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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    "And in This Corner..." ...typed and ready to go. « previous next »
Author Topic: "And in This Corner..." ...typed and ready to go.  (Read 564 times)
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THM

Bending Unit
***
« on: 03-30-2004 16:36 »


This is just a quick announcement to say that I've finished typing my fic, "And in This Corner..." I'm looking for beta-readers. Any takers? Venus, I'm looking in your direction...  smile

'Naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies!'

- Justice Snoop Dogg, Into the Wild Green Yonder
newhook_1

Urban Legend
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« Reply #1 on: 03-30-2004 17:56 »
« Last Edit on: 04-04-2004 00:00 »

Sure, I'll read it. Send it to me at Superratbombs@hotmail.com
zoidyzoid

Professor
*
« Reply #2 on: 03-30-2004 20:55 »

I can't offer much creative input, but I'd be happy to proofread for you. My email is in my profile  smile
Venus

Urban Legend
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« Reply #3 on: 03-31-2004 00:34 »

Oh oh! Me! Venus'll do it!
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #4 on: 03-31-2004 02:35 »

E-Mail me, I'll pour over it.
SpaceCase

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #5 on: 03-31-2004 12:13 »

I'm always up for a new fanfic. If you're willing, e-mail me.
boingo2000

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #6 on: 03-31-2004 12:18 »

If you need yet another volunteer, I'll give it a shot.  Send it to the email in my profile.
THM

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #7 on: 03-31-2004 17:30 »

Cool. Gimme a couple of days, and I'll get my act together.
THM

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #8 on: 04-03-2004 19:50 »


OK; newhook_1, Venus, Boingo, Space Case, Zoidyzoid, Nurdbot, the fic should be in your inboxes now. Enjoy!

'Naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies!'

- Justice Snoop Dogg, Into the Wild Green Yonder
zoidyzoid

Professor
*
« Reply #9 on: 04-04-2004 06:20 »
« Last Edit on: 04-04-2004 06:20 »

   
Quote
Originally posted by THM:
OK; newhook_1, Venus, Boingo, Space Case, Zoidyzoid, Nurdbot, the fic should be in your inboxes now. Enjoy!

I did    big grin

Overall it's really good, and there are a couple of parts I particularly liked (especially some of the things Fry said about Zoidberg    laff ). I do have some constructive critisisms though- I'd like to send you an email giving some specific suggestions, and pointing out a few spelling and grammar errors. I won't write it straight away, but hopefully within a day or two. Anyway, here are a couple of things that I reckon need work.

Please note: the next part of this post may seem a bit negative, but please don't misconstrue- I genuinely like your piece of writing, these are just some suggestions to make it even better    smile

I think the style you wrote Fry's sections in is a bit... overdone, with too much casual slang, particularly all the words ending in "n'" (actually, too many apostrophies altogether), which makes him sound a bit too rough or dumb or something, and out of character. Also, the start of Leela's first section seems a bit over-angry about the little details, and personally I think it would be better without the part in the present tense with Leela flying the ship.

If it's OK with you I'd love to put up the finished work at my site    big grin

THM

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #10 on: 04-04-2004 18:19 »

Thanks for the help, zoidyzoid. I take it you'll answer the questions I included with the fic in the message?

'Naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies!'

- Justice Snoop Dogg, Into the Wild Green Yonder
zoidyzoid

Professor
*
« Reply #11 on: 04-04-2004 20:54 »

Yep, I've just sent the email.
THM

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #12 on: 04-08-2004 16:57 »


Spacecase, did you get the fic?

'Naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies!'

- Justice Snoop Dogg, Into the Wild Green Yonder
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #13 on: 04-08-2004 17:02 »

THM did you get my email? I just wanted to make sure cause i have had trouble emailing things to you in the past.
newhook_1

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #14 on: 04-08-2004 18:35 »

Did you get my email, too?
ActionLaPointe

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #15 on: 04-08-2004 22:23 »

send it to actionlapointe@hotmail.com if u want me to read it, cause ide probably like reading it myself
DrJohnZ

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #16 on: 04-08-2004 23:18 »

hey me too please, unless u have it on a web-site already, then link us up   big grin

When you do things right, people wont be sure you've done anything at all.
ooy

Professor
*
« Reply #17 on: 04-09-2004 03:28 »

i'll be glad to put it up on my website i need some fanfics, fast, anyone!
please! send your fanfics to futuramaooy@hotmail.com!
THM

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #18 on: 04-09-2004 16:44 »

Newhook_1, Venus, yes; I did get your emails, and thank you for your suggestions. I'm already at work on making the revisions. I'll probably send it out again for another read-through when they're done, so for everyone that've expressed interest interest since I sent out the first version, hold on, and you'll probably get a chance soon.

'Naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies!'

- Justice Snoop Dogg, Into the Wild Green Yonder
boingo2000

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #19 on: 04-09-2004 17:25 »

Cool.  I really enjoyed the first draft.  I have a few thoughts, but I haven't had time to put them in an email.  I think now I'm gonna hold off until I get your revisions.
zoidyzoid

Professor
*
« Reply #20 on: 04-10-2004 03:13 »

Just checking, you got my email too, yeah?
Also, please send me the next version when you've finished it  smile
THM

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #21 on: 04-27-2004 16:41 »


Okay, I'm back from vacation. I'll send the revised edition out fairly soon.
THM

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #22 on: 06-20-2004 12:18 »


It's been...youch, far too long since I posted to this thread. The new version of "And in This Corner..." is ready to go, and I have sent it out. So everyone that reviewed it the first time, and those that've volunteered since then, it should be in your inboxes now. If it isn't, don't hesitate to send me a message.

Thanks again!

'Naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies!'

- Justice Snoop Dogg, Into the Wild Green Yonder
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #23 on: 06-20-2004 15:08 »

I wondered what it was. I'll read it tommorow, I'll have time. Between PEEL Fiction and FH.
THM

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #24 on: 06-20-2004 17:56 »

'ppreciate it, man. Every little bit helps! ^_^
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #25 on: 06-21-2004 02:26 »

You can send one my way...
bender+fry

Professor
*
« Reply #26 on: 06-21-2004 21:06 »

And one here...
THM

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #27 on: 06-22-2004 18:29 »


Kryten, bender&fry, it's on its way. Enjoy!

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to draw the line there - otherwise, I'll be swamped with good criticism!     big grin

'Naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies!'

- Justice Snoop Dogg, Into the Wild Green Yonder
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« Reply #28 on: 06-22-2004 20:44 »

Sounds like fun, I like reading fan fic. But there's always so much that I never read all the ones I want to  frown . I must be depressed today.
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #29 on: 06-23-2004 16:09 »

I can't really think of any changes I'd make.
gottalovebender

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #30 on: 06-23-2004 16:35 »

these reviews are really making me curious, if you could possibly maybe send the fic to me at kayequeen182@aol.com please I will read and review.

My hair smells like avocado
THM

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #31 on: 06-23-2004 17:26 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Kryten:
I can't really think of any changes I'd make.

Kryten, that's the best news I've heard all day! Thanks!

  smile

'Naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies!'

- Justice Snoop Dogg, Into the Wild Green Yonder
Sm@ Cpt. Libido

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #32 on: 06-24-2004 03:00 »
« Last Edit on: 06-24-2004 03:00 »

Do you think you could send one my way! You know just for hahas! I don't have to review it if you are already swamped with, well, reviews!
My email is in my profile!
bender+fry

Professor
*
« Reply #33 on: 06-24-2004 07:20 »
« Last Edit on: 06-24-2004 07:20 »

Sorry, but I don't think I got it. If kevinkirbyman@yahoo.com didn't work, try my hotmail account, benderfry@hotmail.com.

EDIT: I'm leaving for summer vacation tommorow, which will be the middle of the day PEEL time, so I might not be able to review it for a while, but will jump at the first chance that I get.
THM

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #34 on: 07-10-2004 19:42 »


I'm planning to send the "And In..." to various fan sites fairly soon; but I haven't heard from all of my beta-readers yet (but thanks from those that have got in contact). Did anyone want to make any comments? E-mail if you could, please. Thanks in advance!

'Naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies!'

- Justice Snoop Dogg, Into the Wild Green Yonder
ooy

Professor
*
« Reply #35 on: 07-15-2004 00:28 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by ooy:
i'll be glad to put it up on my website i need some fanfics, fast, anyone!
please! send your fanfics to futuramaooy@hotmail.com!
also ill like to read it


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