« on: 07-09-2003 20:25 »
Wanted to post it here so I could get feedback...
Anyway, description: Fry and Leela had a date. But... it was a horrible date. Short, and mildly shippy (meaning that I use only relationships that have been on the show, but it is about Fry and Leela--still, I don't actually throw them at each other or anything). Based on a song of the same title by The Flash Girls.
Fry is in the employee lounge, watching TV with a big grin on his face. Leela comes in.
LEELA: Hey, Fry.
FRY: Leela! Hey, now that we’re dating, do you think we should start coming in together in the mornings?
LEELA: Dating? Fry… we’re not dating.
FRY: Okay, we’ll keep going on normally, but if you change your mind you let me know.
LEELA: Um, Fry… about last night…
FRY: (excited) Wasn’t it great? I bet it was the best first date ever!
LEELA: Excuse me? What date were you on? It stank!
FRY: I know, it was great! Do you think we could get in the book of world records for the best first date ever? Or maybe our second date will be even better!
LEELA: There isn’t going to be a second date, Fry. We went out. It was horrible. We’re not dating.
BENDER: (pops his head in) Who’s dating?
FRY: Me and Leela!
LEELA: We are not!
BENDER: Finally! It’s about time you two organ sacs woke up and smelled the pheromones.
FRY: I know! Hey, Bender, if I ask Leela to move in with me, is that okay?
BENDER: Hmmm… I don’t know… no, I don’t think I want to listen to you meatbags procreating all the time. You go move in with her. Or better yet, don’t anyone move anywhere.
LEELA: Fry, we’re never moving in together because we’re NOT DATING!!
FRY: (ignores her) Well, I’m sure we’ll come up with something when the time comes. I mean, we just had our first date. We don’t want to rush into things. (leans close to Bender and whispers) But just between you and me, Leela had better go shopping for a wedding dress before the end of the month!
Bender is largely not paying attention anymore, and is watching TV.
LEELA: I heard that, you know.
FRY: Oh, no, now the surprise is ruined!
LEELA: Fry. Listen to me. I want you to pay close attention to every word I say, okay?
LEELA: Last night was… awful…
Fry suddenly covers his ears and starts humming loudly.
LEELA: (talking louder) It was the worst date I’ve ever been on. We are not dating! Frankly, you’re lucky we’re still friends!
FRY: (sing-song) I can’t hear you!
LEELA: Fry! I can’t believe you won’t even listen to me!
She stalks out of the room angrily. Fry stops making noise and cautiously lowers his hands.
FRY: Well, that went well. I think I’ll ask her out again for tonight when she comes back.
*The main room*
Leela stomps in angrily. Amy, who is tinkering with some machine on the desk, looks up.
AMY: Leela, what’s wrong?
LEELA: Nothing. (sits down at the desk)
AMY: Okay. (goes back to the machinery)
LEELA: It’s Fry. He’s driving me crazy! We went out on a date last night.
AMY: (gasps) Really? Oh, that’s great, Leela, I’m so happy for you guys!
LEELA: No! It’s not like that! Okay, so we went out, but it was a rotten date. Fry and I are NOT dating. But he thinks we are, and he won’t even listen to me!
AMY: Oh… well, Leela, do you have any idea how long he’s waited for this?
LEELA: About three years?
AMY: Uh, I think so… Anyway, Fry’s been totally in love with you for like, ever. It’s what he’s always wanted… for three years, anyway.
LEELA: I know, and I feel bad about it, but honestly--! He took me to Fishy Joe’s for dinner.
AMY: Eh, I’ve had worse.
LEELA: He made me pay.
AMY: (gasps) Oh, my god!
LEELA: And that’s not even the start of it. Look, I don’t want to talk about that… date. Just tell me how I can get rid of Fry without leaving him a broken mockery of the human condition. And you know, without actually getting rid of him.
Amy stares at her.
LEELA: Just tell me how to break up with him.
AMY: Well, you could ask him out on another date and break up with him then.
LEELA: Won’t that just encourage him?
AMY: Not if you do it right.
*Elzar’s, the next evening*
FRY: This is so exciting! Our second date! Hey, do you wanna move in with me?
LEELA: Uhh, maybe later. I don’t think we’re ready for that.
FRY: Oh. Okay. So, how many dates is it gonna be before we can make out?
LEELA: A lot. Listen, Fry. There’s another reason I asked you out tonight.
LEELA: I like you, Fry. You’re really a sweet person, even if you are dumber than some trees. That’s why this is going to be hard for me. On the other hand, remembering our first date just makes it that much easier.
LEELA: Fry, I don’t think we should…
FRY: Wait a second, I almost forgot! There’s something I wanted to say to you.
LEELA: Uhm, make it quick.
FRY: In my whole life, there’s only been one thing I’m sure of, and that’s how I feel about you. You’re beautiful, and smart, and you kick butt, and you don’t run away from me screaming.
LEELA: (under her breath) Not yet, at least… why is he being so nice?
FRY: You’re one of my best friends, but I’ll always see you as more than a friend. Leela, I—
LEELA: No, don’t you dare say it!
FRY: I love you!
LEELA: Stop that! Stop being sweet! I’m trying to break up with you!
FRY: (cont’d) I’ve never loved anyone but you. And now that we’re dating, I can finally show you what that means to me.
Leela covers her ears and starts humming loudly.
FRY: (talking slightly louder) Our relationship will last a really long time! I’ll never look at another woman! I’ll propose whenever you want me to!
LEELA: (sing-song) I can’t hear you!
FRY: (starts yelling) And no matter what we end up going through, I’ll ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!
Leela stares at him, then bursts into giggles. Fry looks at her confusedly for a little while, then joins her.
FRY: Why are we laughing?
LEELA: Look at us! Some couple we make. We can’t even listen to each other!
FRY: (defensively) We’ll fix that with time!
LEELA: Fry, no. You know we aren’t really dating.
Fry looks downcast.
FRY: But… I really want us to be. And I know we could make it work, if we just—
LEELA: Not this time, Fry.
Fry looks depressed.
FRY: Well, can’t we just pretend we’re dating?
LEELA: No! (pause) How about this: We go back to normal. You and I are friends. Just friends. But maybe, someday, we could try this again. Okay?
FRY: Well, I guess that’s better than you hating me for getting all clingy…
LEELA: I know you meant well, but I just don’t think we’re ready for a relationship together. And tonight proved it.
FRY: Yeah, but… there’s still a chance that maybe… someday?
LEELA: Yeah. Someday.
FRY: I can live with that.
Opinions, please! I can post song lyrics if anyone wants.
(sarcasm) No, I'm not desparate...