Erdrik
Professor
|
|
I just read parts 1-4 of Delicious Surprise. Overall it's alright, though the fact that after 4 parts there is still no disernable plot really prevents me from liking it to much. Basicly it reads like a documentary of their lives. It starts out a little slow but picks up just a touch by the fourth part, with the Ash... Every one acts pretty close to the way their suppose to, tho the dialog needs a little improvement... I'd give all 4 parts a 5.5/10. Lots of potential, keep it up.
|
|
|
|
|
Allen
Professor
|
|
Hi, I'm back with a review of some fics I've read.
Universe of Malice: Beautiful work on Part 13. I look forward to the next installment.
The Fry-borg: Sickingly sweet. Not much of a plot to this. I was disappointed as it had a lot of potential. Still good for a once over by any F&L shipper.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kif White
Bending Unit
|
|
I recently read Anarchist's "A Second Chance" at TLZ, which isn't a new story, but here's a little review of it anyway:
It's a very good fanfic. Actually, it's better than good, it's great. It's funny, touching, gripping and just a really good read. There are some great lines, fantastic moments and the characterisation is dead-on. The conflict between Leela and Fry following is also well scribed and thought out, and I think the writer has really portrayed things between the two of them accurately. It may be a Shipper fic, but it's not pointlessly mushy (Bender's jerkass moments all the while contrast the deeper parts well) and is still open-ended regarding Fry and Leela's relationship. Overall, it's got a little bit of everything. Action, adventure, romance, neat aliens, laughs, nightmares... you name it. I can see why it's one of the highest and most often rated stories at TLZ, it really does deserve it. A good story for both Shippers and fans of the series in general. Kudos to Anarchist, you did a great job.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Erdrik
Professor
|
|
Read part 5 of Missy's Delicious Surprise. Its pretty good best chapter so far,... Alhough the date went a little too smoothly, IMO... I think Leela was out of charcter. From what I have seen she seems the type to let the other control the date. Also one bit in particular was so off it made me stop and re-read it a couple of times... really hurt the 'immersivness'(sp?) of the story "Do you want to go to the Hip Joint?" she asked suddenly. "It's oldies night tonight, maybe they'll play something from your time."
He seemed nervous. "I dunno, Leela; it's getting kind of late..."
"Let me put it this way, Fry; I want to go to the Hip Joint with you."
His eyes lit up. "That changes everything."
I don't get why 'that changes everything'... If she was asking to go in the first place then Fry would understand that she wants to go. Leela should have been a bit more covert or subtle in how she said it. like: "I haven't danced in a while, I wonder if there is a club near by." ... He seemed nervous. "I dunno, Leela; it's getting kind of late..."
"Let me put it this way, Fry; I want to go to the Hip Joint with you."
Still a 5.5\10...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
helpimchoking
Delivery Boy
|
|
i wanna write a script, fry gets into blizzard storm in the middle of no were, leela comes to rescue him but faints from the cold, and fry has alot more protective clothes, so he finds her and carries her throw extreme weather, and he put alot of his clothes on her, and he fights bears and gets hurt, and ya, i love dramam episodes, but n e waysz, leela is barely awake when she sees him about to collaspe and the crew finds him, in the express ship. oh ya. drama episodes.......... and then like they both awake in differnt rooms, and fry wants to see leela but he cannot, cuz he broke him legs, and leela broke her leg, oh boy. thay wud make me cry if they made an episode like that, i asked anyone if thwey have seen the show and who ever said yes said they liked it, who wouldnt tho? i luv the moon episode, and i wanna see the sting episode ok byez now
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fing-longer
Crustacean
|
|
I've been begging for responses in another thread, but I'll post my request for reviews of my script here as well. It's "All Rodents Lead to Home" and reveals how owls became dominant and how cows became extinct. It's very episode -like and is a quick read. Enjoy! http://www.leelazone.com.ar/fanfic/rodentsleadhome.shtml
|
|
|
|
|
|
Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
|
|
I liked it. Seemed almost like a real script. Although I prefer prose rather than script when it comes to fanfics, everything flowed nicely and was pretty funny.
Uh, yeah, that's about it. I normally don't do reviews, so bear with me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Luis
Bending Unit
|
|
Hi everyone I'm Luis Gonzales (That guy that wrote the Fry-borg). First of all, i wanna state that like the name would suggest, i'm mexican and thereby english is not my native language so sorry for some stuff that didn't make sense on the fic. Secondly, i agree, my fanfic is not nearly as good as any of kritten's, bumblebee theta's, etc, and i'm amazed that they got like 5 or 7 votes on TLZ and mine got 40 (And i'm not being sarcastic, I LOVE their fics). Thirdly, I asked for feedback for the fanfic and only 3 or 4 people bothered enough to actually E-mail me(Allen and my friend Alexei being the most helpful). I know i screwed some things up on it but i don't think Leela is too violent, although i do recon that fighting Fry was a bit unrealistic (Okay, WAYY too unreal), just remember TMLH. Also, try to keep in mind that i'm a newbie, and the only way i could be a little original was to put some of my feelings on it (Part 5 will be a little better i hope). Anyway, to everyone that would PLEASE point me the mistakes in the story i'd be grateful (Like i said on the fic, fire at will) i can't improve without advice (Except from that ght guy).
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kif White
Bending Unit
|
|
Probably a little later than everybody else, but I just read part 1 of Missy's "Delicious Surprise" today. Here's a brief summary:
Overall, it's a nice start. I'm not generally into fics where Fry and Leela are together, but this is set so far down the line that that doesn't bother me. It seems realistic. Lilah seems very much like an offspring of Fry and Leela would be, and her character has been set nicely in such a short amount of time. Everybody is in character, and it's an interesting start to the story. It's not fantastically brilliant, or gut-busting hilarious, but it is very nice. Well-written and very much like Futurama. Keep up the good work, Missy.
P.S. If you're reading this, Missy, I've posted a larger review at the Groening Fanworks Central board too.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|