1000 Things We Have Learned From Futurama...

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1000. Keep your balance on chairs in cryogenic labs. Unless your life sucks anyway.
999. The sign says "Drink".
998. Aliens don't take over the earth. They just take normal jobs.

997. It takes 3 seconds to get to the moon.
996. ...but don't bother going, the only thing there is a cheap amusement park.
995. ...but the view of the Earth is still beautiful.

994. "Crazy Stairs" is, indeed, a real place to live. (Clearly I don't know the real name of the painting. But you know the one I mean…)
993. It is possible to shower in the chemical burn shower and dry one's hair with a rocket's engine. It is also rude.
992. Robots live in closet-sized rooms and have room-sized closets.

991. People wear retro rings sometimes because they're stupid and nobody wears them anymore.
990. Gaydar is actually a real thing - it's a small machine with a radar dish on it.
989. One pound of dark matter weighs a thousand pounds and can be used as fuel.

988. Blernsball is just like baseball. Except not.
987. There's a daily human hunt at five o'clock on Chapek 9.
986. Bender made up Robanukkah up to get out of work but it doesn't make it any less meaningful.

985. Ads get broadcast into people's dreams.
984. Anchovies are extinct.
983. If you have 43 cents in 1999, let it sit for a thousand years and you could be a billionaire!

982. I don't care if you just drank a slug saltier than a big heaping bowl of salt. If you're on a strange planet and you see a cold bottle of water sitting on a throne, right next to a bunch of signs with various warnings - do not drink it!!!
981. Watch walking through Little Neptune or you could be swindled out of your various body parts.
980. Leela does like Bender - specifically his in-your-face attitude.

quote:

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Originally posted by soylentOrange:
977: you can't travel faster than the speed of light, but if lightspeed is too slow, you can always just increase it.

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968: T.O.W. Missile > Mistletoe.

967: Hell really is in New Jersey.

966: If you see Zombie Jesus hide your VHS tapes.

949: Chaz is the mayor's aide.

948: Brains will leave Earth for no raisin.

945: Never ask Elzar to make a star.

944: Humans have easily injured knees.

943: When something happens always assume it's a space cow.

942: The word "underpants" is 40% funnier than the word "underwear".

938: Leonard Nimoy's head will acknowledge his participation in Star Trek only if tricked into it.

937: Don't ever lend money to Zoidberg; he'll invest in a really crappy movie.

936: Bender Should Not Be On TV!

935: Calculon got his "unholy ACTING TALENT!" in a deal with the Devil (Robot, that is).

933. Hailey's Comet is the only sufficent scource of ice cubes with out bugs in them.

932. There is no safer occupation than mining a comet wipping around at a million miles an hour.

931. Worms make you smarter.

930. Ed Begley Jr.'s electric motor is the most evil propulsion system ever conceived.

929. The windshield wipers from the car that played Knight Rider were evil.

928. God is actually a computer that collided with god.

923: We now know what makes "special sauce" special.

922: Type-M planets at least have Roddenberries.

920: Snu Snu = Good!

917: Nibbler coughs up bigger hairballs than Fry

916: Torgo's Executive Powder has a Million and 1 uses.

914: Neither does killing people, beating up presidents and destroying military bases.

913: There was an alien in Roswell

914: That's no saucer, that's his ass!

913: Zoidberg has many redundant organs.

912: Duct tape is an effective and efficient way of stitching up wounds.

911: A robot can be completely hollow inside with no internal machineries but can still function.

910: People from under the yellow sun do this and people from under the red sun do this.

904: 3 things to say that frighten old people: Your social security check is late, stuff costs more than it used to, young people use curse words!

904: Bender was made in America's Heartland: Mexico!

903: Dr. Zoidberg is a doctor, but he lost his license...in a volcano.

902: French is a dead language.

896: Hitler's brain will still be entact in 1,000 years, despite the bullet.

895: Teddy Bear Junction is the worst scum hole in the galaxy.

894: The Swedes aren't as neutral as they seem.

893: Whenever satan appears, a song won't be far behind.

890. If you want to remember what happens in a brainspawn attack, go back in time and become your own grandparent.

889. Our notions of modesty are primative. It is normal to walk around naked.

888. There is a Univeresity on Mars.