Guy you've never heard of writes something mediocre!

[Reply #120 on:]

Just having one of those nights where I can't seem to get a single word on the paper...  Well, you know what they say, “When you have writer’s block, switch hobbies for a night.”  Or at least that’s what I say.  And when I was done, I realized I had to post it here...

If Futurama was only drama (1.4 Mb):
 http://www.audiostreet.net/newmedia/C3F3875DC08C4053A1D066E7C04D3E9A/Download/futur   ama2.mp3

EDIT:  Link's being a jerk.  Copy and paste it into the address bar.

EDIT EDIT:  Almost forgot the TOTPD.  Apparently, I brought my own music too...

[Reply #121 on:]

Oh, just the whole atmosphere of Motown. Jazz, dancin', voodoo....

I just used gumbo because it's a food from 'round those parts. There's nothing particularly sinful about gumbo. Unless, I dunno, you use chopped up people in it, or something.

Regarding that cat: Oh, NOW I get it!  ...sort of. Well, I get enough. Which ruins the joke for me, but I can appreciate what a clever bit of writing that was. Bravo!

[Reply #122 on:]

Woah, freaky simul-post. 

Sorry, I don't think the Motown joke got through.  Motown was a popular style of music (in the U.S.?) several decades ago, and one of the bands on the forefront of the fad was called
The Temptations.


They may be most famous for the song "My Girl"


That's the joke.  But glad I was able to help with the cat issue.

[Reply #123 on:]

NOW that my brain's started working again, I realise I've mentally blended Detroit and New Orleans into the same place. Which is silly, I know, but oh well.

And Motown did have some of the stuff I suggested...

But you're right, I completely missed 'The Temptations' reference, and now I feel all silly. Thanks for clearing all that up.   

[Reply #124 on:]

 

Originally posted by JBERGES:
Just having one of those nights where I can't seem to get a single word on the paper...  Well, you know what they say, “When you have writer’s block, switch hobbies for a night.”  Or at least that’s what I say.  And when I was done, I realized I had to post it here...

If Futurama was only drama (1.4 Mb):
 http://www.audiostreet.net/newmedia/C3F3875DC08C4053A1D066E7C04D3E9A/Download/futur    ama2.mp3

EDIT:  Link's being a jerk.  Copy and paste it into the address bar.

EDIT EDIT:  Almost forgot the TOTPD.  Apparently, I brought my own music too...

JBERGES it's official. I love you. Now move to orlando and marry me you hot stud man you!   

[Reply #125 on:]

No! Move to Orlando and marry ME!
It'll be a weird, sham marriage.. but a pretty one nonetheless.
Seriously though, that rocked.

[Reply #126 on:]

Couldn't hear the clip, but laughed my ass off at the Schrodinger's cat poem.
Go to Orlando and marry them. It's rainy here in New England.   

EDIT: adding a doodle I did today in Physics.

[Reply #127 on:]

That’s the most productive thing I’ve ever seen done in a Physics class. It is really cool Shaucker.  You quoted me wrong, but I actually like your phrasing of the joke better (goes and changes his script). 

Venus and EL:  I’m intrigued.  Orlando does sound fun, and in my opinion artsy/ morbid/ drama chicks are the coolest people in the world. 
Sigh… but… I have my own artsy/ morbid/ drama chick up here in NJ, as I just don’t have the heart to break up with her.  And EL, for some reason I just think there’d be something missing…  I know… it’s all so very sad, we could have had wonderful lives together.  Let’s not let this hurt our friendships. (tears/hugs/reconciliation)

Phew…those talks are always so hard…

Hey,  I do have some family near Ocala though.  That’s only like 1:30 from Orlando.  And remember, a spontaneous trip to Middleofnowhere NJ never hurt anyone.  (I need friends.) 

Ok… Ok… part 5.  Yeah… uh… how about by Friday night?
 

[Reply #128 on:]

Aww, you have a girlfriend. ^^ Lucky lucky! But seriously, come down and visit sometime! It's quite nice around, especially in October. Also that cat gave me nightmares.

[Reply #129 on:]

*sigh* figures that all the hot ones are already taken..

[Reply #130 on:]

I'm still availible!

*crickets chirp*

Oh yeah... hot ones...

[Reply #131 on:]

[Zoidberg] Don't worry Venus, you still have Zomit...You ALL still have Zomit! [/Zoidberg]

[Reply #132 on:]

     

Originally posted by Venus:
*sigh* figures that all the hot ones are already taken..

*Spit-take*   Wow, cajole me some more why don’t you?         Next you'll be saying you find computer science majors and people who compete in Dance Dance Revolution tournaments to be arousing.  (If you do, you are truly rare and awesome… and kinda weird).

Ok, now for part five.  This would be the “action sequence” part of the story, which is rather difficult to convey though a script, but I think it’s a decent effort.
____________________

Part 5

(iSpy finds his gun and dashes out of the room.  Meanwhile, Fry enters, just missing a fatal encounter.  He appears to have a sort of limp in his step as he notices Zoidberg in the cryo-chamber.)

Fry:  Waiter, I ordered the fresh lobster…haha!  Swish! (He looks around; no one was there to hear his joke)   Hey, where did everyone go?  (He disengages the cryo-tube)  Dr. Zoidberg, what’s going on?  I wanted to talk to Leela.

Zoidberg:  (recovering)  ooooooooh…It was horrible!  Time slowed down!  My whole life flashed before my eyes!  (Starts sobbing)   And it was depressing!!

Fry:  Get to the point!

Zoidberg: (wipes his eyes) Some robot is trying to kill Ignar already! 

Fry:  Oh no!  I have to do something!  (He exits)

Zoidberg (Sudden realization):  Oh no!  My precious Slinkies!  I spent all my money on them; now I must rescue them!  To the supply closet! (He boldly sets out, only to fall into iSpy’s entrance hole.  A faint ‘thud’ is heard)

(Meanwhile, Bender, Leela, Farnsworth, and Ignar converge on the PE ship)

Leela: Let’s go!  Let’s go!  Everyone on the ship!

(iSpy comes through the door, weapon drawn)

iSpy:  Freeze!  Surrender the child or face the consequences!

Bender:  Which are?

iSpy:  First, a warning shot.  Second, I will shoot the child.  Third, I will proceed to shoot the old man, and then fourth…

Bender (arrogant):  Alright already!  Geez!  For an assassin you’re pretty damn talkative!  I mean shouldn’t you at least-

iSpy (monotone):  Warning shot (he shoots Bender)

Bender: Ow! (resuming arrogance)  Is that the best you got?   …didn’t even make a hole in me!

Leela:  Shut up, Bender!

iSpy:  Time’s up!

(Cut to slow motion:  iSpy aims the gun at Ignar and puts his finger on the trigger.)

Bender (decelerated voice):  Nooooooooo!

(Slow motion: Bender starts a horizontal dive towards Ignar. Mid-flight, he grabs the Professor, and uses him as his human-shield while he is robot-shielding Ignar.  Leela looks appalled)

(Normal speed:  Bender and the Professor hit the ground hard)

Farnsworth:  Ow!  My further-broken ribs…

(No shot has been fired.  Camera cuts back to iSpy, who is now facing the other way, pointing the gun at Fry, who had been shambling up behind him with a metal pipe)

Fry:  (nervous laugh)  Uh…heh-heh… hi.

(iSpy aims the gun at Fry’s head)

Fry (panicked):  No, wait!  You don’t have to kill me!  I’m not even the one you’re looking for!

iSpy:  (brief chuckle)  How about a compromise?

(He aims the gun at Fry’s crotch and fires.  Fry is thrown backwards to the ground)

(Cut to the crew wincing in horror.  All except Ignar, conspicuously absent)

(Cut to Ignar, who has taken this opportunity to sprint away.  He heads down a hallway.  iSpy turns back around and notices)

iSpy:  Aww, damnit… (He follows Ignar down the hallway, firing randomly)

(Leela instinctively breaks into a sprint to follow iSpy, but halts herself and instead runs to Fry’s side, who is sprawled on the ground, the front of his pants singed black.)

Leela: (shaking him)  Fry!  Can you hear me?  Are you OK?

Fry (regaining wits):  aww…ow…uh…yeah.  Yeah… I think I’m OK.  (he puts his hand down his pants)

(Cut to Leela averting her eye)

PING!

(Leela looks back to see that Fry has removed a metal plate from the inside of his pants and dropped it to the ground)

Leela:  A crotch-shield?   But… but how did you know he was going to shoot you in the…(She thinks back to prior events,  has a realization)  Hey…wait a minute.  You wanted to tell me something…just what were you planning on saying this time?

Fry:  Uh… nothing flirtatious!  I swear!

Leela:  Oh…just forget it!

(She helps him up and they join Bender, who is carrying Farnsworth like a shield, down the hallway)

(Cut to iSpy, who has been banging on the supply closet door)

iSpy:  Get out of there!  If you give yourself up, I don’t have to kill you!

Ignar (timid):  No!

iSpy:  Fine then, the hard way it is...  (He begins shooting at the door.  The lock eventually gives way, and he enters the dimly lit closet) All right you little… what the hell?

(Camera pans to show iSpy is standing directly next to a large scrap metal bar.  This bar has one of Zoidberg’s metal Slinkies stretched around it, and to each end of the coil one of Farnsworth’s various lengths of wire is attached.  The camera follows these wires to the terminals of an industrial battery, recently taken out of its package.  A hand is grasping the “on/off” switch, and flips it on)

iSpy:  Nooooo!  (His head is yanked towards the end of the bar, sparks fly)

(Leela and the rest arrive at the supply closet)

Leela:  Ignar!  Ignar!  Are you OK?!  (She sees iSpy)  Oh my God…

(Bender quickly backs away)

Bender:  It’s that thing I saw in those dreams!  (He runs away)

Farnsworth: It’s a giant electromagnet!  But how did…

(Everyone looks at Ignar)

Ignar:  I… I stopped the bad metal man daddy!

Fry:  He’s just like MacGyver!

Leela:  I knew he wasn’t dumb!  He just has no social skills. 

Farnsworth:  No, no… I’d still say he’s pretty stupid…  but it looks like at least some of that mad-scientist gene kicked in.  (he looks content)

(Ignar turns the battery off, iSpy crumples to the ground, malfunctioning)

Leela:  I’m glad you’re safe, Ignar. (She gives him a hug)

(Ignar twitches very uncomfortably and whimpers while in Leela’s embrace)

Farnsworth:  Yes, safe… for now. 
_______________________

I think we're looking at one more part to wrap things up, unless I start writing a twist that gets out of hand, but I doubt that. 

EDIT:  Almost forgot my standard whoring for attention.  Please, please, if you're reading this, comment, critique and suggest.

P.S.  When I uploaded that song, the website said I could upload 2 more, so I figure what the hell.  Here's one:
 http://www.audiostreet.net/newmedia/7998D0D4B95346A1B34321857EFB44D5/Download/j6   4___trance.mp3
Yeah, it's trance. Copy and paste the link into the address bar if you're feeling daring

[Reply #133 on:]

Great story (like always), I want to find out how it ends. Hooray, I'm the first one to reply to this story. 

[Reply #134 on:]

Lovely! Wonderful as usual.. I love how you don't just repeat jokes for comedy, you use previous gags to build up your plot. You didn't just rewrite episode scripts, but you worked in the slinkies and wire as a device. Brilliant!
Notes: Hey, if you like DDR champs, gimme a call :wink!:
Also, I've been meaning to do fanart of this for some time.. I just wasn't sure what of!
And now...
 

(Ignar twitches very uncomfortably and whimpers while in Leela’s embrace)

I know. Gooood, that's cyute.

[Reply #135 on:]

 

Originally posted by JBERGES:
      *Spit-take*   Wow, cajole me some more why don’t you?           Next you'll be saying you find computer science majors and people who compete in Dance Dance Revolution tournaments to be arousing.  (If you do, you are truly rare and awesome… and kinda weird).

alas i don't find computer science dance revolutionars particualry arousing, however i also don't find them to be particualry non-arousing.

anyway, back on subject, i loved that! May there be many more fics in your future. And maybe more pretty music...if you have the time.

edit: just heard the new song. Wow, gorgeous. Is it based on another song or is it completely original?

[Reply #136 on:]

Great work JBERGES
Sorry to ruin the fun, but this quote from The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings is probably of interest to you.
 

Robot Devil: You hit a sour note about 200 years back Doug!

Wouldn't this make the Robot Devil more than 200 years old?

... or am I taking it too literally?
If so, them don't worry; if not, then maybe the professor radically upgraded him 90 years ago?

[Reply #137 on:]

Y'know, I don't think I can critique these properly... I just end up enjoying the things too damn much.
And I appreaciate the attention that you give to your sight gags... I've always loved slo-mo "Noooo!" dives, and you gave that one a very 'Bender' twist...
And once again, you slip 'good' science into one a story, which is a very Futurama things to do...
Which is what I like most about your scripts. They really are almost like lost eps.     

EDIT: Oh, this post is really far too sweet.
I guess I'll have to flame you for old times sake...
You, sir, have the, form, odour, counterance, and sexual prowess of a particularly dull witted mountain gorilla. Plus, you can pick up fairly easily and I hate you.

There, that oughta even things out.   

EDIT AGAIN: Alright, listened to that little song there, so this is what I have to say about it (bear in mind I have rather... limited... experience when it comes to music...)
It was rather pretty. It actually reminded me of some old videogame tracks (which, coming from me, is no insult... I could almost see the lil' spaceship... ). I like long, slow pieces, but that track seems to be just the thing for a quick little burst of calmness, which is all one can expect time for in this modern world, what with our busy timetables and, er, toasters...

[Reply #138 on:]

 

Originally posted by Birdbot:
Great work JBERGES
Sorry to ruin the fun, but this quote from The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings is probably of interest to you.
Robot Devil: You hit a sour note about 200 years back Doug!
Wouldn't this make the Robot Devil more than 200 years old?

... or am I taking it too literally?
If so, them don't worry; if not, then maybe the professor radically upgraded him 90 years ago?

Or maybe he's actually 100 years older than people think he is, but he hasn't told anyone about it and he forgot about it so he thinks he's 162 (or however old he is).

[Reply #139 on:]

(asuming "he" means the professor) Are you saying that in Clone Of My Own the Professor forgets that he actually took 100 or so years off, and thought he only took 10 off?  But what about that age-scanner in Teenage Mutant Leela Hurdles? Unless he invented a chip that he implanted in himself that lied to the age scanner. And anyway, it still doesn't solve JBERGES's problem (if it actually is a problem, maybe 200 years back is just an expression?)

[Reply #140 on:]

There's also the Fairness in Hell Act of 2275...

[Reply #141 on:]

JBERGES, just so you know, I took the Scary door beggining out of my first fic because I did rip you off, only a little but it was still a rip-off so it's gone now, finally. Also, great fics.

[Reply #142 on:]

To the issue at hand:

I based my writing on "Crimes of the Hot" in which Farnsworth states that all modern robots descend from his gas-guzzling model, built 75 years ago (about 2927).  I think the '200 years' was just an over exaggeration by the robot devil, seeing as that it’s impossible that they’d been playing for 200 straight years, seeing as Hell Is Other Robots occurred before TDHAIP.  Meanwhile, the Fairness in Hell Act of 2275 makes no sense to me whatsoever, as Robots were probably not autonomous at that time (almost 600 years before Farnsworth.  Remember, robots couldn’t even qualify for boat loans before Farnsworth came around) Hence, my argument is that there is a bit of ambiguity about the development of robotic technology in the Futurama universe.  Therefore, if I’m ‘wrong’, then so is at least one episode.
_________________________

G.T:  No worries, I was never angry at you anyway (for that particular event, that is  )

EL:  DDR, eh?  *high-five* 
   fanart, eh?  *high-five*
noticing my scrutiny into previous plot devices, eh? *not really a high-fiveable event*

SJM: I try to make my stuff as close to a Futurama episode as possible, so that means a lot.  And please continue to hate me, it makes for hilarious signatures.

Venus:  That song was completely original.  Glad you liked it.  Say the word and a full CD will be on its way to your door. (That goes for anyone else too)

Birdbot:  Don't think you're annoying me with your critiquing.  I appreciate a watchful eye out there, so thank you.

Zomit: Thanks for reading.  That was the most off the wall explanation I've ever heard...

[Reply #143 on:]

you are angry at me for something else? now Im interested, please inform me.

[Reply #144 on:]

I added a smiley face to what I said; I suppose the fact that I was kidding didn't transfer well in text form. I have nothing against you or your new avatar.  (Though I definitely don't agree with some of your opinions, we're all entitled to them.)

[Reply #145 on:]

Lateley Ive been dumb, so, yeah, but atleast someone doesnt hate me.

[Reply #146 on:]

 

Originally posted by JBERGES:
  Meanwhile, the Fairness in Hell Act of 2275 makes no sense to me whatsoever, as Robots were probably not autonomous at that time (almost 600 years before Farnsworth.  Remember, robots couldn’t even qualify for boat loans before Farnsworth came around)

maybe the fairness in hell act was originally written for human hell but was then changed to add in robot hell once such a thing existed.

Venus:  That song was completely original.  Glad you liked it.  Say the word and a full CD will be on its way to your door. (That goes for anyone else too)

word!

[Reply #147 on:]

Oh my god dude. JBERGES u have more talent than some of the futurama writers cough* Micheal Rowe *cough.
Ive been reading these since u started but i only just registered. Keep up the good work.
Oh and good job on the music as well, if u need a drummer, HELLOOO! 

[Reply #148 on:]

Shh, JBERGES...by saying our robots are stupid, you're just pissing off the Honda ASIMO more...I don't want a robot revolution on hand 

Although a Dance dance Revolution would be quite fun....

[Reply #149 on:]

:skwee: There are CDs full of your Trance-ness! Well, if a groupie might be so bold as to ask for one..? [Fanart's penciled, I'll finish it soon..]

[Reply #150 on:]

Well, we've got a fine writer and muscian... now, if he could just learn to perform the entire animation process by himself, JBERGES could be a one man new episode machine!

EDIT: Oh yes, here's a quote from Kefka for you:
"Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!
 Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!"

[Reply #151 on:]

   

Originally posted by SlackJawedMoron:
Well, we've got a fine writer and muscian... now, if he could just learn to perform the entire animation process by himself, JBERGES could be a one man new episode machine!

Sounds great!  But I've narrowed it down to one small problem.  I can’t hit Leela's high notes in her songs.  We can get around that though.  Ready team?
-----------------------
JBERGES:  Music, script, song lyrics, voices

EvilLunch: Animation, voices, innuendo consultant

Shaucker:  Animation, voices, science consultant

Venus: All singing, shippy consultant

SJM:  3D effects, voices, all other slave labor, comedic consultant

Birdbot:  Editor, proofreader, grammar consultant

Boingo:  Creative consultant, roadie

Zomit:  Gets us doughnuts

Guineapig Trick:  Gets Zomit doughnuts.

stateofmind: drummer?
--------------------------

Part six has been started, but has a long way to go.  I'm shooting for a weekend finale.


P.S.
Venus:  CD going your way tomorrow
EL:  CD held onto as per request

[Reply #152 on:]

hurray! i'm a singer!


edit: JBERGES, i posted those pics you and EvilLunch wanted. They're in the peel pics thread.

[Reply #153 on:]

Oh yeah? Well I'm a humour gimp!

*Put's on 'Commanche' by The Revels*

Awwwww yeah....

3D effects? Okay, but every 3D object is going to be a cube...

which gives me a great idea for an episode!

[Reply #154 on:]

Thanks, Venus! Chee, innuendo? I've got that in spades!

[Reply #155 on:]

JBERGES: I've never actually been bothered reading any of the fan-fiction (It's mostly all drama) but these fan-fics of yours are truly  !

[Reply #156 on:]

Ahhh, a fresh victim for our ever growing army of groupies...

Stick around M0le, and you'll be assigned some humiliating task before long.... 

[Reply #157 on:]

Yes, soon you'll be one of us...*starts walking towards M0le* One of us..One of us..One of us..One of us..One of us..One of us..One of us..

[Reply #158 on:]

wooo! Ive got another gig. Cant wait for part six. Now to go and put some wierd techno drums to youre song JBERGES. If i could get it on my comp then post it i would. Ahh, to be a know-it-all computer geek. 

[Reply #159 on:]

Yeah to science consulting! This is the only place that would ever hire me for that!