is wrong!
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Bendersfan1221
Professor
Since: Mar 2007
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posted 12-23-2007 15:35 |
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816. Robot can get cancer.815. Never and I mean NEVER eat Bender's cooking unless he's put "Confidence" in it or if you want to die by your stomache exploding. 814. Bender's "confidence" is water and LSD so you'll be too drugged up to notice how bad the food. 813. All of Santa's elves (Or Neptunians) are gay. 812. Santa lives in a death Fortress. 811. Said Death Fortress is located on the North Pole of Neptune. 810. Santa is a robot. [This message has been edited by Bendersfan1221 (edited 12-23-2007).]
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km73
Starship Captain
Since: Aug 2007
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posted 12-23-2007 17:32 |
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quote:
Originally posted by Bendersfan1221:
821. Peacocks are beautiful but you still don't eat them 'til they're cooked.
Superb one. 809: Milwaukee is the most romantic city on Earth, sure it is.
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tyraniak
Urban Legend
Since: Aug 2005
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posted 12-23-2007 17:55 |
IP: Logged |
808. Most artistic masterpieces are tattooed on fat guys
807. Lassie is on display in the Louvre
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PhilipJ.FryFan
Delivery Boy
Since: Aug 2007
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posted 12-23-2007 18:12 |
IP: Logged |
806: An Angry, Crotchety Grandpa Discount Card lasts for a lifetime.805: No beer till you finish your tequila!
[This message has been edited by PhilipJ.FryFan (edited 12-23-2007).]
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Decapodian
Liquid Emperor
Since: Nov 2006
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posted 12-23-2007 23:49 |
IP: Logged |
804: Not only is it possible that a fat man in a singlet will always have a job, it is almost certain.803: Jupiter smells like strawberries 802: Uranus is now named Urectum 801: The only thing with same size, mass and consistency of a giant ball of 20th Century garbage is a giant ball of 31st Century garbage. 800: Oh, you're that Bubblegum Tate!
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seattlejohn01
Liquid Emperor
Since: May 2007
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posted 12-24-2007 01:16 |
IP: Logged |
799: Beavers mate for life798: Postage stamp glue is made of toad mucous 797: Leela does not have "The Will of The Warrior"
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Vanguard20
Delivery Boy
Since: Oct 2007
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posted 12-24-2007 07:40 |
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796 11 is greater than four.795 FOR QUALITY CARPETS VISIT KAPLIN'S CARPET WEREHOUSE 794 Fox are morons. 793 The Gender Bender is a 'real toughie'
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i_c_weiner
Urban Legend
Since: Feb 2005
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posted 12-24-2007 10:41 |
IP: Logged |
792: The Head Museum is free on Tuesdays.
791: a^2 + b^2 > c^2
790: Don't check out another man's spronger. Ever.
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Bendersfan1221
Professor
Since: Mar 2007
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posted 12-24-2007 10:48 |
IP: Logged |
789. Saturn smells like pine needles.788. If you sleep while skiing you actually do better.
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bobbot
Bending Unit
Since: Sep 2007
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posted 12-24-2007 14:01 |
IP: Logged |
787. She must be the other.
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Frisco17
Liquid Emperor
Since: Aug 2005
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posted 12-24-2007 22:40 |
IP: Logged |
786: The only thing sadder than homeless robots it drowning puppies.785: Birds don't crawl. 784: Brannigan's Law is just like Brannigan's love hard and fast.
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Bendersfan1221
Professor
Since: Mar 2007
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posted 12-24-2007 22:42 |
IP: Logged |
783. Birds have been know to crawl.782. To access the interent you need a net suit and several years to get on to AOL. [This message has been edited by Bendersfan1221 (edited 12-24-2007).]
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km73
Starship Captain
Since: Aug 2007
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posted 12-24-2007 22:49 |
IP: Logged |
781 Everything tastes purple when Nibbler erases your memory780 The safety dance isn't all that safe 779 Dirt doesn't need luck
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Bendersfan1221
Professor
Since: Mar 2007
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posted 12-24-2007 23:10 |
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778. Fire indeed hot.
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KurtPikachu2001
Liquid Emperor
Since: Sep 2003
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posted 12-25-2007 16:19 |
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777: Do whatever it takes to please the Robot Mafia. Even if it means taking your friends as hostage!
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bend_her
Starship Captain
Since: Jun 2007
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posted 12-25-2007 18:14 |
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776: NNY still has a roach problem775: Sal's on loan from the Louvre 774: "When push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love, even if it's not a good idea" 773: The traditional Jamaican way to relax is with a warm glass of milk and a good night's sleep. 772: Completing a death transaction without filing a suicide and/or falling accident permit will get you posthumously demoted. 771: Being technically correct is the best form of correct.
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Bendersfan1221
Professor
Since: Mar 2007
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posted 12-25-2007 19:28 |
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770. Owls are the new rats.769. If you go to the sewars beware El Chupanibre. 768. If you see a cyclops do not assume he/she is an alien. Chances are equally good that the cyclops is a mutant. ------------------
Bender 1: I'm not sad because I finally found someone as great as me. It's like I always say, "Make new friends and keep the old. One is silver--"
Bender A: "And the other's gold." Fry/Leela ♥ I ♥ Chekov.
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