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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    Dude, where's my carnage? « previous next »
Author Topic: Dude, where's my carnage?  (Read 373 times)
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Liquid Emperor
« on: 10-06-2003 17:38 »

It's my next fan fic project! Anyway, here's the opening...

(The PE crew is sitting at the table)

Farnsworth: Good news everyone! The Planet Express has found a way to run into some extra money.

Bender: Do I have to do anything?

Farnsworth: no...

Bender: Good, 'cause I wouldn't have anyway.

Leela: So, what are we doing, Proffesor?

Farnsworth: Eh- wha? Oh yes, We'll be shamelessly pimping some cheap crap.

Leela: Doesn't that seem a bit undignified?

Farnsworth: Leela, Leela. The real issue here is all new "Vanilla Slurm" and "Slurm Blue". Both found to be 13.5% less lethal than it's predescessors.

(he takes out a bottle and swigs it)

Farnsworth: See? I only ruptured one kidney.

Fry: I'm sold.

(Theme song plays)

Opening slogan: Fry be kickin' it old school, yo?

Cartoon clip: Some random animation of a toilet flushing

More to come...

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #1 on: 10-07-2003 10:41 »

Um... is there some reason nobody's responded? I'll get the next part up as soon as possible. Hmmm... Maybe a preview will help.


Matt: YOU OLD FOOL!! Fry works for ME now!! BWAHAHAH!!!

(Farnsworth gives him a hard spank on the rear)

Farnsworth: Settle down.

Urban Legend
« Reply #2 on: 10-07-2003 11:03 »

i like the opening slogan it's cute, but the story's too short for me to have any assumptions about the fic itself. Good start though.
Bobby King

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #3 on: 10-07-2003 11:06 »

good opening LH  smile

Delivery Boy
« Reply #4 on: 10-07-2003 13:18 »

if the rest is anything like the begining, you have a winner !

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #5 on: 10-07-2003 17:44 »

  big grin   big grin   big grin   big grin

Well, anyway, here's some more!

(External shot of PE building. cut to the conference table)

Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! We'll be getting a week off!

(Everyone gets excited)

Bender: A week? Wow! Think of all the looting I can get done!

Leela: But why, Proffesor?

Farnsworth: Um... no reason. But if there was, and I'm not saying there is, it certainly wouldn't have to do with unruly space wasps in the basement.

(cut to the basement where Scruffy is fighting off space wasps with a broom)

Scruffy: Scruffy says it's payback time.

(cut back to the table)

Hermes: All right, people. Your insurance don't cover stings.

Fry: "stings"?

Farnsworth: No. He said... "strings".

Bender: Makes sense.

(Everyone agrees)

(External shot of "Robot Arms" at night. cut to Fry & Bender's room. Bender is packing a suitcase when Fry enters)

Fry: Hey, Bender. What's with the suitcase?

Bender: Didn't I tell you?

Fry: What are you talking about? Of course you didn't.

Bender: I'm heading to Robotica to visit my uncle.

Fry: But we were supposed to go to Flushing Springs golf course. Their toilet's as big as this apartment!

Bender: Yeah, that was just a lie.

Fry: Well... that's okay. I have plenty of friends to hang out with.

Bender: No you don't.

(external shot of "Robot Arms" in the morning. cut to Bender leaving the room)

Bender: See ya Sunday, meatbag.

Fry: Um... y'know you don't HAVE to go.

Bender: Yeah, I know.

(Bender exits. Fry walks over and sits down on the couch as he hears Bender leave through the front enterance and drive away in a taxi)

Fry: Well, this week might not be TOO boring. I mean, I've got half a gallon of "3 Slurmos" ice cream and a new episode of The Simpsons is on tonight. Yeah, this might not be too bad.

(The phone rings. Fry gets up and answers it)

Fry: Hello?

More to come!

Bending Unit
« Reply #6 on: 10-07-2003 17:56 »

This is sounding amazing i can really see this as an real ep the intro really may me laff can't wait to read the rest leelaholic, big grin

« Reply #7 on: 10-07-2003 18:39 »

Wow... it's been a long time since I've seen a decent fic of any show, let alone a comedy because those are hard as hell to do. Great work!

Hehe... I also like the bit about the Simpsons, implying that they are STILL ON in the year 3000-whatever. I mean it's a great show but it's been declining in quality and I think they need to put it to sleep.

Bending Unit
« Reply #8 on: 10-07-2003 19:01 »

So far, so good.  THe only thing I'll complain about is that you're posting it randomly.  I mean, you just cut off in the middle of a scene.  Post scene by scene if you don't want to wait to post the whole thing.  That way, it's more like chapters.

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #9 on: 10-07-2003 19:06 »
« Last Edit on: 10-07-2003 19:06 »

Thanks, everyone.    big grin

Also, I'm glad that nichie caught the Simpsons thing because I forgot to say that I was originally going to imply that it's still going on by Fry flipping through the channels and everything reminded him of how he missed Bender so he went to rent a Simpsons DVP (DVD of the future) and a label on it said "All 21000 Current Episodes!" but I took it out because I remembered that Fry can't leave his appartment yet for reasons that you'll see later in the story.

Edit: And, Mr B. It was that way for suspense   smile
Vintage Dave

Bending Unit
« Reply #10 on: 10-08-2003 16:47 »

You're off to a pretty good start.  Great cold opening.  I miss those.  The tough part will be carrying it all the way through.  Don't force it.  And what's with all the toilets?

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #11 on: 10-08-2003 17:25 »

Fry: Hello?

Zoidberg: H**l*

Fry: I'm sorry. You're breaking up.

(a few seconds pass)

Zoidberg: Can you hear me now?

Fry: Yeah. Hi.

Zoidberg: I just wanted to tell you that there's a new Simpsons on tonight.

Fry: Yeah. I know.

Zoidberg: Okay. Bye.

Fry: WAIT!

Zoidberg: What?

Fry: Um... let me tell you about it.

(he picks up a TV guide)

Fry: (reading) "Set phasers on 'fun' when Homer becomes a Springfield's newest starship captain in an all new Simpsons tonight at 9:00 (8:00 martian time)"

Zoidberg: Fry, I get the feeling you're just using me to avoid being lonely...

Fry: No, I'm NOT! Now, let me tell you a long story. One time I was at Disneyland...

(fade to that night, Fry is still talking)

Fry: ...but then he died and went to heaven. Hello? Oh. You hung up. Okay, bye.

(he hangs up)

Fry: I guess I'll take that walk now...

(He exits. Cut to Fry walking down the street)

Fry: Oh, man. NOW what am I gonna do?

(something offscreen catches his eye)

Fry: Hey! That gives me an idea.

(He runs off toward it)

(External shot of "Robot Arms" in the morning. Cut to Fry with a little robot dog)

Robot dog: Yip yip yip!

Fry: Awww.

(Bender enters)

Bender: LOOK! It's Sunday. Time for me. Bender!

Fry: Hi.

Bender: Just "hi"?

Fry: Yep.

Bender: Oh... okay.

(Bender walks sadly away)

Robot dog: Yip yip yip!

Fry: Awww.

Robot dog: Yip yip yip!


Robot dog: Yip yip yip!

Fry: Awww.

Starship Captain
« Reply #12 on: 10-08-2003 17:37 »

This is going pretty well so far leelaholic.  I'm waiting for more of course, and more, and morehahahahaha.

Sorry 'bout that.

Bending Unit
« Reply #13 on: 10-08-2003 18:07 »

This is truly a very well thought out fan fic, keep um coming, still making me laff, big grin
Pikka Bird

Space Pope
« Reply #14 on: 11-08-2003 22:01 »

This has some spirit. Especially WUVED the intro! Keep it spewing forth... we're anxious
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