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Author Topic: OC's first Fanfic  (Read 600 times)
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OC_James

Liquid Emperor
**
« on: 05-03-2003 01:03 »
« Last Edit on: 11-23-2003 00:00 »

Okay, this is pretty much crap because I've never been good at fanfics and this is my first Futurama fanfic. It's basically a script for an episode that I wrote that is so crappy it is not deserving of a name. Oh, well it's good for a few laughs. Be easy on it.

[INT. the Planet Express employee lounge. Fry, Leela, Zoidberg, Bender, and Hermes are sitting at the table.]

FRY:
And then I bit off my own head. After that, my head started
talking to my body and they broke out in song and dance.

ZOIDBERG:
I had that dream too...

HERMES:
No, you didn't ya' crusty ol' hermit crab.

ZOIDBERG:
I know...

[Prof. Farnsworth walks into the lounge]

PROF. FARNSWORTH:
Good news, everyone. The planet of Industrius 6 is in
the midst of the universe's largest strike.

FRY:
What's Industrius 6?

LEELA:
It's the planet where most of the products sold throughout
the universe are made. It's important to every planet's economy in
some way.

PROF. FARNSWORTH:
Yes, apparently they also have the universe's largest union.
Which, is why I've fought so hard to keep you all out of
a union.

BENDER:
Damn straight!

PROF. FARNSWORTH:
Anyway, instead of raising the workers pay 5% like they've asked
they're buying Slave-bots which unlike our alcoholic friend here-

[Bender's holding a beer now. He belches]

PROF. FARNSWORTH:
-they have no personality database and no will to be
rewarded for their work. One single Slave-bot can do ten-times
the work of a human being. Thirty-times the work if the human's Fry.

[Fry stands up]

FRY:
Woo-hoo! I'm the laziest!

[Fry's cheering slows and he sits back down]

FRY:
Eh, maybe later.

LEELA:
Wait a minute. What will happen if the workers discover what
were deliviring?

PROF. FARNSWORTH:
Oh, you'll all die horrid deaths I suppose.

[The crew looks at each other]

PROF. FARNSWORTH:
I suppose we could make a deal...

[INT. The Planet Express Spaceship]

FRY:
I can't believe the professor gave us our own Slave-bots.

[Fry pats a large neutral grey looking robot on the head]

FRY:
He can do all the work I never get around to.

LEELA:
You never do any work around here! What possibly could you program
it to do?

FRY:
Well...he could...hmm...eat for me?

BENDER:
I don't think that'd...

FRY:
Just think about the hours spent eating when a robot could do just the same
for me in a matter of seconds!

[Fry reaches under his seat and pulls out half of an old sandwich]

FRY:
Slave-bot eat!

[The Slave-bot takes the sandwich from Fry and swallows it. It looks around
and walks to the side door of the ship. It opens the door and jumps out]

FRY:
Why does this keep happening to me?!

BENDER:
At least I still have mine.

FRY:
Wanna share?

BENDER:
Wanna bite my shiny metal ass?

[The Slave-bot is in the back of the ship. It looks around curiously.
Bender walks in]

BENDER:
Okay Slave-bot, Fry gave me ten bucks for you to eat some old pudding.

[The Slave-bot points to some of Bender's beer]

BENDER:
What? Want some beer?

[Slave-bot shakes it's head up and down. Bender hands him a bottle of beer]

BENDER:
Drink up.

[The Slave-bot looks down at the bottle. It drinks]

SLAVE-BOT:
Mmmm...

BENDER:
Good huh?

[Slave-bot grabs another beer]

BENDER:
Whoa...uh...you better pace yourself friend.

[It drinks it all and belches a huge flame]

[INT. The front of the ship again]

FRY:
So where's your robot?

LEELA:
I gave it some chores to do.

[INT. The janitor's room]

SCRUFFY:
And sometimes, it seems no one cares what Scruffy thinks.

[Slave-bot nods it's head up and down]

[Back to front room. Bender walks in]

BENDER:
Um...I thought the robots didn't have personalities?

LEELA:
They don't.

BENDER:
Well than why did Slave-bot just call me an ass-lancer and steal my
beer?

LEELA:
What'd you do?

BENDER:
He was a little boring so I gave him some beer.

LEELA:
They're only supposed to run on mineral water!

BENDER:
Hey, I'm not the one who gave him the beer...oh wait I am.

LEELA:
I guess you and Fry could go and shut him of manually.

FRY:
Why me?!

LEELA:
I need to steer!

FRY:
Sss...I could do that.

[Fry pushes Leela aside and starts steering. After about one second
after taking control the ship makes a thud]

FRY:
Damn space possums!

LEELA:
That was the top of a meteor!

FRY:
Fine take your pathetic spaceship! Now, if you don't mind I'm gonna
go handle a drunken, potentially psychotic robot.

[Fry and Bender walk into the back of the ship to reveal dozens of Slave-bots all drunk and talking]

FRY:
My God, they can asexually reproduce.

BENDER:
Robots don't reproduce skinbag! He must've let the others out of the boxes.

FRY:
(Saracastically)
Yeah, really realistic thought, Bender.

ORIGINAL SLAVE-BOT:
Hey, there's the dude who gave me the beers.

(All the robots cheer)

BENDER:
Okay, time to get back in your boxes.

ALL SLAVE-BOTS:
Awwww...

RANDOM SLAVE-BOT FROM CROWD:
We don't want to!

BENDER:
Maybe we could let them stay out a while...you know at least 'til we make it to
Industrius 6.

FRY:
Well...I suppose it couldn't hurt.

[Music starts playing as we watch Bender, Fry, and the slave-bots' antics]

[They're watching a cockfight. After that Fry and a robot are both holding broken glasses
and fighting one another. Next, we see Fry looking through Playboy while Bender
and the Slave-bots look through Playbot. Last, we see one of the chickens in the cockfight
go down and Bender attacks the winner]

[In the next scene Fry and the robots are laying around the back room]

FRY:
We should be there about now. You guys better get back in
your crates and prepare for a life of mundane and repetitive labor.

RANDOM SLAVE-BOT:
I don't know...I think I want a career in bartending instead.

ANOTHER RANDOM SLAVE-BOT:
I always wanted to be an actor.

BENDER:
Oh, no they've developed hopes and dreams!

[Fry and Bender walk away from the crowd]

FRY:
What should we do?!

BENDER:
Calm down. I've got an idea.

BENDER:
(Yelling)
FREE BOOZE OUTSIDE THE SHIP!

FRY:
I thought we were supposed to deliver them.

BENDER:
Damn!

[Bender throws a beer bottle. It whacks a robot in the head. A disk falls
out of the back of it's head]

BENDER:
Their informaitonal disks...

[Bender and Fry look at each other]

FRY:
Wait...I don't get it.

BENDER:
Never mind. Let me demonstrate.

[Points to Slave-bot]

BENDER:
Hey, I found one more bottle of beer. I'll give it to you for $15.
 
[All the Slave-bots start walking towards Bender]

[Bender and Fry start picking up bottles and hurling them at the robots. They fall over as the
disks fall out. Soon all the bots are down]

FRY:
And that's the end of that.

[The Plant Express ships lands on Industrius 6 just as Fry and Bender finish
putting the bots in their crates]

[They sneak pass the crowd of picketers. And load the crates into the back of the factory. A
heavy man smoking a cigar signs the papers for the delivery]

FRY:
(to Bender)
You think that they'll notice the Slave-bots don't work?

BENDER:
It'll probably never even cross their minds.

[As they're getting back on the ship they notice Scruffy walking by]

FRY:
Hey Scruffy.

SCRUFFY:
Scruffy don't need you.

[Scruffy walks into his room and pulls the Slave-bot from under
his hammock]

SCRUFFY:
Then, when Scruffy was 17 his date stood him up at the prom...

[Back to the back of the ship where Fry and Bender are watching TV]

FRY:
I guess the lesson here today is, that when you boil right down to it only
truly living things ever have the true intelligence to survive in this world.

[Bender seems offended]

BENDER:
Hey, Fry if you pay me ten bucks I'll give you this old pudding.

FRY:
Okay.

DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #1 on: 05-03-2003 01:21 »

Short but sweet.  This had a couple of really good laughs in it.  The characters were almost perfectly dead-on.  I'd love to see this expanded into a full-fledged adventure.
Anarchist

Professor
*
« Reply #2 on: 05-03-2003 01:24 »

Not bad for a first attempt. Had a few good laughs there too.
"Oh no, they've developed hopes and dreams!" Pure gold...
Kristi
Starship Captain
****
« Reply #3 on: 05-03-2003 01:29 »

It was good, but kinda too short. I like how it was actually funny instead of dramatic like most fics. I give it 6.5/10.
OC_James

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #4 on: 05-03-2003 10:23 »
« Last Edit on: 05-03-2003 10:23 »

I've checked and by the 3 reviews I've done better than That's Lobstertainment! Yay...wait that's not saying much is it?
Lee Roberts

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #5 on: 05-03-2003 10:34 »

No. Welcome anywoo. I do think you sould do soe more though then send it to some of the Futurama websites.
FrysGIRL

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #6 on: 05-03-2003 12:25 »

I enjoyed it. The ending was a bit abrupt, but the story itself was good and entertaining. Unlike some, I like it for the fact that it was short. I'm tired of fanfics that take ten years to read. Keep up the good work!
getak2003

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #7 on: 05-04-2003 14:28 »

Yeah, could be longer, but at least it is not too long like some i have read, and perhaps written.

good for a first attempt, maybe if you let the ideas knaw away at you for a while you will come up with a really good fan fic. i never see any with alot of comedy in them, it is always either love, tragedy, or adventyure with no love or tragedy. Even i am guilty of the too much love aspect of fan fics.

at least i am examining what happens after they are in love and married. that is an angle not seen too much really. i have read in only one fan fic call leela's affair where they are married, and by the title you can figure out that it doesn't end well for leela or fry.

there are alot of areas not ventured into with fan fics you know, like fry snapping due to leela rejecting him one too many times. only recently has one been written like that, and very well i might add. i too will examine this in another fry, not the one from the dimenaion in which my going insane fry resides, but another where he really does go insane, and it is a REAL sad one too. even worse than that little puppy thing i have heard so much about, wish i could see the episode though.

Find a niche and fill it is what i say. you can't go wrong there, as there is not point of reference for critisizm.

till the next reply...


GHT
[AdAM]

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #8 on: 05-04-2003 17:49 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by DrThunder88:
Short but sweet.  This had a couple of really good laughs in it.  The characters were almost perfectly dead-on.
Quote
Originally posted by Kristi:
I like how it was actually funny instead of dramatic like most fics.
Quote
Originally posted by FrysGIRL:
The ending was a bit abrupt, but the story itself was good and entertaining. Unlike some, I like it for the fact that it was short. I'm tired of fanfics that take ten years to read. Keep up the good work!

Exactly!  big grin
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