Comments requested on new script "Rodents"

[on:]

Hi, all, I've just had my first script posted over at The Leela Zone. I would very much  appreciate comments and/or reviews here in this thread. It's a simple episode-length, self-contained script that I believe stays very true to the Futurama mythology. The link is below:
 http://www.leelazone.com.ar/fanfic/rodentsleadhome.shtml

[Reply #1 on:]

very good, i like it 

[Reply #2 on:]

Yeah, it felt very inline with the feel of the show. I particular liked how the owls ruled the streets of NNY with brutal efficiency. Poor rats. 

[Reply #3 on:]

I read it.
I liked it.
I though it had the same "feel" as an actual episode: Something that my humble attempts at fan-fiction are sadly lacking in.
I can't think of a single way to improve it.
The Neo-Amish were a nice element, as was the 'West Side Story' interaction between the rats and the owls.
One question: Just how smart are the owls supposed to be? They seemed a cut above 'animal intelligence'. Is there something you're not telling us?
OH! OH! Another fic!

[Reply #4 on:]

Thank you for the kind words. I've always been  intrigued by the owls and their apparant flightlessness.

Perhaps the owls are genetically modified...or maybe they have special hats.

Anyone else have comments? I've very interested to hear from more diehard fans as to what seems to work and what doesn't.

[Reply #5 on:]

I think (Cohen?)  Said on one of the DVD commentaries that they brought in the owls to catch the rats, so the owls became a problem.  I like the story, anyway.

[Reply #6 on:]

It's kinda weird the mindset I used when I wrote it, because though I worked very hard on it and went through countless drafts, I wrote it as if the writing staff of Futurama would be working over it and improving upon it. Seat of my pants sort of stuff...

If it's true what you say FemJesse, I'm glad it wouldn't take more than a couple of lines re-written to jive with that. After all, they did seem quite adept a killing rats    (even though I've logged rats in 4 episodes now)

Anyone else? It's already gotten at least 10 votes over at TLZ, which is a lot from what I've seen, but I want more! I'm beggin' ya'all to read it! What character's did I nail? What voices didn't seem quite right? Did the lack of a "B" story bother anyone?