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Author Topic: Fan Fiction Raviews  (Read 10306 times)
Pages: 1 ... 3 4 5 [6] 7 8 9 ... 20 Print
Allen

Professor
*
« Reply #200 on: 07-20-2003 11:05 »
« Last Edit on: 07-20-2003 11:05 »

Thanks for my first review Venus. It's much appreciated.

TOTP Dance (fanfic release version)
Farnsworth38

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #201 on: 07-20-2003 13:52 »

Hi everyone. I’ve only just started to visit PEEL, and looking back over the last few pages it’s a good job I did. I would like to apologise to anyone who was in any way offended by The Longest Journey Home Part 1: it was not my intention. The idea was to put a positive spin on fidelity and safe sex: probably a bit ambitious for my first attempt, I admit. So I’m off to take a long look at Part 2...   
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #202 on: 07-20-2003 14:09 »

i liked TLJH.
Atticus

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #203 on: 07-21-2003 01:25 »

I have just finished reading Allen's "The How of Fry", and I found it to be a very clever and interesting story. 
Well done, Allen.
Allen

Professor
*
« Reply #204 on: 07-21-2003 13:03 »

Thank you. My god, I think this is more reviews than I've gotten in my entire career. Thanks to all who take the time to review. It is appreciated.
Farnsworth38

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #205 on: 07-22-2003 04:05 »

Allen, THOF: Nice work. You dropped some clever ideas in there. And I liked the way Morbo and Linda were actually part of the story, instead of just being used to provide information to the reader. Ever thought of using that view of Linda as an ambitious investigative reporter as a fic backbone? I can’t remember anyone going down that route before. 
Wonderbee31

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #206 on: 07-26-2003 08:25 »
« Last Edit on: 07-26-2003 08:25 »

Farnsworth38's, The Longest Journey Home part 2, is up at TLZ now.  I really liked the second part.  We get to learn more about the (non)relationship between Leela and Fry, and I like the way that the story is progressing.  The reasons that have been shown for Leela not being in a serious way with Fry are very logical, and fits with her character.  I'm anxiously awaiting part 3.

Oh yeah, if there's any similarities with my own fic, I didn't really notice, to busy reading.

(Various zombie voices: Must read more, must read more. Brains. Brai[smack] um, must read more.   big grin
getak2003

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #207 on: 07-28-2003 01:53 »

i read that brains one allen made, i must say it was good, got kinda boring, and illogical in parts, but good non the less.

also, longest journey home is very good. i helped edit it, and i hope to help edit any more installments to that great fic.

farnswoth38, you are a very talented writter, keep up the good work.
Futurama_Hil

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #208 on: 07-28-2003 18:32 »

aw man, looks like i missed hulluvalot on vacation. allen's fic, first up at bat! then all the others!
Allen

Professor
*
« Reply #209 on: 07-28-2003 18:53 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by getak2003:
i read that brains one allen made, i must say it was good, got kinda boring, and illogical in parts, but good non the less.

Pardon moi, but it does have a name, "The How of Fry." Use it, it sounds so much better than "That brains one Allen made."

Boring and illogical? Hmm, interesting that no one else has said these things. So what was illogical? And not every moment can be packed with action, you've got to do some boring stuff too.

So thanks for the review. Now, if you'll pardon me, I'm going to go laugh hysterically for a hour at something that strikes me funny. Ciao! laff
FemJesse

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #210 on: 07-28-2003 21:20 »
« Last Edit on: 07-28-2003 21:20 »

Farnsworth, you're my hero!  *hugs*

Edit:  Hey Allen, all the parts with Kateg were illogical   laff
Mango

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #211 on: 07-28-2003 21:27 »

  eek Oh no!  The evil Kateg is making us stupid!

...

Ahahaha  laff
I was actually pretty slow picking up on that...but anyway, I really loved the story.  It made perfect sense to me  smile
Allen

Professor
*
« Reply #212 on: 07-28-2003 21:32 »
« Last Edit on: 07-28-2003 21:32 »

FemJessie: Can't tell if you're being sarcastic or truthful. You're laughing so have you discovered something funny about that?  wink
FemJesse

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #213 on: 07-28-2003 23:04 »

I was definitely trying to be funny.  I must suck at it.  Good thing I'm not a comedian or I'd starve to death.
getak2003

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #214 on: 07-29-2003 00:10 »

yes...yes you would....
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #215 on: 07-29-2003 00:36 »

you really have nothing else to do with your time, do you Getak? For someone who has 'moved on to bigger and better things' you sure do like to hang around here and be annoying. Shouldn't you be trolling around on the message board of your new fav show? Or have they kicked you out already?
Erdrik

Professor
*
« Reply #216 on: 07-30-2003 12:55 »
« Last Edit on: 07-30-2003 12:55 »

Wow. GHT, never have I been so quickly put off by a fan fic.    hmpf

I won't bother reviewing it as I only read the first 'chapter'.

But from what I read you could stand to be a bit less 'long-winded' (Unless you already fixed this in following chapters...)
Example:
FRY: Oh man! What a nightmare! We were so close to finally being happy, but like that
the one thing that could have gotten Leela
to love me is gone, DESTROYED! And by none
other than Leela herself! Well that is it!
There has to be another way to win Leela’s heart, and I just have to find it!

Way to long! I don't think Fry has ever said so much at any one time. except maybe 'Future Stocks'

This would probly be better:
FRY: There has to be another way to win Leela’s heart, and I just have to find it!

All that blah blah explaining what already happened isn't nessicary. Most people reading the fics already know the score.    wink

I'll be back later with a review for Mitch's 'Robo-Leela'    roll eyes
 
Quote

Leela: I feel disoriented. And I'm...having trouble remembering some things.

Fry: Like,...what I just told you?

Leela: What was it?
this would be better as :
Leela just looks at Fry in a confused manner.
it sounds funny if she actualy asks what he said.

Fry: (disappointed) Um, never mind.

I think the hair bit was a little weird, but
Overall it was alright. All of the characters acted pretty much in character, though they never realy did anything noticable. The whole story had them reacting to things that happen to them. I would suggest writing where they take an active role in the story. Like, for example, instead of Susan Showing up at the PE, the crew investigates and finds her name on a ripped peice of paper, and after a city wide search finds her apartment.

5/7 = Good

Call me Erdrik

Boycott Fox!! Down with the Evil OverLords!!
Futurama_Hil

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #217 on: 07-30-2003 13:11 »
« Last Edit on: 07-30-2003 13:11 »

i finished reading allen's "The How Of Fry" it's very, very good.  very well structured.  i'm just wondering if my next fic will be too simular...no, don't worry, it won't.  well, a good read.  and what a miracle- i understood it! hehe, great job there allen, all your fics rock

BumbleBeeTheta

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #218 on: 07-30-2003 18:24 »

Your fic was awesome, Allen.  Of course, that's to be expected.  smile
getak2003

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #219 on: 07-30-2003 20:32 »

*tears up*
FINALLY! somebody who actually reviewed my stories for more than the so called plagerizm!

thank you OH THANK GOD somebody actually posted something about it!

and yes, in later chapers i DID shorten the dialogue. i never sent parts 1-4 to be edited by anyone, and hell, i never got around to even proofreading some of them either!

but thank you edrik for actually reading my stories and comenting on a matter other than plagerizm. i feel great that somebody comented on the story and not what it was made up of...you have really made my night, thank you!
Allen

Professor
*
« Reply #220 on: 07-30-2003 20:38 »

Um, I think he said he only read the first chapter and that it sucked. And I think I've been telling you what I found wrong not that it matters because you don't listen. wink Hehe
]PaulFSAC[

Professor
*
« Reply #221 on: 07-31-2003 02:18 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by getak2003:
*tears up*
FINALLY! somebody who actually reviewed my stories for more than the so called plagerizm!

thank you OH THANK GOD somebody actually posted something about it!

and yes, in later chapers i DID shorten the dialogue. i never sent parts 1-4 to be edited by anyone, and hell, i never got around to even proofreading some of them either!

but thank you edrik for actually reading my stories and comenting on a matter other than plagerizm. i feel great that somebody comented on the story and not what it was made up of...you have really made my night, thank you!


Before you go into Super Happy Mode .. he said "Wow. GHT, never have I been so quickly put off by a fan fic.

I won't bother reviewing it as I only read the first 'chapter'." 

This means he never actually read the story beyond Chapter One.  Learn to read as well as write, it might do you some good.
Wonderbee31

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #222 on: 07-31-2003 13:12 »

Part 3 of Missy's Delicious Surprise is up at TLZ now, and it's turning out great.  It's set in the future, but she has the characters down pat, and I think it's a great story.  I like the way that it's progressing, and am looking forward to seeing more. 

Must go now, too busy reading.
getak2003

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #223 on: 08-01-2003 10:09 »

i DO know how to write well and read good! hope you know that was a grammar joke,

and i was happy with the fact they reviewed the story and didn't give the old "you copied everyone! i hate your story" line. even if they didn't like it, it shows that some people can look beyond the plagerizm and say something about the story itself, unlike anyone else here *caugh*allen*caugh*

yeah, that's about it. just happy about a story review, and not the age old plagerizm accusation.
Erdrik

Professor
*
« Reply #224 on: 08-01-2003 12:20 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by getak2003:
...
hope you know that was a grammar joke,
...
???  confused
 
Quote
and i was happy with the fact they reviewed the story and didn't give the old "you copied everyone! ...

yeah, that's about it. just happy about a story review, and not the age old plagerizm accusation.
? I think GHT is in denile. I did clearly state that I didn't bother to review it.  roll eyes oh well, just let him live in his little dream world. lol  laff

Call me Erdrik

Boycott Fox!! Down with the Evil OverLords!!
Allen

Professor
*
« Reply #225 on: 08-01-2003 14:29 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by getak2003
and i was happy with the fact they reviewed the story and didn't give the old "you copied everyone! i hate your story" line. even if they didn't like it, it shows that some people can look beyond the plagerizm and say something about the story itself, unlike anyone else here *caugh*allen*caugh*

Maybe the reason no one seems to look beyond the plagiarism is that there is nothing else there. You take away all that you copied and you lose over half your story.

You want a review? Your story could stand to be a lot better. God, I can't even read the first few chapters because the characters sound different when they talk. (I suffered through them one time, but I won't read them again.

You have this annoying habit of killing off characters you don't like. I don't like Cubert, but did I kill him? No, he just wasn't there because he wasn't essential to my plot.

What was the point of forcing Fry to have sex with the Amazonians again? The point was very ill explained and I cannot see how procreating with them could help matters.

I think it's stupid to mention Stargate SG1 in your fic. That's a sure way of telling the idea's not yours. Most of your story is confusing and irrational. Especially your dimension travelling part. What was the idea behind that? Let's cram as many dimensions as possible into one part?

Long story short, I could sit here and rattle off every little thing I found wrong, but I think it's enough to say your story gets a big fat F. That is comparing it with every fic I've ever read. I'd rather read one of Zapp's Woman's stories and until you came along they had the lowest rating. I'm proud to pass the honor onto you.

Now that I've reviewed your story, I have a request. GO AWAY! The day you leave we'll have a party! We'll have a blast. (shakes head) If only you knew, if only. But I promised myself you'd never find out. It probably wouldn't matter if you knew anyway. I will tell you this. When I invited you to discuss your story, I didn't expect you. Now I truly regret that invitation and I truly regret my decision. All you've done is piss on us all and our beloved show. So, I'm done. This is over. I hope someone gives you swift kick in various places on the way out. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
*******************************************
Last Shot was really good and quite entertaining. It took some getting used to Romanticorp as evil, but the author pulled it off well. I say to this author, I can't wait to read more from you.

Kif White

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #226 on: 08-01-2003 16:52 »

Why does this remind me of a scene from Futurama............

GHT: I'm tired of your yapping! All you ever do is complain, you never try to look beyond my stealing! Well I'm running away from this dead end place! I know there's a place for people like me with old ideas! There has to be?!!
PEEL: Fine, get going!
GHT: Oh I'm going! You're gonna be all "Where's Getak? I miss Getak!!"
PEEL: We won't know that until you leave!
GHT: Oh, I'm leaving!
PEEL: There's the door.
GHT: …………………………I'll be good.
Atticus

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #227 on: 08-01-2003 17:13 »
« Last Edit on: 08-02-2003 00:00 »

"Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles", of course!  That's my favorite episode.  I attempted a parody of that scene between child Bender and Farnsworth myself a couple of weeks ago in the "Why Leela flirts with Fry" thread.  Here it is:

 
Quote
Originally posted by Atticus:
Getak: I'm tired of you shippers and your yapping!  All you ever do is talk about why Leela flirts with Fry, and you just won't accept the fact that their relationship, and Futurama in general, is doomed!  Well I'm running away from this dead end forum!  I know there's a place for people like me with new ideas.  There has to be!
PEELers: Fine, get going!
Getak: Oh I'm going!  You're gonna be all "Where's Getak? I miss Getak."
PEELers: We won't know that until you leave.
Getak: Oh, I'm leaving!
PEELers: There's the door.
Getak: .............I'll be good.
Mango

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #228 on: 08-01-2003 17:13 »

...perhaps his beloved InuYasha will eat him for dinner.  Mmmmm, plagerizer.
Action Jacktion

Professor
*
« Reply #229 on: 08-01-2003 18:04 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Allen:
Last Shot was really good and quite entertaining. It took some getting used to Romanticorp as evil, but the author pulled it off well. I say to this author, I can't wait to read more from you.
Well, they did slaughter all of those Lovey Bears.  And they were generally annoying.
getak2003

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #230 on: 08-02-2003 22:39 »

ok fine i am a horrible author and i hate my work, you win.
Killerfox

Professor
*
« Reply #231 on: 08-02-2003 23:26 »

hey i just finished reading Kryten's: "Looking for snu-snu in all the wrong places" & "Amy's wedding" parts 1,2,3 & 4,
and i really want to say: You are an awsome author Kryten  big grin big grin big grin big grin
Wonderbee31

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #232 on: 08-05-2003 13:08 »
« Last Edit on: 08-05-2003 13:08 »

Kif White's Universe of Malice, chapter 13 is up at TLZ.  First off, I have to say, like all of the previous chapters, this was a great story, the characters are really fleshed out, and they seem to be working well together.  I should say though, this story has some fairly gory bits to it, though in the context, they make sense, and belong there.  The characters are in a fight to the death, and, as in real fights, people do get hurt, and worse.  I know what I'm talking about (war vet).  That said, you should not concentrate on all of the violence, but look at it from the big picture, and the story's p.o.v. 

This is a great chapter, and an excellent story, and I think that members here should read it, as it does what all good stories do, makes you feel emotions for the characters within it.

 Kif White, I salute you, for a great piece of storytelling, because you made me feel sympathy for the folks there, and whetted my appetite for what comes next.
Tardom

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #233 on: 08-05-2003 17:43 »
« Last Edit on: 08-05-2003 17:43 »

really good kif white.
Futurama_Hil

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #234 on: 08-05-2003 17:44 »

Chapter 13 was the best chapter so far.  It felt like you really weere in the story in the action parts.  also it was done emotionally, too.  i loved this chapter.  one thing, though; i don't like Alesia very much.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #235 on: 08-05-2003 21:01 »

i'm not a big Alesia fan either. It's not that i dislike her, i guess i just resent her for trying to get between Fry and Leela.
Kif White

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #236 on: 08-05-2003 21:35 »

First of all, thanks to everybody for all the kind comments.  smile

Secondly, Alesia seriously appears to be one of those love/hate characters. I've had comments ranging from saying she's one of the best original fanfic characters, to ones saying they want her killed off immediately.  smile
Futurama_Hil

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #237 on: 08-05-2003 21:49 »

yeah, i don't dislike her, in fact i think she's actually one of the best original fanfic characters, but like Venus, i don't like how she gets in between fry and leela and how her regular attitude is. i tend to dislike people who think about suicide for some reason.  but don't get me wrong, you write her in the story well (if that makes sense)
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #238 on: 08-05-2003 21:54 »

i'm intrigued by charactors that think about suicide. That's a very dark emotional place to be in and i like reading about stuff thats dark and emotional.
Wonderbee31

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #239 on: 08-07-2003 08:42 »

Delicious Surprise part 4 is up at TLZ, and I have to say, I was very impressed.  I wish that I had as good a handle on the characters as Missy does.  She made Leela come to life for me, and had her act in a way that was a little shippy, but not overtly so.  I think that this is currently one of the better fanfics out there.

Well, what are y'all waiting for, get over there and start reading.  Bhali ga yo!
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